It’s when the sun crashes low on the dead leaves, the wind blows between the branches and the cold begins to creep into the alcoves, warm nostalgia takes over. It arrives slowly, between the icy hands and the hollow forming between the clothes and the shivering skin. We miss summer, and summer misses us. The carefree summer leaves us, and routine sets in. We see the friends we missed all season, we bundle up in warmer clothes and we watch the weather deteriorate through the window. Autumn is setting in, and its comforting warmth is replacing the stifling heat of last summer.
Remus was there, in his chair, a book hanging at hand, his eyes were staring never quite enough the pages to read. He's distracted by the ambient noise, Sirius could tell. His steaming cup was cooling without being consumed, his tense back was in a strange position to listen to James and Lily's conversation, his leg continually scraped the coffee table in a barely controlled movement. He was like that sometimes, Remus. Distracted, agitated, twisted, but always discreet enough that few notice him. But Sirius noticed. He does and probably always will.
The room empties as the evening goes on, Lily and James end up leaving the room. Soon, only Remus and Sirius remain. The comforting sound of the clock surrounds them. Remus still isn't holding his book correctly. He waits. The half-full moon rises in the sky and the fire dwindles in the fireplace. The coolness of the night gives Sirius a shiver. He has always been the coldest, having only skin and bones to keep him warm. He is eager for warmth, he is always cold.
Remus moves. Sirius, for a moment, thinks he's going to go up to the dormitory to go to bed. But he approaches and drops into the chair occupied by Sirius. And even though he's tall, their shoulders rub together and Remus' warmth radiates to Sirius' side.
“You didn’t say anything tonight.” A simple affirmation, in a low, broken voice. Sirius nods. He is tired of the day, and of the autumn that is beginning. He doesn't need to say it, Remus knows.
Gently, he places his head on the other's shoulder, gently grabs his arm, and begins to make imaginary drawings in the hollows of his exposed elbow. Sirius sigh and relaxes against Remus. "You know, you don't have to do that. You're the one who deserves to be pampered." Remus laughs and releases his arm to put Sirius' ankles on his thighs. Without paying attention, he gently massages the white skin, occasionally pulling out a few hairs before forming gentle circles. The answer is mocking : "You deserve to be pampered, Padfoot. How do you plan to seduce someone if you look like a wandering soul?"
Sirius frees one of his legs and gently kicks Remus' hip with his foot. “C’mon Rem’, I can seduce whoever I want.” His friend's brown eyes fall on him.
Sirius would really like being able to seduce whoever he wants.
It's still dark, classes don't start for a good two hours, and yet Sirius is there, shivering. The rain is beating on the windows and a cold draft is blowing in since James and Peter broke one of the windows in their dormitory. He hates autumn and bad weather. He hates the mornings even more when his sheets seem cold around him.
He's been tossing and turning in his bed for ages, craving warmth and sleep. One of those nights where sleep doesn't come, and the cold is so present that it slides against the old scars on his back.
Dawn is slowly rising when a noise is heard in the room. Bones creaking, probably a hip or knee snapping back into place properly, and Remus walks past Sirius' bed to go to the bathroom. Water flows and a few minutes later, he comes out, his hair wet against the back of his neck. Sirius allows himself a moment to observe him, until Remus looks at him too.
A thin smile appears on his lips, the other responds. Remus quickly murmurs something that Sirius doesn't understand, until a gentle warmth spreads through his sheets. Remus did that thing again, casting a spell to warm him up. A special affection rises in Sirius's chest, and he thanks his friend in a whisper.
The astronomy tower is always a challenge. You have to climb a hundred stairs (and be hot when you get to the top) while fighting the cold breath that seeps between the stones and the windows (and have your hands frozen when you get to the top). Sirius hated sweat, which he didn't know if it came from a heatstroke or a cold spell, which dripped and soaked his shirt (which would make him even colder for the rest of the day).
This day was no exception. James had probably already reached the classroom for five minutes (because this idiot was running up and down the stairs to beat his new record every time (one minute fifty-four, last Sirius checked)) when Sirius arrived at the top of the stairs. He was already cold from the lesson that took place in the greenhouse. But now ? His hands were white from the cold, and his hair damp from the effort.
He was about to enter the room when Remus and Peter came running (Remus was taking long strides and Peter was trying to keep up), and they all quickly settled into the room covered with cushions and light fabrics.
As class began and Sirius lazed taking his notes, Remus patted his thigh very lightly. When Sirius turned towards him, Remus handed him a sweater without looking at him too much, his cheeks slightly pink under his tanned complexion.
Hastily, Sirius takes the sweater and puts it on, and he swears that when the scent of Remus hits him, his heart skips a beat.
Sirius is snuggled up in a warm blanket by the fire when it's time to leave for his detention. He has to clean part of the dungeons with James and Peter. Obviously, Remus managed to get away with it by not getting caught.
It is with difficulty that Sirius leaves the cocoon of warmth formed by the thick fabric on him, and a violent shiver runs through him when his feet touch the cold ground. He definitely hates the cold. When he leaves the common room, he meets Remus with two cups in his hands.
“I was looking for you Siri.” Without adding more, Remus gives him a cup. Black coffee. He smiles at her and quickly disappears into the room.
The cup warms Sirius' icy hands, but also his heart. As he drinks it, he decides that it is the best coffee he has ever had in his life.
Sirius hates full moons at least as much as Remus. He knows they are painful, terrible. He hates that Remus has to go through this, so he tries to make things easier for him before, during and after them: the week before the full moon, he makes sure that Remus has enough cushion in his bed for his aching back; the day before, he prepares hot chocolate as soon as possible and he tries to maintain a calm environment (even if it means glaring at the noisy first years) so that Remus can rest; that same night, he accompanies Remus as best he can in his transformation and tries to distract the wolf's attention when he tries to harm himself; the next morning, he covers Remus' weak body with warm sheets before the nurse arrives; the following days, he gently massages his shoulders or ankles, and places random chocolates among his things so that he can eat them throughout the day. Sirius does that, almost unconsciously, since he knows that Remus suffers every month. He can't rid Remus of this suffering, so he tries to help him as much as possible.
This day follows one of the full moons, but it is also Sirius' birthday party. He did not want to impose such a thing on Remus after a night of transformation, but James, Remus and Peter had thrown the party without consulting his opinion.
So there he was, drink in hand, talking happily to the girls who were trying to mess up his hair while laughing, all the while keeping an eye on Remus for any signs of fatigue. By turning his attention to Remus, he catches his eyes several times, giving him shy glances from afar. Sirius is sure to blush once or twice.
His attention is diverted when his favorite David Bowie music begins. As he tries to join James in singing and dancing with him, he sees Remus heading towards the stairs leading to the dormitory. Immediately worried, Sirius turns away from his initial task to join him.
As you stumble across the road
As he walks up the stairs, Sirius grabs his hand and when Remus turns around, he takes one step up to be at his level.
But the day breaks instead, so you hurry home
“Are you feeling bad?” Sirius' voice seems distant as he stares at Remus, searching for any sign of pain, discomfort, or fatigue.
Don't let the sun blast your shadow
“No, everything is fine good sirius.” Remus looks at him strangely, too intensely.
Don't let the milk float ride your mind
Sirius feels like something inside him is stopping as he feels, more than ever, Remus's skin beneath his fingers, the blood beating in his and Remus's veins, and his breath hitching.
They're so natural, religiously unkind
“I was going up to get you something to tie your hair.” The sentence Remus says seems out of this world. Sirius can't make sense of it.
Oh no, love, you're not alone
Sirius feels something blooming deep in his ribcage, he has difficulty keeping up with the frantic rhythm of his heart.
You're watching yourself, but you're too unfair
Sirius takes another step, closer to Remus than ever. He now feels the heat radiating from him.
You got your head all tangled up
It could melt into him. “Remus.” It's just a whisper.
But if I could only make you care
Hands grip his waist, pulling him as Remus's lips crash onto his. Sirius feels alive again as dense heat explodes in his chest.