You'd like to be kept hidden? My boy, I want to show you off

Choi Subong, also known by 'Thanos' is a famous rapper in Korea. Known not only for his chaotic and wild personality, his unique rapping style, but also for listening to indie rappers and giving them shout outs on his platform to increase their listeners — but that's only if he liked their flow.

He stumbles upon another indie artist by the name of 'Minrl_Wtr', who seems to be a dude based off their voice. His music genre was completely different from what Thanos would have originally listened to, this guy's music being more mellow, the kind you'd hear during the calm moments in a movie or the ending theme song of a show. But Thanos likes how he sounds, so he keeps listening to his songs. And the rapper ends up liking every single one of them.

He thought about doing the same thing he does with every indie artist he has listened to, but out of all of them, Minrl_Wtr was his favorite so far, so he felt like gatekeeping him even though the public deserved to hear his angelic voice. Yes, Thanos thinks it's angelic, the calm to his chaos.

Thanos scans Minrl_Wtr's profile one more time, reading through his bio when a sentence caught his eye.

'I'd like to be kept hidden'

It stunned Thanos, if he'll be honest. But respecting his wish, the rapper did as he was asked — even if the request wasn't directed at him, it made him think that his first feeling was validated. And so he uses Minrl_Wtr's songs as something to fall asleep to instead.

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It has been three weeks — three weeks since Thanos had last discovered Minrl_Wtr, three weeks since he last listened to the faceless singer's songs, and Thanos is starting to think that he'd become obsessed.

The signs were there, repeating the songs he had already listened to, checking for updates like a new short song on his platform, searching for any kind of face to associate the voice with, or at least a persona — something that isn't an aesthetically pleasing art work of water.

He wants to know who's behind the angelic voice that not only lulls him to sleep, but also gets him through the day. Thanos had Minrl_Wtr's songs on play 24/7, when he slept, when he ate, when he showered, when he drove to his music studio, when he went out to buy cans of beers... hell, even when he took a shit.

Thanos was becoming desperate. He wanted to learn about Minrl_Wtr, know him as a person, and actually have a name to call him by.

He realized that this was the first time he ever felt this way for an indie artist he listened to, let alone one he had only discovered three weeks ago! Most of the times they're a come and go, only leaving an impression on Thanos if they're really good and passionate — or if they didn't piss him off.

Thanos can not comprehend what is with Minrl_Wtr's songs, it's like an addictive drug was injected in each and every song. And that was a comparison coming from a drug addict.

The rapper did wonder what kind of drug it would be, none of the party drugs he takes fit the vibe of Minrl_Wtr's music. Thanos actually thought about it for a moment, when he remembered something he learned years ago.

Coffee

Minrl_Wtr's music gives off something like coffee. Warm, sweet, and addictive. Thanos may not look like it, but he loves coffee, especially the sweet and creamy ones.

Thanos had learned from his university professor, Mr. Cho Sangwoo, that coffee was also a type of drug, hence why it can be addictive if not consumed with discipline.

Speaking of Mr. Cho —

'How is he doing now?'

Thanos had always remembered him to be a strict and reserved professor, someone who'd make it clear and obvious if he found you infuriating. That's why most of his block mates disliked his subject and him, including Thanos.

But his impression of Mr. Cho soon changed when he saw the professor out in public, with a man — a foreigner.

From what Thanos could remember, the man was shorter but had more muscle mass, making Mr. Cho who is — in Thanos' opinion — muscular, look thin when beside him. The shorter of the two had thick, curly hair, brown skin, and a bright smile that reflected onto Mr. Cho's face.

That was the very first time Thanos had ever seen the professor smile, a genuine one. Most of the smiles he gave or showed his students were either sarcastic or condescending. And neither were good in their opinion.

But seeing that expression on the face of the teacher he feared, it made Thanos wonder how special the other man must be to Mr. Cho.

During that time, Thanos didn't pay any mind about the possible relationship his professor might have with the mystery man. But looking back, they may have been dating or secretly married. And he hopes they're still together till this day. Happy and healthy.

The sudden memory made Thanos feel a little envious. He wished to have a relationship like theirs — one where you look at you partner only to find them already smiling at you. With nothing but love in their eyes.

Thanos was only able to truly date during his teens. He was considered handsome in high school, so a lot of girls professed their feelings for him wishing for a chance to be his girlfriend. He dated some of them, but none of it lasted longer than a month. He always found himself getting bored, lacking commitment.

During Thanos' first year at Uni, he came to terms that he was bisexual, and he acted on that by having flings with men and women — sometimes with both at the same time.

But when he debuted, he was strictly told by his manager that dating was prohibited, even with a fellow idol. At first, Thanos followed that rule, but as years pass, he got bored again.

He figured he had established his career enough to not be slammed by the public for dating a fellow idol. Although, he was proven wrong and not, when only a few weeks into their relationship they were already caught by dispatch, causing an uproar between their fans.

Surprisingly, Thanos' fans were pretty chill. They were the supportive side of their relationship, telling them that they looked good together and that they should make music with one another. While the fellow idol's fans were enraged, asking them how could they date someone like Thanos.

Thanos wasn't even offended with what they have to say about him, he was more or so worried for his fellow idol's state. He soon realized why that rule was established from the beginning.

Thankfully, his ex recovered from the hate. Getting back on track like before and not ending up on news for... ending it all.

These were the times Thanos had realized that he took relationships for granted. If he had been more committed, then maybe he'd have a longer relationship to share as a story in interviews. But you know, as they always say.

It is what it is.

Thanos soon snapped out of his moment, remembering he was at his studio writing a new single. He heard faint music playing from his phone. He checked to see 'Solitude' by Minrl_Wtr playing.

Now he knew why he felt so lonely right now.

Feeling offended with the song's perfect timing, he turned it off and tried to put his focus back on writing — only to turn it back on a few minutes later because he missed Minrl_Wtr's voice.

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Thanos couldn't take it anymore.

It had already been a month and he was still listening to Minrl_Wtr. He already accepted the truth that he had become a fan, and that the singer became his new hyper-fixation. Needing to hear his voice or he'll go crazy.

There wasn't a time of day where he didn't think of listening to one of his songs, always going 'Oh, this Minrl_Wtr song would go so well with this activity'. Or catching himself smiling everytime he hears or saw mineral water...

Thanos felt like a fool, and he didn't even know why. Was he feeling this way after listening to him for a whole month?

Bullshit!

Minrl_Wtr's songs may have amazing composition, touching lyrics, and an angelic voice to bring them to life — but that shouldn't be all that, right?

On top of feeling like a fool, Thanos also felt pathetic.

Yes, he did initially thought of gatekeeping the singer for his own personal comfort, which was nothing like him at all. But maybe, if he recommends this pleasant nuisance to other people, like his friends. Then maybe — just maybe — he'll be able to set himself free from the prison of his own obsession towards the unknown man.