Remus couldn’t sleep. He had accepted that it was going to be the third night in a row that he wasn’t going to be sleeping very much. He was tempted to take one of the sleeping draughts that Madame Pomfrey had given him but he didn’t like how groggy they made him the next morning. Remus had been staring at the canopy of his four-poster bed when he heard a new noise in the night. The chainsaw-like noises of James and Peter snoring in harmony were normal but there was a different sound that Remus picked up on. Sirius was asleep, Remus figured, but he was having a nightmare. He used to get a lot of nightmares when he had first come to Hogwarts, James was always there to comfort him. It used to make Remus jealous, seeing the two of them so close. That feeling subsided quickly as all of them grew closer throughout their time together as roommates. Remus sat straight up in his bed, contemplating whether or not he should go check on Sirius or just leave him be. Sirius had a thing about Remus seeing him upset, he had noticed very early on. Sirius would get so embarrassed and kind of angry when he would cry in front of Remus. There was one time in their third year that Sirius didn’t speak to Remus for a full week because he cried in front of the other boy. Remus figured it was something to do with him, he never pestered Sirius about it.
Remus got out of his bed and padded quietly across the cold floor to Sirius’ bed, pulling the curtains away slightly. Sirius was dead asleep, but he was gasping for air and tears were streaming down his face. His hands were gripping tightly on the bedsheets, his knuckles white with the force of his grip.
“Sirius?” Remus whispered. Nothing happened.
“Sirius, wake up.” Remus tapped his shoulder lightly, afraid to scare the other boy even more.
“No…stop…st-stop,” Sirius frantically mumbled in his sleep.
“Sirius,” Remus said in a louder whisper, shaking his shoulder a little more roughly. That did the trick. Sirius’ eyes shot open and he sat bold upright in the bed, his whole body was shaking.
“Remus?” he whispered, avoiding his eyes.
“Hi,” Remus smiled softly in the moonlight. “You were having a nightmare. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I guess.”
“Oh,” Sirius’ shoulders sagged, and he ran his shaky hands through his long hair. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“I was already awake, don’t worry about it,” Remus said. “Well…goodnight.” He took one step away from the bed before Sirius grabbed his wrist and stopped him dead in his tracks.
“Can you stay? Just for a little?” Sirius asked in a quiet voice with the softest look in his eyes. It made Remus’ heart melt to a puddle.
“Of course,” Remus nodded and sank into the bed, leaving enough space between himself and the other boy who had still not let go of his wrist.
“Why weren’t you asleep? It’s really late, Moony,” Sirius asked.
“I know, I know. I haven’t really been able to sleep much lately. It’s alright,” Remus assured the dark-haired boy.
“Why not?” Sirius turned to face Remus.
“I dunno, just can’t sleep,” Remus shrugged. He knew exactly why he couldn’t sleep, the reason was the boy who was sitting right in front of him. Whenever he had free time to not think about school or pranks, his head was filled with Sirius. Without warning, Sirius wrapped Remus in for a tight hug, squeezing him like he was afraid Remus would float away.
“You okay, Padfoot?” Remus asked softly, wrapping his arms around the other boy and taking in his intoxicating scent. Sirius just held Remus tighter, not saying a word. Remus wondered if Sirius could hear how hard his heart was pounding in his chest right now.
“Thanks, Moony,” Sirius mumbled into his shoulder.
“Anytime, Sirius,” Remus chuckled lightly. To Remus’ disdain, Sirius pulled himself off of him. He was once again avoiding Remus’ eyes, he seemed to find a loose thread on his shirt much more interesting instead.
“Do you want me to go back to my bed?” Remus asked, silently hoping that Sirius would say no.
“...I’d like it if you stayed,” Sirius said sheepishly. It almost didn’t sound like him with the amount of bashfulness in his words. Both of them were thankful for the late hour that hid the blush covering their faces.
“I can do that,” Remus smiled as he shimmied under the blanket, Sirius following his move. They sat in the quiet for what felt like forever, laying still as boards without wanting to make the other uncomfortable. Though their whole bodies were buzzing with the closeness under the blanket. Sirius rolled to his side to look at Remus, their faces now very close, given that they were only sharing one pillow. It wasn’t uncommon for the boys to share beds; frequently, the four of them would fall into one bed and spend the night in a pile. But this was different.
“You’re thinking too much,” Sirius reached his hand up and tapped Remus on the nose, his hand falling with his fingers brushing his lips.
“Why do you say that?” Remus said softly.
“You look worried,” Sirius replied, a smile tracing his mouth.
“It’s alright, Sirius. Go to sleep,” Remus told him. Though he would give anything for him and Sirius to talk about nothing together, inches away from touching with the warmth of the sun in the bed with them.
“Can’t,” Sirius said, his voice breaking. “I…I don’t want to see them again.”
Remus hummed in understanding. He knew exactly who Sirius was talking about. Every one of Sirius’ friends held a special ball of white-hot rage for his parents.
“You’re safe right here,” Remus reminded him with a small smile. “I won’t let them get you.” Sirius huffed out a laugh at the gallant vow that a very sleep-deprived Remus had made.
“I’m not kidding!” Remus said defensively.
“I know, I know,” Sirius let his giggles die out. “Thank you, Re. I appreciate it.”
“You’ll be alright, Siri,” Remus let his hand wrap itself up in Sirius’ hair. Of all the Marauders, Remus was the only one who was ever allowed to touch Sirius’ hair. He never knew why.
“Remus?” Sirius looked at his thick eyelashes, his silver eyes caught in the moonlight perfectly. He scooted closer, their noses were almost touching.
“Yeah?” Remus said in a quiet voice. Sirius cupped Remus’ face gently, his thumb dragging over a scar on his cheekbone. No one said anything, they barely even breathed. It was Sirius who moved first, planting a hesitant kiss on Remus’ lips. It was awkward and quick. Blink, and you would have missed it. The time between that and Remus pulling Sirius back in was minimal. Warm and comforting was all that they felt. Everything felt comfortable at that moment. Their legs tangled together while their hands danced lazily through each other's hair. They separated after a few minutes, breathing heavily, and their lips pink.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” Remus admitted first. Sirius looked at him in shock before he burst out laughing. Holding his stomach as he giggled like a madman, Remus grabbed his wand and cast a silencing spell around the bed so Peter or James wouldn’t wake up and ruin this perfect moment.
“You’ve been waiting a long time? Are you fucking kidding me?” Sirius said breathlessly. Remus just nodded, blushing deeply. “I’ve been mad about you since I was twelve.”
“Really?” Remus said, his eyebrows raised so high they were practically in his hairline.
“Yes! Something about you made me lose all sense,” Sirius said.
“It's not like you had much sense to begin with,” Remus brushed his thumb over Sirius’ cheek as he spoke.
“And yet I still got you,” Sirius said pointedly. Remus must have accepted that answer because quickly, he pulled Sirius back in and buried his words with a kiss.
END