January
Chapter 10
January started colder than usual. Lots of snowing made it harder to get up in the break of dawn. For the Takarazuka music school, school days always started early, especially for the freshmen, since they were responsible for cleaning the premises before classes.
It was a hard way to begin their day. But their strenuous routine helped the girls to step down from their former selves, to help them become humble and making them understand the importance of hard work.
Haruka was excited about being back at school. January started full of promises, full of excitement and why not happiness? She was just two months away from being done with her first year, and it was the hardest year in her life. She wasn't used to this complicated routine. Even back home, she was disciplined and used to strict rules, laid by her ballet teacher. A ballerina life meant so much more than just dancing.
But this school was a whole new level of strictness. Especially for the first years. And she was glad it was almost over.
In the cold and dark morning, Haruka was following closely the rest of the freshmen who just left the dorm. They walked in line, eyes on the road, in silence. And the blonde girl was thinking how really lucky she was. Even in the cold, even when her bed was so inviting.
She was lucky to just being there, being able to go to this school. And she couldn't wait to go home next month so she could tell her family about how incredible everything was. How amazing and fulfilling her life was.
Even if she had to wake up at 5 am and deal with snow and cold to clean the school.
‘Nothing else matters when dreams are becomingtrue’, she thought, as she entered the building with the rest of her classmates.
********
Michiru stood in front of the train door, like it was expected of her, during her ride from Osaka to Takarazuka. During the one hour she was inside the train, she read music sheets and scripts for classes, trying to be productive. Moving to the dorms wasn't an option, so she had to enjoy her time at the trains.
But since the end of the school year was coming, she couldn't help but to think what she would do after graduation. The girl didn't think she was too young to be living alone in Takarazuka; there were plenty of places where she could live after becoming a full Sienne. Michiru knew after she started working, living there was the best option.
She didn't want to think what her father would think of her moving out, because frankly, she didn’t really care. She was so done with his anger.
Maybe she could find a roommate. Maybe... Haruka would like to share a place with her.
Michiru sighed, she couldn't believe she was thinking about living together with Haruka. That was virtually impossible and so far, the worst idea she ever had. She barely made through 10 days, her heart ached when she remembered that almost kiss they shared at New Years.
Did they really almost kiss or that was just Michiru's over hopeful mind? She didn't know what was worse, believing that Haruka almost kissed her or thinking it was just something she imagined. The latter was probably the truth, Haruka only saw her as a friend and they were playing prince and princess, so maybe it was part of the act.
The girl sighed. Luckily she would be so busy with school that she wouldn't have any time to think about all these stupid things. Michiru knew that this crush or whatever it was, was just slowing her down, and if she wanted to be great in her job, she’d have to let it go.
She put her hand over her heart. Thinking about Haruka made that small muscle beat so fast in pure joy…But Michiru needed that enthusiasm to be focused in building her career.
When she got at the Takarazuka station, she was smiling, feeling a little proud of herself.
*******
January was supposed to be a busy month. After an uneventful December, the beginning of the New Year held the promise to be exciting and full of great activities. For instance, the first years would start their stage make up classes and the seniors were choosing what they would do for the Culture Festival, in February. Graduation was just around the corner and as usual, it was expected from them nothing but perfection.
Haruka was excited to start the make-up class. She felt like finally she would start seeing herself as a Sienne, in a real way. In a few weeks, she would find out about her stage gender and not knowing that was killing her. It was not like she was demeaning all the musumeyaku, but she felt like she just couldn't be one. Even being a perfect candidate to be an otokoyaku, she still had this unconscious fear of not being chosen as one.
Even growing up as a ballerina, and under her faithful mother's eyes, Haruka never really felt like she was really feminine. She always hated the girly dresses Rina made her wear, she hated her stupid long hair... She had the idea that she wasted too much time dealing with 'girl stuff'. Precious time she could be practicing dance moves or lines.
Being a tomboy by heart, Haruka wasn’t sure if she could be a good musumeyaku. And she wasn't killing herself at school to just be good. She wanted to be great, wanted to be Top.
It would be a challenge for her, sure. But Haruka felt like her life was hard enough to add that. She was fascinated with musumeyaku though. Their delicate beauty, their gentle moves and yet so strong. Haruka always thought they were beautiful and one of the reasons she wanted to become an otokoyaku was exactly that.
To honor her musumeyaku.
Especially if that musumeyaku was Michiru.
After what happened at her house during New Year, Haruka was a little confused. She didn't really understand what happened, or what she was feeling. But that sketch they did, opened her eyes. And it was like she saw her friend for the first time in her life. Michiru’s wavy aquamarine hair, her deep blue eyes so full of mysteries... Her slender body, moving so well against hers, reading her like an open book...
Haruka was really focused in fulfilling her dreams, but she wasn't entirely naive. She had older brothers, she wasn’t completely clueless.
But she also knew that anything she was feeling after that night, it had to stop right now. She couldn't risk jeopardizing her future at the Revue.
Or worse, her friendship with Michiru.
******
The freshmen year make up class was usually held in January, so the girls could practice for the culture festival in February. Normally, they were responsible for their own make up stage. And of course, since they would be helping in the upcoming festival, they needed to know techniques so they would be able to provide support for the performers.
As a school tradition, the freshmen were assigned to seniors, so the honsakei could show them the school, teach them the rules and monitoring them during their cleaning duties. There was some mean seniors who treated the freshmen badly, and freshmen who secretly rebelled against their seniors. It was more like second years trying to impose the school hierarchy and the first years being the typical teen’s rebel.
But luckily, both Haruka and Michiru, and their friends were assigned to a group of seniors who were more interested in keeping their grades high, practice a lot and just trying to finish school so they could start their lives.
Since the first years weren't supposed to perform at the festival, just a few choral pieces as usual, they would assist the second years and try to learn as much as possible, because it would be their turn to do the same in no time.
The make-up teacher was a local artist, who worked at the Grand Theater. She was a small woman, in her 40's, with jet black hair around her shoulders and a slender waist. Dressed in formal attire, she started her first class of the year explaining the fundaments of make-up, how important it was to enhance the students’ natural beauty, to hide flaws and to help them achieve perfection.
For the whole month, the first years would learn how to use make up to not become someone else. But to bring out who they really were. Beautiful young women.
*******
"Your birthday is coming?"
Haruka, Michiru, Takako and Kaoru were having lunch at the cafeteria. They were talking about the upcoming festival and their first plans for spring break in March, when Haruka mentioned her family wanted her to go home so they could celebrate her birthday together, even a couple of months late. The taller girl just loved her birthdays. It was a special time for her and her family, her dad would try hard to take a day off, her mother baked a cake with a sugarless frosting, and her brothers would get her really thoughtful gifts.
And of course she couldn't forget her grandparents. She didn't have much contact with her mother's parents, since they were incredibly busy taking care of a hospital, but they were lovely people. A little too focused on their careers, but still lovely. And Ayako? Haruka smiled when she remembered her tenth birthday, when her grandmother took her to see a Takarazuka performance for the first time.
So, Haruka was excited to go home, to celebrate with her family, not really caring if they would do it after the actual date.
And hopefully, she would know her stage gender by then.
"Yeah, January 27th," Haruka said, putting her spoon down. Her stomach was a little weird since she woke up, so just a starchy soup with sweet spicy bread for lunch. Later in the afternoon they would start the practical make up class, where the first years would start putting to practice their new make-up skills, after a few theory lessons.
Since wearing make-up wasn’t part of her routine, she had no idea if she would do any good. And since this was a class like any other, Haruka knew she had to be excellent, if she wanted to keep her high grades.
"Oh, that's great!" Kaoru, the smaller girl in the table, older than Haruka by one year, said, excited. "We can go to that bakery down the Hana no michi and have cake! They have this cupcake with nuts and chocolate, it’s to die for."
"And we can go to the theater, it’s been a while since we went there," Takako concluded.
Haruka smiled, glad she would be able to celebrate her birthday at this very special place.
"That sounds like a plan, I like it," She said, momentarily forgetting about her upset stomach. This was what school was about. Making friends for life. Having fun.
*******
Under the cold supervision of their teacher, the girls were working hard on their make-up. The idea of the school was training those girls to be independent artists, for them to be able to do anything by themselves. Make-up was important because that was the face they would be showing in public, to represent the characters they would play.
The teacher gave them a simple task, to reproduce one of the styles they had learned during class. Even being their first try, they were supposed to be good at it. In this school, there was no place for failure. How they would be able to charm and amaze thousands of people if they couldn’t even do this?
Haruka was calmly applying eye-shadow, really focused on her task. She was in her happy place, her safe zone. Where she was the only one, where she could focus and perform beautifully. For her, nothing else mattered when she was working her best to be the best. If she wanted to ever become a Top one day, Haruka knew she had to push herself harder.
She looked at the mirror, seeing herself for the first time as the otokoyaku she wanted to be. Her hair was tied in a ponytail, giving free access to her whole face. The blonde girl smiled, happy with the result.
"Very good, Tenou-san," Her teacher started, noticing a few tiny flaws in Haruka's technique. But in general, her student did well. And fast. "When you're working with brushes, don't forget to swipe them in the same direction, ok?" She said to the rest of the class, walking around the table, giving a few pointers and making remarks
Michiru was seated next to Haruka. Make-up wasn’t something that she was unfamiliar with. She had chosen a simple style, with deep colors, the same she saw Mayuko wearing during her final show. When she looked at Haruka, the aquamarine girl felt her heart skip a beat.
How could someone be this beautiful? And for a second, Michiru thought she was lucky that students weren't allowed to use make-up at school, save for performances. Because she wasn’t strong enough to deal with this much perfection every second of her school life...
"Are you okay?" She whispered to her friend, noticing her watering eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I poked my eye with the brush," Haruka said. She understood she couldn't be overwhelmed by everything that happened to her, so a deep breath was mandatory now. Giving a second look at the mirror, she was glad with her life choice of being here.
Because the pretty girl she saw in her mirror deserved to be out in the world.
******
The morning of the 27th started unusually cold. It was a Saturday and the students would have just half day. Filled with piano class and extra practice for the bunkasai in two weeks. The freshmen would perform two chorus pieces and they were excited about the songs they would sing. Since it was a new song for most of the girls, and to show their evolution as performers, everyone was eager to show their skills. As individuals and as a group.
Haruka woke up early that chilly morning. She stared at the ceiling, her eyes used to the darkness. It was the morning of her 16th birthday, the first birthday she would spent alone, without her family.
The blonde girl had a few moments where she felt lonely. Being away from home at this age, not really being able to talk to them, to see them was really hard for her. At this hour, her father would be sneaking into her bedroom, to give her a birthday kiss before going to work. Hideo would tell her no matter her age, she would always be his princess.
After seeing him leaving, Haruka would wake up properly and join her mother in the kitchen, where she would listen to her own birthday story, since the moment the labor started until the little buddle of joy was resting happily in her father's arms. Hiroaki would invite her for a friendly game and Hideyuki would pretend to forget her special day, just to give her a great gift. He was the silent type, always studying hard, but his heart was made of gold. Haruka always loved his lovely gifts.
And of course, she would have cake with her family and her best friend since she was 8 years old. Mamoru would probably give her a book, or a DVD from the Revue, like he did every year since she told him her dream of becoming a Sienne. Mamoru always thought she would be a great one someday and he liked spending time watching or reading her gift.
This year, she was feeling a little too cold. She was growing up and no one who loved her was there. Being an adult at this age truly sucked.
Her roommate was still getting ready when Haruka left. It was still dark, still too unusually cold for an end of January Saturday morning, but it wasn't the time for her to be sad. Of course not, today was a new day, her day. She would make it a great birthday.
*******
One of the extracurricular activities for the students was watching as many plays as possible. And if they paid enough attention, they would learn a lot from observing the older Siennes.
And being this close to the Grand Theater and not taking any advantages was just stupid. That's why Haruka, Michiru, Takako and Kaoru were happily seated in their places, waiting for the play to begin. They all knew how much in love with the Revue Haruka was and watching a play at the Grand Theater seemed a perfect idea to spend her birthday.
Michiru was listening to her friends making small talk, and she noticed a few women looking at them. She knew the grey uniforms gave up who they were and luckily, the unsaid rules for the fans, that explicitly forbid any contact with the actresses when they were on their days off, would guarantee a peaceful afternoon.
The aquamarine girl laughed quietly, with all her contained elegance. She wasn't doing it for the fame, but she was still amused by the future possibilities. Would she be able to deal with a possible successful future? Since she started school, Michiru got so much better than the quiet, scared girl she once was. And of course, she blamed Haruka for that.
On Saturdays, Michiru was happy to have a good quality time to herself. Her parents were usually busy with their own lives, and Ami was always busy with homework. So Saturdays afternoons was her time. Normally she would read a good book after a long bath, and relax her sore muscles. A light dinner and a movie.
But not today. Today she had planned something different. And she hoped everything went well.
*******
"Araki-san was so beautiful!" Kaoru exclaimed as they left the theater. The play was just wonderful as always and they were so excited to know that they were just one year away from being on that stage. After all, they would become seniors next month.
"She was, but seriously? You were looking at her? Everything was incredible, I honestly never saw anything this amazing," Takako said, closing her heavy coat. "Don't you think we can be placed in Hoshigumi with Araki-san? They have a lot of string singers..."
"Tenou-san will be great there, don't you think, Kaiou-san? They have strong otokoyaku too."
Michiru smiled, she knew how admired by her peers Haruka was. And it was so impossible to not be impressed. For a freshman, Haruka had a lot of skills and her teachers were amazed by her. She was so focused and hardworking, being a ballerina since early age gave her the perfect balance and discipline. And she was getting so much better with her singing, her natural deep voice was getting stronger every day. Haruka still thought she wasn't a good actress, but Michiru had often told her she would find her prince persona soon, so rushing it wasn't the best idea. Michiru was always impressed by Haruka's dancing. The taller girl moved like a free spirit, like she was dancing with the air as her partner.
"I honestly think our birthday girl will be great anywhere they place her. And any Troupe will be so lucky to have her," Kaoru concluded.
Michiru liked her friends. They were chatty, lovely and talented girls, who shared their dream of being great Siennes. She was truly glad for being able to meet them.
"You guys are always talking too much about me, when you need to be worrying about yourself," Haruka said, smirking. She winked to Michiru, to let her know she was just pulling their friends' legs.
"That's not fair, Tenou-san, you know I work harder than all of you because I'm not...” Takako started, just to be interrupted by Kaoru.
"She's not young as us and you know old babas have bad knees."
"Who are you calling old baba? You're older than me!" Takako said, angry.
"But I'm cuter, so I win!"
Michiru and Haruka didn't really understand how those two really became friends, since they were always on each other's throats. But it was always a friendly batter, nothing too serious. Nothing that could put their friendship in jeopardy. Working together all those months ago, for the fundraiser event, had help building their relationship. Forever.
"So, we're going back to the dorm, it’s almost dinner time," Kaoru said, after a few minutes of silly fight with Takako. Takako looked up to the sky and smiled, a whole Sunday to rest and just being lazy waited for her. "But we can walk you to the station, Kaiou-san, so you won't be alone," the short girl said, as she shivered from the cold.
"Oh, there's no need, I can go by myself, and it’s not that far." Michiru was used to the ten minute walk from the station, since she used that path every day. She didn't really mind to wait until Monday to give her gift to Haruka, and she was moderately happy to spend her birthday together. Things were kind of awkward between them since their dance in Michiru's house, but the aquamarine haired girl didn't say anything about it. If Haruka also felt anything she never said anything either. And Michiru was fine with that. Maybe even a little hopeful…
"Of course not, Kaiou-san", why her last name sounded so weird coming from Haruka's mouth? "I will go with you," Haruka offered.
"OK, but can we do a little detour first?"
*******
The two students sat in the back of the restaurant, enjoying some quiet time, since the place was almost empty. When Michiru said she wanted to take Haruka out for dinner, she didn't really expected the taller girl acting so surprised. They were friends and that's what friends did for each other. Especially on their birthday.
And Michiru just wanted to dismiss that awkward cloud that she felt above their heads. Nothing happened at her house, and if it did, it was probably her active subconscious, so avid, so hopeful for Haruka to tell her she felt the same way. That she was also crushing hard on her.
For someone so smart, Michiru felt stupid. They were performing a play, nothing else. There was no almost kiss, no lingering sexual tension.
Nothing.
Michiru sighed, her new found smile back on her beautiful face. Haruka was looking at her, happy to be there. Haruka wasn’t like her. She was still too naive, maybe even a little childish. While she listened to some classmates giggle in secret about boys, Haruka was becoming the best dancer in their class. She never had said anything about anyone else, or her own preferences. So Michiru concluded romance wasn't an important part of her friend's life.
The aquamarine girl couldn't really blame Haruka. She was definitely right, they had so much more important things to deal with. Maybe she should follow her example and just give herself to her training. Focus on becoming a star.
Maybe even being Top one day.
"Did you had fun today?" She asked, looking at the menu. That restaurant was her favorite in Takarazuka, maybe because it was the same one where Haruka gave her the most perfectly timed pep talk ever and changed her school life forever. Every time they had a free time and she was available, Michiru would suggest they went to that place, so special she kept close to her heart.
"Yes! You know I love going to the theater."
Haruka smiled her adorable boyish smile. And Michiru felt her heart skip a beat…
"But I would be okay with anything you guys decided to do," she concluded, adjusting her red tie. She was a little tired, but she couldn't just say no to Michiru's invitation. She was hoping to spend some alone time with her friend. With classes, practices and training, they barely had time to talk. Their schedule would become more insane so Haruka needed this. On this day nevertheless.
"I'm not sure if you're familiar with the fact that today is your birthday, and this means that today is your day," Michiru said, sipping her water.
"Oh, trust me, I'm completely familiar with that concept. It's not like I'm full of myself, but I kept thinking about my family, imagining how things were and what would they being doing.” For someone who never had spent that much time away from her parents and brothers, Haruka was dealing easily with that transition.
“You miss them a lot." It wasn't a question, but a gentle statement. For all she knew, the Tenou were indeed lovely people. Haruka always had a smile on her face when she talked about them.
The old man who owned the restaurant along with his wife was on waiter duty that evening, so he approached the girls in a surprisedly fast pace for someone his age.
"Good evening, what can I offer you?" He said, giving them warm towels so they could clean their hands. Michiru smiled at her friend.
"Dinner is on me tonight, so don’t be shy, OK?" She said, so elegantly.
Haruka chuckled, amazed at how classy and adult Michiru looked. They had the same age, Michiru being younger than her by a couple months, according to the talk she heard between her friends, but Michiru was so mature. So much more than her.
"Why don't we order Yosenabe? It's really delicious and at this hour, something like will help us sleep better." Yosenabe was a hot pot dish with a little of everything: meat; seafood; tofu; egg; and vegetables, one of the perfect food for a cold night like that.
"I think you're right." Michiru looked at the old man and told him what they would have. After watching the man leave, she reached for her bag and took out a neatly wrapped parcel.
"Here, happy birthday." the aquamarine girl handed the gift to Haruka, who looked like she didn’t really believe she was getting a birthday present.
"You didn't have to, but thank you."
"It's just something I saw it one day and it made me think of you."
Things were weird between them, Haruka knew that. They were still close, still best friends, still partners. But Haruka wasn’t stupid; she knew that Michiru was a little distant, like she was almost embarrassed for being there. Haruka herself was a little confused about some of her own feelings, that evening back in Michiru's house was just... She couldn't put her finger on what was really happening. She could feel the tension.
"Can I open it now?" The blonde girl asked, her deep voice was strong and confident, so Michiru knew she was comfortable. She already knew Haruka so well, every nuance of her personality.
With a nod of her friend, Haruka carefully opened the package, revealing a book. Michiru smiled when she saw the other girl's eyes sparkling.
"Do you like it?" She asked with a quiet voice.
Haruka ran her long, pianist fingers over the cover, feeling the cool paper under her fingertips.
"I heard you talking about getting this book, I really hope you don't have it yet." Michiru was truly clueless when she decided to buy something for Haruka. She knew she should get something related to the Revue, because she knew Haruka used to collect memorabilia. But she had no idea what to get for her. So she decided to give her Araki-san's first personal book, full of pictures, since she was absolutely sure Haruka admired the older Sienne.
"Thank you, Michi," Haruka said, touching Michiru's hand, gently. The action sent shivers right down the aquamarine haired girl's spine. Of course she had to act like a hormonal teenager now.
"Anything for my prince," she said, knowing that they would be fine. At least, she sincerely hoped so...
TBC