Chapter 4
Michael was lonely. Michael was crass and sweet at the same time. He was also sassy and he did what he wanted. He didn’t want to conform for anyone. He was Michael and that was that. His whole entire life all he had were his loving parents who accepted who and how he was. They loved him unconditionally and provided him anything he wished, just if they had the means for it.
All his life he had never felt as if he belonged. He has always felt out of place. He’s only found solace in a few things and felt that being alone was better than most things. He didn’t trust people easily, because people lied and manipulated. They inflicted pain and disappointed. He didn’t want that type of hurt not from strangers. Family was different. His parents were different. He trusted them and relied on them. They would always be there; however, he knew his parents wanted him to have a companion. Someone to be with when they aren’t around.
That’s when Calum found him. Or he found Calum. He is not sure anymore of how they came to be, but one thing is for sure—their friendship feels like it would last a lifetime and more. He’s ever only had one friend— or he’s only ever considered one person to be his friend. And he wants to laugh (or cry) that it was almost a decade ago when he was able to connect with someone so thoroughly that no one else seems to compare. They met in primary school and has been attached at the hip ever since. He wants to laugh and cry because that person was no longer around. They were best friends for SIX years before his family uprooted and left for a new world, while Michael was stuck here. He loved Australia don’t get him wrong. He loved his family a lot too, but without Calum Australia seems a bit more duller and his parents could not be with him all the time. And that’s when he understood his mom and dad’s desperation of him finding someone to connect with. At times, he wishes he never knew the feeling, because the emptiness of losing his best friend hurts.
It’s a bit hilarious when Michael thinks about the past. He remembers when they first met and how much of a weird kid he was. He remembers not giving a flying fck about anyone’s opinion. He remembers his parents constantly being called in for Michael correcting teachers and pushing the other kids to stop them from bullying kids like his best friend. Calum was the fresh-eyed, shy, little kid that stayed away from everybody. He preferred to read books and write in a journal his older sister had given as a birthday present. Oh, how the tables had turned.
When they entered high school, everything was different. As years passed, Michael and his family struggled. Apparently, so did Calum’s. They both changed to help their respective families anyway they could. Michael became more withdrawn and got into less trouble as to ease his parents’ minds. Calum focused most of his attention in playing a sport he once loved, but now felt it more as a responsibility. He practiced they in and out, honing his skills to get better just to increase his chances of getting noticed by college scouts.
Ever since Calum left school has been unbearable. Calum was a football star and although he was weirdly quiet and shy everyone respected him for his skill. He was sweet, generous, and kind. He knew when to keep his mouth shut and he was loyal to a fault. He chose to stay with Michael and when the other kids tried to make him do something else, he made sure that Michael was included as well.
Michael wishes that things were different. Michael wishes that everything would just go back to the way it was. He used to talk to Calum when he first moved away two years ago, but— the last time they skyped… Michael said a lot of hurtful things. He had asked how the younger boy was doing and Calum answered positively. He wasn’t suffering like Michael was. Calum was “okay” and that more than anything else so far had hurt Michael. He was hurt that Calum did not feel the same way. It pained him to know that he was doing “okay” while he was here lonely and missing his best friend with all his being. So, he did it. He plastered a smile on his face and lied to his best friend for the first time and told him that he too was “okay.”
He isn’t mad. He thinks he never will ever get mad at his parents and Calum. They were his constant reminders of how beautiful life could be. Minutes spent with them—he will never regret them. Until he did.
He was going through the many, many, many boxes they had in their garage. He wanted to help his mom and dad as much as possible, so he took it upon himself to clean up their garage. He was going through his dad’s work box. He probably looked through every file, but didn’t know what was to be kept or not. He opted to set the box aside so that his dad can sift through it later. Just as he was putting the current folder he was reading back into the box a letter fell out of it. He picked it up and looked at how “official” the letter looked. He chuckled to himself and opened the thing. He read it once. Then twice. And felt anger surge through him.
He doesn’t know why his dad refused, but the fact that they were still here while Calum was thousands of miles away. He had tried to understand, but he was alone and his parents were suffering with a failed business. If they uprooted like the Hoods did… Maybe—maybe everything would have been better. If his dad had accepted— he and Calum would not have been separated, their family would have become stable again, and he too would probably be “okay” just like Calum. He and Calum would still be together and he would not be so alone. He wouldn’t have to carry this pain alone. He knew that is Calum was around he would help carry the load. But they are, they’re not, and he’s not. And he wants to let go of the anger and let the past be the past, but these last few years have been so painful that he couldn’t stop himself from feeling some type of resentment. He doesn’t know what to do, because as always, his first instinct is to go in there guns blazing. He wants to storm inside his house and let his dad have it. But he won’t. At least he doesn’t think so…
The first time he used his “powers”—it felt calling it that, what he meant was—the first time he used his gifts was to say the least a very weird occurrence. It had happened a few days before his best friend had left and he wanted to tell Calum, he did, but things got in the way. What with his parents’ business failing, Calum moving, and he being distraught? When did he have time.
The jumps were sporadic. He would jump a minute or five randomly. It embodied de javu to a whole new level. Then when everything came crashing down it happened more often; however, he was still unable to control it. He wished he could. He would turn it all back to where it all went upside down and he would make it right. He doesn’t want this for his family and he absolutely does not want this for himself. He wants to be back to the good old days. He wishes he could make his gift do what he wanted. Because at the moment it was more like a curse rather than a gift. He doesn’t know what else to call something that made him relive his best friend saying goodbye to him six times other than that.