Chapter 5
After that night, the days seemed to fly by. Without the worry that he was lying about who he was to his two best friends, Harry felt considerably less stressed, which allowed him to have a considerable more amount of fun with his friends. They made good on a few of the ideas they’d come up with on the train here, their ways of ‘honouring’ Hogwarts castle while they were still here. Most of this consisted of Harry and Ron sneaking out in the middle of the night to look for new hidden passages or to scare the occasional student who happened to also be lurking in the corridors after hours. As they’d declared ‘tradition’ since first year when they had helped Hagrid smuggle his baby dragon up the tallest tower in their first year, they also snuck out to Hagrid’s hut just after curfew to catch up with him, drink tea and … look at rock cakes. They could do this anytime of course, and Hagrid always tutted and worried at their rule breaking, but the rule break was a key part of the tradition. Even Hermione joined them in that, and there was nothing more worthwhile than a harmless breaking of school rules being not only allowed but committed by Hermione Granger.
Harry had worried when the first Hogsmeade weekend came round that ROn would be disallowed from going due to his month-long detention, but apparently his detention was only to be served on weekdays. Slughorn really was soft, and maybe Hermione was right in saying Ron would never learn better, but Harry didn’t care either way as long as he got to spend time with his two best friends. Drinking butterbeer in the three broomsticks. Watching Ron get wasted after one fire whiskey in the Hog’s Head - Hermione fretted that he’d been poisoned, either by actual magic or the germs from the dirty glasses, but no he was just tipsy. He leaned on Harry, an arm thrown around his shoulder as they left the bar. Harry couldn’t tell if Ron was acting drunker than he was or if he really did need Harry’s helpt to keep him upright enough to walk. Either way he wasn’t complaining, well not genuinely anyway. He did playfully whine about it, however. “How’re you so the heaviest of all three of us and still the lightest weight,”
Harry and Hermione had split a fire whiskey as well, and Harry felt a little light, like he was floating and buzzing like a bumble bee, but he felt pretty sure he wouldn’t be nearly as drunk as Ron seemed to be if he’d had a full whiskey.
“Hey, I’m a big man, don’t shame me for that,” Ron rambled only half sensically.
“Yep, a very big man who couldn't outdrink a toddler,” Harry agreed.
“Well toddlers shouldn't be drinking, cuz they’re not big like me, HP,”
“Uhuh,”
“HP?” Hermione asked, looking back at the two of them behind her. “Is that you?” She raised a brow at Harry who only shrugged.
“Yeah, Harry needs a nickname. Mione’s got one. I’m Ron, but can’t make a good nickname out of Harry. HP sounds cool, like you’re a rockstar artist or something,”
“You are Ron,” Harry agreed, his voice teasing but a warm smile on his lips.
“Oi, wait!” Ron called to Hermione to stop as he pointed at the shop they were passing. It was Madam Puddifoot’s, the inside decorated in flowers and hearts, and a number of couples sat far too close together at the little tables. Hermione and Harry both grimaced at the mere sight of it, but Ron grinned like he’d struck gold. “We should go in,”
“He’s gone mad,” Harry concluded, looking to Hermione as if for help.
“Maybe he was poisoned,” She seemed to be seriously considering the idea, a concerned frown on her lips, but Ron protested.
“No, no. It’d be funny,” They both eyed him like. “They’re all gross and weird and couply in there, but if all three of us go in they’ll be grossed out and weirded out by us being not couply,”
Hermione shook her head. “I think that means it’s time for you to go home. Maybe to Madam Pomfrey to check if you’re well,”
“C’mon it’d be funny,” He looked to Harry for support. “Or you and me could go in and we could do gay rights. You like rights Hermione, don’t you? We could hold hands for rights and also cuz it’d be funny to see everyone’s reactions,” He raised his brows as if proposing a spectacular idea, flashing Harry that grin that was so very Ron Weasley, and so nearly made Harry's heart leap out of his chest. He could feel his cheeks pinking, matching Ron’s for reasons unrelated to being tipsy.
It was an awful idea, and he wished he could say he’d rather vomit up slugs for an hour than even consider it, but he couldn’t help but consider holding hands with Ron when Ron was smiling at him with that beautiful contagious grin of his. And he couldn't help but consider going on a date with him, though the imagining stopped there, because he’d fight a giant serpent while vomiting slugs than go on a date at Madam Puddifoot’s ever again even as a joke. He just about gagged as the sugar-sweet smell of the shop wafted over him on the breeze reminding him of his disastrous date with Cho way back. And the worst part of that date to him was still not Cho storming out crying or Cedric seeing him holding hands with his girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend. Harry still wasn’t sure, and it didn't matter, because the worst part of that whole date was just having to sit around all those couples snogging and cuddling up to each other in public.
“Listen, I’ll fight for gay rights plenty of other ways, Ron, but I’ll give up all my rights before I step foot in that shop,”
Hermione snorted, and Ron broke into a fit of giggles, leaning even more heavily against Harry and ducking his head down into his friend’s shoulder as if it would hide his flush-faced fit of laughter. “All right Won-Won, it’s definitely time to get you back to the castle, I think,” Harry patted his friend on the back in an aggressively platonic way in order to offset the fluttering he felt at the feeling of Ron’s warm breath against his neck. Ron took a few more moments to collect himself, trying to stop his giggles as he straightened himself up a bit, throwing Harry an exaggerated frown. “Don’t call me that, HP, gross,” Harry chuckled and patted his friend’s back one more time before moving with him after Hermione back towards the castle.
***
Harry’s relief at the unburdening of the guilt he’d constructed was going to be put to good use. After they’d returned to the common room that evening, he finally brought up his idea to Ron about the two of them doing auror training together in their free periods. Their free periods had expanded to evenings when Ron had detention with Hagrid. He had seemingly jokingly suggested that Harry should jump him while he was out doing groundwork, so he could “Really get that authentic, dark wizard experience,” Harry had laughed at the suggestion, before locking eyes with Ron, the two making a silent agreement that maybe it wasn’t a good idea, but they should definitely try it. Harry had grinned, winking mischievously at his friend before returning his gaze back down to the textbook he’d been attempting to study. Over the pages though, he could see his friends' ears flush pink as if trying to camouflage into his hair.
He had pretended not to see his friend's telltale blush, but he couldn’t help but think about it for the next few days. Rather than fizzle away, his crush seemed to only be growing more persistent. It snuck into his dreams where Ron wanted to hold his hand and go on dates with him as more than just a joke. In his dreams their mis-adventures exploring the castle during the dead of night, brought them closer and closer under his invisibility cloak, into the potion’s classroom where where pearlescent pink potions steamed with the intoxicating scent of treacle tart, freshly polished broomstick wood, the burrow, and that warm uniquely Ron musk. In his dream the smell seemed to grow stronger and stronger, dream Ron growing closer and closer, reaching for Harry, smiling at him the way he does but with an added tint of fervent, sultry mischief. Ron murmured something in his dream, but he couldn't tell what it was, just that it was warm and tender and it made Harry want to melt into a puddle on the ground. Maybe he was about to melt. He didn’t find out, because as dream reached out for Harry’s face, seemingly about to pull him into the same passionate kiss that had plagued too many of Harry’s dreams, he was jolted awake by a real life person’s hand, a real life Ron’s hand he quickly realised, smacking his cheek gently.
He groggily registered his friend leaning over him through his bed curtains and speaking at what seemed far too loud a tone. “It’s about time, I’ve been trying to wake you up for ages. Were you having a nightmare? You started breathing all heavy, like hyperventilating or something,” Harry replied by batting Ron’s hand away and throwing his extra pillow at the other boy’s face, if only to keep him from looking longer at Harry’s own heat-flushed face. “Rude, fine then I won’t wake you up for Halloween breakfast,”
“Sorry sorry, you just startled me,” Harry said, tossing off his covers and running a hand over his face as if to wipe away his embarrassment at being woken up from a romantic dream about his best friend by his best friend. He ran a hand through his hair, not fixing any of his bed head before he hopped out of bed and grabbed his robes.
“I spooked you from your festive Halloween dream,” Ron said, wiggling his fingers and drawing out his voice as if mimicking the otherworldly echo of a ghost.
“Yeah, totally,” Harry said with dry amusement, facing away from Ron as he pulled on his robes. Uniform sloppily thrown on, he went back to combing his hands through his hair, trying vainly to get a handle over it as he walked to grab the hair potion Hermione had given him. He combed the potion through his hair sloppily, ready to hear Ron’s whine to hurry up, because he was hungry. It didn’t come today, however.
Instead, as he messily pulled the front and top bits of his hair back to tie into a bun and grab his bag, which was light today as professors had cancelled afternoon classes, Ron stopped him rather than hurrying him. “Oi, wait, it’s off centre, lemme fix it,” He said, Harry only realising that he was talking about the little bun in his hair when Ron reached up nestling his fingers in Harry’s messy curls and pulling out the quickly twisted hair tie.
“Thanks, Hermione would’ve spent the whole day glaring at me, and I would’ve spent it trying to figure out why,” Harry chuckled, his joking tone uncommonly tinged with awkwardness. He tried to stop his heart from fluttering and his cheeks from pinking at the feeling of Ron running his large hands through Harry’s hair as he methodically sorted the messy locks into the hairstyle Harry had been attempting.
Harry thought for a moment he was still dreaming, though he knew how dreams felt, and they were nowhere near as real and dizzying as this. But he also knew that Ron rarely did anything methodically, and he’d certainly never offered to do anyone’s hair. He’d even said a few times while he and Hermione had been dating that he was afraid to even touch her hair for fear his hand would get lost in it and he’d never get it back. That was a joke of course, but Harry had also seen him scowl as he watched Hermione pull her hair sloppily back so she could focus on work, clearly fixated on how it looked but unwilling, even while they were dating and not in a fight, to make the move to fix it himself.
And the silence between them felt heavy now, hot, like it was laden with unspoken emotions. Harry felt like he couldn't breath, buzzing at the closeness of his friend - was he leaning in or was Harry just being delusional? - and the light caress of fingers in his hair. He was definitely being delusional. Ron didn’t have the same feelings towards him that he had towards Ron. In all the relationships he’d had the displeasure of seeing his friend in, he was brash about his feelings, toxicly jealous like with Hermione or blazingly smitten like with Lavender Brown, or boldly brunt like with the Ravenclaw boy he’d dated so briefly Harry often forgot it happened despite having watched Ginny hype him up and Ron square his shoulders and muster up the confidence to approach him for the first time. He’d never seen Ron be gentle and quiet, like he was being now. It almost scared him. It made him nervous, the butterflies in his stomach multiplying and fluttering more frantically with each fraction of a second.
“Alright, done,” Ron declared, his voice quieter than it should be but with its normal bluster like a handyman admiring a job well done.
Harry’s face was hot as he reached up to inspect the bun with his hand. “Damn, who knew you could do hair,” He muttered in half-mocking admiration. The bun was still messy, but it was centred and it felt neater and more stable than Harry had ever been able to get it even with enough Sleekeazy to drown in.
“I have my secrets,” Ron said, moving away to grab his stuff and head toward the door, looking back at his friend with a wink which Harry had no idea how to properly interpret. He didn’t have long to guess, because Ron continued with that ghoulish voice and waggling of his fingers once more. “I’m good with my hands,” He said it like it was spooky, and Harry made a face at him, eliciting a chuckle as the taller boy turned to leave the dorm.
Harry shook his head as if that would stop the giddy light feeling that Ron’s gentle hands in his hair had left in his whole body. Following after his friend, he forced himself to think about normal things and to talk like a normal best friend, a normal no crush having best friend. “Have you still got detention today?”
Ron groaned in reply. “Yeah, all afternoon, but Hagrid’s promised to let me go before the feast starts,”
“Alright, good,” Harry nodded, remembering the wink he’d thrown Ron’s way the other week and the ridiculous plan his friend had proposed. What better a day to play the role of a dark wizard and ambush your friend than Halloween, and since Ron would be groundskeeping all afternoon, he had plenty of opportunity to give him a surprise attack worthy of a real auror.
***
It was mid-afternoon when Harry set his plan in motion, throwing on his invisibility cloak so he could sneak unnoticed across Hogwarts’ great lawn towards where he’d seen Ron last working at the edge of the forbidden forest that rimmed one bank of the black lake. He’d spent far too much time enchanting his broom as invisible as possible and an even more ridiculous amount of time figuring out the perfect way to wrap his cloak completely around him so no part of him could be seen as he crouched side saddle on his broom. It wasn’t a very practical situation given he couldn’t use his wand while he was all wrapped up on his broom, but that was all right, because he only needed to be invisible long enough to sneak up above Ron. After that he could free his casting hand to get a spell on his unsuspecting friend.
And he did just that, floating silent and unseen over the grounds, closer and closer to the gangly red-haired figure who looked to be magically clearing writhing plants that had grown too close to the edge of the school’s grounds. Closer and closer he flew, grinning with anticipatory excitement at the shock he was sure to give his friend. He followed Ron just past the tree line, hovering a few feet above his head and waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce, and given he wasn’t an actual dark wizard, he didn’t want to strike at a time when Ron might fall into real danger. With every second that passed however, he worried his friend might have somehow already noticed him, so as soon as he saw his opportunity he took it.
Throwing the invisibility cloak off the top half of his body to free his wand, he cast a silent levicorpus at his friend, seeing the light of the spell dart towards his friend at the same time as he watched Ron’s immediate reaction, dodging out of the way and craning his head up to see Harry’s floating upper body. A brief grin flashed on his face at the sight of his friend, but it was obscured from Harry’s sight nearly immediately as a torrent of rope shot up at Harry from Ron’s wand. He dodged right, but sitting sideways on his broom, he didn’t have the same control or balance he usually did, and Ron’s incarcerous caught caught the tail end of his broom, binding it together and throwing it off course. Harry focused his attention on steering to safety, as Ron threw more duelling jinxes his way.
His friend grinned with excitement and amusement at having gotten an up on Harry, and he teased the boy weaving unsteadily through trees to dodge his spells. “C’mon, aren’t you the best in school at DADA? Shoulda surprised me better, thinking I didn’t expect you to try and sneak up on me on Halloween?” There was fond laughter in his voice despite the gloating ribbing he was giving Harry.
But Harry could tell the jeering was distracting Ron from getting good aim on him. “You at least gotta admit I got a good jump on you, Ronald,” Harry chimed back, hoping to encourage his friend’s taunting and subsequent distraction.
“With the broom and the cloak? Don’t tell me you think I’m that dim, or that I don’t know you well enough to be sure you’d use those,” Harry had been weaving around trees while Ron’s spells were slowed by his speaking, brushing close enough to one to slide off his broom and crouch in the crook high up on one trunk, pulling his invisibility cloak back up to cover his whole body, something he could do much easier now he was off the broom and could sit how he liked. The broom flew off without him, a barrage of bombarda shooting after it before Ron could realise Harry had disappeared fully. Ron squinted up at the cluster of branches Harry had disappeared into.
“Good thing you’re not a real dark wizard, or I’d being doing a lot more arson right now, Harold,” Harry couldn’t help the snort of laughter, however faint, Ron’s stupid joke and stupid nickname elicited from him, and clearly hoping for just such a reaction, Ron cast confringo towards the noise. Harry stayed still, the spell flying just left of him and blasting a branch on the tree where he hid. “C’mon, no need to hide. I thought we worked on this already,” Ron sighed dramatically as if ready to give up.
Harry took advantage of the drawn out expression to throw a trio of expelliarmus at Ron, before hopping down the trunk of the tree, leaving his invisibility cloak in its branches to retrieve later. “You shouldn’t talk so much. I don’t think there’s a shit chatting bit on the auror test,” Harry said, grinning as he saw the third spell hit, sending Ron’s wand arching out of his grip.
He sent incarcerous in the direction of Ron’s wand, expecting his friend to lunge after it, but instead of moving away from Harry towards his wand, Ron came at him like a charging bull. Caught off guard by at the abandonment of magic, Harry couldn't dodge in time and was tackled by his friend, his back pressed against the tree he’d previously been perched in.
Ron’s chest was pressed against Harry’s, his greater weight and strength leaving Harry unable to wriggle free from between him and the tree. His hands gripped Harry’s own, shoving them on either side of his head, so he couldn't use either and his wand, gripped in one first, was stuck pointed up towards the tree.
Harry had all intentions to keep their duel going. After all he was doing this to challenge Ron, and what challenge would it be if he gave up. However, he found his brain on anything but what spell to cast to get himself free or distract ROn long enough to get the jump on him. He was far too distracted himself, by the feeling of Ron’s body flush against his, the heat of his breath so close to Harry’s face, the flush of excitement in his cheeks and the glimmer of satisfaction in his eye like he knew he’d won. He declared just that after a few seconds stretched between them, silent except for their heavy breathing.
“I won,” He declared triumphantly.
Harry choked on a laugh, wanting to deny the claim, because Ron didn’t even know where his wand was and Harry still had his own right in his hand, but he couldn’t manage to say anything. He needed to say something.. Needed to do something besides gaze into his friend’s ocean eyes, his own emerald ones certainly betraying all the fluttering, ridiculous crushing he’d felt over the past too many months, all the ridiculous thoughts that had invaded his dreams of him and Ron dating, holding hands, kissing, looking at each other just like they were now. He had to say something.
Ron was looking at him with a warmth Harry had never known before, a tender look juxtaposed flusteringly by Ron’s body pressing Harry hard against the rough bark of the tree.
“Ron,” Harry finally managed to speak and his voice came out in a raspy murmur.
“Yeah?” His friend asked, seeming to lean in closer.
Harry’s brain was going haywire in the most pleasant way. If Ron was trying to distract him to further prove he’d won their sparring match, then he was doing a great job of it, because all Harry could think about was Ron’s lips on his.
“Can I-” He stuttered on his words, the one he wanted getting lost somewhere in transit replaced instead by, “Can I tell you something, I’ve been afraid to admit,”
Ron’s head tilted back, brows furring slightly in a bemused expression. “Course,”
“I don’t want to be an auror,”
Ron brows furrowed even further, head tilting back another fraction of an inch. Harry almost felt cold in the little space the motion added between their faces. He could almost breathe, almost think. “Is this some sort of way to try and get the jump on me so you won’t have to admit I beat you for once?” Ron sounded amused, but there was a fair bit of sincerity in his friend’s otherwise ribbing tone.
“No no,” Harry exhaled a small laugh, shaking his head. “I mean it,” He said, loosening his grip around the handle of his wand and letting it drop to the ground at their feet. No longer clenched into a fist, he let his hand soften under Ron’s larger one, twining his fingers through Ron’s.
Ron’s brows stayed furrowed at the gesture, his grin slanting downwards ever so slightly. “Are you sure, cuz if you’re lying I’m going to be genuinely upset,” His tone was all too serious this time, and Harry shook his head again.
“I mean it. You won. I don’t want to be an auror. I’ve no idea what I want to do after graduation, and that terrifies me. I just know I want to do it with you. I want to be there with you,” He felt a wave of relief and anxiety rush over him with equal force as he finally had the courage to tell his best friend all the things he’d been hiding. Or well, he wasn’t sure if the second bit was clear, and honestly that was the more important part for him. “I mean-” He floundered for words, trying to think of how to explain clearly that he had more than platonic feelings for Ron, feelings he’d never had for anyone and had honestly thought himself incapable of for a while. And he found the words he’d lost earlier, only now ready to say them, even if he still felt breathless, like he was drowning in the blue of Ron’s eyes.
“I mean, I want to kiss you, Ron.” It was a murmur, a rasped whisper, but the words rang clear in Ron’s ears, Harry catching the fiery blush starting at their tips just before Ron leaned his face into Harry’s, eyes fluttering shut as their lips met in a deep kiss.
Harry wasn’t sure how long they’d stayed out there doing just that, but one moment the sun was a golden glint on the horizon and the next it seemed the forest was only a few greys short of pitch, and he and Ron finally figured they should find their wands and cloak and broom before it got too dark out and they missed the feast. Their things collected, they strode towards the castle bumping arm against arm.
Ron flashed that Ron Weasly smile at Harry, and his heart fluttered, cheeks flushing in the dim light from the giant jack o'lanterns. “What?” He asked, lifting a hand to his face as if to check for something stuck there, a leaf or a bug.
“Nothing,” Ron grinned.
Harry’s hand went instinctively to his hair then to push the curls off his face, and he swore in realisation at the mess their little mis-adventure had made of his hair. He was almost surprised to find his hairtie still hanging in there, properly tangled up, and he was less than surprised to find chips of bark and debris from the forest sprinkled in his mussed up hair.
“When were you gonna tell me you prick,” Harry exclaimed, shoving his shoulder against Ron’s arm in a manner far too affectionate to be truly annoyed.
“Never, it’s a good look on you,” Ron grinned, earning another shove from Harry, quickly followed by a grab of his hand, the two boys' fingers intertwining as they made their way up towards the castle, where Harry halted them in front of the glow of a jack o’lantern so he could make sure he didn’t look like he’d just had a tumble in the forest.