Barty knows, he realized it a couple weeks ago, him and Evan were ditching class by the black lake, there was nothing special or different from all the times before, but Evan laughed and the sun on his skin made it looked like he was shining and Barty knew. It isn’t as hard as you may think, there is no yearning or heartache, Barty has known Evan for a long time now, it’s easy to be his friend cause that’s what he’s always been, and Evan makes sure to remind him of it every day.
Evan and Pandora are sitting together while Barty is sitting with Regulus on the other side of the classroom, they have plans for this evening, like always, except for the last two months ‘cause Evan has been seeing someone, he never tells who he is, oh yeah, cause it’s a he, much to Barty’s disgrace, he has never mentioned him directly but Barty is no fool, he noticed him sneaking out and disappearing every now and then , dropping “he, him and his” in conversations, always avoiding the subject.
The bell rings so he stands up and turns to where Evan should be but he’s not there, he walks with Pandora and Regulus out of the classroom and head to the dinning hall, they are talking about something he doesn’t care enough to pay attention, he will remember, yeah Evan is forgetful but Barty is his best friend, they have plans, he will be there, Barty doesn’t know if he’s saying it cause he believes it or cause he wants to do so.
Ten minutes, Barty is walking to where they were supposed to met up. Ten minutes have passed but Evan will be there, how could he not? He instantly recognizes his footsteps walking down the corridor, Evan looks up and their eyes meet, he noticed Evan’s messy hair and eyes gleaming, his chest warms up and it’s taking everything in him not to blush “Sorry I took so long.”
“It’s whatever, let’s go now.”
Sneaking out to go to Hogsmeade takes more time than what you would think, it’s been almost half an hour before they’re walking on the outskirts, avoiding anyone who could recognize them. “You’ve been quiet is everything alright?”
“Yeah.” It sounded sadder than he intended to.
“You don’t sound like it, wanna talk?”
Contrary to popular belief Evan is really caring, he sure looks silent and non expressive about anything but that’s only half true, he cares about his friends, Barty can’t even count the amount of times Evan held him close and stroked his hair until he could fall asleep after a fight with his dad.
He wasn’t ready, he’s pretty sure he’ll never be, he wasn’t scared when he realized his feelings for Evan but he’s not gonna tell him, at first he thought it was casual, something that happened cause he was bored or maybe it had something to do with the stars and the planets, he even asked Pandora about it. But after last week when Evan fell asleep waiting for him to finish his essay on the common room he knew it wasn’t gonna go away, when he looked over to check on him and heard him breathing suddenly he thought that maybe, just maybe, he’s always been a little bit in love.
“I was just thinking about Regulus, he’s been more mysterious than usual.”
“I noticed that too, de you think he’s seeing someone?”
Their hands brushed, it was nothing, they barely touched, but Evan didn’t move away and for a moment Barty could pretend he meant it.
“Let’s get butterbeer it always cheers you up.” Evan grabbed his hand and walked faster towards somewhere Barty didn’t care about.
They walked in and Evan dropped his hand, he couldn’t help but to feel a little disappointed, what did he expect? for Evan to hold his hand all the time? “Can you go and find a table? I’ll go order.” Barty nodded and chose a table a little on the corner, next to a cold window.
“Here.” Barty looked up to Evan, he was holding two butterbeers and a slice of chocolate cake. “Thought it could help.”
It made sense, falling for Evan, him being so attentive and kind towards him, remembering small details and noticing when he was down, knowing exactly what to do to help. All the reasons to fall for him were also the reasons not to, Evan doesn’t feel the same and that’s the truth, harsh but nothing he couldn’t handle, he had to remember it.
They were both in silence for a while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, this is why they were best friends it is never uncomfortable between them, not even in the begging, Barty was always loud and chaotic but there was something about Evan that just soothed him, they could be in silence for bourse, the have been in silence for hours.
Barty took a piece from his slice and offered it to Evan who took it happily and flashed him a smile. Barty’s down bad, but he doesn’t really care, that’s what he tells to himself.
After a couple more butterbeers and shared bites off the chocolate cake slice they headed out, the sun was starting to go down and the air started to freeze. They were laughing at everything and nothing at the same time
Evan walked down the path they’ve taken many times before, it leads to a cliff from where you can see the shrieking shack, not many people know it and even those that do are too scared to go there; but Evan and him are never scared of anything.
Evan sat infront of a tree and made a gesture at Barty to sit down next to him.
“So, where you with him?”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on Evan, you’re always sneaking and being late to everything.”
“Why do you assume it’s because of someone?”
“You sometimes mention a him I just picked up on it.” Evan remained silent “come on, you know you can tell me anything.”
“Yeah I was with him.” Barty’s chest shouldn’t feel as squished as it does, he already knew this, that there was someone, this is just further confirmation, so why does it feel like he’s gonna throw up?
“Do I know him?”
“Yeah.”
“I assumed he’s not from Slytherin so I’m gonna go for Ravenclaw.”
“Gryffindor.”
Not only is Evan seeing someone, he’s seeing a man, something Barty is, he’s giving someone else a chance Barty could take, but could he?, he’s nothing like a Gryffindor, of course Evan would go for someone like that. Barty knows him, Evan said so, since he doesn’t really get along with many people from Gryffindor he crossed off those who he does know and now it makes so much sense. “Potter?” He already knows the answer but prays to whatever entity is out there that Evan says no.
“Yes.”
It stings, no, it doesn’t sting, it burns, it feels like someone is peeling his skin off his bones. The sun, the golden boy, everyone loves him and why would Evan be an exception? Barty doesn’t bring himself down ‘cause he is comfortable with who he is, but it makes sense, Evan is introverted and sometimes weird but easy to be around and a great listener, and James is outgoing and loud and popular, they just fit somehow.
“Going for the big prize huh? How did you manage to bag him?”
“What did you just say to me?” Evan turns to Barty, he’s annoyed. This is one of the thinks that Barty loves more about him, he never masks, he’s raw with emotions, never covering them up and he will never eat them and push them aside, he will confront you there and then. Barty doesn’t know what he said or did that got him so annoyed.
“I asked you something Barty.”
“I don’t get what I did.”
“Why are you assuming stuff, that’s not you, that’s Regulus, he makes up stories and asks you and it takes a while to bring him down from that cloud but you never do that.”
“It’s just obvious.”
“What, I can’t have friends now?” Now Barty is confused, he couldn’t have misunderstood it, could he? “I asked you something.”
“You’re not?”
“There’s nothing different in the way I act with him than I do with you.” Stings. “I sneak and I skip class and I talk to him, like I do with you.”
Like with him, Evan hangs out with James like he does with Barty, they’re just friends like him and Barty. He wants to scream at him but what could he say? he’s right, they’re friends. He can’t do this.
“What’s up with you Barty?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s okay to be Jealous.”
What. “Why would I be jealous?“
“It’s James, but you have nothing to worry about you’ll always be my best friend.”
“Stop Evan, just stop.”
“Stop what? you brought it up.”
“I don’t wanna hear about James anymore okay.” Now Barty is annoyed, annoyed at him and James, at himself. He can’t tell if his head is spinning cause of the anger or the alcohol but he struggles to get up from the floor.”
“Where are you going?” He sounds worried and it hurst Barty cause he knows it’s not his fault but he can’t keep listening to him saying they’re just friends like them, they’re friends, they’re best friends. Friends.
“Just leave it Evan.” He hears Evan stand up behind him as he grabs his wrist and forces him to turn around. “I said leave it.”
He couldn’t tell anyone how it happened or when it happened, he just knows at some point after he finished his sentence Evan’s lips were on his. They’re not soft or gentle but Barty knows nothing in heaven could ever compare to this, and he’s mad, he’s fuming. So he pushed him back.
“What the fuck.”
“Don’t kiss me.”
Evan’s face drops, for the first time Barty can’t tell what he’s thinking. But Barty is too selfish and impulsive to give it a second thought so he pulls Evan in again and kisses him, hot and fast. He feels heat arise inside his chest and gets furious as he feels Evan’s wet tongue against his. Evan walks backwards until he bumps against a tree Barty leaves his lips to kiss his neck.
“What is this?”
“What?”
“What are we doing?” Barty regrets it as soon as it leaves his lips, he’s gonna regret it.
“What we should’ve done a long time ago.”
Barty takes a step back and stares into Evan’s eyes as they stay in silence, he doesn’t speak, not cause he’s afraid he’ll jinx it but because he knows that’s not necessary, Evan’s eyes tell him all he needs to know.
“You’re insane.”
“Nah, I’m yours.”
So Barty kissed him again. Evan’s lips feel like a promise he’s sure he’ll never break.