Brother.
Regulus can't breathe, he can't breathe, he really can't breathe. He had just gotten the dark mark 2 days ago, he had sealed his fate.
There was no out now, there was no James.
There was no Sirius now.
His feet carried him to the courtyard, to a tree, up into the tree. But he isn't sure how he got there. Time after getting the dark mark was jarring, never right but a reminder.
He sat there for a long time, till the sun dipped and the moon rose. The moon always came after the sun, right?
And then he heard the footsteps, he knew those footsteps, he knew them so well he felt 6 again crying for his mother to stop hurting his brother.
Why would she hurt his big brother? His brother. His kind, fearless, brave, caring brother. His brother who showed him the stars and a way to get extra food, who never let him take a punishment. His brother who sat with him on stormy nights or in the shower or bath, to make sure Regulus didn't feel lonely.
The brother who left, who ran away to James, who left Regulus in that house, who abandoned him, who treated him like he was just another slytherin in the castle.
His brother sat down at the stump of the tree, oblivious to the bundle of his brother in the tree just above him.
Regulus watched his brother stare at the moon. He didn't say anything, no one did, there was only Regulus, Sirius, and the moon.
"Oh Regulus," Sirius sighed, still staring up at the moon.
Regulus felt a surge of panic, did Sirius know he was here? But one perceptive look and Sirius did not know Regulus was in the tree.
"I was just starting to dream the silliest and softest of dreams," Sirius said sorrowfully.
And Regulus felt anger. Sirius got silly and soft dreams and Regulus had this curse on his arm? How was that fair?
"i miss you" Sirius murmured, Regulus watched his brother pull his knees to his chest. Regulus's chest constricted painfully so, Sirius missed him? After he left? After Sirius abandoned him?
"And i will always miss you, but i cannot live like that." Sirius said, a hint of an emotion Regulus had never heard from Sirius.
Why couldn't he live like that? Regulus could do it? Why couldn't his older brother?
"And it seems you cannot live any other way. When i'm with you, the world makes sense b-but when we're apart, i see clearly that your world is not one in which one can escape whole." Sirius said softly.
Regulus felt himself violently pulled back into reality, the vulnerability in this situation.
Sirius doesn't know Regulus is right here, and it will stay that way.
Regulus only then notices Lily Evans standing by with a somber expression, he wonders if she understands Sirius better than Regulus does.
"Sirius, if you would have stayed in that house, it would have killed you," She said reassuringly to Sirius, like she's reminded him of this many times.
But it's the first time Regulus hears that, and he can feel the crack in his chest at how true those words are. He sees it now.
Sirius isn't meant to be caged, to be ruled, to be contained, to have you pulled out. Thats what that house does, it contains you, it trains you to be ruled by a higher power, it pulls you out and crushes it.
Every hit Sirius took, every curse, every day without eating, every hour locked in the cupboard, every piece of food snuck to Regulus, every word, every tear, every fake smile. Every single one was killing Sirius slowly.
"I'm a terrible brother for leaving him there, lils" Sirius murmured. And Regulus desperately wants to disagree but words failed him.
"You're not. You spent your every waking moment trying to protect that boy, it was about time you protected yourself." Lily said softly but adamantly. And Regulus thanked the heavens and stars that Lily Evans was here.
Regulus wanted to go back in time, he wants to have appreciated every smile Sirius sent him, he wants to have remembered to smile at Sirius's silly jokes he said to cheer Regulus up, he wants to have spent more time with him without a care in the world.
He wants to have left with Sirius when he asked.
He watches helplessly as Lily helps put Sirius back together and he watches with words on the tip of his tongue as they walk away towards the castle.
He watches them fade from sight and collapse out of the tree, he falls into the arms of his best friend.
"You can still go with him, Reggie. Go, you deserve it, you know i'm with you every step of life." Barty murmurs as multiple arms wrap around a shaken Regulus.
Can he? Can Regulus really go to his brother? To not shoulder all this? To be welcomed into his brothers loving arms again?
"You can," Evan says softly, Regulus knows it's Evan, because Evan is pressed into Regulus's hair.
"You absolutely fucking can, Reg." Dorcas says firmly, and Regulus start to feel the cracks in his build.
"You deserve it more than anyone, you've done enough Regulus, let us do the rest and go get some love." The ever so wise and kind Pandora whisper into his back.
He can go to his brother.
...
If you told Regulus a year ago he would be laughing with his brother and his best friends on Euphimia Potter's couch, He would have laughed in your face.