Draco pov:
It's finally Saturday and me and my bestfriend, harry, are in his room playing Mario kart. He's been my no.1 man since we were 7, my emotional support since forever. However, for the past 4 months I've been feeling more around him, more nervous and happy. It fuels my anxiety. I don't want to feel this, but I can't help it. I'm going to tell Harry today, I know he won't enlighten the news to everyone even if he does reject me. I hope he doesn't, but I think he will. I'm moving away tomorrow anyway because my mom has a promotion and she has found a new school that will help the best for my final year.
It'd around 6pm my mom and his are engaged in a conversation as they always are, and in 10 minutes it's time to go home so I feel this is the right time. We're currently layed chilling to 'conan gray: found heaven' on his vinyl player when I speak up.
"Hey, harry?" A nervous tone evident in my voice.
"Yeah?" He replies whilst eating a fizzy cherry sweet.
After a moment of silence from me, he turns " you okay? You've been quiet all day."
I can't look at him. Twiddling my thumbs, my breath comes out in a breathy sigh. I sit up. "I need to tell you something, but please don't look at me any differently."
He urgently sits up sensing the serious tone I'm speaking in.
"Yeah of course. I'll support you no matter what, you know that"
"Okay..a few months ago I realised I'm gay" it's finally out there.
Will he hate me? That's the only running thought that scares me .
"Oh okay, to be fair I already knew.. I mean you told me that guy we saw on the sidewalk was hot. Thanks for telling me though" Harry says patting me on the back. Ah, right. That happened. I'm going in a few minutes. Here we go..
"Also," at this he turns to look at me although I'm still avoiding his gaze "I don't know how to say this, but I like you har."
Confusion adorns his face "yeah, I like you too, were friends aren't we?"
Breathing in and out I say "no, I mean I like you. Like I think I love you."
I close my eyes.
He tenses next to me and stops eating. "oh. Draco, listen to me I like you, but to a best friend extent. I'm sorry" I knows he's genuinely apologetic but it doesn't mean that it pains me any less.
"Hey man, don't worry it'd okay." My voice betrays my own words.
He was going to say something before we were interrupted by my mom " Hey, draco! We need to go!" All too soon. This was the last time I'd see him for awhile he just doesn't know. I was meant to tell him but I just couldn't.
Tears swell up into my eyes, not enough for my vision to be effected but enough so I can feel it. However his oblivious self doesnt notice. "I need to leave..bye har. I'm sorry."
His head shoots up from its place staring at his hands, "please, don't? Just stay for a few more minutes like you always do. Your my best friend. Yeah?" Starting to move towards me.
I dismiss him immediately by shaking my head, but move towards him for our annual hug before one of us leaves. My hands twitch slightly but make home on his shoulders in a platonic manner.
"I'm sorry, just dont go" Harry suddenly says.
"Don't apologise, its okay. I'll always be your best friend, I hope you know that" whispering into his ear before I wordlessly grab my phone from his bed and leave his room heading towards my mother. After exchanging goodbyes to lily, we get in the car and head back home for a rest before we board the plane at 4am tomorrow. My head rests upon the glistening window to my left,
"You told him didn't you?" Lowering her head to me slightly. I nod my head.
"Oh draco, I'm so sorry. Did you tell him about the other thing?" She asks
Sighing I reply," no. That's the only thing he doesn't know, I couldn't tell him mom. But he'll be okay I know he will" looking to my right I witness her sadly smile.
Harry pov:
(Backtrack to their hug)
My heart is beating too fast to be considered normal. He can't just leave after telling me that, can he? I hate that I can't love him the way he wants me to. Wrapped in his arms I always feel safe but why does this feel final? He suddenly pulls away and walks out. "
"I'm sorry" I whisper to the empty atmosphere of my room. Despite the fact I can't help it, I still feel guilty. Unbeknownst to me, I sit here, on my floor, emotionless for the best part of 10 minutes until my mother comes upstairs.
"Hey, harry? " no reply.
"Sweetheart? What's wrong." She says dropping down elegantly next to me.
Shaking my head I say "nothing. Its just...draco."
"What happened?" Her gentle voice soothes the guilt from me slightly.
"Before he left...he confessed that he was gay, which you know I saw coming because of how he acts sometimes but I don't care about that. Instead, he told me he's in love with me and I feel so horrible that I can't reciprocate that to him." Tears well in my eyes.
"Oh love...its not your fault. It'll be okay." Even if I can tell the tone of her voice isn't convincing like she's not tell me something.
"I just don't want to lose him, or things become weird because he's my bestfriend." I reply finally hugging her.
"It won't har."
I can't wait for Monday. I can tall to him and make sure we are on the same page, everything will be okay.
Draco pov:
It's Sunday morning at approximately 3:30 and I'm taking a deep breath whilst getting ready for the flight, I don't want to leave. If I had the choice to stay, I would but I can't. I'll miss it but its just the way life goes. We will keep in touch (hopefully).
(Fast forward 5 days because I'm lazy and don't know what to write)
It's Saturday again and everything in the new house is ready and by this point, we're settled in. I've been thinking of harry non stop. He's all I've ever wanted, I was so close and now he's miles away. A lifetime it feels like.
Harry pov:
Nothing is okay.
It's felt like a ghost town, he's not been here for the past week. Surely he hasn't felt that embarrassed that he can't come to school right? Everything seemed fine when he left, either way I'm meeting up with my friends and I really hope he's there.
I just want to talk to draco. My best friend draco.
I made it to the park spotting my friends instantly, as I walk over to them I can feel a gap in the usual light and safe atmosphere. That is until I notice his absence.
"Hey, guys? Wheres draco, I haven't seen him all week." I say Earning confused looks until it dawns on hermione and she whispers to pansy something I didn't catch until she realised too.
"Oh" pans says. "You don't know do you?" Her tone is cautious as if approaching a wounded animal.
My anxiety and curiosity peaks. What is she talking about..
"No, I don't know. What's going on?" Although I slowly sit down frustration rises within me.
"Oh, um. Draco left. He had to move away last Monday, his mom had a promotion and they found him a good school.." they all track their eyes on me, patiently waiting for my response.
But my heart just sinks to my stomach. What..no. he can't just..
"What? NO he hasn't. Don't you dare lie to me, he's just embarrassed and at home he'll be back next week. I know he will!!" My hands flail whilst my heart beats even quicker. Rapidly standing up not believing a single word they said to me.
Hermione immediately speaks up. "Harry..it's not a lie. He told us 2 weeks ago and he told us not to say anything because he didn't want to upset you and tell you himself. But I'm guessing he never got the chance..did he?"
Tears fall from my eyes at the news. "No he didn't tell me."
Fuck, I'm such an idiot. I've lost him all because I'm so oblivious and didn't realise how anxious he was yesterday and how final our hug felt. The puzzle pieces are finally coming together.
"no.. he can't just leave me. I need him, he's my best friend." 'Mione looks at me with pity on her face but it doesn't register. All I can think about is how I didn't even say anything else to him before he left to go to another country. I feel like I'm drowning.
Hermione moves and hugs me, sinking into her arms I cry into her shoulder. "I can't do this without him, we were always there you know? I'm so mad I didn't catch on." She rubs my back but that doesn't suffice the amount of pain I feel right now.
I can't do this. Pansy drops me off back home, I'm greeted with my mother and I tell her everything until I start sobbing.
"Mom why would he does this to me?" He's been a huge part of my childhood until now, at 17 years old dracos always been there every when no one else was.
"I know. I knew before you did, he didn't want me to tell you because he told me how much he loved you. How much he'd do anything in the world for you.." This caused me to cry harder. "Before he left draco told me to tell you, that he loves you so much. And even though he knows you don't he appreciates you not being awkward about it and for letting your friendship still stand."
I cry so much my throat hurts. This isn't fair. That night I don't sleep. My mind reels about what I could've done better, how much I could've said to make him stay.
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It's been 2 months since he left and my depression isn't as bad as it was at first but the pang in my chest is still there. I'm not as talkative as I used to be or as lively but I'm alive. Draco has been the only thing on my mind for 2 months and I have come to realise I'm so in love with him.
If only I found out before he moved. I would've begged him to stay or went with him. I need him so much its not fair, I miss him tremendously. I'd do anything to hug or talk to him properly again. We only speak every other day for a few minutes because of the time zone and there's almost nothing to say. Any interaction with him sends butterflies in my stomach.
I miss our late night conversations. How we could talk for hours.
I just miss him, so here I am crying once again over a certain blonde boy who I wish was still sitting next to me laughing over stupid things like we used to do. I can't think or vision my life without him because truth is, he's my everything and I had to go and realise my love for him once he was gone.
I really wish I hadn't let him slip through my grip, right where I had him.