in which Hermione meets Pig
"Absolutely not,"
They had been going at it for hours.
Draco, for himself, had agreed immediately. It somehow gave Harry an uneasy feeling. The fact that the boy had agreed so easily just because he was Harry Potter gave Harry the impression he was manipulating him. And now there he was, feeling guilty about something he didn't do.
However, once it had come to convincing the Granger girl, Harry had been glad to have Draco on his side. She was terribly strong minded. And as if it wasn't bad enough, her tiger agreed with her.
Speaking of her tiger Harry had caught Hermione call it Crookshanks, but he simply refused to believe it was its actual name. God, what was his problem, surrounding himself with females who gave their pets terrible name. It was like they had something against the poor animals' entire bloodlines ! First Ginny with Pig and now Hermione with... bloody Crookshanks ? Did Crookshanks have a nickname, like Pig ? Because Crookshanks really was a mouthful. Maybe Croo ? Who knew. Harry figured he would have to ask.
Then it downed on him. When the idea hit him, it felt like a personal slap from God.
He was a bloody genius.
Hermione and Ginny. Of course. The idea in itself was terrible. He couldn't even imagine the two of them together. They could create so much havoc...
but he had to try. He didn't have any other option anymore.
So he went for it.
"If it because you're afraid the pirates are all men in their mid-fifties, then you don't have to worry. In fact, I'm pretty sure none of them are,"
"Wait, really ?" Draco seemed genuinely surprised, like he just assumed pirates to all be some weirdo pervy guy with a hook instead of a hand.
Harry sighed. He could do this.
"Yes, really. Didn't I just tell you earlier that Neville was one on us ? There's literally a bunch of kids our age on that ship. One of them has a pigeon named Pig !"
Harry was desperate to the point of just shooting his shot with a blindfold on and praying to his ancestors he hit somewhere even remotely close to the target.
And for some reason it was what made it for Hermione.
As she started gathering hers and Draco's stuff that had been lying around, Draco stared at Harry with a look that said "I'll never underestimate you again".
***
At least Harry had the chance to prove Hermione he hadn't been lying about Ginny A+ name-giving.
As soon as the stepped inside the room once on the ship, the goddamned thing launched itself right into Hermione's face :
"Pigwidgeon, come. BACK !"
Ginny quite literally barged in the room with feathers in her and a scratch along her cheek.
She stopped in her track as soon as she saw Harry and their two guests. It was fascinating seeing her go from "frantic murderous woman on a mission" to her usual self. Without even greeting Harry, Ginny turned around and yelled at the door's general direction :
"MOM, he's back !"
Molly Weasley came in next. She, compared to her daughter, greeted him with a hug. She smelled like baked goods and oranges.
"Harry, dear, what took you so long ? You had us worried !" She gently scolded him, before turning to Hermione and Draco. "Hello you two ! Please come in, diner's ready. I don't care what Augusta says, you kids look terrible. Right now, feeding you is the priority. Merlin, look at yourself ! Have you even eaten properly since you asked the Academy ?"
It was a rhetorical answer. When Molly turned her back to them, Hermione had to cover Malfoy's mouth to prevent him from answering. Harry wondered if it was as bad as Molly had predicted.
As they made their way to the dining room, chatters and laughters became louder. Harry could tell Hermione was uneasy. She would have probably preferred to get in there with her tiger (who Harry had learned did have a nickname, it was Crooks), but they had found it wiser to leave him on the deck.
Around the table, Dorcas was sitting sideways on Marlene's lap and was currently playing a heated game of rock-parchment-knife with Luna.
Ginny was nowhere to be seen (probably in the room she shared with Luna, taking the feathers out of her hair). The Weasley twins were in a corner explaining in great details how some explosives worked to Pandora. Augusta Longbottom was having tea with Charlie, and Arthur was hovering over a map with the Prewett twins.
And Ron had apparently been waiting for him, because he leaped from his chair to come greet Harry as soon as they got in.
To Harry's great surprise, it was Pandora who Draco chose to sit next too. He was even more surprised when he explained they were related.
"My grandmother was born Rosier," he simply said.
"Ah. Druella, right ?" Inquired Pandora.
"That's the one, yes."
"I hope you won't take any offence if I tell you she was a real pain."
"No offence taken."
After that, Luna joined the conversation. The idea of being Draco's cousin twice removed seemed to amuse her greatly. She spent the whole meal asking him questions (somehow, most of them were based on some guy named Diogenes who Harry had not the blindest fucking idea who he was).
Hermione, for herself, seemed to find confort in the fact she and Dorcas came from the same place. She also opened a great deal to discussion when she learned that Percy was Molly's son.
She then went on an academic ramble Harry could tell she had been holding in for days.
In fact, Harry was surprised things were going so smoothly. Even Augusta hadn't let out a single remark about Bellatrix the whole meal.
And then, came the moment of asking touchy questions. Draco and Hermione seemed to realise it too, as they became seemingly tenser.
Harry really hoped this would go as planned.