Summer
Chapter 14
June brought their summer uniforms out, as the weather got warmer and also, their first test week as seniors. As usual, none of the girls in Haruka's group had any difficulties and they all got high scores, with Haruka being the first of the class this time.
The blonde girl was so excited with her grades, she couldn't contain herself. Haruka was gathering attention of her instructors, and the freshmen were looking towards her with deep admiration, and maybe a little jealousy of the young girl assigned to her, Kino Makoto. Michiru was proud of her friend, she was proud of all her friends and how well they were going at school. She knew they worked hard for their results.
As seniors they had more time together doing activities other than just studying. They would have their first photo-shoot of the year, Haruka was especially excited about it, because it would be the first time she did something like that other than school pictures. Not that she minded, she loved her grey uniform, but she also missed being in regular clothes too.
The senior class walked to the photo-shoot location, Kohama Park, a quiet green spot next to the post office. The park was 25 minutes away from the school by foot and the 37 girls walked fast, along with the staff who would be working in the shooting, and two of their instructors. They were all quiet, maybe feeling a little nervous over their first official photo session.
They were wearing their fancy clothes; Haruka opted for dark jeans, a purple buttons down, a grey vest and a black tie. She had applied some light make up and was struggling with her tie while waiting for the photo-shoot to get started. Maybe she was more nervous than she thought. And of course, Haruka felt so stupid for not doing something so easily like tying a bowtie. Why she decided to wear that one? Haruka could just choose a clip-on but no, she had to go with the other one...
"Do you need any assistance?" Michiru quietly whispered to her, watching some of her classmates posing for the first set of photos. The aquamarine girl watched her friend and her battle to get a perfect bow and lose epically. So she decided to help, after all, she had a lot of practice with that; she was the one who did the same thing for her father when he had perfomances.
"This terrible thing is messing with me, it seemed so easy when I tried back on my room," Haruka said, sounding annoyed. The taller girl looked up and let Michiru help tying her knot.
"Have you thought that maybe you are just nervous?" Michiru smirked, she felt so comfortable next to Haruka, more than with any of her other classmates. After their incident on New Year’s they had gotten closer. With all the study, classes, and rehearsals, Michiru barely had time to think about that. With expert hands, she finished with Haruka's bowtie and stood back for a second, to look at her work.
"Nervous? I don't get nervous," Haruka said, smiling, over confident as ever. "I just have to close my eyes and take a deep breath and I'm perfectly calm, able to face anything."
"Easy just like that?" Michiru didn't really believe her. She fixed Haruka's tie, it was a little crooked. "Just close my eyes and I won't be nervous? Ever again?" It was hard to believe Haruka had mastered her own nerves.
"Easy like that." The future otokoyaku flashed her best boyish smile to her friend, feeling a little over confident now that her tie was fixed. Haruka looked over her shoulder and saw that the first group was almost done with their shoot. Did she really take that much time struggling with her outfit? Looking back to Michiru, Haruka felt her breath being taken away. Her friend looked so beautiful in her teal sundress, taking advantage of the weather. The sun had been shining all morning, but it wasn't that hot.
"You look beautiful, Michiru." haruka said, with a gentle smile on her face.
Michiru blinked, feeling a little shy.
"Thank you, you too cleaned really good."
They kept looking at each other, trying to find words to keep a conversation going. Haruka was sure she never saw a girl who looked more beautiful than her aquamarine haired classmate did. Not back home, not during the time she went to regular school, not back in Hakui. Michiru had this classic, elegant beauty, which was not a surprise, since she came from an old family and from what she had seen of the Kaiou, they were all beautiful women. She could see similarities between the Kaiou women she met, but Michiru was just one of a kind.
"Next group, pay attention, you´re up!" Their instructor called them; it was their time to be in front of the camera.
******
They also had to the grand theater as a class, to see for themselves how the whole theater complex worked. And of course, that blew those students minds. Being able to be there, looking at their future and of course, learning how everything worked, it was indeed a great experience.
And they were able to watch a few rehearsals, seeing really close how the Siennes worked. It was almost scary to see them in their natural habitat, looking so fierce during fight scenes, with their well-rehearsed moves. Or seeing how delicate and passionate a look between two lovers can be.
Haruka felt a weird feeling in her heart as she watched a love scene developing before her eyes. Most of the plays she would be performing in the future would be mainly love stories and the idea of imitating love was truly foreign to her. She was 16 years old: she never had someone to be that close, and she had never been kissed before.
Or kissed someone.
The closest she got to feel any romantic feelings was during that awkward New Years Eve Night, at Michiru's apartment. Until that day, Haruka never had really thought about having someone in her life. She was always too focused on her goal, in becoming a Sienne, in making her career successful. As a child, she ever really cared about that and now, as a teenager, she was worried about her future career. Who had time to think about something so unnecessary like love when she was trying to make her best to get in an insanely competitive path?
However, looking at those two women, reciting memorized lines about hardships and declaring their love to each other, made Haruka's heart shed a tear. She spent the past months, since that night, trying to figure out her own feelings about what happened. During that night, when she danced with the most beautiful girl she ever met in her young life. The girl whose heart and soul were so intense, dedicated, and pure.
Since that night, Haruka tried to forget any feelings she thought she had flowing inside her. Tried to murder it implacably. Because she did not have a place for love in her life. Not for a classmate. Not for a future co-worker.
Not for a friend.
"Are you okay?"
A hand in her shoulder and a whisper in her ear startled Haruka; she was so deep in her thoughts that she barely registered someone was talking to her. She turned her head to look at Michiru. Michiru: always so pretty, always so attentive, with her sad and deep blue eyes who could read her like a book. Michiru who always gave her strength to be her very best.
Haruka smiled, closing her eyes for a moment to let a single tear fall through her beautiful face. She nodded, she was fine. She was okay now. Everything would be fine now.
If what Haruka felt that night was her first grasp of love, she was happy. Because her heart couldn't have chosen someone better than Michiru. And Haruka was also sure her summer vacation would give enough time to figure out her feelings towards Michiru.
*******
July came as one of the busiest months the girls had since school started. They had to prepare for the international chorus contest, were they would make a presentation with former Siennes, and Haruka was slightly worried, since she still felt like her voice was her weak point. She had more confidence in her dance, day after day she felt like she was getting better and better as a dancer, not just as the ballerina she was.
And they had a school trip, where they would spend three days and two nights away from school. The idea of the school trip was to bring the class together and to make memories that the girls would cherish forever.
Haruka was so grateful when Michiru came to her rescue, as usual. Since she was, by far, the best singer in their group. She could reach some pretty low keys and also she nailed the higher ones, her perfect ear helping her with that. All then practicing and studying music came in hand, after all.
The performance was the first big presentation of their class, and since it would be broadcasted, Haruka hoped her family back in Nagano would watch her. The experience of being in a professional stage, in a huge event like that, with people coming from all around the world to see their chorus abilities, made the young girls really nervous, especially those who would be performing solo pieces. Some of them had auditioned to participate in the contest. Michiru was encouraged by her friends to participate but she declined, saying she already had a lot to do, with classes and after-classes lessons. She wanted to get better playing the piano and at dancing, she still felt she was so behind in her class.
But that was just another step on their path to become full Siennes soon.
They would graduate in March. Time was running too fast now.
******
Haruka was already dressed when her roommate, Sachiko, woke up. She cursed and started run around their tiny room to get ready. She didn’t want to be scolded again for being late. Haruka felt sorry for the girl, especially because, apparently, she didn't care less about school. That was a real shame, because she was a decent dancer and had some good skills at acting. Haruka felt like she should work more on her singing, but after months of living together, the blonde girl didn't felt like she and her roommate were exactly friends.
In the past, Haruka would be sad by that, but now, she was too busy to care about that. And it wasn't like she was all alone at school. She had her friends, she had Michiru. Her days were filled with smiles and encouragement. She tried her best to be there for her friends, even not being around them all the time, since she had her otokoyaku training to worry.
Haruka looked at her mirror for the last time, to check her hair. She wasn't that worried about her looks before cutting her hair, but she learned to care about looking always her best. After all, looks were very important for an actress. She felt a little too shallow for thinking like that, but she couldn't help not doing it. Haruka was learning a lot about makeup and skin care, and even if the students weren't allowed to use make up at school, they had to learn about it for the future careers.
Haruka left their room where Sachiko was still getting ready, she couldn't risk being late. Her day would be already too busy and she didn't want to start it by being scolded.
******
"So we have the contest, our school trip and then it's summer vacation!" Takako said, a little too excited. The girls were getting ready for their modern dance class and she looked at her group of friends, all of them dressed in their black leotards. She looked around her class, everyone had their stage surnames written on their chest, and they all looked so beautiful.
"Where do you think we will go?" Michiru asked, she was new to overnight school trips, since she went to school in the US. She couldn't believe they were so close to summer vacation. She wasn't that excited to spend 30 days at home, as usual. Maybe Mayuko-san would be happy to have her helping again with the studio. Or maybe at her family's school, she missed playing her violin lately.
"We're going to Tokyo," Kaoru chimed in, already working on her stretching exercises. "You know, visit our theater there, and a few others. My parents told me last time I talked to them." She explained, paying attention to her exercises. "They asked me to be careful and they were excited to see me this summer," she said with a smile on her face.
Haruka felt a weird sadness on her chest. She hadn’t seen her family since school started in April, when she was home for spring vacation, and being back in school, Haruka barely talked to them, since she was always so busy. She couldn´t help but wonder if that would be her life, barely maintaining contact with people she loved the most. The thought only made her upset and she silently made a vow she wouldn't let that happen. Her family was important to her and she would let them know that more often.
She felt bad for not knowing what was happening to her brothers, or her parents, or her best friend... Maybe she couldn’t call Mamoru like that anymore, since she didn’t had any time to even send him a letter and finding out how life was treating him. Maybe she was just too selfish to care about them all; Haruka just had one subject on mind: becoming a Sienne. Of course, Mamoru and her entire family knew that and Haruka knew they were the most supportive group she could ask for, but still...
Maybe it was a good idea for her to spend some time with them during her summer vacation. If she didn’t have any summer class or workshops or performances to attend. Since this was her final year at school, she had to keep her mind in the game, focused on her future years as a Sienne.
******
A week later the girls were walking back to school after their successful performance at the international chorus contest. The discipline taught in school was visible in the way they looked, all of them so quiet and walking fast. They were excited and a little stressed, especially the girls who participated in the contest.
Michiru sighed; she still had her commute to Osaka. To be honest, she couldn't wait to graduate and finally move permanently to Takarazuka. That way she could live her life without feeling she was a sore spot in her father's eyes. Michiru had her safety net at home with her mother, aunt and cousin, but her father's rejection just hurt her deeply.
Being really honest with herself, Michiru was afraid her decision to pursue her dream would affect her relationship with Daiki for the long run. She was envious of her friends and how they talked about their families and how proud they were of their daughters being students in one of the most prestigious schools in the country, with a valuable career choice. Takako had even a younger sister who was currently practicing hard for her entrance exam; Kaoru was always talking about how her parents helped her prepare for her life in Takarazuka and Haruka... Well, Haruka knew how uncomfortable Michiru was when they started to talk about family, but she couldn't be helped sometimes telling her friends about how supportive her family, specially her grandmother, was.
Maybe that's why she became so dedicated to her studies. Because that was her future, being a full time Sienne would make her life easier. That way she wouldn't have to be bounded to a life she didn't want and she could even prevent a loveless marriage, since she wasn't her family´s school heir anymore. She already had many issues with her dad for bailing on him like that, having the audacity of defying his will. Michiru really didn’t wanted to add coming out as a lesbian to that.
Even having the prospect of a life full of exhausting schedules and strict rules, Michiru smiled. Because she knew that was the only way she would be truly free and become the independent woman her mother and aunt worked so hard to raise.
As they walked back to their school, Michiru looked around, seeing all her classmates and she felt bad for not really knowing all of them.
*******
Right before their summer vacation started, the senior class went to their school trip, a three day, two night away time from everything, just visiting a few theaters, including Tokyo Takarazuka Theather, the National Theater of Japan and the Imperial Theater; the Shinjuku campus of the Takarazuka University, where they had some motivational lectures about how important dealing with their future careers and discipline.
They also had many official pictures to celebrate their trip and upcoming graduation, and made a presentation for the student body and faculty of the University. It was fun and entertaining days for the senior class. They went to the Zoo, and the Shintoist temple nearby, where they could pray and wish for a long and prosper careers.
In their class, just Haruka, Michiru, and two other girls had been to Tokyo. Haruka, with her grandma when she was 10 and Michiru, many times when she was a young girl, since both her parents worked in the city. When they visited the Opera House, Michiru felt a pang in her heart. That place was so important for her parents, they performed there so many times and she knew they wanted to see her on that stage someday... She just hoped her father would be happy eventually with her career choice... The girl really missed him and now, with graduation approaching faster, she just wanted to, finally, be at peace with him...
*******
Michiru woke up startled, in the middle of night. She was out of breath and her forehead was wet with sweat. She looked around the room, seeing many of her classmates still deep in their sleep. Her heart was beating so fast, and Michiru touched her face, feeling how harm her cheeks were.
A dream.
A dream made her feel like that, made her all flushed and uncomfortable. She sat up on her futon, trying to calm down and not make a single sound at the same time, since she had 20 other girls around her. Michiru rose up and stumbled to the bathroom, she needed some to throw some water on her face.
Honestly, she barely remembered her dream, the sole reason why she woke up. She could just remember the feelings, how her body reacted…
And hands... Oh, those hands…
She dreamed of hands. Hands touching her, hands feeling her whole body…. Michiru took a deep breath, she felt like her body was on fire… She never felt anything like that before and why did that had to happen when she was so far from home? She closed herself in the bathroom, letting her body sink against the door.
She had dreamed of Haruka´s hands…
Michiru looked at the mirror, seeing her own reflection. She didn’t really understand what had happened or why, but she wanted that feeling to go away... How she was supposed to look on her friend´s face now? With her subconscious playing with her like that?
But felt so real, the way Haruka had kissed her, the way she had touched her, the way that... More cold water on her face and deep breaths and maybe she would go back to normal. Closing her eyes, Michiru felt her heartbeat slowing down and she decided to leave the safe spot in the bathroom, to go back to the dorm and sleep, since they would be leaving early.
Haruka stood there, in front of the door, ready to knock when Michiru opened up. The aquamarine girl looked up, surprised to see her friend there. She was supposed to be sleeping with the other girls, not there.
"Michiru? Hey?" The taller girl asked, looking at her friend with a sleepy curiosity. She got up to go to the bathroom, and didn’t really expect to see her friend up too. "You looked flushed, is there anything wrong?"
"Why are you up?" Michiru asked, trying to deflect Haruka´s question. She didn’t really know how to answer that and her mind went completely blank, preventing her to imagine any excuse. Haruka stepped closer, raising her hand to touch Michiru´s forehead, to check if she had a fever or something.
"Full bladder. Are you feeling okay?"
Panic-stricken, Michiru deflected Haruka´s hand. She couldn’t handle being touched by those hands right now… By those long, perfect for piano, fingers. Not now, after that dream, maybe not ever. If Michiru was trying to suppress her feelings, she would have to do a better job, not start dreaming about Haruka... No, that was just wrong. When she thought her life couldn’t get more complicated.
Haruka withdrew her hand, taken back for her friend´s reaction.
"I´m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said, not really understanding what was happening. But she was still sleepy and tired of her day, so she figured Michiru was feeling the same. "Can I use the bathroom now?" Michiru stepped aside and let Haruka pass by her. She passed so close by her, Michiru could smell her soap. How she was supposed to go back to sleep after that?
And again, why was her life constantly kicking her in the butt?