Floundering
For all that the Crystal Gems gave up everything to isolate themselves on Earth and protect it from their own kind, until Greg Universe they remained more or less aloof from humans and their civilizations. The latter rises and falls too easily—humanity really has some catching up to do, on the galactic scale. Best leave them to it, right? Even Rose, who loved humans more than anyone, still had only known enough about them to play out brief storybook romances every few decades or so.
It’s not like they don’t care about humans. They wouldn’t have risen up in a catastrophic rebellion against their own people, if that were the case. They just have a lot on their plates with collecting corrupted gems of their old friends and foes and making sure any and all communications with Homeworld are well and truly dead, like they themselves are supposed to be. They respect that humans have a right to exist and progress in their own time, blissfully unaware of what almost was, and it seems only fair to leave them to continue in this way.
Besides, humans are just so—primitive. “Talk to me when you figure out a sustainable alternative to fossil fuels like the rest of the Milky Way, right?” Pearl always says, grinning at her own joke.
“Gems had to struggle when it came time for us to solve that problem, too,” Rose Quartz never fails to retorts, gentle but admonishing.
Instantly, Pearl flushes light blue. “You’re right, Rose. Humans are just young. It’s not fair to hold them to our standards,” she mumbles.
“They are pretty dumb, though,” Amethyst will chime in, grinning and snickering. “I mean, look at how they travel these days!”
Garnet doesn’t typically have anything to add. She thinks humans are primitive and virtually defenseless against gem technology, but her loyalties are to Earth itself, not its endemic inhabitants. She thinks neither highly nor lowly of the species. They exist, and she acknowledges this fact; that’s about all you’re going to get out of her.
Nobody else seems to realize that Rose’s protests are half-hearted at best. That’s what usually has Garnet laughing by the end of the conversation.
It isn’t until Greg that the Crystal Gems learn that humans can be pretty interesting, even without a solution to their inevitable energy crisis. There are a lot of things they’ve overlooked over their centuries of apathetic cohabitation on this planet—like music. Homeworld doesn’t have anything even remotely like that (it’s why dancing was never invented, prior to Sapphire and Ruby stumbling upon it), and wow, have they been missing out!
Even then, though, learning about human values and inventions from Greg or secondhand from Rose is one thing. Having Rose Quartz leave her young gem-human hybrid son in their care was something else entirely.
To say that the Crystal Gems were not prepared for Steven would be a gross understatement. Steven inherently brings with him Earth’s alien culture that they’ve been avoiding for so many centuries, and he makes them learn it with him every step of the way.
No, learning isn’t the right word for it. They are immersed in it. Only Steven can get them to play ridiculous board games like Kitchen Calamity, or participate in a barbeque/impromptu volleyball tournament with the Pizza family. He forces them to invent things that gems don’t need, and to care about human life in ways they never thought they could. He may be learning how to be a gem from them, but they’re learning so much more from him. They’re learning an entirely new way of thinking, of living, of being.
“We’re bad at this.” It’s a rare day to hear Amethyst so sad about something, but she truly sounds defeated this time.
They’re still waiting outside of Steven’s three-room test with a comically huge bouquet of star shaped balloons and a great big Congratulations banner. Have been for nearly an hour now. Doubt is starting to creep in. Was this even worth the time it took to set it up? Steven couldn’t really have found a way to hurt himself in there, could he?
Has he figured it out? Garnet can see three futures in which he does; that means it’s statistically more probable that he could—and, what’s worse, she will never be able to tell from the way Steven acts when he eventually finds them on the other side. He’s a better actor than he thinks.
Garnet’s powerful, confident stance hasn’t changed, but her fists are clenched at her sides. She can’t help it. Feeling the warmth of Ruby and Sapphire’s gems in her palms is a comfort.
“What?” says Pearl, aghast by Amethyst’s declaration.
“Yeah.” It’s hard to tell if Amethyst is upset because she doesn’t know what to do, or because Pearl refuses to see that she doesn’t know, either. “You can’t control him, and he shouldn’t be taking advice from me, and we don’t have Rose to tell us what to do!”
Garnet doesn’t say anything, but privately she thinks that Amethyst may be right. Is giving Steven an impossible-to-fail task that raises his confidence based upon a lie appropriate? Were there other options that would have raised his confidence better? Does he need to physically accomplish something to feel better, or does he just need to talk? They designed this test with a gem’s mentality, but is that the same as a half-gem’s?
They honestly don’t know what they’re doing. It isn’t like Steven came with a user’s manual.
“But he needs us to show him how to be a gem!” is Pearl’s mantra—and oh, if only that were the end of it. Showing Steven gem stuff is easy. It’s everything else he comes with that trips them up. They’re doing their best, but there are times where Garnet fears that may not be good enough.
“Steven is not just a gem. There has never been anything or anyone like Steven.” Garnet adjusts her glasses as she says what they’re all trying not to think about, “We don’t know what he needs.”
One might thing that being the first fusion gives Garnet a leg up on how to deal with unique beings. However, while fusion and love-children could be comparable philosophies, in the physical realm fusion is nowhere close to being a totally new species. Garnet is still a gem through and through, and, while they have pooled all of their resources together to give Garnet existence and the power to realize her full potential, Sapphire and Ruby—the only two who could potentially have some useful advice on something like this—are pretty well removed from the situation. They tend to stay happily tangled up in each other and let Garnet take care of everything else. Of course they love Steven—if they didn’t, then Garnet certainly couldn’t—but they haven’t become mothers the same way that Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst have. They don’t interact with him in the same way; their bond with him is entirely through Garnet. That isn’t a bad thing, necessarily, but when she’s on her own Ruby simply doesn’t look to Steven as a son, and neither does Sapphire. That’s the difference.
Garnet never asked to have a little half-gem thrust into her care, tutelage and protection, but now that Steven is in her life she couldn’t stomach an existence without him. She knows this, and she doesn’t resent it. She can’t, it’s Steven. He’s far too precious for her to think of him as something regrettable. At this point she and Amethyst and Pearl love that little boy more than Garnet ever envisioned they could, and that’s not a bad thing.
It’s just. Sometimes, Garnet just wishes she could understand what being a good parent entails with better clarity, so maybe she won’t end up floundering like this again.