Bright, colorful lights blinded Lily as she made her way through the crowded common room. Ravenclaw had won against Slytherin, throwing a celebratory party as the winning house always does. Lily had not wanted to leave her dorm, dreading the idea of running into Severus after their fight last night in the library. They fight an awful lot these days. The music and the drinks and all the arms bumping into her were all driving her insane, but the lights made it so hard to see and she just couldn’t remember which direction the door was. Eventually she reached a wall, but still no door. She sighs and accepts defeat, slumping against the cool stone and trying to hold back the tears in her eyes.
She shouldn’t have let Marlene drag her over here. She should have stayed in bed and complained to Mary about everything Sev said that pissed her off. And then eventually snap at her when Mary suggests that maybe it's time to “let Severus go.” She takes three deep breaths, trying to collect herself.
“Uhm, are you alright?” Lily opens her watery eyes to see Remus Lupin standing by the wall as well. She hadn’t even noticed him before, but it’s clear he’s been standing here much longer than she has. They weren’t particularly close, but she tolerated him more than his friends due to the projects they’re frequently paired up for.
“I’m fine, sorry. I didn’t mean to crowd your wall.” Lily says sheepishly.
Now that she’s had to speak out loud it’s even harder to hold her tears back. Remus is quiet for a minute, his eyes scanning over the sea of students celebrating. “D’you want to leave?” Remus nearly has to shout over the music blasting from god knows where. Lily can’t tell if the choked sob that escapes her could be passed off as a scoff or not. “I don’t know how! I’ve been trying for ages.” This causes Remus to laugh, which should probably insult Lily. But the way Remus laughs doesn’t feel mocking, it feels warm. It kind of reminds Lily of her mother, which honestly made her want to cry even more.
Remus puts a comforting hand on her shoulder and leads her through the crowd. He’s much taller than Lily is, so it's much less overwhelming as people actually make an effort to get out of their way. Miraculously, Remus leads her right to the door that will grant her freedom from this hellish party.
When the door opens she immediately relaxes. Taking a deep breath now that she could smell something other than sweat and liquor. “I fucking hate parties,” Lily says after the door shuts behind them. “I don’t know why I keep trying to make myself enjoy them.” Remus hums in agreement. “You seemed to enjoy that Gryffiindor party last month.” He takes a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it with his wand as they make their way further down the hallway. Lily wasn’t much of a smoker, she had on occasion but never liked the taste it left behind. She could probably get over it, but had enough common sense to see that wasn’t the brightest idea. “But that party was just Gryffindors, that’s different. Feels more like being with family.” Remus stares down the hallway ahead of them, thoughtful. “What’s your family like?” Suddenly, Lily felt sad again. “Pretty decent as far as family goes. My sister has grown to be quite… I don’t know. I don’t think she likes me much anymore.” She sighs, recalling the last time they spoke. Petunia doesn’t even care to say goodbye to her at the end of summer anymore.
“What about yours?” Lily looks over at Remus who keeps his gaze on his feet. She never pays much attention to his scars, but she can’t deny her curiosity about their origin. “My father is-” He hesitates. “..there.” He shrugs. “My mum and I are close, though. And my baby sister too, she writes me letters. Makes me hate leaving for school.” Lily tries to imagine Remus with a little sister, but the news surprises her. “You have a little sister? I always pictured you as an only child.” He pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to her.
She unfolds it to see a child’s drawing; a figure who is clearly supposed to be Remus is standing next to a little girl, the sun shining between them. There’s a signature written in big cursive letters, Emma-lane. “You must be a good big brother, kids don’t give just anybody drawings like these.” Lily folds the drawing carefully and hands it back to him. He tucks it away and stubs out his cigarette on the wall. “She’s pretty much the only thing that doesn’t make me dread summer break. I love my mum, but Hogwarts is where I feel at home.”
They let the silence hang comfortably between them, enjoying each other's presence. Lily understands what he means. She loves being at home and around her family, but after you’ve experienced Hogwarts it’s weird to be around people who haven’t. The school is so remarkable that Lily doesn’t believe she’ll ever be able to properly describe it to another person.
Soon, The duo are making their way up the staircases to Gryffindor. Lily is relieved to see the portrait, knowing her bed is almost within reach. However, she also feels disappointed that her conversation with Remus will be coming to an end. They come out of the other side of the portrait, the common room is empty and Lily’s eyes lock on the stairs leading to her dorm. As much as she wants to keep talking to Remus, she wants to sleep more.
“Goodnight, Lily. It was nice talking to you.” Remus smiles at her and starts walking toward his own dorm. “Night, Remus. You too.” She watches as he walks away. “We should hang out sometime! Like, actually hang out. Not just studying.” She calls out at the last second. Lily has a lot of acquaintances, but not many friends. She decides it's time she fixes that. Remus turns around to face her again. “I’d like that.” He gives her a toothy grin, which is a bit jarring because Lily has never seen him smile that wide before. Perhaps it was something he saved for his friends, she grins just as wide in reply and quickly makes her way up to her room, chuckling to herself as she realizes that just getting to leave that miserable party made going in the first place worth it.