Your Strength

The couple months in between the very beginning of the awards season and Jared’s accident were fairly stressful for both Jensen and Jared. Jared had to go through physical therapy for his arm after they took the cast off, which he had to work into his schedule that was already pushed back by the week in the hospital. Jensen worked with Felicia, rounding out their screenplay, which had Felicia on edge. Furthermore, Jensen wanted to dote upon Jared as much as possible while he was recovering, something that Jensen knew slightly annoyed Jared, but he couldn’t quite help. Jared and Jensen hosted Thanksgiving at their house, inviting all their friends, which was fun and chaotic. Finally, when Christmastime finally came, Jared and Jensen were released from their busy lives momentarily to fly down to Texas. They were spending a couple days and Christmas Eve with Jensen’s family in Dallas, and then driving down early Christmas Day to Jared’s family in Austin. They’d stay in Austin until the 28th, fly home, and then spend New Year’s with their friends at Chris’s bar, which was tradition among Jensen, Danny, Chris, and Chad, to which they amiably invited along, of course, Jared, Misha, Felicia, and Gen. After New Year’s, the award season would officially begin, so Jensen and Jared were treasuring their little respite, even if it required flying.

“Do we have to really spend time with my family?” Jensen whined at Jared, who Jensen caught a quick eye roll from.

“Jensen, you want to see your family,” Jared chided. “It’s Christmas, you need to see your family.”

“Really? Because I’ve spent the last three Christmas’ away and had a grand old time,” Jensen argued. They’d just landed in Dallas, and Jensen still felt tense from the flight, which he hadn’t quite managed to sleep completely through.

“You’re going to have fun,” Jared sighed. “I, at the very least, want to see your family.”

“It’s just…” Jensen sighed too. “I haven’t talked to my dad since the ranch, Jay. And I don’t particularly want to talk to him now, either.”

“I know,” Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand as they walked to the rental car station. “But I am still adamant that we need to spend Christmas with our families. Just think how great it will be to see Mac.”

Jensen took a deep breath, blowing it out through his mouth. “Yeah,” he eventually agreed. “You’re right. It’ll be great to see Mac, and my mom. And even Josh.”

Jared laughed. “Exactly.”

They rented a car and braved the Dallas traffic for an optimistic half hour drive before arriving at Jensen’s house. It was in Richardson, just outside of Dallas proper, and was a large brick house that almost looked colonial. It was strung with lights, which were off in the daylight. A set of grazing wire deer gathered on the expansive front lawn, and the huge decorated tree was displayed proudly in the vast bay window next to the porch. Jensen pulled the car under the grand arch of the carport before pulling into the large parking area behind it.

“Here we go,” he commented as he opened the door and Jared offered a small chuckle. They grabbed their bags from the back, and Jensen led them into the house through a back door. They entered into an immaculate kitchen with pies and cakes dispersed throughout, making it smell like a sugar-coated heaven.

“Hey!” Jensen called out, starting to head through the kitchen. However, he paused when he heard a huge crash, a yelp, and Mac yelling, “Joseph!”

“Joseph?” Jared raised his eyebrows at Jensen and Jensen started to shrug, but was soon distracted by a surprisingly large puppy jumping on him, licking his face frantically. Jensen toppled into Jared, who caught them both with a grunt.

Mac came careening into the room and yanked the dog back onto the floor with a little difficulty. Jensen righted himself and immediately dropped to his knees to greet the puppy properly.

“You guys got a dog?” he asked, a little excitedly. Jared joined him on the floor and Mac laughed a little nervously.

“Actually, he’s mine,” Mac corrected. “I’m still working on training him.”

“Jesus, he’s gigantic,” Jared laughed. “What kind is he?”

“As far as we can tell he’s a mix between a St. Bernard and a Newfoundland.”

“Wow,” Jensen chuckled. “Leave it to you to pick out the biggest dog ever.”

“I know,” Mac laughed. “Alright, can I have a hug now that you’ve appropriately greeted my dog?”

Jensen stood and enveloped her in a huge bear hug. “Sorry,” he laughed, kissing the top of her head. When Jensen let go, Jared hugged her.

“So, he’s yours?” Jared asked. “Early Christmas present from your parents, or something?”

“Not from my parents,” she replied, looking down a little bashfully. “From, uh, Thomas.”

“Thomas?” Jensen raised his eyebrows and Mac frowned a little.

“Yeah, my boyfriend,” she finally admitted.

“Your boyfriend?” Jensen asked, gaping. “You have a boyfriend? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I wanted you two to meet in person,” Mac defended. “And if I gave you too much time with the information, you’d be able to adequately prepare, which I wanted to avoid.”

“Prepare?” Jared asked.

“He’s mean!” Mac accused, pointed at Jensen with pleading eyes at Jared.

“What?” Jared laughed.

“No, really, he is,” Mac nodded. “But only to my boyfriends! You’re never mean to Josh’s girlfriends, just to my boyfriends.”

“I don’t care who Josh dates,” Jensen laughed.

“That hurts,” Josh replied, walking in from the back door. “But, you know, back at you. No offense, of course, Jared. Mac is everyone’s favorite.”

Jensen and Josh hugged, both grinning at each other.

“Have you met this ‘Thomas’?” Jensen asked skeptically.

“Yeah, he’s upstairs,” Josh nodded.

“What?” Jensen exclaimed again.

“Yeah,” Mac confirmed.

“Well, bring him down,” Jensen commanded. “I want to meet him.”

“Okay, but first…” Mac drew in a long breath. “You have to promise not to be mean!”

“I’m not mean to your boyfriends, Mac,” Jensen told her.

“Porter?” she immediately argued.

“Okay, but he was a Patriots fan, Mac,” Jensen defended. “That didn’t have anything to do with the fact he was your boyfriend.”

“Collin,” Mac furthered.

“He was such an idiot! He asked me if dinosaurs came from chickens, Mac. Not chickens from dinosaurs. Dinosaurs from chickens,” Jensen threw up his hands.

“Aaron?” Mac pointed out.

“Okay, well, I really didn’t mean to make him cry,” Jensen rubbed his neck a bit sheepishly.

“You made one of her boyfriends cry?” Jared asked.

“That was a funny dinner,” Josh laughed.

“Look, I am sorry about Aaron,” Jensen offered.

“Beck? David? Bret?” Mac raised her eyebrows.

“God, you’ve dated a lot of guys,” Josh laughed, and Mac turned with a murderous glare.

“Yeah, because this asshole scares them all off!” she said angrily.

“Alright, Mac, calm down,” Jensen pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry, I’ll be nice.”

“Promise?” she asked, pulling away.

“Promise,” Jensen confirmed.

“Alright,” Mac nodded, then turned to Jared. “And will you…uh, help him?”

Jared laughed. “Yeah, of course.”

“Alright,” Mac smiled, appeased. “I’ll go get him.”

“Do you want me to grab your guys’ bags?” Josh offered. “I’ll even hurry, so I don’t miss the show.”

“Sure, thanks Joshy,” Jensen grinned at him. Josh flipped him the bird with a smile before grabbing their bags and hauling them off into the house to Jensen’s old room.

“You were mean to your sister’s boyfriends?” Jared inquired with raised eyebrows.

“Alright, look,” Jensen started defensively. “I’m a little protective, okay? Are you telling me that you’re completely cool with all of Megan’s boyfriends?”

“Yeah,” Jared nodded. “She usually has really nice taste in boys. Her last boyfriend only left her to go into the Peace Corps.”

Jensen took a deep breath. “Well, Mac’s boyfriends have never been quite as respectable.”

“Well, this one bought her a puppy,” Jared pointed out. “So that bodes well?”

“Who buys their girlfriend a puppy? They can’t have been dating too long, or at least Mom would’ve told me. This seems a little early, right? I mean, it’s not a normal gift.”

“Oh, so I see what she means by preparing now,” Jared laughed. “Stop over thinking it. It’s a cute dog. Though, why is his name Joseph?”

“Mac givers her animals people names,” Jensen provided. “She has a hamster named Fred and a fish named Gregory.”

Jared laughed, and Josh reappeared. “Alright, I threw them unceremoniously at the door, so don’t trip when you walk in.”

“Thanks,” Jensen laughed. “Why is it taking her so long to get him down here?”

“She’s probably telling him all the things to avoid saying,” Josh laughed.

“A puppy, Josh?” Jensen sighed.

“He works at the humane society,” Josh told them. “The puppy wasn’t being adopted because it was defensive in a kennel, but Thomas knew it was sweet. He couldn’t adopt it, because he already has three dogs of his own. So he called Mom and asked if maybe it would be okay to buy it for Mac, for Christmas. Mom, of course, thought it was a great idea. Dad was less than pleased, but has since gotten over it.”

“Human society,” Jared repeated. “See, Jensen? That’s perfectly respectable.”

“And what does Dad think of him?” Jensen broached cautiously.

“He actually likes him,” Josh shrugged. “We all do, Jensen. He’s a really nice kid.”

Just then Mac reentered, pulling a tall scruffy-looking kid after her. The kid was grinning amiably and Jensen was reminded of a golden retriever. He looked at everyone and his eyes flitted past Jared and then back, widening. Josh, seeing this, suppressed a laugh.

“Jensen, this is Thomas,” Mac introduced. “Thomas, this is my big brother, Jensen. And that tall drink of water behind him is his boyfriend, Jared.”

Thomas stepped forward and shook both their hands, first addressing Jensen. “Hey, it’s great to finally meet you. Mac’s told me all about you.”

“Did she describe horns, by chance?” Jensen inquired, and Thomas laughed.

“Yes,” Thomas agreed. “She gave me a list of things to avoid, so I don’t see them.”

“And top of the list?” Jensen’s voice sounded a little confrontational, even to himself.

“The Patriots,” Thomas grinned. “I’m not to even mention the Patriots.”

Mac’s hand flew to her forehead. “Why even give you a list?”

Jensen couldn’t help but to smile a little. “Alright, you don’t seem half as dumb as others before you, but we’ll see. I’m sure I can find some way to scare you off.”

“I doubt it,” Thomas laughed. “I don’t scare easy.”

Jensen grinned, taking a step up to Thomas, who he easily towered over. “Really?” he asked lowly, and Thomas’s smile faltered.

“Jensen,” Mac growled and Jensen stepped back.

“Right,” Jensen smiled a little. “Sorry, I’m supposed to be nice.”

“She told me as much,” Thomas nodded. “If it helps, can I just say that I’m a huge fan of your writing? Mac took me to your newest film, which was amazing. Mr. Padalecki, I’m a big fan of your work too. You were amazing.”

“Please, call me Jared,” Jared laughed. “And thank you.”

“Mac told me her boyfriend was dating an actor, but she didn’t tell me he was the star of the film we saw eight times,” Thomas laughed.

“You saw it eight times?” Jensen asked.

“The first four were her idea, the last four were mine,” Thomas nodded. “It’s an amazing film.”

“Thanks,” Jared grinned. “And Jensen would thank you, too, under normal circumstances.”

Jensen groaned. “Eight times?”

“Hey, I went for five of those eight,” Josh told Jensen. “Dude, we’re huge fans of yours.”

“You guys are so dumb,” Jensen rolled his eyes at his brother.

“So, is the introduction done? Can we go back upstairs?” Mac asked.

“Oh, no,” Jensen shook his head. “I’m very against alone time.”

“God, you’re such a child!” Mac groaned.

“I promise, we’re not doing anything inappropriate,” Thomas told him. “We’re actually just trying to get Joseph to behave. I’m helping train him.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes and before he could protest further, Mac grabbed his hand and dragged him from the room.

“It was amazing to meet you,” he called back over his shoulder.

“Josh, go supervise,” Jensen commanded and Josh laughed, but stopped when he saw how serious Jensen was.

“Jensen, they’re not kids, I can’t go chaperone them,” Josh disagreed.

“It’s either you or me, and you guys seem to like him, so I doubt you want me to do it,” Jensen pointed out.

Josh opened his mouth then blew out a loud sigh. “Fine.”

Josh left angrily and stomped up the stairs.

“Wow,” Jared laughed. “I’ve never seen over-protective brother Jensen before.”

Jensen frowned at him. “What a schmooze.”

“In what way?” Jared sighed.

“Saying he went to the movie eight times,” Jensen scoffed. “Eight? That’s so unbelievable.”

“I don’t think he was just saying that,” Jared argued. “I really think that he and Mac went to see your movie that much.”

“It’s not my movie, it’s your movie,” Jensen disagreed. “I just…”

“Wrote it?” Jared laughed. “You’re so cute when you’re being all humble.”

“Yeah?” Jensen chuckled, pulling Jared against him and kissing him. “How cute?”

“Very,” Jared told him, pecking him a million times. “See? Wasn’t this a good idea? This is already so much fun?”

“Our family drama must be so entertaining for you,” Jensen exclaimed.

“Oh, it is,” Jared nodded.

“Oh, sure,” Mac said suddenly from where she had appeared at the doorway. “You two are allowed to kiss, but God forbid me and Thomas are even left alone together. Did you really send Josh up to keep an eye on us? Like we’re children?”

“Yes,” Jensen replied simply.

“If I wasn’t as fond of you as I am, Jensen, this would be a lot more infuriating,” Mac told him.

“But I’m your favorite, so you tolerate it,” Jensen grinned at her, walking over and ruffling her hair.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But it’d mean a lot to me if you liked Thomas, Jen. Please, try?”

Jensen sighed. “Yeah,” he finally relented. “I’ll try.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, kissing his cheek and walking from the kitchen.

“Wait, Mac!” Jensen called after her. She reappeared at the doorway. “Where are the parents?”

“Mom thought it’d be a good idea to go deliver treats around the neighborhood and dragged Dad along,” Mac shrugged. “Mrs. Wallace is probably talking their ears off. Speaking of Dad, how are things going to be this holiday season? Are you talking to him again?”

Jensen was silent to which Mac nodded, frowning. “Alright,” she accepted. “I’ll keep you two apart best I can.”

“Thanks,” Jensen smiled at her, and she left again.

“Is it the best idea to avoid your father?” Jared asked.

“I just don’t want to fight,” Jensen sighed. “We’re only here for a couple of days. I think I can manage to not fight with him for a couple of days, but that is pretty contingent on me not speaking to him for the majority of it.”

“Alright,” Jared shrugged. “I’m on your side, obviously. I just want this holiday to be nice and stress free.”

“I know,” Jensen kissed Jared again. “It will be.”

They walked into the huge living room. It had a twenty foot vaulted ceiling, and the tree that was pressed against the window went all the way to the top.

“How did they even get that in here?” Jensen asked.

“Pure force of will?” Jared suggested.

“Probably,” Jensen agreed. They plopped down on the leather couch. They talked for about thirty minutes before the front door opened and in came Jensen’s parents.

“Jensen!” Donna squealed and practically tackled Jensen with a hug.

“Mom,” Jensen hugged back. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, dear,” she squeezed him one more time for good measure before detaching and attacking Jared. “Jared, dear! It’s so great to see you again. I heard about the car accident, I hope you’re feeling well.”

“I’m doing great, thanks,” Jared laughed breathily.

“Mom, he can’t breathe,” Jensen chuckled. Donna slowly let Jared go.

“It’s a mama’s duty to hug tightly,” Donna told them both with a smile.

“We know,” Jensen laughed. “So, I met Thomas. You okay’d a puppy?”

“Well, it was just such a sweet gesture,” Donna sighed. “Although, between you and me, when he told me it was a large dog, I didn’t quite understand the extent.”

Jensen laughed. “Well, I like Joseph.”

“Oh, Jen,” Donna frowned at him. “Were you mean to Thomas? Is he gone already?”

“No!” Jensen exclaimed. “I was civil! God, I’m not that mean to her boyfriends. I don’t know where this reputation came from.”

“Oh, honey, you made one cry,” Donna pointed out.

“Stop using that as the example,” Jensen groaned. “I did not mean to make him cry.”

“Nonetheless, honey,” Donna smiled. “It’s okay, though. It’s adorable that you’re the protective older brother. Keeps Mac out of loads of trouble, I’m sure.”

Jensen glanced behind his mother to his father, who was standing somewhat awkwardly holding a few tinfoil covered plates.

“Here, let me take those into the kitchen,” Jensen offered as way of hello, taking the plates from his father and exiting to the kitchen. He deposited them into the fridge, which took some great maneuvering with how full it already was. When he came back in, Donna and Jared were talking on the couch and his father was sitting quietly reading the paper in a recliner near the Christmas tree. Jensen plopped down next to Jared, and Jared automatically wound his fingers through Jensen’s as Jared continued the conversation.

“I think he’s enjoying it quite a lot, but now that he’s back, why don’t we ask him,” Jared told Donna and Jensen fought back a grimace that they were talking about him while he was gone.

“Jared was telling me about your newest project, honey,” Donna told him. “The one you mentioned you were working on with that nice girl from the ranch.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jensen nodded. “We’re nearly done with the preliminary writing, if she’d just loosen her grip on a few things.”

Jensen hadn’t meant that to come out quite as angry as it had sounded, and he sighed. “Sorry, I’m not really angry. I’m extremely glad for the break, though.”

“Felicia is a little…anal retentive,” Jared provided with a smile. Jensen couldn’t help but grin, remembering how much Jared himself had giggled at the term over a year ago, on their first date. Thinking back on it, Jensen always felt better.

“You’d know all about that, I suppose,” his dad muttered almost incoherently at his paper and Jensen’s jaw dropped.

“Alan!” Donna admonished, looking stricken, but it was Jared who laughed.

“I don’t want to agree, but…” Jared chuckled and then laughed harder. “No pun intended.”

Alan looked up over his paper with a little bit of surprise and Jensen couldn’t decide whether he should laugh with his boyfriend or fight with his dad. He decided that instead, he’d go find a referee.

“I just remembered I need to talk to Mac,” Jensen said tightly, standing. “Jared, do you want to come with me so I don’t make poor Thomas cry? Because apparently that’s a fearful possibility.”

“Yeah,” Jared grinned, standing and following Jensen up the stairs. Almost the moment they were out of the room, Jensen could hear his mother furiously whispering at his father.

“I’m sorry that I laughed,” Jared apologized and Jensen looked back to see that he was still grinning. “That was just unexpectedly funny.”

“It’s fine, I kind of wanted to laugh too,” Jensen shrugged. “That was just so…surprisingly homophobic. My dad was never super gung ho about me being gay, but he was never openly…well, so back handed.”

“I don’t think that quite qualified as homophobic,” Jared disagreed. “More like…homo-sarcastic.”

“Alright, Jay,” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Nevertheless. Mac needs to babysit us when we’re together, or else this trip might turn out a little more exciting than we’d anticipated.”

They walked to Mac’s door which was propped open. Mac and Thomas sat side by side on Mac’s bed staring intently at Joseph, who was balancing a treat on his nose patiently. Josh was sitting on her bean bag in the corner playing on his phone.

“Oh, let poor little Joe have the treat,” Josh commented when he glanced up to see they were still torturing the young dog.

“Wow, that’s some serious concentration,” Jensen commented from the door and Mac looked up, breaking the eye contact and thus nonverbally allowing Joseph to flip the treat into the air and catch it, which was pretty impressive, Jensen thought. “We should teach Harley and Sadie that trick,” Jensen told Jared.

“Joseph!” Mac chastised. “I didn’t say okay.”

But Joseph didn’t care as he scrambled from in front of Mac to try and jump on Jensen. Jensen didn’t wait, instead dropping to his knees to greet the adorable fluff ball. “Hey Mac, want to hear what dad just said?”

“Oh, that’s never a good sign,” Mac grimaced. “What did he say? Are you guys leaving?”

“Jared commented that Felicia was a little anal retentive,” Jensen looked over and couldn’t help but grin at Jared. “And dad said Jared must know all about that.”

Jared, Jensen, Josh, and Thomas laughed while Mac violently rolled her eyes. “Oh my freaking God,” Mac groaned.

“It was a little more straight forward than he usually is,” Jensen smiled. “And no, we’re not leaving. But I have decided that you need to be in the room if me and dad are to behave. Mom tries to make him behave but she doesn’t have the keen eye to predict outcomes of conversations like you do. Can you do it?”

“Of course I can,” Mac laughed. “I’ve been doing it my entire life, why wouldn’t I be able to now?”

“True,” Jensen agreed, straightening and walking over to Mac’s bed, plopping down on it and beckoning Jared to do the same. “So, Thomas. Tell me about yourself.”

“Uh…what do you want to know?” Thomas asked a tad nervously.

“You know, the basics,” Jensen replied.

“Okay, well, I am studying to become a veterinarian and I work for the Humane Society. I’m very into animals, if you can’t tell. Uh…What else do you want to know?”

“Ever been arrested?” Jensen raised his eyebrows.

“Honestly, yes,” Thomas nodded. “A year ago I was arrested when I was caught trying to steal an abused dog from an abusive owner. The owner pressed chargers until it was made clear to him that the judge was very much on my side, so all charges were dropped and I got to keep the dog. His name is Ralph. He’s a huge sweetheart. He’s a huge pit bull, and will still go and hide when I get the vacuum out.”

“That is amazing,” Jared nodded. “I highly approve.”

“Jared,” Jensen reproached.

“What, he stole a sad little puppy from an asshole, Jensen!” Jared argued. “C’mon, Jen. He’s practically a saint.”

“No, not a saint,” Thomas shook his head. “I just don’t like animals getting hurt.”

“He doesn’t like animals getting hurt, Jensen,” Jared grinned at Jensen who rolled his eyes but was stifling a smile.

“Alright, that’s a good story, I guess,” Jensen allowed. “You’re not the biggest dick I’ve ever met.”

“Thanks,” Thomas smiled. “I don’t get that a lot.”

“Dinner!” Donna called up the stairs.

“Dinner? We just got here,” Jensen frowned.

“It’s been cooking all day,” Mac shrugged.

“She wanted to eat early with you guys so we have plenty of time to talk and whatever. Expect dinner to be early every day while you’re here,” Josh supplied and Jensen stood, pulling Jared up as well.

“Of course,” Jensen smiled.

They all headed downstairs to the dining room where Donna had set out everything pristinely. They had a Christmas ham, stuffing, green beans, the whole works. It was just as Jensen remembered, though he hadn’t been home for Christmas in such a long time.

“It all looks amazing, mom,” Jensen told her, giving her a side hug and a kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you,” she beamed at him.

“It smells amazing,” Josh commented. “Can we dig in, yet?”

“Yes, everybody take a seat,” Donna prompted. “Alan wants to make his traditional toast and then we can dig in.”

They all took a seat and Jared leaned into Jensen a little as he did so, imperceptibly asking, “Traditional toast?”

“I forgot,” Jensen replied with a frown.

“It’s always wonderful thing to be surrounded by your family on Christmas Eve,” Alan started as soon as everyone was seated. “Christmas was always a grand tradition in the Ackles family. I always came home when you kids were little, even if in the middle of a shoot. We tried to always be together. This, for the past few years, is usually when I would lament Jensen’s absence, thinking he too busy to come be with his family when really he couldn’t make it due to…relationship problems—“ It was then, as Mac, Donna, and Josh all said “Dad!” or “Alan” sharply in admonishment, that Jensen realized his father was drunk. “—Sorry, right. Off topic. Anyway, we’re all together this year, is really the only part that matters. God bless us, and peace to our nation. Cheers.”

Jensen was both angry and, in a weird way, amused. He could see how this would be entertaining in a perverse sort of reality-TV way. Maybe he could write a sitcom someday based off the misadventures of the Ackles family. He didn’t know how well that would go since his writing was usually a tad too serious for happy-go-lucky purposes.

“Jensen, pass the beans,” Mac requested, breaking Jensen from his reverie. Her eyes were probing and he gave her a small shrug with a smile as he passed the beans. She looked a little surprised for a moment before her eyes flitted over to Jared momentarily before returning to his with a new found grin.

“So, Jared,” Donna began a little too tersely to be as easy going as her smile suggested. “How did you like the premiers? I’ve read all about them, I heard Sydney gave a particularly touching response.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty amazing,” Jared grinned. “Surreal. It was weird to see myself up on the big screen in an actually good film—not that I haven’t loved all my other work, but this movie is amazing. It was written by this really good screenwriter, I don’t know if you’ve heard of him. Kind of full of himself.”

Jensen snorted. “Oh, yeah. He’s amazing. Fucking brilliant.”

“Language,” Donna admonished and Jensen chuckled.

“Sorry, mom,” he fake grimaced at Mac who laughed.

“Are you guys excited for the awards ceremonies?” Thomas asked.

“I am,” Jared grinned. “Just being nominated is enough for me, I’m totally fine if I don’t win. But Jensen doesn’t like them.”

“Why not?” Thomas inquired.

“Not a big fan of public speaking,” Jensen shrugged.

“But your last speech went so well!” Josh laughed.

“Last speech?” Thomas asked and the dinner table went dead quiet.

Jared was the one who broke the surprised silence. “You haven’t seen Jensen’s Oscar acceptance speech?”

“You’ve won an Oscar?” Thomas asked excitedly.

“You’re joking, right?” Mac turned to him. “I thought you saw it. You Googled him before you went to the movie, how did that not come up?”

“All of the results were for Trauma and the response it was getting,” Thomas shrugged.

“Oh, thank God,” Jensen sighed. “It’s finally not the first thing on my web search.”

“Oh, well, we have to show him,” Mac said, turning to Donna. “Mom, can I use my phone at the dinner table please? Just this once?”

“Yes, I suppose we have to educate the newbie,” Donna allowed much to Jensen’s dismay.

“Mom!” he cried. “The sacred rule!”

“Honey, your speech is a riot,” Donna smiled. “I will not deprive anyone who is associated with this family of it.”

Mac whipped out her phone and queued up the video. Jensen, of course, knew exactly what he said, having been forced to watch it over and over again. Jared leaned over to watch it again, and the rest of them could hear it.

“Hey,” Oscar Jensen began on the tiny screen.

“Solid start,” Thomas commented.

“So, this is really awesome. I won an Oscar. Radtastic.”

“You said radtastic on national television at the Oscars!” Jared started laughing.

“You’ve seen this before,” Jensen groaned.

“Gets better every time, babe,” Jared replied without turning.

Oscar Jensen continued on Mac’s phone. “I think I’m supposed to thank the Academy, but I don’t know the Academy. I’d much prefer thank Jack Daniels. Whiskey is quite the catalyst to a writer such as myself.”

“I hate that you’re the pretentious drunk that uses words like ‘catalyst’ when they’re shitfaced,” Josh groaned.

“Language,” Donna corrected again.

“Thank you mom for providing me with existence,” Oscar Jensen continued. “That was pretty rad of you. Dad too, I guess, but his job was pretty easy.”

“I love that you keep using rad,” Mac grinned.

“I love that you used the word existence as the extent of my contribution,” Donna tsked.

“Hey, at least he gave you existence,” Alan slurred. “I just got an easy job.”

“Some little dude by the camera is giving me a circle motion so I think I’m supposed to be done or something. So anyway, this is awesome. I’m, like, honored as fuck.” Fuck was bleeped out and Mac dissolved into laughter while Thomas chuckled with her.

“You, young man, swear too much,” Donna admonished.

“Sorry, mom,” Jensen rolled his eyes with a smile.

It ended with him waving his little Oscar man in the air triumphantly and trying to moonwalk off stage, at the wrong exit.

“The moonwalk is a very underrated dance form,” Jared commented as Mac put her phone away. “You should bring it back, Jensen. You have some serious talent.”

“I’ll get right on that,” Jensen nodded. “But first I have to focus on making rad a thing again.”

“I feel like that will be a little harder,” Mac laughed.

“Really? You think rad will be less widely accepted back into the vernacular than the moonwalk into the popular dance forms of today?” Jensen raised his eyebrows at her.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Alright then,” Jensen accepted.

“So, dear, are you going to have a speech prepared for these upcoming awards?” Donna asked, steering the conversation.

“I don’t think I’ll win anything,” Jensen shrugged.

“Oh, come on!” Jared scoffed. “There’s no way you lose.”

“I know you don’t want to believe it,” Jensen chuckled. “However, in the film, mine is not the best work. Felicia’s directing style is sublime, you’re a fairly unknown actor who’s now in the limelight for your brilliant acting. And above all else, it comes together in a way that is particularly disserving of the Best Picture, and there’s no way we get all four. Best Original Screenplay is a smaller category that is less sought out, and therefore the easiest one to give to another film.”

“I think we’ll get all four,” Jared replied without missing a beat. He’d had this conversation with Jared before, along with Felicia, Misha, and, on occasion, Gen, who hoped for the Best Hair and Makeup award, but wasn’t getting her hopes up since both hair and makeup was fairly unelaborated.

“It doesn’t hurt to be optimistic, dear,” Donna pointed out.

“No, but I won’t be disappointed either,” Jensen shrugged. “I will, however, be extremely disappointed and angry if Jared doesn’t win. He deserves it most.”

“No, I’m a first time nominee,” Jared argued. “I think I have less of a chance of winning than you.”

“I was a first time nominee when I won,” Jensen pointed out.

“Yes, that’s true,” Jared shrugged. “Whatever happens, I’m just happy we’re all nominated.”

“Yes, quite the pride and joy you two are,” Alan commented. “Quite the power couple.”

“Oh, I hope the tabloids don’t get a wind of that misnomer,” Jared laughed. “I don’t want to be the ‘power couple’ waltzing down the red carpet. Let’s leave that for Brad and Angelina.”

“Just a random small-time civilian question, real quick,” Thomas interjected. “Do either of you know Brad and Angelina personally?”

“They’re Hollywood royalty,” Jared laughed. “So no, I don’t. However, Jensen has promised to introduce me.”

“You know them?” Thomas’ eyes were wide with both astonishment and admiration.

“Yeah, Angelina and I get along really well,” Jensen smiled. “She’s an amazing person. I accidentally spilled champagne on her dress a couple years back and we’ve been friends ever since. Brad is a very funny guy, but I don’t think he’s forgiven me for spilling on his wife.”

“That’s amazing,” Thomas sighed. “Who else have you guys met?”

“I worked with Paris Hilton on this one bad horror movie,” Jared laughed. “She’s…just as you’d expect. Let’s see…I met Natalie Portman on the set of one of her's a while back. She was amazing, she loved that I’d watched her episodes of Star Wars more than the rest. Speaking of Star Wars, I met Harrison Ford and he was strange, but amazing. That’s all I can think of right now.”

“Jared’s forgetting that he’s very good friends with Jimmy Fallon,” Jensen nudged Jared playfully.

“No way!” Thomas gasped. “I watch him almost every night.”

“Me too,” Jensen nodded. “He was just at our house a couple of weeks ago, he brought his daughter over for us to meet. Before that, he’d come over for dinner a few times when he was in town.”

“Yeah, Jimmy’s amazing,” Jared grinned. “His wife is hilarious. That kid of theirs is going to have a hell of a sense of humor.”

“What about you, Jensen? Who else have you met besides Brad and Angelina?” Thomas pressed.

“I’ve been to a few award shows and after parties, so I know quite a few celebrities,” Jensen told him. “It’d be easier for you to just ask me and I’ll answer.”

“George Clooney?”

“Yeah, he read for one of the parts in Trauma, actually,” Jensen nodded. “But Felicia talked with him and his schedule didn’t line up all that well, so he bowed out.”

“It wasn’t for my part, was it?” Jared asked. “Because I would feel really bad if I deprived the world of another George Clooney movie. He would’ve been great in that part!”

“No, you’re part was set in stone,” Jensen assured.

“Nepotism at its finest,” Alan muttered and everyone collectively ignored him, Jensen not even desiring to correct him.

“Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter?” Thomas pursued.

“Yes, they’re the weirdest couple ever,” Jensen nodded. “Awesome people. They asked me to voice one of their characters not too long ago, unofficially, so that project might be in the works. And while we’re on the subject, yes, I’ve met Johnny Depp. He’s amazing and a little crazy.”

“Alan Rickman?”

“Okay, let me just stop you there: I’ve met the entire cast of Harry Potter, all at different times.”

“That’s amazing,” Thomas said with a huge grin.

“Yes, yes it is,” Jensen confirmed.

“You’ve met so many more celebrities than I have,” Jared commented. “Am I living in LA wrong?”

“We live together,” Jensen pointed out.

“Great, so it’s just me,” Jared sighed.

“Jensen, look at me,” Alan all of a sudden yelled. Everyone jumped at looked at Alan who glared at Jensen.

“Dad, what the hell?” Jensen exclaimed angrily.

“You won’t talk to me,” Alan pointed out at a much more reasonable level.

“Alright, Alan, I think that’s enough whiskey for tonight,” Donna tried to reach for his glass, which he ripped away.

“I need to say this, Donna!” he said to her angrily and she glared at him, but sat back in her chair. “Jensen,” he continued.

“Dad, do we have to do this now?” Jensen groaned.

“Yeah, dad, come on,” Mac tried.

“No, I need to say this,” Alan insisted angrily. “I don’t care if I’m causing a scene in front of your boyfriends. I need to say this, and I’m just at the right level of drunk to do it. Jensen. You’re not talking to me, so I thought if I got a little snippy, you’d get defensive like you used to. Remember? You were such a good arguer. But even if you were arguing with me, you were still talking to me, at least. But now you’re even ignoring that. Is it so much to ask to talk to your son?”

“Dad,” Jensen sighed, carding his hand through his hair. “I didn’t just stop talking to you because I’m heartless.”

“I know,” Alan agreed. “It was because I was…how did you put it, Mac. Victim-blaming? Victim-blaming. Which is bad. And I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry.”

Jensen was silent, so Alan repeated himself. “Jensen, I’m sorry.”

“Dad, it’s a little bit more than sorry,” Mac piped up, fire in her glare.

“I know, but that’s all I can do at this point, right? I can’t go back in time and reverse my stupidity, can I? No. So I can only say sorry now,” Alan stated. “I’m sorry. I just wish that you could talk to us, but I recognize that it was hard for you. I’ve read books, most of which Mac has bought for me, that I neglected for years because I thought I didn’t need a damn book to understand what my own son had been through. But they helped. I can’t begin to understand how much of an idiot I was being, thinking it was…what did I say? Charlie pushing you around. It was worse, and I know that, I knew that. I didn’t mean to…how did you put it? Trivialize it? Trivialize. Right, I didn’t meant to trivialize it. I’m sorry, Jensen.”

“Dad…” Jensen didn’t want to forgive him, not after he’d been just under civil to him for years, when he needed him most, but he could see tears in Alan’s eyes, his father, who never cried outside of a role he played.

“I don’t think it’s enough,” Mac aided Jensen. “It’s too much too soon.”

“I want to understand,” Alan pressed. “Jensen, just talk to us about it.”

“I can’t, dad,” Jensen shook his head. “I can’t, not here at dinner with poor Thomas who is getting the show of his life.”

“Talk to us,” Alan pressed after a pause as he mulled over Jensen’s words. “Please. I just want to understand.”

“Dad, no—“ Jensen shook his head angrier.

“Jensen, I want to understand!” Alan raised his voice and something clicked in Jensen.

“You want to understand,” he laughed bitterly. “You can’t understand. I can’t make you understand. Because there are hardly words for it. It’s like living in a prison where you can see the world around you, sunny and beautiful, but you’re locked away from it. It’s being negated to only the sum of your parts, to being an object, to being nothing. It’s being, feeling, knowing you’re worthless. Worthless, dad. That no one in the world cares at all about what happens to you, and yet knowing that you have to keep those who care away, lest your fate somehow becomes theirs. It’s like a disease, like being quarantined from everything. It’s alienation and pain and anger and fatigue. You go out and smile at the world and come home exhausted. It’s buying concealer so you can look relatively normal and not simply a mass of different shades of blue. It’s all of these things and so much more, dad. That’s not even the tip of the iceberg. That’s just the waking up part, not the living, the interaction, the actual pain of being beaten down into yourself into there’s nothing left to hit. I can’t make you understand.”

With that, he stood, throwing his napkin on the table and exited the dining room, and bolting from the house entirely. He heard doors opening and closing behind him and knew that Jared had followed him, which he was thankful for. Once out of the house, he ran to their rental car and opened the door. When he heard footsteps, he threw the keys over his shoulders.

“You drive, I don’t think I can,” he said thickly, turning after he’d tossed them and was both angered and surprised to see Alan had followed him out, with Mac and Jared behind him.

“Thank you,” Alan said and Jensen was given a pause.

“What?” he seemed to gasp.

“Thank you,” Alan repeated walking to Jensen and putting a gentle and tentative hand on his son’s cheek. “Thank you for talking.”

“I…you…I don’t…” Jensen was uncomprehending in the face of a kind and understanding father, who’d he’d spent his entire life arguing with.

“Thank you,” Alan repeated and Jensen didn’t struggle as Alan pulled him into a hug. They embraced for a few long moments before they both pulled back and Jensen was still vaguely cautious, but also teary-eyed.

“I’m sorry,” Alan told him, holding Jensen at arm’s length. “I’m sorry.”

“Alright, dad,” Jensen finally relented. “I forgive you.”

Alan smiled and pulled him into another hug. When they pulled apart again, Jensen saw that the rest of the family and Thomas had joined them in the driveway.

“Well this is a real Kodak moment,” Thomas commented. Slowly, everyone broke into grins at the comment which erupted into fits of laughter. Eventually, when they all calmed Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Okay, fine,” he relented. “I like you, Thomas.”

Mac squealed and threw her arms around Thomas, but Jensen cleared his throat. “Okay, but none of that,” he told them and Mac rolled her eyes but dropped her arms.

They all went back to the dinner table to finish, and the next couple of days went surprisingly smoothly, Jensen and Alan both tentatively testing their reformed relationship. On Christmas Eve, they all opened presents with Jensen and Jared, and Donna prepared a large sack for the presents they were sending with them to Austen for the Padalecki’s. Jensen and Jared went to bed and at approximately two in the morning, Jensen’s phone started ringing. Jensen ignored it, both he and Jared grumbling at it until it stopped. It wasn’t until the third time that Jensen sat up angrily, right as it stopped.

“Who the fuck is calling me?” he growled right as his phone started ringing again, joined by Jared’s on the other side of the bed. Jared sat up and they exchanged a look.

“Something’s happened,” Jared murmured, looking at Jensen’s phone. “Answer it, they called you first.”

“Alright, I’ll put it on speaker,” Jensen nodded, picking up his phone and seeing that it was Chris calling. He answered and began tersely, “Chris, what is it? What’s happened?”

“It’s Charlie,” Chris began and Jensen immediately tensed, Jared’s hand immediately flitting to Jared’s shoulder. “He’s dead, Jensen. He died earlier today.”

Jensen’s vision went white for a moment, his brain not comprehending what Chris had just told him, or how he was supposed to feel about it. Emotions ran rampant through his head and he must have looked slack-jawed because Jared cupped his facing, shutting his mouth.

“He’s dead, and Danny’s in jail. They threw her in jail, and she’s being tried for his murder.”

It was like a wall had hit Jensen in the face. Even though he knew he wasn’t poisonous, the thought crossed his mind that he had, even after so long, even after moving on, eventually infected Danny too.

“We’ve posted her bail, but Jensen…you need to get back here,” Chris sounded frantic. “She’s freaking out, she’s worried about you, of all things. She’s going to be on trial. For murder.”