Mizuki breathed in Ena’s neck, her nose loving every part of her wife.
She placed a soft kiss on Ena’s neck, her arms wrapped around Ena’s torso in bed.
“I love you,” she whispered in between her kiss.
Ena moaned softly with affection, and she turned around, her arms wrapping around Mizuki’s torso. They were holding each other in bed.
Ena’s eyelids were slightly closed as she placed a kiss on Mizuki’s lips.
“I love you, Mizuki.”
Mizuki’s body warmed with affection, and she moaned lightly in love of Ena’s soft kiss.
Mizuki began to cry. Her life was such a nightmare in the past, and now, she was in the most comfortable place- in the arms and loving adoration of Ena’s prescence.
Her tears painted the pillowsheet, and Mizuki buried herself into Ena’s throat, sobbing noises escaping her throat. Every painful memory began to surface in her mind. Every moment she wasn’t able to fully process at the time- that I wasn’t able to process at the time- begun to relive and revive in her memory.
Ena’s heart swarmed with love and care for her wife. The way Mizuki clutched her arms around Ena’s torso tightly as she begun crying, reminded her of when Mizuki- when I- begun to tell the experiences that she had to go through because of her experience being transgender. I- had to meticulously research and plan to get HRT, when my family refused to do everything they could for me to get my HRT.
They tried to force me to accept that I couldn’t change my puberty, that there is no way they would let me get HRT, until I was 18; because hormone therapy is prohibited for medical providers to provide to minors. They didn’t want to get in trouble.
What they didn’t see, was that I would be subjected to mental and emotional death if I had to keep living in boy puberty.
Mizuki’s tears begun to subside, as her mind and heart grew dull. She was so tired of everything she had to go through. She- I was so alone, when I began to take matters into my own hands to acquire DIYHRT.
I had to research how I could buy the medicine myself, and administer it myself. Where a medical provider could have easily explained everything to me, instead, me, at the age of 15- when I should’ve just been focusing on school, continuing my transition by learning makeup, changing my voice, and learning skincare and such-
Where a medical provider could’ve handled everything for me- I had to learn it by myself. All alone, on my phone, without any handholding; and I felt so pained and bitter in that time. Why did my family have to be so scared? Why couldn’t they have just helped me?
I had no transportation nor money to get everything I needed. I had to devise a plan, all by myself, when I’m already crying every day because of how much I want to just be happy and pretty like Mizuki: I had to find a way to get money. I had to order medical supplies off Amazon, I had to find a way to get crypto while I was underage and without KYC- without ID verification. Because I couldn’t acquire my medicine with only paper dollars or a credit card; cryptocurrency was the primary payment method to get HRT online.
I had to walk for upwards of hours, to and fro, to find a non-KYC ATM- a ATM machine that wouldn’t require me to shown my age or veriification.
There were so many steps that I had to do, that could’ve become SO much more easier if my family would have pledged that they would do ANYTHING to get my HRT. It was life and death to me, not them. I had to do everything alone.
Ena’s fingertips brushed Mizuki’s cheeks softly.
Mizuki murmured weakly in Ena’s throat, her tears beginning to form again. “I’m remembering about how hard it was for me in school.. From other s-students…”
“Mizuki…” A tear formed in Ena’s eye, her love for her wife and how much she had to go through overwhelming her heart.
“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart… I love you, my precious.. ❤️”
Mizuki moaned with affection and love to her soft, loving words, tears of adoration and love forming in her eyes. Her heart, within Ena’s love; her body wrapped and cuddled gently within Ena’s embrace; and her mind, finding its relief and joy in being understood and being able to process what she had gone through, cushioned Mizuki’s emotions and feelings with soft, loving tenderness.
Mizuki was all for Ena; every part of Mizuki’s being- her face, her body, her skin, her five senses- ached and yearned for Ena’s love.
And Ena knew that. (They had communicated that to each other before.) And so, Ena began running her hands up Mizuki’s torso, her fingers beginning to circle and rub her nipples, which were aching for Ena’s love, of course.
Ena leaned in to kiss Mizuki on the lips, and then placed a kiss on her throat, whispering “I love you.”
Mizuki’s ears began to ring with love and intense warmth pooling in her stomach and body, and the stimulation made her weak and incredibly tender to the love Ena was giving her.
The love and affection within Mizuki kept pooling.
Mizuki’s heart adored Ena.
“I l-love you, E-ena…”
