Sirius Black's elegant and loose* beauty was something you couldn't ignore, whether you were a boy or an adult, a man or a woman. It was something so intrinsic into his very nature that the Black heir didn't even realize the disturbance he unleashed in the bodies and hearts of those around him, even if he took full advantage of the favors due to his attractiveness.
Sirius Black's charm went far beyond his physical appearance: it shone through in every conversation, gesture and situation. He was the charm of the beautiful and damned, black sheep of one of the oldest and most noble families in the Wizarding World, and that appeal had a dizzying climb in the summer of his fifteen years.
Remus could never forget that day.
The day he realized that the pressing attraction that bound him to Sirius was not the superficial consequence of his being "Sirius Black", but it was rooted in a feeling very different from admiration or friendship.
That was the first day Sirius took a pack of Muggle cigarettes out of his cloak pocket.
And Remus almost had a stroke.
And not just him.
James gave Padfoot a slap on the back of the head, so hard that it almost made him hit the open window of the empty compartment where he had taken refuge after yet another argument with his brother and Snivellus.
Peter remained aside, with wide eyes and slightly trembling: whether out of fear or awe, none of them were sure how to find out.
Sirius, on the other hand, simply looked at them, with that crooked smile that made him look like a satyr or an extremely charming street ruffian. Then, when those lips - which, Remus had never noticed before, were so beautiful - went to wrap the filter of the cigarette, and when the cheeks hollowed out slightly to inhale a breath of thick smoke, in that instant the most thoughtful of the Marauders understood that he was completely screwed.
He could resist Sirius's beauty, he could stoically tolerate the fact that he continued to touch him - just like he touches everyone else, a little voice in his head reminded him - and he could even manage to resist having him lie on top of him when he ended up falling asleep in his bed instead of tottering into his own. But seeing him make love with a cigarette was too much even for him.
With a noise that might have seemed like an annoyed snort, but which hid much more, Remus left the compartment. He was fleeing from that red-light vision that had appeared in front of him, crowding his mind with much more succinct images, deaf to Peter's screams asking him to come back.
He knew he couldn't do it. He knew he wasn't enough to try to approach Sirius like that. He knew that even thinking of being able to have those lips on his skin was simply a utopia.
He ran out like a madman, to the last carriage, coming out onto the balcony, never turning around. The cold Scottish wind ruffled his honey-colored hair.
He did not notice, therefore, the shadow that darkened Sirius's gaze, or James's eyes that raised towards the sky, nor Black's hand hooked on Potter's arm to prevent him from following Moony and trying to talk to him.
About what, after all?
Peter watched them without understanding, wondering the reason for that escape and those looks, watching Sirius take another drag before leaving the compartment to go look for someone to make out with. He laughed, watching him go out to act like a dog in heat, as Remus called him, not noticing the reproachful look in James' eyes.
From that day on, the relationship between Remus and Sirius seemed to crystallize. Even though Pad continued to touch him - even if a little bit less than before, as if he had understood that this was something that upset him too much - and continued to fall asleep in his bed - but he spent fewer and fewer nights in the dormitory and therefore, even their meetings on Moony's bed had inevitably decreased - Remus felt constantly exposed. And seeing him smoke was almost painful. Even more than seeing him surrounded by the school's girls, or hiding in a niche in an empty corridor fucking the lucky guy on duty, or feeling the smell of sex hovering in the air when, late at night, he finally returned to the dormitory.
It was James, one night when everyone were once again stuck in Lupin's now too small bed, who brought up the topic. Inside the drawn curtains, Black's cigarette smoked lazily, suffocating the air and enveloping everything in its impalpable and dense cloak.
"I want to have sex with Evans." He said.
Sirius and Peter snapped their heads towards their friend, while Remus chuckled.
"We know, James."
"No, you don't know!" He pouted. "I can't believe I can't get her out of my head. After all, she has nothing more than the others."
"Aside from charisma," the werewolf began, "intelligence," the mouse continued, "beauty," Sirius grinned, "education..." the owner of the bed continued, listing all those virtues that James had been preaching for months now.
"Oh, stop it!" He snorted, even more sullen. "I have to get her out of my head, because I'm becoming ridiculous around her. So I want to have sex with her." He declared, the holy fire of determination burning in his hazel irises.
"Clear." Sirius nodded, bringing the cigarette back to his lips.
"Simply clear." Remus supported him by nodding contritely.
"Crystal clear." Yawned Peter, who was already bored with the conversation.
"I'm a genius, what can I say?!" He waving his nose in the air.
"And what makes you think that having sex with the girl you love doesn't become making love ?" The werewolf asked, positioning himself more comfortably against the headboard, his amused gaze weighing every expression on his friend's face.
James was filled with indignation at the flaw he had found in his wonderful plan but, strangely, it was Sirius who bailed him out.
"Linking love to sex was one of the creator's most bizarre ideas." He announced with conviction, letting the cigarette filter vanish and moving towards the head of the bed.
"From what kind of pulpit!"** Remus quipped, trying to hide the bitterness in his words.
"Precisely because I have sex regularly I can assure you that associating it with love is something bizarre to say the least." The other stated, putting a long lock behind his ear and then wedging one leg under those of the werewolf and the other between Peter and James, stretching lazily. "I respect and admire you much more than all those I've had sex with put together."
For an instant Remus' salivation went to zero, because the other's shirt revealed his unzipped trousers and his navel set between marvelous sculpted abs. He bit his lip to hold back a dissatisfied moan and took a deep breath. Then he glanced at the others.
James had a raised eyebrow as he made the conclusion of his friend's speech: "but you would never have sex with us. I'm almost moved!" He giggled, kicking him and almost making Peter fall off the bed.
Remus picked the rat up quickly, his pale face hidden by the dim light of the canopy's atmosphere, and a forced laugh on his lips to echo that of the others.
Sirius's arms wrapped around his waist, now that Peter was safe, and his face was wedged in his honey-colored hair. "You are the closest thing to a family I have." He said, speaking into Remus' neck, pulling him on himself and starting to play with the buttons of his shirt. "I have no intention of sullying you with sex."
"That's exactly what I said!" James exulted, stretching out to give a high five to his friend. "If I fuck Evans I'll dirty her up and therefore I'll put her out of my head forever."***
Peter chuckled, now one step away from collapse, as it was well past midnight and James gave him a push that made him collapse sprawled across the werewolf's legs.
"Are you even vaguely aware that what you're saying doesn't make sense?" The owner of the bed asked him, shaking his head, unable to move a single centimeter from the combined assault.
"Because you're a guru when it comes to sex, aren't you Moony?" Chuckled James, slinging himself on top of Padfoot and Wormtail.
"No, you idiot." He hissed trying to avoid the arm that had joined Sirius's across his belly. "But I know that being in love with someone also means wanting that someone's hands on your body. Platonic relationships are the biggest bullshit in the universe."
"Moony, are you in love?" Sirius asked directly in his ear, his arms a little tighter around Remus' chest.
The werewolf turned his head away. "Would that be a problem?"
"You never tell us anything." James barked, hoisting himself onto the two still-awake Marauders, while Peter was sound asleep.
Remus tried to free himself but Peter and Sirius had him pinned down. And now James had managed to pin his wrist.
"Well, if I don't tell you anything then I don't have to listen to such nonsense." He hissed, trying to be sharp.
The Marauder in front of him widened his eyes at the pain inherent in those gold-colored irises, while the one behind him rested his forehead on his shoulder blade, inhaling deeply before asking. "And have you already asked them out?"
"No, and I don't think I will." He said as James left him and returned to crouch at the foot of the bed, trying to retrieve his wand in that chaos of blankets and sheets.
Sirius' chin slipped back into his neck and his lips brushed his ear. "You just said platonic relationships are bullshit." He pointed out, as James finally found his weapon and tried to find a way to leave.
Remus tried to get Sirius off of him, shrugging his shoulders. "I know with absolute certainty that whoever I want has no interest in having sex with me."
But he said it with such sweetness that none of them felt sorry for him.
Pad reached out to caress his face. "Only a madman wouldn't want to have sex with you." He claims with conviction, sliding a finger on the face disfigured by the wolf.
The golden eyes locked on the hazel ones of James who looked at him with a clenched jaw and the desire to scream.
"Precisely." He just retorted, tired of all the feelings harnessed in his body, his cheeks tinged bright red and embarrassed beyond words.
James saw Sirius' eyes widen, as if struck by the news, and looked around, looking for an escape route.
Sirius' hands remained clasped in the fabric of Remus' shirt, as if he were his anchor still in the storm, while James' eyes bounced from one to the other. "Guys, it's late," he whispered softly, not wanting to break a moment that he knew was important, an emotion that overflowed from his two friends and came to envelop him, to move him "I put Peter to bed and go to sleep... tomorrow we have Potions with the Slytherins at first hour..." he argued weakly.
Remus mumbled a "good night" chopped off, finally feeling the blood circulate again on his legs used as a bed by Wormtail.
"Night, Prongs." Sirius greeted, almost voiceless.
James looked at the two still embracing, in that strange way. With Remus looking at the stitching of the quilt, red in the face, and Sirius with his face resting on the werewolf's shoulder and his gray eyes wide in the darkness.
"Sirius!" Peter called out to him during lunch break. Remus was sitting on the ladder leading to the gatekeeper's hut, James was playing with the snitch.
The Marauder arrived, cigarette between his lips.
Wormtail clung to the Black arm. "Will you let me give it a try?"
"You're sure?" He asked, passing him the cigarette and moving to sit next to Remus. James snorted in amusement as he watched the other inhale and start coughing so much it brought tears to the eyes of the other three.
"But how can you smoke something like that?" He spat, returning the cigarette to its owner who, with an arm around the werewolf's shoulders, was hiding the tears of laughter in his honey-colored hair. "And you stop laughing! I'd like to see you with smoke in your lungs!"
"Moony doesn't mind..." Sirius asserted, taking another drag. Then he turned towards the boy and joined his plump lips to the slightly chapped ones.
Remus's eyes closed and his neck leaned back savoring, red-faced, the nicotine-flavored kiss.
The snitch flew away, while James remained stunned watching the two eat each other's mouths and Peter's eyes were so wide that they had become two round balls.
When they separated, Remus puffed out a breath of smoke, without choking and Sirius turned to Prongs. "Whoever linked sex to love was a bloody genius, believe me!"