Wait and see
Effie
Euphemia Potter had been working tirelessly day and night to somehow identify Remus and locate his family, but no success was in the cards yet. Apparently, even though his name sounded quite unique to her, a lot of Remus’ had the habit of going missing. Not one boy she’d investigated led to leads in her case. Most wasting her and her team’s time, with their families saying they’d been found when they showed up on their doorsteps. She’d exhausted all her missing person options that match Remus’ description and was scrolling through the presumed dead reports with tears in her eyes. All these children, all these poor families, they were too late for them. But she could help Remus, she wouldn’t allow his family to grieve him like all these other families had to grieve their children. She could help this one.
Finally, after hours of filtering through the system of PD’s, she found two promising candidates that could be Remus. With both in the same age gap of 15-18 years old in the present day, both missing for 7 or more years, they each had photos of children filed with the reports. One featuring a boy with messy brown hair, tan skin, and freckles sitting on an older man’s lap, both staring down at the book he held, and the other featuring similar features, although lacking freckles and a bit chubbier than the previous boy, grinning as he readied himself to catch the ball being thrown at him. The first titled under the name Remus John Lupin, the second put under Remmie Louis. She wrote them and the contact info in the little notebook beside her, deciding to visit Remus in the hospital to see if he could clarify. Not wanting to give false hope to a family already grieving the loos of their child.
At the hospital, she found Remus in his original room, sitting up and scribbling messy words in the notebook she’d left on his bed the previous day with the instructions to write all he could remember onto paper, that it would help him process the last few days, or years in his case. She’d also left one for Sirius and his brother, who she has planned to check on after talking with Remus.
Knocking gently on the door as to not startle the poor boy, she pushed her way into the room. “I’m glad to see you found the book, I was worried for a minute you might of never left your friend next door.”
“Effie,” he croaked, quickly shutting the book and pulling it to his chest as if to guard it with his life. Effie decided it was not best to push. “You didn’t need to come visit. I know you’re busy, I’m not that important I assure you.”
Effie sighed, a look of pity trying to overcome her face, but she held it back. She was sure that, like most of her previous clients, Remus would hate being pitied. “You are as important as everyone else Remus, maybe even more so if you can help me with one little detail I’ve been struggling with. It’s to do with finding your parents.”
Remus’s head shot up from where he was staring down tiredly at his notebook, his excitement clear in his eyes even if his worn face didn’t show it. “My parents? You’ve found them? Where are they?”
Effie sighed, “That’s what I need your help with Remus. Can I ask you a few questions?” Remus hesitated slightly before nodding eagerly, gesturing to her she could ask away, “Do you have a nickname? Maybe something your parents used to call you when you were younger?” He shook his head. “Do you remember your last name? Or a middle name of yours?” Remus thought for a second, tilting his head to the side slightly, like trying to remember the faintest sliver of a memory. He slowly shook his head.
“Okay, that’s alright. You’re doing good. Do you know you mum or dad’s name?” With that question Remus nodded and smiled slightly, the guilty look of not remembering anything slipping off his face.
“My mums name is Hope, I remember because my dad used to tell me stories of when they met. He said that back when they were younger, she was the only spark of hope he had left.” Remus smiled at the memory, a small lopsided smile, but a smile none the less. Effie smiled too. That matched up with the contact details on her main suspect in the presumed dead reports. But she needs to make sure, she wouldn’t give Remus or that family false hope if she could help it.
“Remus, I’m going to ask you to try really hard to remember that day, okay? When you went missing? Can you tell it to me?”
Remus.
Remus froze, looking down at his arms crossed over his body to give him a minute to think, to control his emotions. The fact was he really didn’t remember much, only little details here and there of the first weeks he’d been taken. He was so young, so clueless, so scared. He hadn’t really taken much in. But he’d learned from that, learned from his experiences what not to do, what not to remember.
He remembered playing at the park with his dad, his dad stopping to smoke a cigarette, he remembered feeling scared and lost and screaming for him, but that was it. He didn’t know what happened after, where he was taken, or who took him. He didn’t remember which park they were at or how it happened. It was all a blur now.
As he explained this, told her all he could remember, which wasn’t much, he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that it wasn’t going to be all fairies and rainbows, that even when they find his family, these experiences, these gaps, aren’t going to just vanish or fill themselves in with information he’d been trying to recall for years. He’d been trying to remember for about 3 years, that’s when he realised forgetting wasn’t gonna make it all disappear. With no luck, unfortunately.
In the middle of him explaining, Effie had pulled out a small notebook and was trying to subtly take notes, like he wouldn’t notice. After all he’s been through, does she think he doesn’t take in every single detail of his surroundings?
“What are you writing?” He questioned, keeping his voice as level as he could, after all there are bigger things, they need to focus on, like his family, but he didn’t like the feeling of being picked apart like he was some puzzle she was trying to solve.
“Just somethings to help you later, love. And taking down some notes for official documents of your account. Nothing to worry about.” She flicked her gaze to his, no doubt seeing the reservations in his eyes. “Oh sweetheart, its okay. I can put it away if that makes you more comfortable?” Remus nods once, trying to reason with himself that Effie had done nothing but help him, that his anger and fear wasn’t aimed at her, just himself and the people who imprisoned him.
The silence stretched on, Remus refusing to meet Effie’s eyes. Both of them willing the other to speak.
“I’m not broken. I’m not. I don’t need help. I’ve survived plenty of years on my own.” The words spilled from his mouth in whispered tones, still not daring to meet her eyes. He couldn’t admit it, not out loud, and he hated that someone had seen straight through. He couldn’t let them win, the boy they couldn’t break, remember? They didn’t succeed, they can’t. He doesn’t know if he could live with himself if they did.
“Oh Remus, its okay to need help.” He opened his mouth to interrupt, but Effie quickly fixed her slip up in wording, “even if you don’t need it its okay to still have it, vb. We’re all here for you. If you would be comfortable, I’d like to book in some one on one sessions, just you and me, and we can work through some stuff. Maybe even dive into what you’ve written in your notebook if you’re ready.”
Remus looked her in the eyes, only hesitating briefly before he shook his head, his chest already closing in on itself at the thought of sitting in a white sterile room and spilling all his thoughts, feelings, and memories to a complete stranger.
“Okay, just promise me you’ll think about it. I want to help you Remus, even though you think you don’t need support, I want to be here for you. You remind me a lot of my son, you know. You three boys would get on well with him.”
Remus just smiled politely, really not ready to start forming connections from a world and lifestyle that now feels so foreign to him. It was him and his family, with the exception of Sirius who had apparently wiggled himself into Remus’ heart, passed all his shields and protections, against everything and everyone else. He just needs to find his family first. He turned his attention back to Effie, trying to ignore all the uncomfortable feelings welling up inside him and got the conversation back on track. “So do you know where my family is? Or at least how to contact them?”
“Remus, I know you must be desperate and I know you have missed your family. But this process is all about building up to finding the right people and it can take some-”
“YES OR NO, EFFIE. I need you to tell me. Have you found any leads – anything! I just need something. Please…”
Effie sighed, opening her book again, and before Remus had time to lose his shit again, slid something toward him, leaving it resting upside down between her and Remus. “This is who matches your descriptions. Hope and Lyall Lupin, correct?” He nods. “I’ve just texted an officer to ring the contact left all those years ago, I’ll come back in a bit once I’ve received more information. Until then, sit tight, write down all you can remember or whatever you’re feeling. If you can’t put it into words, draw it or find another way to express yourself. This book is for your eyes only.” She winks before standing again, heading for the door, “Oh and Remus? Deep breaths. You’ve got this.”
As the door shut behind her, Remus flipped the paper. A boy with mousy hair and a collage of freckles across his face sat on an older man’s lap, both of them peering down at an old leatherbound book and smiling widely. A tear trickled down his face as he stared at the pair, scenting the air as if he could still smell the old, inked pages and the fireplace roaring in the background. It had been years since he’d seen his fathers face, years since he’d smiled so genuinely and freely as he did that cosy winter night. He missed him, missed mother as well, remembering her squinting face as she tried to find the best angle in which to capture the happy moment. Soon he’ll be able to see them both again, just like that moment, the three of them living in harmony. Fitting into each other’s space perfectly. No, he wouldn’t have to wait long, just wait and see.