Chapter 1
James walked through the Great Hall slowly. Colorful banners hung from the ceiling, highlighting each house. Students turned their heads to look at James before they decided to turn around again. They have been doing that recently. Staring, glaring, then ignoring. It wasn't that he cared much. Hell, he really didn't give a fuck. It was just a big off. Usually, they would smile and wave but now, it was just that same sequence of movements.
He neared his friends quickly; Sirius was clinging on top of Remus' arm while Perer was shoving a large piece of pancake into his mouth.
"Sorry, boys...I'm late. Ran into Mr. Preppy Pants and he gave me, just a wonderful time." James spoke sarcastically, referring to Snape. That was enough to cause even Peter to look up.
"Ah, well, sorry I missed that show. That little bitch can go suck it." Sirius grins proudly at him while detaching himself from Remus.
Remus made a small sound of annoyance before rummaging around in his small brown book bag. James sat down and started to load up his plate with scrambled eggs, toast, a piece of bacon, and some fruit.
"Feeding the poor, aren't we?" Sirius asked.
"Mhm, sure." Jame hummed absentmindedly. On top of everyone ignoring him, he hasn't really been all there. Sure, he's been physically present to all his classes, meals, and quidditch practices, but he was not much there mentally. He noticed this yesterday. Well, he didn't.
It was really Lily.
~Yesterday~
They were in the common room. Peter and Sirius were playing off a wizard chess, while Remus, Lily, and James sat at the couch, reading. Remus and Lily were reading. James just had a book out.
"You find that page interesting, Jamie?" Lily asks.
"Huh? Oh uh, yeah. Real interesting." James replied quietly.
"Mate, you've been on the same page for about a hour. What's going on?" Remus asks. "And if I happen to ask you what the page- no, paragraph is about, would you tell me?"
"Well- uh, it's about..." James stuttered.
He really hadn't been reading it. He was thinking about Lily. Not that she was just perfect like he had thought, but she has been remarkably close lately. That should be a good thing, but it just wasn't what he thought. However, he dismissed this thought because really, he hasn't even dated or kissed her... yet.
"Prongs, my love, my darling, my soulmate, my one-of-a-kind, you've been daydreaming! Anyone in that little mind of yours?" Sirius said abruptly, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
"Eh, I mean, I guess...but nothing like that! You're sick." James stated.
Remus and Perer silently gave a nod in agreement before Sirius dramatically faints and calls for assistance. James always thought he was a drama queen and this what just proof of it.
"Yeah. Fucking sick to the bones." Sirius had said.
~end~
"EARTH TO FUCKING PRONGS?!" Sirius shouted aggressively, waving and snapping his fingers in front of James' face. Ultimately bringing James back to reality, yet again.
"Huh?" James asks, blinging while looking at Sirius.
"You should go to the hospital wing. You have been like, nodding off but not sleeping, a lot lately!" Sirius exclaims.
Remus snickered before asking, "Nodding off but not sleeping? Alright Sirius, we see you." Peter started laughing slightly at Remus' comment.
"Oh, fuck off then. Both of you!" Sirius says before pouting; crossing his arms around his chest and sulking.
"Alright, alright. I get it. I'll ask Madam Pomfrey later. Don't worry about it. I've been just...confused? That's all." James said, really trying to convince himself more than the others. "I'm going back to the dorm. I forgot my Herbology book. I'll see you lot around." James added before he got up and walked out of the Great Hall.
James made it out to the hallway without any problems. It's when he turns the corner, the problem really begins.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, I should have looked where I was going- oh... Regulus." James nodded, slowly leaning over to grab his books. He made the excuse of forgetting his books just to get out of the awkwardness that was his friends.
"James." Regulus nodded in return. "Watch where you're going next time. Also, stop apologizing. It's very annoying and a horrible look for you- but I do suppose every look is bad for you..." Regulus rambled slightly.
James didn't know how to react. Should he ignore him? He didn't mean to walk into him, but the other part of him was screaming tat Regulus was being a jerk. That he needed to stand up for himself.
While thinking of what to do, Regulus shoved James over to the wall, muttered something along the lines of, "Move it, you log."
James just stood there. He was stunned. He was confused. He wasn't sure what just happened.
Did he just call me a log? What the fuck? A log, why in the world would I be a log? Am I that bad?
James breath started to pick up and his chest rose with it. "Fuck. Nonononono! Not here...not in the middle of the corridors." James muttered to himself. He thought he was starting to get better with these. He hasn't had a panic attack in months.
James' breath caught in his chest as he leaned against the wall. His knees locked as he slid down the wall. He tried counting anything at this point, but it didn't help. He hung his head between his chest and kneed, gasping for air.
"James!?" Lily bursts out of the corridor. "Oh- hey, hey. It's okay, love. Deep breaths. Do it with me, yeah? In...out. In...out. Yes, there you go. In...out. Okay, see? You're okay."
James looked up at her. Her red hair framed her face ever so beautifully. She looked like a goddess from the heavens. She smiled slightly.
Oh lord, why? Why Lily? Why can't she be Sirius, hell, even Regulus.
"I'm...sorry. I just, I don't know what happened." James spoke, trying to calm himself down in the process. He tried to stand up, but Lily stopped him from doing so. He just sat there, unable to get up. Unable to get out of the corridor.
"James, should I go get Sirius? Or Madam Pomfrey? What about Professor McGonagall?" Lily asked with concerned laced in her voice.
"Uh- no. No one. I'm fine, Lily. Thank you. I need to get my book, and I don't want to be late."
"Class starts in thirty minutes, James."
"Oh...well, I need to grab my books and maybe freshen up a bit?" James answered, not even sure. He just wanted her gone.
Lily gave a skeptical look before nodding, turning on her heels and walking in the hall. James released his breath and got up slowly. He needed to get out of the corridors.
Maybe the men's bathroom? Maybe just the dorms? Anywhere would be better than here, really.
About five minutes later, he found himself in his dorm. He slumped on his bed and slowly drifted off to the clicking of Peter's clock.
~~~
James found himself outside his house. It was his house, but the outside was a white color, instead of the original color. Strange. James walked inside the house and saw a tree. A Christmas tree. Lit with bright lights, presents hidden under it, all wrapped perfectly with a bow to tie it together.
Regulus came down the stairs and walked in front of James. James followed the boy with his eyes. When he was in front of him, James looked down at the boy before him. His hair swooped around his head, just perfectly. He was the spitting image of Sirius, just younger with shorter hair and some soft feminine features. Although, he would never tell him that. He was wearing a big black jumper with black skinny jeans. It was cute. His eyes were grayed over; being the most beautiful eyes he has seen.
"Hey, James."
James was confused. Regulus and him were not close enough to be on a first name basis.
"Hello, Black." James responded.
"Huh? I thought I told you not to call me Black, darling." Regulus responded sweetly, fingers scaling James' neck, and jawline.
Goosebumps trained James' skin. "Uhm n-not really?" He choked out. He wasn't sure what was happening right now.
"Oh, when then, chéri, you call me Regulus, Reggie, Reg, Darling, Love, or anything but Black. Do you understand, my love?" He asked innocently, batting his eyelashes.
James nodded slowly, staring into his eyes. "No. Bu-"
"Ah, but, my love, we need a yes," Regulus starts, "And besides, do we need the whole school knowing you're gay for me? You're best friend's brother? We don't need that, do we?"
Regulus took his fingers and trailed them slowly across James' lips. His eyes were going between James' eyes and lips. A small smirk formed on the younger boy's face as he got on his tiptoes. James watched closely. His breath was getting caught in his throat. This was actually happening. James closed his eyes and...
~~~
James woke up.