Same Coin

He woke up in the dark, the blaring Tempus alarm screeching in his ear. With a groan, Teddy threw one limp arm over his eyes, the other onto the nightstand to rifle for his wand.  His fingers grasped it, yet not before knocking every other item from his nightstand. Great, nothing he loves more than bending down and picking up at least twenty knick-knacks from the floor in the early morning, wondering why he keeps this shit on the nightstand in any case, only to place it right back. With a flick of his wrist, the alarm stopped blaring, and the curtain flew open, revealing a still way too dark London sky, for his taste to get up to. But oh well, waking up at ungodly hours just comes with the whole being a respectable working adult. 

Teddy passed his Auror training three months ago, after four and a half years of constant studying and training his ass off, he could not be happier. The sentence the examiner said to him while signing his report card still rings in his ear. Well done, Mr. Lupin, your mother would be so proud to have you as her son. And then of course this was followed up by an Even though she only took three years for her training and had way better marks, top marks even in her Concealment and Disguise course . But Teddy decided to focus only on the first part of this statement, after all, that was why he decided to become an Auror. That and that glimmer he saw in Harry’s eyes when Harry asked him at the age of fifteen what he wanted to do once he graduated from Hogwarts, to which Teddy said he wanted to become an Auror. Teddy, back then, didn’t have a single clue what he wanted to do with his life and just blurted out the first job he could think of. Harry’s eyes could have spoken to him saying as much as, that’s my boy, at that moment. After that it was a done deal, Teddy Lupin would become an Auror, no matter the cost. 

He ripped away the blanket, the cold morning air hitting him full-on, causing him to contemplate just rolling over and calling in sick. The thing is, Teddy knew if he did something like that he would feel bad for the lie that after thirty minutes he would go to work either way and then because of those thirty minutes arrive late, something he does not think he can allow himself just yet with only three months under his belt, maybe give it another three months then he can reevaluate swanning in late into the DMLE. 

Swinging his legs off the bed, feet making contact with the even colder floor, he decided to just sit there for a moment until he was fully awake. A streetlamp on the other side of the road on which his flat was located, threw in a yellowish-orange light on the wall, now and then the room would be further illuminated by a muggle car driving by. Those poor bastards sat in the same boat as him. Who was the first person who wanted their employees to come in earlier, that was by far the most inhuman idea ever. Teddy hoped that that asshole was fully aware of his assholery. He watched the silhouette of his body in front of the window thrown onto the wall, he knew that was him, but would other people know from just a silhouette without any other features that that is Teddy? In Hogwarts, he already had to learn that changing his features too much leads to people not being able to realize that Teddy was in the room. Starting as an Auror he was told that maybe he should stick to one appearance while in the office. 

Flicking through different hair colours, changing them to the most outrageous ones he could think of, and settling on his favourite blue, Teddy watched how his shadow was not changing. Just to make sure he was still watching his silhouette, he lifted his left hand and folded his fingers in a way that a little head of a dog appeared on the wall. He let the shadow puppet bark a few times. Teddy chuckled, a small smile tugging on his lips. Harry was the one who showed him that little trick. 

Teddy was four and was allowed to sleep over at his godfather’s for the first time. That night a terrible storm was causing havoc outside, or maybe it was just raining, but for four-year-old Teddy, it would have been equivalent to the apocalypse. He remembered crying his little eyes out, feeling so far from home, lost, and then all of a sudden Harry had him in his arms and used the star-shaped night light to tell a story, throwing the shadow dog onto the wall. Teddy now sees that twenty-two-year-old Harry was just so out of his depth with a toddler, that distracting him until he falls asleep was the only solution. That does not change the fact that the dog helped Teddy through a lot of shit times. Casting Lumos while lying in bed with the curtains closed, back in his dorms at Hogwarts, to project the dog onto the yellow curtains, so he could smile and clear his mind for a short time. 

Okay, that was enough reminiscing. Teddy pushed himself off of his bed, definitely stepping on something from his nightstand while waddling over to his bathroom. Switching on the light caused a face to appear in the bathroom mirror, his face apparently or rather how he left it before going to bed, plus of course the now blue hair. With a sigh, he ripped the toothbrush from its stand, brushed his teeth, avoiding any further glances from the person in the mirror. A quick hop in the shower and he would meet the mirror for its daily responsibility, aiding him in looking like a credible and esteemed member of the DMLE , not his words.

In the bottom left-hand corner of the mirror, he had two photographs of each of his parents. His grandmother gave him the photo of his Ma and Harry, the one of his Pa. Both were younger in the photos than they were when they knew each other. His Ma, in her photo, was wearing her Auror uniform for the first time, Andromeda had said. His grandmother always told him, after he locked in Auror as his future, that once he graduated Hogwarts and started his training they should recreate this photo with his first uniform. They never got to do so. Teddy watched while his mother was trying to stand still, while someone behind the camera most probably gave her instructions on how to pose. She followed the poses, always making them a bit more over the top than they had to be, a smile growing larger and larger on her face until she couldn’t contain herself and let out a bark of laughter, which was silent to Teddy’s ears, always silent. Then the loop replayed.

Harry found the photo of Teddy’s father in Grimmauld Place alongside photos of his own father in a shoebox under Sirius Black's childhood bed. In the photo, he could see seventeen-year-old Remus hunching over a book in the library of Hogwarts. His brow creased, eyes flicking from line to line, his lips slightly moving, looking so captured by this book until someone behind the camera managed to grab his attention. His Pa looks up, slightly confused, only to recognize the person behind the camera, giving them a little smirk and a playful swipe for the camera. He would have loved asking his Pa what he was reading in the photo, wondering what could drive him to such concentration, always wondering. Then the loop replayed.

Teddy studied the photos for just a bit longer before turning his gaze back to himself. It was time to say goodbye to his blue hair and instead adopt young Remus’ honey brown curls and his nose. Remus’ nose was always a bit tricky since it was clearly broken at some point, with a white scar lying across it. Teddy never copied the scars of his father, they were not his to carry, nor to claim that he was able to survive a suffering that great. The problem is, Teddy’s nose never looks like it did the day before, the differences are so minor that most probably no one else can see it, but Teddy knows they are there and he hates it. These minor differences lead to him never looking enough like his Pa. Like a little ritual every morning, Teddy had to try out the mustache his Pa was rocking in his later years. In his opinion no one could have pulled off that abhorrent thing, he would have loved teasing his old man about it like any good son would do.

The eyes and lips he took from Nymphadora, the grey, nearly blue, eyes were a signature Black trait, he was fully aware of that but the people around him only ever saw the ones they loved in them. When he was six, he wore his Ma’s lips for the first time. There was this picture of her in the living room, he could stare at it for hours. He was always mesmerized by her smile, so he tried it out and went on his way. Later, once he forgot all about how he looked, his grandmother just walked by his room to check on him, and he naturally smiled up at her. That was the first time he saw his grandmother cry, she just froze, tears sprang to her eyes, she thanked Teddy and then scurried away. Last year, in a rare moment of clarity Andromeda was experiencing, Teddy asked her what she was thanking him for at that moment. She placed a hand at the side of his face, stroked his cheek with her thumb, and barely whispered Her smile . 

He gave the mirror this small smile before moving back to his bedroom to dress for the day and go on his way. Closing his front door behind himself, Teddy took a moment to just breathe in, the sensation the fresh morning air was able to conjure up, nearly made it worth getting up this early. He made his way along the streets, avoiding suspicious puddles left behind by those who went out partying last night, the orange glow of the street lamps guiding his way. 

The next Floo allowing entrance to the ministry, as far as he was aware, was a 20-minute walk away from his flat. It was in a little wizard-owned pub, The Singing Toad, opening its doors to all ministry employees in the wee hours of the morning, who couldn’t get their hands on the floo network in their own homes. He could have always apparated to the pub, but after trying that once and landing among the garbage cans behind the establishment, his lanky limbs lost among the remains of a weekend of London pubs. Having to knock on the backdoor of The Singing Toad, then be escorted through the kitchen to the Floo while the owner, a grumpy short old wizard, threw exasperated scoffs over his shoulder towards Teddy wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was smelling like greasy old pub food for a whole day, and no amount of cleaning spells seemed to be a remedy. At least three people who shared the lift with him that day, left it at the wrong levels only to escape the stench.  

During these daily-20-minute-morning-walks, Teddy's mind usually goes haywire, thinking about random shit, jumping from topic to topic with no common thread connecting anything. Later he has trouble remembering a single thing he thought of, just knowing his mind was reeling and doing its thing like usual. This morning was no exception. He found himself standing in front of The Singing Toad being pulled out of his daze, walking through the door to the floo, and in a jiffy finding himself standing in The Atrium, dark wood glistening with the green flashes coming from the endless row of fireplaces. 

The Atrium was incredibly busy this Monday morning. Countless shoulders clad in the finest, monotonous office robes were bumping against each other in the sea of moody witches and wizards.  Lost in the herd of Ministry employees,  all rushing towards the lifts, Teddy just let himself be ripped away with the tide, having learned that eventually he will be cramped into one of the lifts naturally. Being at least a head taller than most, he always rather felt like driftwood floating above water which was grey and made of uncomfortable clothing.

The lift came to a halt, a number two lid up above the lift door before it slid open. He had to squeeze past several people, muttering “Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Sorry”, left and right while stepping very tactfully on every foot in the lift while trying to get out of it. Stumbling out of the lift into the DMLE nearly making contact with the freshly polished tiled floor, were it not for a sudden strong hand clasping down on his shoulder and steadying him. 

“And once again I have arrived before you, Lupin.”

“And once again I'm not paying for lunch, only because you forced me into a bet I will never be able to win, Briggs”

“June suggested a ‘Teddy came late (again) jar’, you just plop a galleon in there for every time I have to stand around waiting for your sorry ass to grace everyone else with your presence. Maybe that’s a solution?”

“And do tell, what are you and your wife planning to do with, let's face it, five galleons a week, mmh?”

Holding in their laughter was pointless.

Teddy and Appius Briggs went through the Auror training together, bonding over sleepless nights and the best tips for avoiding pulling out one's hair because of stress. Teddy was Appius’ best man at his wedding to June. They spend nearly every moment together during training, becoming inseparable and insufferable nineteen-year-olds. Nowadays, no longer nineteen, they sometimes, yet not enough for either of their tastes, get paired up to solve a case here and there together. An Auror is only allowed to pick their partners for cases themselves once they have completed three years at the DMLE, which Teddy finds completely absurd, he already knows that Appius and him are an incredibly good team. So for the time being, they act like school children being assigned a new seat order whenever a new case is being announced for one of them. Instantly meeting each other’s eyes having hopeful looks that the other might also be assigned to the case, only for some random Auror ‘stealing’ away their case, to which they both let out an audible sigh and nearly always receive either an affronted or just an irritated look from their new case partner. 

Teddy regrets never really interacting with Appius back at Hogwarts, they could have been great friends from the beginning, but it was rare that a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin were seen to be close. The other houses (mainly Slytherins) often threw around Hufflepuff-centric insults, half of them didn’t even make a lick of sense, but that didn’t change the fact that Teddy was quite hurt by them in the beginning. In his first week at Hogwarts, Teddy wrote a letter to Harry, trying to avoid crying directly onto the parchment, asking why everyone at this school was just incredibly rude and hated him for a decision a stupid old hat made. Harry simply replied, That’s because Gryffindor is the best house . As a response Teddy wrote at least twenty letters, starting off with accusing Harry of having no idea what he is talking about, most probably because he is a Gryffindor, then going over how Teddy will make sure that James will be a Hufflepuff once he is old enough, to just sending a list of names of great wizards and witches that were in Hufflepuff (obviously including his Ma and his grandfather), to a four-page essay why he is proud to be a Hufflepuff. 

Funnily enough, after a week of bombarding Harry with essentially hate mail, it was thanks to Appius, that Teddy was able to see the reason behind Harry’s statement. Teddy was on his way up the owlery, to send another letter outlining why the Hufflepuff common room has the best location in the castle and how lucky he was being in Hufflepuff. When Appius was walking down the stairs making sure that he would bump into Teddy and spit an “I didn’t know they were teaching Hufflepuffs how to write letters” at him. 

Teddy’s response came out of nowhere while he just carried on walking, “Aaw, don’t get too excited I don’t write love letters to Slytherins.” A week ago Appius' comment would have led to a nice little sob session in his bed, but right there it clicked all into place, Teddy was incredibly proud of who he was. He decided not to send the last letter but rather send a note with one sentence, I get it now, thank you, Harry . A day later a normal letter arrived from the Potters, congratulating Teddy for his sorting and wishing him a lovely first year. 

On one Saturday evening, a month before Appius’ wedding, after a horrendous week in their third year of training, Appius and Teddy shared a joint in their dorm while lying on the floor, Teddy told him about his first weeks at Hogwarts and his involvement in Teddy’s Hufflepuff pride. Appius tried to hide behind his hands, just simply groaning.

“Oh no, I was such a little shit.” Teddy pried away Appius’ hands from his face, laughing. 

“Nah, so was I, don’t worry.” 

They laughed and laughed until it suddenly died down and Appius, barely audibly, whispered, “What if I want you to write me a love letter now, would you do it?”

“No. June.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot. ”

Maybe Teddy is a bad friend but he never brought up this conversation ever again, and just blamed it on the weed.

“By the way, I got the Strongwood case.” Appius was poking Teddy in his side, while they were both walking to Teddy’s desk. Naturally, their desks were across the office, so most of the time one of them just spent their working hours at the desk of the other, if not caught.

“No way! The last four Aurors working on this case deemed it unsolvable and just gave up. Do you even have any leads yet?”

“No nothing, but I have this feeling that Alexander Strongwood was killed with a … wait for it … potato peeler.” Appius made a little show of this and looked way too proud of what he cooked up in his mind, Teddy could only blink at him, speechless. “Well you are looking at me very weirdly now, but imagine what face you will have to pull once I can say, I told you so. Anyway, what’s on your agenda today, maybe if you’re lucky we can do some research on peelers together.” Appius wiggled his eyebrows and swiped up Teddy’s new case file, which must have been delivered to his desk before he arrived at the office. He gave it a quick scan, something he wasn't actually allowed to do, gave Teddy a pitying look, and handed him the file. 

“Is it that bad?”

“It’s not bad per se, just a bit uneventful.”

Teddy read his assignment out loud, “Euphemia Rowle has not attended her mandatory visits at the Ministry this month. No valid excuse has been handed in for her absence.

Assignment:

• Visit subject’s residency 
• Question subject about her absence
• Make subject aware of the fine (1 200 galleons) after a third missed visit

If necessary/ subject is resisting:

• Search premises 
• Detaine subject”

Teddy pouted at Appius, “I would rather want the potato peeler case.” Appius just clicked his tongue, padded Teddy on the shoulder, and walked away. 

After Appius disappeared behind several cubicles, two letters arrived for Teddy. In the Ministry letters get distributed as enchanted paper planes. They used to use owls like the normal post, but the amount of paperwork they lost through the owls' bathroom breaks wasn't worth it. One was from Head Auror Potter of the DMLE and the other was from Head Nurse O’Shiel of the St. Mungo’s Hospital.