‘You know, I used to have a huge crush on you back in third year.’ Lily said lazily, turning her head just enough to look at up at Remus from where she was lying on the grass. The Hogwarts grounds were particularly beautiful in their spring splendour, the grass green and vibrant, the sun warm and calming, and the trees providing cool shade. It was just perfect for relaxing, something Remus definitely needed after a long hard week of O.W.L.s (he’d been well prepared for all of them, but nevertheless had a lingering sense of stress). Luckily, Lily (as always) picked up on it, and early that morning, barged into the Marauders’ dorm and claimed she needed Remus all day for a ‘debrief of the O.W.L.s’, which was met by groans and complaints from the other boys. However, she quickly shut them up by suggesting that they were more than welcome to join them - unsurprisingly, no one took her up on that, to Remus’ amusement but certainly not his surprise.
So, an hour later , he found himself lazing about with Lily on the glorious spring lawn under a tree, enjoying the peace and quiet. ‘Really, Lils? Me?’ Remus responded in disbelief. He really did love Lily like a sister, but he’d never imagined she’d ever thought of him that way.
‘Of course I don’t anymore!’ She added hurriedly, sensing his confusion. ‘As soon as I found out about you and Sirius - which, by the way, you were TERRIBLE at hiding - I was rooting for you two. You’re just so perfect. Plus, someone has to keep that boy in line.’ She laughed at that last part, no doubt recalling Sirius’ latest unfortunate escapade.
‘Oh, don’t worry about it, I wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, just surprised. I mean. I know we’re close now, but I really wasn’t that friendly to you back in third year… and I’ve never been much of a looker.. you know, with the scars and stuff…’ Remus trailed off awkwardly, already regretting bringing up the topic of his appearance, something he almost never talked about (and Lily never brought it up, which was much appreciated).
‘Remus! How can you even say that? I’ve always liked you, ever since we met!’ Lily replied in mock annoyance.
‘…But….me?’ He really didn’t like the turn this conversation was taking. He just wanted to hang out with the only one of his friends who seemed to even understand what relaxation meant.
‘Yes, you! You, with your books, your patience, your hard-work, your perseverance, your humour, your smile, your AMAZING sweaters! You, with your kindness and gentleness despite all you’ve been through. You, with your acceptance of everyone and your quiet but formidable strength. You, Remus.’ It was at this point that she realised Remus was crying, softly, shoulders shaking as tears dripped to the ground. She sat up and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze, before enveloping him in a hug that lasted both eternity and only a few seconds.
Remus broke away from her arms, sniffled, and looked up at her smiling freckled face. ‘Sorry Lily’ he said, clearly embarrassed. ‘It’s just, I don’t hear that a whole lot. I know the other boys care about me, and Sirius of course, but they would never tell me like that…’
‘I know they agree with me Remus, and I’m willing to bet more people do than you would think. But you do deserve to be told. I love you, Remus. They love you, too. We all do. And you deserve it all.’
The two of them sank down onto the ground again, and spent the next hour into peaceful silence, occasionally pointing out funny clouds (‘That one looks just like Slughorn!’) or reminiscing on their younger selves’ shenanigans. But inside, Remus was still processing all that Lily had told him, so casually, like it was easy. Was he really that loved, worth that much? Well, it didn’t seem so unbelievable then, with the warm sun on his face drying the remnants of his tears, Lily’s hand in his as they lay there, the stress of exams gone by for another year. For a moment, he could just be. Just be, and be loved.