Spring Break
Chapter 12
Haruka was surprised when she saw her mother, grandmother and her two older brothers waiting for her at the station. Last time she went home, just Mamoru and Hiroaki were able to go and now, almost her entire family was there.
She smiled at them from the window, seeing how much they had changed at all in all those months they hadn't seen each other. Hiroaki was sporting a short ponytail and looked smug as ever and Hideyuki had gotten new glasses. Haruka loved her brothers, even not really being close to them since she was almost 5 years younger. Hideyuki became a med student when she was still at junior high, following the family tradition, and Hiroaki was enjoying his free spirit. He always said life was too short to not enjoy it at the fullest, but Haruka always thought he was just lazy.
When she finally arrived at the depot, looking so polite in her grey uniform and she couldn't help but smile at her family. Her grandmother looked even tinier than before, and Haruka was truly surprised to see her there. Usually they went to Hakui to visit Ayako. Her mother gave her a fierce hug, almost taking her breath away.
"Don't you ever stay that much time away, understand? You don't know how much I missed you," Rina said, feeling her eyes watering by being this close to her baby girl again. Haruka was basically an adult, already living by herself and taking care of her own life. But she would always be her baby. That was a given.
"I'm sorry, mom. I will come home more often, I swear," the girl said, still caught in Rina's bear hug. Reluctantly the older women let her daughter go, to let the other family members say their hellos. Hiroaki gave Haruka another bear hug and Hideyuki congratulated her for finishing her first year of school with a kiss on her cheek. He wasn't a touchy-feeling kind of guy, always keeping his distance. Not like his brother, though. Hiroaki was his polar opposite.
For last, but not least, Haruka looked down to her grandmother. She owned this woman everything; she was wearing that grey uniform because of her. If she was studying so hard to become a Sienne, it was because of her.
"Hello grandma..."she started to say, realizing how much time had passed since she last saw Ayako. Her grandmother looked older, tired and smaller. And Haruka felt bad for not having much free time to contact her more often.
"You're getting taller and taller," Ayako said. She looked so proud of her only granddaughter. "I can barely see your face from up there," she finished, smiling. Haruka laughed and hugged the older woman.
"Where's dad? And Mamoru?" The blond girl asked, she missed them both too and was dying to see them.
"Well, your father had an emergency and had to stay at the hospital. Mamoru said something about meeting someone and he said he would stop by later," Rina explained. She knew how close Hideo and Haruka were and not being able to being there to welcome her really made him sad. Haruka was fine with that, she knew how busy a doctor was and she was fine with it. Her father was always there for her when she needed. That was what truly mattered.
And Mamoru? Ha, if he had a date, Haruka made a promise to herself that she would pull his leg until the day she had to go back to school.
"So, what is everyone doing here? I still remember my way home, I could go by myself". Hideyuki took her duffle bag from her hands and smiled.
"Oh honey, your brothers are here just to take your luggage home, I brought both of them because I thought you would bring more stuff," Rina said, after exchanging conspiratory smiles with her kids and mother in law. Haruka was confused, they wouldn't go home now? "Actually, Mother and I will be taking you to get a haircut..."
*********
A few days later, Michiru was at home, cooking her breakfast. She had looked some recipes online and decided to give it a try. She was just one year away from finishing school and it was more likely that she would move definitely to Takarazuka. So she knew she would have to take care of herself.
It's not like she didn't do it before, with her parents being away from home so often, but she always relied heavily on her aunt's shoulders. Or take outs, back when she was living at the States. And she couldn't go back to that. Being a professional actress and dancer was physically demanding and Michiru knew she had to take better care of her body.
She got the table ready and fixed a plate. As usual, her parents were working and Michiru felt like staying at home. Maybe reading a book or just taking a long bath. She wanted to have some time off everything, so she could rest before going back to her practice schedule. Now that she was done with the first year of school, she knew everything would be even harder.
But, alone in her empty house, Michiru could finally admit she was terrified of going back to school. The girl was afraid of not being good enough to follow her class, to be amazing, to be truly outstanding. She knew she was good and she was getting better and better, but maybe that wasn't enough for her to achieve her goals inside the Revue.
Michiru chuckled, feeling stupid. Why she had to doubt herself now? After finishing her first year as top of her class, why she had to feel this way?
After eating, the aquamarine haired girl took off her clothes, to take a long and needed bath. Michiru decided to have a long talk to Mayuko. The former Sienne could give her some explanation about what she was feeling, and why she was so full of doubts. It was so stupid to be like this.
Everything came so easy for her. Her violin skills, learning traditional dance, ballet. Training her voice, tapping into an acting talent she didn't even realize she had. The other girls in her class said she could become the perfect Sienne. Because she was focused, educated and polite. She came from a traditional family and she knew how to act like a proper young lady. And that, for a musumeyaku, was one of the main attribute.
Michiru wasn't surprised when she found out she would be a musumeyaku. She wasn't even trying to be anything different, so she gladly accepted her stage gender. Now she just had to choose her stage name and she would be ready to debut.
Michiru smiled to herself, because she already had an idea of how she wanted to be called basically for rest of her life. Taking a deep breath, she submerged in the tub, letting her naked body be surrounded completely by the water. She always felt calmer when she was in the water. Maybe she could go back to her swimming classes.
*******
Nagano was a good place to live. The weather was good most of the year, had great sights, and after hosting Winter Olympics back in '98, it grew enough to be considered a metropolis. Haruka loved that city. She was proud of her hometown, of how slightly accented her Japanese was. Of how, even with all the changes over the years, Nagano was still a place she longed to be.
The sun wasn’t even up when she passed the hill where the Zenkouji temple was. Built back in the 7th century, the Shintoist temple stood imposing, looking over the city, like a silent protector. Haruka went there with her family during the new years since she could remember.
Except last year. When she spent an awkward New Year´s Eve at Michiru's. Where a silly play almost lead to something she wasn't ready for.
A few months after what happened at her friends place, Haruka still didn't understand what had happened between them. But she was glad that it didn't ruin her friendship by making them uncomfortable enough to not being able to even be around each other. So Haruka was happy for that.
She felt her lungs burn when she passed by the hospital her father worked. Haruka had gone back to her running routine as soon as she got back home for her break. But she was clearly not used to push her body in that way anymore. Running, being one with the wind, gave her a rush that ballet never did, and she missed a lot during her time in Takarazuka. Maybe now that she would have a free hour before school, she could go back to do something that she had neglected for so long. And running would help her keeping her body in shape.
And Takarazuka was such a beautiful city. Sightseeing would be her reward. After one year living there, Haruka felt bad for not knowing the town she was going to live after school. So, she would make an effort and start running every morning.
"Oi, Haruka!" She heard someone calling her and stopped her tracks. She felt bad for already being tired after just one hour of running, but she was afraid of hurting herself if she pushed her limits. Looking back, she saw Mamoru and smiled. Since she got back home she hadn't see her best friend and was a little upset. She felt like he was avoiding her. If being away wasn´t already hard enough.
"What are you doing? It´s not even 6 am," the dark haired boy asked, his blue eyes glued on his friend.
"I could ask you the same, Mr. 'I'm too busy to see your best friend in the world'" she crossed her arms over her chest, not really mad with him. Upset maybe, but mad? Not in this life.
Mamoru showed her a plastic bag he was carrying.
"Mom just got home from her shift and since me and dad were away, I offered to get some food," He explained, as they walked together back to the building both of them lived. "I got back just a few hours ago, that´s why I wasn´t here when you arrived".
The blonde girl looked at him, she was very thirsty, but since they were almost home and she didn't have any money, she decided to wait.
"Where were you? Mom said you were meeting someone, I thought you had a date or something."
Haruka smirked when she saw Mamoru blushing, even after this long not seeing each other; he was the same gullible kid she used to pick when they were young.
"No, no dates. Dad wants me to go away for college and we went to Tokyo for some lectures."
Surprised, Haruka went silent, trying to process what he had said. College? But Mamoru was her age, just a few months older. How he was already thinking about college? But again, she wasn't even 17 and was almost a professional. Maybe time was supposed to run faster for them.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here, I bet you have a lot to tell me, and I promise we will get together and talk all night long about everything that's going on with you, OK?" The boy said, taking his key out of his pocket. The walk to their building was a fast one and they were on their floor in no time.
As Haruka opened her door, she heard Mamoru calling her name. Looking at her oldest friend, she didn't see the boy she left behind, one year ago. Mamoru was now taller than her, his body was still slender, and his black hair was a little longer.
"What?" She asked, realizing they were both growing up really fast and made a promise to herself to take some time off to spend with him, just reconnecting.
"I like your hair short like that."
Smiling, Haruka passed her hand on her hair, she was still getting used to its new length, but already loving it.
"Thanks. You could use some haircut too, you know."
Chuckling, Mamoru entered into his apartment, and Haruka did the same. She was indeed very thirsty.
*******
Time was running fast for Michiru. As usual, she was helping Mayuko in her dance studio, and of course practicing her ballet. She started dancing a little late, so Michiru took advantage of every spare time to getting better.
The girl was excellent as a traditional dance, but Western dance styles weren´t her forte. Luckily she had great instructors at school and her friends were also incredible, especially Haruka, the most skilled of them. And watching her friend dance was one of the most amazing things Michiru ever saw in her life. Not a surprise that Haruka was great; she started practicing when she was only four years old.
That was something Michiru couldn't understand. Haruka was so skilled and talented, why she wasn't top of their class, instead of her? In comparison to her, Michiru was just another girl, nothing special at all. She couldn't really understand how that happened, because it seemed pretty impossible for her to beat Haruka.
Michiru was just a rebellious girl who decided to defy everything to do something that she didn't even know she could. That thought really saddened her, because she wanted to believe, she wanted so hard to believe that she was capable to thrive. Especially because Michiru planned to be a Sienne forever.
"If you don't pay attention to your exercises, you can get hurt." Michiru heard Mayuko say. Looking at her mentor, Michiru gave her a sad smile. Mostly cause she didn't know how to do it differently outside school.
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, just pay attention." Mayuko walked by her, and fixed her position. Michiru was a really fast learner, but she always had trouble with maintaining some poses for too long. Mayuko was proud of her for being top of her class, she felt like this was her own victory, since Michiru was her protégée. She also began her career really young, but everything blew up on her face when she had a serious injury and her knee never recovered.
The older woman went to the radio equipment she use during practice and changed the song to an upbeat melody. The studio was empty since the entrance exam for TMS was in a few days and she wanted her girls to rest so they could excel on it.
Looking at Michiru, Mayuko saw herself at her age. So full of dreams, so passionate. Thinking the world was her oyster and she could do everything. Well, certainly, Michiru had the attitude for it, and after a really busy year, Mayuko hope the girl was getting her mind and soul ready for the commitment that being a Sienne really meant. In her days, she knew many girls who quitted for not being able to handle the pressure. It was a wonderful world indeed. But it didn't come easily.
Now Mayuko had a completely different life. She had gotten married to a lovely man, a physiotherapist who worked in the same clinic she treated her injury; she had her studio and her students to worry. And she had this incredible girl, who always kept a sad smile on her face. This girl, who was going against everything just to be like her. And Mayuko knew she would do anything to help her.
She walked back to Michiru, seeing her deep blue eyes fixed on her.
"I understand why you're focused on your ballet, and that´s not wrong, but you need to excel in other dance styles too." Mayuko tied her hair in a neat bun and moved her head side to side, hearing a satisfying crack. "If I remember correctly, you already started your jazz lessons right? Show me what you learned."
******
"So, Asanuma raised his leg a little too high and his shoes cut my arm" Mamoru explained, showing Haruka the fade bruises on his left arm. "Luckily I’m a fast healer and didn't have any trouble on my exams. But the poor kid still apologizes every time he sees me".
A few days later, the two friends were having a sleepover, the first one after years. They had a lot to catch up and decided staying up late would help. Haruka was just listening to his junior high adventures, a little boring for her, especially because Mamoru was attending the first year of high school and she never really cared about it. Not that she was a bad student. But her main focus was far from that kind of education.
Mamoru, on the other hand, was a very bright boy. He always excelled his tests and everyone saw an incredible future for him. Haruka thought that was why his father wanted him to go study overseas. Going to college in a very renowned school would do wonders for him if he came back. Haruka had some experience on living far from her family and she knew that being in a strange place could really help achieving success.
Or break the boy entirely. Honestly, she didn't know how he would react to a situation like hers. And she was worried. Mamoru was too important for her and she felt like she was in fault with him, for being away and being so busy.
"I'm never playing soccer with him again, which is probably for the best because I will give birth to a pterodactyl next week," Mamoru said, realizing his friend was so far away she wasn't even listening to him. He took a sip of the water he had got earlier, before bed and waited for what he said sink.
"Wait, what?" Haruka asked, feeling confused for a second. Why Mamoru was talking about dinosaurs? She would probably know if she was paying attention to him and to his stories. Bad Haruka.
"I was just testing you, to see if you were paying attention, but I guess I'm not interesting anymore." The boy faked a hurt tone on his voice. "It's cool, I know you have a lot in your mind."
"No, I'm sorry, I should be listening. It's just...” Haruka sat in her bed, hugging a pillow. She missed her childhood room, but weirdly enough, she felt like it wasn't her place anymore. It was a simple room, a little too girly and messy. Maybe she could take that mattress with her? Her back would appreciate it.
"Just what?" Mamoru asked from the floor where Rina had laid down a futon for him. They used to sleep in the same bed when they were young, but now, so many years later, Haruka's bed was way too small for both of them.
"I'm worried about you. All this college stuff, are you too young for that? To already be going to lectures and visits. I met some girls at school, who had a really bad time adapting to being away from hone and I heard stories about girls who left because they couldn't handle it..."
Mamoru got up and sat beside his friend. It felt like forever since the last time he was in that room.
"There's some talks, yeah, but it's not set on stone yet. And there's still a couple of years until that". He didn't really understand why Haruka was still thinking about that. "So don't worry, okay?"
"I guess... I guess knowing that you will leave Nagano too made me realize we are really growing up and we probably won't be in each other's lives when we become adults.”
Mamoru looked at his friend, Haruka was always to strong and confident. Listening to her talking about her fears was almost scary.
"I don't really think you should be worried. But I get it. I was afraid of you coming back all different and I wouldn't even recognize you," Mamoru sighed. This night wasn´t going the way he imagined. He wanted to watch some old movies, play some games, read some manga and just talk about everything and nothing, like the old times. Not having a deep talk about their fears.
"Really? Despite my new hair, I'm still me, you know that, right?" Haruka tried to lighten up the mood. She knew Mamoru wasn't a social butterfly like her, and with her being far away, he was lonely. The girl reached for her friend and hugged him. "I'm sorry." She said, still in his personal space. "But I promise I won't change that much, OK? And you need to promise me the same, ‘cause when we grow up, our lives will be so messy that we will need this familiarity. Promise?"
Mamoru looked at Haruka and smiled. Why he was so worried?
******
Michiru had a very busy vacation. She took her time off school to work on Mayuko's studio almost every day, using the place to practice too. After all, she needed to be sharp as ever if she waged to keep her position of top of her class. Graduating from TMS as the best student would do wonders on her future career and now that her first and awkward year has passed, Michiru was adamant that she could do this and have a long life as a Sienne.
She also enjoyed her time with her cousin, especially when they had to work at the family music conservatory. Before every the new classes starts, Ami liked to look at all the conservatory systems and bills to get the books right and optimize her mother’s work. She was the only one in the family who had talent for numbers and stuff like that, so since she was a little girl, her mother didn't bother in letting her daughter take care of that. Especially now that Saeko was so busy practicing for her audition to be, once more, a cellist in Takarazuka orchestra.
Michiru was proud of her aunt. Not just because she decided to go back to the place she loved working, but because she was defying tradition, just like herself. Kaiou women were supposed to become teachers in their music conservatory, but Michiru was happy to be a part of a revolution. Saeko was giving her best to go back to perform and her own mother was one of her inspirations to be a strong and decided woman. Natsuki didn't bow to anyone and even loving her husband dearly, she didn't let his traditional and conservative ways to keep her of being a successful violinist. Of course Michiru misses her, because Natsuki was always away for work, how could she not? But being her daughter was reason enough to understand and support her.
That left Ami. Ami, with her big eyes and her low-key voice. Ami, who played a sad cello, no matter how happy the tune was, Ami, who loved books and math equations and was already gathering attention of renowned universities, national and international.
Ami, whose heart was so big and full of love for her old cousin that she didn't even bother with the idea being a cellist and a future teacher at the conservatory. If, by doing that, she would be able to help Michiru achieving her dreams, it was great. The younger girl always admired Michiru 's strength. Not in a million years, Ami felt like she could just leave her home to live in another country, or anything Michiru already did in her 16 years of existing on this planet.
Ami didn't carry the Kaiou surname, but that didn't meant she wasn't a Kaiou woman. Therefore, she would have to follow her mother and grandmother, and all the women before her, and be what they wanted her to be. No matter what she wanted to. No matter if she was studying so hard to go to a great college or if she was too shy to be a teacher. She would become a musician and not give her family any more reason to be mad at Michiru, thinking that she was a bad influence. That could jeopardize everything, the relationship between the two cousins and of course Michiru's relationship towards her family.
And Ami couldn't allow that.
In the morning of Michiru’s last day off, a lovely and warm Sunday, the conservatory was closed and the women were using one of the rehearsal rooms. Saeko was getting ready for her audition, so she could use all the help she could get, being out of the game for so long left her a little rusty. Ami was beside her, trying to follow her mother’s rhythm, providing a good base for her solo. She wasn't a bad player, but she lacked passion.
Natsuki offered to help her sister in law; it was a good opportunity for her, to feel some family love. It was so rare for her to have a time off, when she wasn't traveling so spending with her family was almost mandatory. And she knew all about how hard working in an orchestra was, and how demanding that could be, specially because she knew Saeko hadn´t play professionally in almost 15 years.
Natsuki was grateful for everything her sister in law did for her. For taking care of Michiru, for stepping up and taking care of the family business when Daiki, her lovely and good for nothing husband left everything behind to be a teacher.
The woman knew she owed Saeko a lot. She also felt bad and guilty for the mess she got everyone into. Natsuki knew she was a selfish woman, and felt like her actions had a lot of downsides on her husband's family. But she wouldn't bow to tradition or her husband's will. She spent her younger days listening to own mother telling her that she could give everything to a man, give up everything for him, just for him to die early and leave her alone, with a small child to rise. Natsuki wasn't even 10 years old when she decided she would fight against all the odds and give herself a future different from her mother's. And she would make her future husband understand that.
Of course she was still working on that. Daiki was a loving husband and a devoted father, but he was also stubborn as a mule. But so was she. That explained why they were always on each other's back, ready to rip their throats out. Especially with the entire Michiru situation. Natsuki looked up from tuning violin to her daughter, who was sat at the grand piano, practicing some songs for school. She was proud of her baby girl. Since the day Michiru was born, Natsuki knew she was destined to great things.
"OK ladies, we are all here today to enjoy each other's company and help Saeko-chan to do a great job interview next week," she started, her voice echoing on the empty classroom. "Michiru will provide the base for the songs with her piano and we will follow. I got music sheets from the Revue, so Saeko-chan and Michiru can focus on that."
Natsuki smiled at her daughter and brought her violin to her shoulder. With a nod from her mother, Michiru started to play. Her strokes were still weak and she was struggling to deal with the instrument. After all, she was a violinist. She looked at the keys and remembered when, right before her final tests, Haruka sat beside her to help her study. She remembered her long fingers moving on the keyboard so easily, so fast and so strong. And Michiru loved seeing Haruka play. Loved to see her delicate hands dominating such a strong instrument.
‘...and I'd give anything for Haruka to do the same with me...’ Michiru thought suddenly and took a deep breath to focus on the task at hand.