The essay
Remus Lupin needed to smoke.
His lips were dry, his throat was sore and he was hungry for a cigarette.
Remus Lupin was also at school. As a teacher, to be precise.
He couldn't help thinking about his younger self, swearing, that teaching some highschool, dumb teenagers has to be the worst job in the entire world. But now there he was, standing in front of some school bathroom's mirror, wandering if anyone will notice a little hole in his favourite jumper or some old scars, that were covering his face.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, indeed.
Remus turned on the tap and quickly sprinkled his face with some cold water. He couldn't understand why he felt so stressed before all this. He desperately needed money and being a teacher couldn't be that hard. Maybe Headmistress had sent him a little bit too sorry look, when she told him about that grade he was supposed to be teaching, but those were just teenagers. How bad could they be?
Then he remembered himself, when he was a teenager.
Remus shook his head, as if he wanted to get rid of all these thoughts.
It was supposed to last only couple of months, before he finds something different. Before he comes back to writing. And noone said he needs to be some sort of a perfect teacher anyway.
Remus took a deep breath, before finding the courage to step out of the bathroom to finally start heading to the classroom.
Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
The words written on one of the bathroom's door were the last thing he's seen, before stepping out to the corridor.
As a writer, he had to smile.
As a teacher, he had to admit: that was not a good sign for him.
***
- Why isn't he coming?
- How do you know it's a ma-
- George saw him on a corridor.
- And how is he?
- What does he look like?
- Is he young?
The classroom was buzzing from all the voices inside of it. Remus stopped right in front of the door, his hand freezed on the handle.
- Dunno - the boy was clearly in the middle of eating something. - A little bit faggot looking, though.
A few people laughed, but were quickly interrupted by another boy's voice.
- Mate, I've heard he's some sort of a writer. You need to be queer in order to become one.
More people laughed and Remus had to cringe at this sort of a joke. Teenagers...
After this the voices mixed into some incomprehensible chatter and Remus had no other choice, but to finally enter the classroom.
He didn't expect the kids to become quiet and focus all their attention on him, he wasn't that naive. But he certainly didn't think they'll just decide to... ignore him.
Not a single pair of eyes turned towards him, no mouths shut up, noone even blinked at his presence in the classroom.
Remus started slowly heading towards his desk, cautiously navigating his way between all sort of bags and backpacks scattered on the floor.
He stood beside the desk, waiting for all the chaos to stop.
It didn't.
So he cleared his throat.
He doubted anyone has heard it.
He did it again. Louder.
Still no reaction.
The kids were talking, shouting over one another to the point that Remus couldn't even hear his own thoughts. And maybe it was this that led him to do something very stupid. And irresponsible. And not really teacher-like.
Crash.
A ceramic mug, that was supposed to store the teacher's pens has landed somewhere under the blackboard, scattered into dozens of pieces.
Was throwing objects across the classrom safe? Did it make Remus look professional? Maybe not.
But at least it was effective. Because now every face and every pair of eyes were focused on Remus. This was his chance.
- My name is Remus Lupin - he started with the most proper accent he could do. - And I am your new English teacher. Does someone want to explain to me what happened to the last one? The Headmistress wasn't very keen to talk about it...
A thick silence was the only answer to his question and Remus has already opened his mouth to go on with this even further, but-
- She ran away - a redhead boy said from the back of the classroom. Remus recognised his voice as the one who called him a faggot.
- Did she? - he asked slowly, trying to keep the kids' attention.
- Yeah - the boy was using this tone of voice that was, Remus was almost sure, reserved only for the most boring adults on earth. Or just for some annoying teachers. - Just like the one before her. And before. And probably before, I've already lost the count. It's almost like they're scared of us with the way they run away.
The whole class giggled and Remus sighed heavily, before saying the first thing that came to his mind.
- So... it's good I've never been good at running - he wanted to shot himself for saying this. First day at school and he was already cracking some teacher-like, unfunny jokes?
His students seemed to be thinking the same, since everyone was looking at him confused. A few of them released a small laughter, altough Remus knew perfectly well they did it only because of some pity. Or because they wanted to make a good first impression on their new techer.
Whatever the reason was, Remus couldn't blame them. He cleared his throat, about to continue with his introduction, when-
- Sorry I'm late - Remus looked at the boy, standing at the back of the class. His messy hair matched his sloppy clothes. Besides the fact that they were looking almost twice too big for him he didn't even wear a complete uniform, having some flanel shirt instead of the required school blazer.
Was he supposed to punish him for breaking the dress-code? Give him detention for being late?
- Where have you been? - Remus asked instead, feeling a little guilty for being too indulgent. He hated to admit it, but he really wanted to make a good first impression on his new students.
- I was... making some artwork - the boy answered, and Remus couldn't really tell if he was telling the truth or just playing with him.
- What kind of an artwork? - he asked suspiciously.
- A caricature. The best I've done in my entire life - his tone was even more confident now. - I can show-
- No need - Remus quickly interrupted him and pointed at the last empty seat in the classroom. Next to that redhead boy. - Sit down, please.
Remus turned around, thinking about where did he end... But some hectic whispering reached him before he managed to gather his thoughts.
- Where the fuck have you been-
- Silence! - he looked at the last desk with tired look on his face. Maybe being a teacher wasn't that easy after all. Because the kids seemed to be driving him mad. - What is your name?
- Uhm... Ron Weasley. Sir.
- Mr. Weasley I will not be tolerating this language during my lessons, do we understand eachother?
The only answer were loud murmur, that spreaded all over the classroom.
So that would be it from trying to make the students like him.
- Let's just... go back to where we ended... - oh, that lesson was a disaster. - So... my name is Remus Lupin.
- Is Remus a real name? - some girl in the front asked.
- Yeah, obviously... - the boy that came late answered bluntly. - It's like this... son of the wolf or something...
- Owoooooo!
- Thank you, that will be enough - Remus was doing everything to remain calm. - I'm glad you know some Roman mythology, Mr...
- Potter. Harry Potter.
- Right... Mr. Potter, maybe you would like to tell me what was the last thing you've managed to do with your last teacher, so we can continue from there.
The boy looked as if he wanted to say 'maybe I wouldn't' for a couple of seconds, but then cleared his throat and started speaking, without looking at Remus:
- We were doing some grammar stuff most of the time.
- What were you reading? Some poetry, maybe?
The boy shrugged in this annoying teenager-like way. Oh, Remus wanted to kill all of them for that attitude.
- Maybe. But nothing in particular. I don't think Mrs. Turner was a huge fan of poetry.
- Well, I am, so forget about grammar, we will be focusing only on the literature. You see, I'm a writer myself, maybe you've read some of my books-
- Maybe we didn't - someone interrupted him and Remus took a deep breath, looking at the class with fire in his eyes.
- Seamus just meant that... - Harry sent Remus some falsely compassionate look. - Noone here reads.
- But somehow you know Roman mythology.
The boy snorted and stared back at him with some fiery gaze.
- I'm just a huge fan of wolves. I identify with them as with my spirit anima-
- Enough! - Remus thought that the fact that he managed to stay mostly composed until now was almost a miracle. - Since you don't want to collaborate, we'll solve it in a different way. Tommorow I want to see an essay from you - at least three pages - on the topic... let's say 'The Definition of Love'. I'll check what is your current level.
There couldn't be more basic topic. Or more boring one.
- Maybe you should note this - he added, because the students were all just staring at him with their mouths open. - Now, open your books and start reading the first chapter, I need to check the attendance list.
For the first time today they did what they were supposed to without complaining and Remus smiled at his educational methods.
- Parker Jacob?
- Here.
- Potter Harry?
- Here - Remus looked up, staring at the boy raising his hand.
- See me after the lesson will finish - he said impulsively, not knowing what exactly he wanted to talk to him about.
- That's not fair, he didn't even do anything! - it was Ron, who stood up for his friend, looking at Remus with fire in his eyes. Harry, on the other hand, didn't look bothered by his teacher's request. Only... tired. A little bored, maybe.
And suddenly Remus knew what it was, that made him want to talk to Harry.
He reminded him of his younger self.
There was just something in his attitude or in the way he was-
The door suddenly opened and a very much stressed first grader went into the classroom, speaking in a thin voice:
- Professor Snape wants to see Harry Potter in his office.
Remus turned his face towards Harry to see his reaction. There was nothing. Or maybe, just maybe he could see tiny amount of terror in his eyes. But as soon as it appeared it faded away.
- Alright, tell him he'll come to his office in a couple of minutes. As soon as my lesson will end.
- He wants to see him now, sir.
Remus sighed and looked at Harry once again. The boy has already packed all his stuff, ready to go.
- Go then - Remus ordered, feeling like admiting some personal failure.
And even though the rest of the lesson and the whole day were relatively calm, Remus Lupin simply couldn't stop thinking about Harry Potter.