I greeted our owl as she perched on the windowsill, her white feathers fluffing up as James handed her some treats.
“You’ve brought a letter Hedwig.” I scratched under her beak.
“Mail?” Sirius asked as he walked into the lounge.
“From Harry, yes.” I waved the parchment for my brother to see.
“Fun.” Sirius adjusted his hold on his newborn who slept against his shoulder.
“How’s he doing?” I felt my husband James drape his arms around me.
“Teddy is good, very sleepy from playing earlier.” Sirius sat on the couch and started to rub baby Teddy’s back.
I joined James on an armchair and opened the parchment.
I began to read aloud.
‘Dads,
Today I got four detentions for speaking out of line in class. Uncle Moony said I had to write to you to tell you. He also said I should tell you that because of the changes at school with Umbridge in control, things are getting scary.
She hexed me for cuddling with Ron, forced me to write with my own blood, and she’s made Draco and some other Slytherins her personal guard. Draco said he feels like a mindless drone.
The schools become scary dads. Can I please come home?’
The paper had a few spots that looked like my baby had been crying when he wrote this.
James had tensed under me, his hands gripping my hips tightly.
“I think I need to remind this pink bitch who Harry Potter's father is.” I stood up, and calmly grabbed my wand.
“I think you two should go do that.” Sirius tossed James his wand.
“Let me get dressed and we can go.” James squeezed my waist as he walked past me.
I fixed my lapels as James returned moments later in a nice polo, slacks, and loafers.
“Ready.” He announced.
“Hm.” I fixed his shirt a bit. “Sirius, don't burn the house down.”
“I won’t.” He waved us off, tending to his child to deal with the extreme anger he probably felt.
We used the floo and landed directly in Umbridge's office.
I nearly threw up at the sight of the sheer amount of pink this woman owned.
“Merlin’s beard.” James hissed.
“For a Slytherin, this woman clearly doesn’t understand this is too much pink.” I crossed my arms.
“Ah, Mr. Potter and Black.” The woman stepped inside, and I couldn’t help but flinch at how pink she herself was.
“Do you own any other colors?” I bluntly asked.
“Pardon?” She sat at her desk.
“Your office and wardrobe are all bubblegum pink.” I explained.
James slipped his hand on my back and guided me over to putrid pink chairs to sit. I sat, albeit begrudgingly.
“We’d like to summon our son.” James spoke instantly, keeping the calm between us and the creature across from us.
“Your son?” She asked like she didn’t know who the fuck we were.
“Harry Potter.” I curtly remarked.
“Ah, yes, okay.” She grabbed her wand and made a small motion. “Can I please speak to Mr. Potter?”
I hated that squeaky voice she used. I hated everything about this woman.
A few minutes of silence later, not without the fact I’d been drilling holes into her with my eyes, Harry and Remus walked in.
“Dad? Papa?” He asked.
“Please sit.” The wretched woman demanded. Ironically there was nothing pleasing about it.
“Papa?” He asked softer as he sat between us.
“You’re alright my fawn.” I kissed his head.
“You want to discuss his schooling?” Umbridge spoke again.
“No, we want to discuss why he’s been given continuous detentions.” I sat back and crossed my arms.
“Insubordination.”
“Please explain.” I raised my eyebrow.
Clearly this woman didn’t understand the rage of the House of Black.
“He’s been spewing lies about his scar, creating inappropriate displays with his friend, and refusing to obey the instructions provided in class.”
“Alright, let’s start with the instructions.” I felt my son tense next to me. “What is he refusing?”
“Simple instructions.”
“Is that really all?” James asked.
“I’d ask him to put something away and he would, we’d be covering a textbook and he’d refuse to listen.” She huffed.
“Forgot the fact you’d also yell at him for talking in my class and probably others when he had a chance to speak.” Remus huffed.
“Harry, do you want to tell us how you think about this?” I turned to my son.
“She refuses to teach us basic magic, doesn’t even let us have our wands out in class, yells when I make any kind of face, she’s a monster.” Harry huffed.
“You must not tell lies!” She shouted.
“And you must not yell at my son!” I slammed my fist on her desk.
She recoiled at that.
I sighed and relaxed back into my seat.
“What about these inappropriate displays?” I asked next.
“Him and Mr. Weasley have been showing displays of affection in the courtyards, hallways, and classrooms.” She rolled her eyes.
“Harry?” James looked at our son.
“Holding hands, shoulder touching, leaning against each other, cuddling while we sit outside. We don’t kiss in public, neither of us feels comfortable enough to do that.” Harry blushed.
“You’re mad at him for being affectionate with one of his boyfriends?” I addressed the pink monstrosity.
“Boyfriends?” She scoffed.
I took a deep breath.
“And him lying about his scar?” I asked the one question I knew James and I were dreading.
“He keeps telling people that he got it from Voldemort casting a killing curse at him.” She fixed her posture.
“James, Remus, please take Harry outside.” I spoke calmly.
James was already dragging our son to his feet and out of the room.
I heard Remus mutter a prayer before the door clicked closed.
“His mother died the day he got that scar.” I stood, crossing my arms. “Lily, that’s my wife’s name.”
She stared at me, a little confused.
“Voldemort broke into our house. He killed my wife, almost killed my son.” I took a deep breath as the anger boiled over inside of me. “He did get that scar from the killing curse. Lily died protecting him from it. I think you should remember who my son's father is before you accuse him of lying.”
I lifted my shirt sleeve up to show my dark mark.
“Because I know a few ways to make people in power disappear, and if you ever wanna fucking touch him.” I looked around her room. “I’ll make sure you don’t return.”
“Are you threatening me?” She hissed.
“From one Slytherin to another, you know I don’t threaten.” I plucked a small knife from my pocket and slammed it into her desk. “I promise.”
She yelped in shock.
“You’re insane!” She cried.
“No, I’m Regulus fucking Black. I’m the man who killed Voldemort. Struck him down in my own home. If you ever want to cross me, just be aware, I can fucking end you.” I pulled my knife from the wood, causing it to splinter and crack.
“I’ll have you arrested!” She threatened me.
“Try it.” I dared her. “I’d recommend you actually start packing. Merlin knows you’ll be out of a job soon.”
With that I fixed my clothes and slipped from the room.
“Papa?” Harry looked at me with wide eyes.
James and Remus were talking in hushed tones as I approached them.
“You did nothing wrong, fawn.” I kissed his head.
“I’m sorry she upset you.” He hugged me.
“I’m sorry I let her touch you.” I rubbed his head.
“Reg.” James touched my arm slightly.
“Hm?” I met his eyes.
“Harry, can you show papa your hand?” James asked our son softly.
Harry pulled away from me and held up his hand.
‘I must not tell lies’ was etched into his skin.
“James, take Harry back to his dorm. I’m going to fucking Azkaban.” I turned heel and stormed back into her office.
Umbridge startled as I loomed in the doorway.
“You like hurting kids?” I hissed.
“What?” sShe gasped.
“Do you like to hurt kids?” I started to unbutton my vest and slowly peeled it off, hanging it on her coat rack.
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” She scoffed.
“Hm.” I nodded, rolling up my sleeves.
I pulled out my wand and casted a few spells to muffle the room and to lock her inside with me.
“Clearly you’ve forgotten my promise.” I approached her desk. “And that was made before I learned you’d etched words into his skin. Tell me, will they ever heal?”
“He was lying.” She scoffed.
I nodded.
“Alright, so by that logic.” I used a horrible little spell that allowed me to cut up someone’s skin, leaving behind deep gashes in her arms that read ‘liar’.
She screamed as her body ripped itself into each and every word.
“Those won’t heal, a constant reminder that you’re a liar.” I hummed like this was a conversation over morning tea.
“You’re insane!” She cried again.
“Black family madness, sweetheart.” I kicked her chair out from behind the table and watched as she tumbled to the floor.
“You’re not going back to the ministry.” I decided. “Too fun to watch you suffer.”
She tried to scramble to her feet.
“Open that door, and you’ll be somewhere not nice.” I warned, my voice dancing playfully.
“You’ll go to Azkaban!” She threatened again.
“I know.” I smirked.
Fear scorched across her face.
“I’m planning on it.” I took the heel of my loafer and kicked it into her shoulder which caused her to scream again.
“Monster!”
“Yep.” I pulled my knife out and cut up her putrid pink clothes.
“Stop! Stop!” She cried.
“Did Harry tell you to stop?” I asked.
Her eyes glazed over with tears.
“I’m not gonna kill you.” I pouted.
“Thank you.” She gasped when I finally let up.
I walked over to the door and opened it to find a few centaurs behind it along with the forbidden forest.
“Gentlemen, I have a present for you.” I announced.
I heard her backing away from the door.
“Hm?” One of them addressed me.
“That woman there likes to hurt innocent kids.” I crossed my arms. “She hurt my son.”
They all nodded.
“Would you be so kind as to give her a proper punishment? I truly don’t care what, as long as she never forgets it.” I stepped out of the way as two of the bigger men stepped into the office.
“So much pink.” One muttered.
“So many cats.” The other one hissed.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to destroy them.” I promised.
They lifted her up off her feat.
“Pretty damaged.” The first one addressed me.
“She hurt my son.” I slipped my knife into my pocket.
“You didn’t do more?” The second asked.
“Check her arms.”
They did and a few chuckles rose from the two centaurs.
“Have fun.” I waved as she screamed.
“Tell them I’m innocent! Tell them I’m good!” She cried.
“Sorry, but as you marked on my son's hand, I must not tell lies.” I winked and closed the door as she let out a wail.
I reversed my charms on the room and exited back into the hallway.
“Papa?” Harry asked again.
“She’s not gonna be here anymore. Had some family matters to attend to.” I rolled my sleeves down.
“Thank Merlin.” Remus grunted.
“Yes, well, we Blacks know how to be quite good with certain people.” I shrugged.
“Did you hurt her?” Harry asked.
“Don’t you worry about that, my fawn. Now, I thought I told your dad to take you to the dorms.” I raised an eyebrow at James.
“He’s gonna come home with us tonight.” James rubbed the back of his neck.
“Potter, Black, Lupin?” Mcgonagall called out as she approached us.
“Had a meeting with that pink nightmare. Turns out she’s no longer employed with the school.” I smiled innocently.
“Thank Merlin, that witch was a wretched little demon.” Minerva sighed.
“Can we take Harry home for the weekend?” James asked.
“Of course.” She smiled at Harry. “I think we can all use a break from school every once in a while.”
“Thanks Minnie.” James smiled.
“You’re welcome. Now get going, too many of you in this hallway worries me.” She waved us off.
“I’ll be headed with them too.” Remus announced.
“Ah yes.” She smiled. “Tell Sirius and your baby Teddy I said hi.”
“I will Minnie.” He grabbed his cane from against a planter and stepped closer to us.
“Hey fawn, want to get some ice cream?” I wrapped my arm around my son.
“Oh! Buttercream?” He asked in delight.
“Sounds wonderful.” I gave him a little squeeze.