Your Strength

Jensen and Jared slept for a few hours after their breakfast and a truly rambunctious fuck that was one for the books. When they awoke an hour before they had to leave for the premiere, they were both groggy but rested.

“You ready?” Jared yawned.

“As I’ll ever be,” Jensen replied. He had been grateful that he got a day off in between premieres. Rome and Sydney had been utterly exhausting for him. He hadn’t expected to feel relieved when he landed and took a cab to an empty house. Of course he loved Jared, and missed him while they were apart, but the moment he stepped into the house, greeted only by the dogs, Jensen had felt the anxiety that had been building since Rome explode in his chest. He had to sit on the floor at the door and put his head on his knees briefly, letting the dogs lick his face. It had taken a moment for the panic attack to subside, but Jensen was glad that Jared hadn’t been there to witness it. Of course Jared would’ve been great about it, as he always was, since it wouldn’t have been Jensen’s first panic attack with his amazing boyfriend, but sometimes it was just nice to have a quiet space to deal with his own shit. However, he had been equally thrilled when Jared arrived back from New York.

Jensen and Jared got up and both began to get ready, taking quick, separate showers, and then getting dressed together in comfortable silence. As Jensen tied Jared’s bowtie for him, Jared smiled.

“After this, we get a break. A few long months of regular work,” Jared sighed happily.

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed with a smile. “Until February.”

“I hate that people keep talking to us about fucking Oscar buzz,” Jared rolled his eyes. “It just makes me more nervous.”

“Yeah, I don’t like that people ask us anything,” Jensen grumbled, then smirked at Jared. “Though, if anyone deserves the buzz, it’s you.”

“Not you too.” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Me more than anyone else,” Jensen laughed. “You know, every time we go see this movie again, I think—there’s no one else that could’ve acted my role out better than you. Really. It’s like I wrote it for you, before I even knew you.”

“Fate,” Jared laughed, kissing Jared’s forehead. “But don’t joke, you think Tom Hardy would’ve done just as good.”

“Nope,” Jensen shook his head. “Which is saying something, because you know I love Tom Hardy.”

“I know,” Jared laughed, rolling his eyes playfully.

“Come on,” Jensen chuckled. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

The premiere went about as Jensen expected. Jared made the reporter gauntlet tolerable, and when they got inside, everybody attending he was pretty much familiar and amiable with, and didn’t completely hate. Jared and he had requested tickets to be put aside for Danny, Chris, and Chad, who they were glad to see in attendance. They all sat together and before Jensen knew it, they were all headed to the final premiere party, that Felicia had somehow managed to host at Chris’s bar. Chris managed to talk Jensen into singing—after many shots, and some very convincing arguments presented by everyone. It was, however, the look in Jared’s eyes that truly compelled Jensen to push his anxiety down, if for a moment, to belt out one song. He sometimes reflected that he wished Jared knew him before Charlie, before the PTSD and the anxiety truly set in. Before, sure he had been a little shy, but usually he managed to get himself into a respectable amount of trouble. Jensen felt like Jared would’ve liked old Jensen, which made him further appreciate the fact that Jared liked current Jensen.

The next few months they worked, Jared with Pixar and a few other things he had lined up, and Jensen side-by-side with Felicia working on the screenplay that Felicia was slowly hammering all the kinks out of, editing it nearly to death, with Jensen by her side. Felicia took a month off when Gen gave birth, and their beautiful little girl, named Camille after Gen’s mother, was the most beautiful little baby Jensen had ever seen. Gen forced Felicia back to work after only a month off because, apparently, Felicia was driving both Gen and their nanny crazy with shop talk.

Jared managed to patch things up with Chad and Jensen often came home to Chad hanging on their couch, sometimes with Misha, who was taking time off in between films. Jensen felt comfortable, and was happy, something he was grateful for every day.

One morning, Jared rolled over on top of him with an abnormally sized grin. Jensen was still too asleep to have any sort of connection to reality yet, so his confusion must have been evident.

“What?” he grumbled at the huge man that he loved who was sprawled across his chest.

“Happy Halloween,” Jared grinned, kissing Jensen deeply.

“Is it already Halloween?” Jensen was considerably confused for a moment, stunned at how quickly time had flown by. He supposed it was true what was said: time flies when you’re having fun. Which, he noted, was true. He loved working with Felicia, he loved coming home to Jared, he loved his life—again, after what seemed like far too long. It was sudden and unexpected, how he had stumbled into this happiness. And though he sometimes still had nightmares, and still felt anxious in crowds and with strangers, he was better. He felt good.

“Chris is having the party tonight,” Jared reminded Jensen. “It was one year to this day that we met.”

Jensen smiled, thinking back to what he now could think of one of the best days of his life. “Can we count today as our one year anniversary instead of next week?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jared laughed. “I mean, it was practically a date anyway.”

“Agreed,” Jensen flipped Jared over, lying atop him and slowly kissing him. Things heated up pretty quickly, and before either of them knew what was happening, Jensen was thrusting into Jared while pressing Jared’s hands against the headboard. Jared moaned out Jensen’s name in a long grunt. Jensen adjusted Jared’s leg onto his own shoulder, a position they had recently discovered they both enjoyed thoroughly. Immediately, Jared’s moans evolved into full cries as Jensen rammed into Jared’s g-spot roughly with each thrust. When Jensen exploded inside Jared, Jared’s own cock stiffened and spurted forcefully across Jensen’s chest. Jensen gave a few more thrusts for good measure then slowly slid out and laid across Jared’s heaving chest.

“I love you,” Jensen murmured into Jared’s neck, which he kissed fondly a million small times.

“I know,” Jared replied, and Jensen knew without having to look that he was grinning. “Right back at you, stud.”

“Come on,” Jensen prompted. “Let me hear it.”

“Alright,” Jared laughed breathily. “Knock knock?”

“Who’s there?”

“Ivan.”

“Ivan who?”

“Ivan to suck your blood!”

“Classic,” Jensen chuckled.

“It’s Halloween, it was necessary,” Jared agreed.

“Let’s go for round two, and we can see if you can come up with a better one?” Jensen suggested, kissing along Jared’s jaw line.

“Oh, God, I want to,” Jared replied. “But I have a meeting at the studio, and then I have to run some errands, and I need to take the dogs out first…”

Jensen kept kissing along his jaw, then down his neck, taking a moment to suck on his Adam’s apple. “Oh?”

“And…I need to…” Jared groaned. “Will you take the dogs out for me?”

“Of course,” Jensen purred, licking up Jared’s neck to his earlobe.

“We need to shower,” Jared commented.

“Alright, I’ll fuck you again in the bed, and then in the shower,” Jensen suggested.

“God, denying you would be so much easier if you weren’t so goddamn sexy all the goddamn time,” Jared groaned softly, grabbing Jensen’s chin and lifting the older man’s lips to his own, drawing him in for a long, slow kiss. Jensen tangled one of his hands into Jared’s hair and placed the other, softly, on his cheek as they kissed heavily. Jensen kept his promise, and they had sex again in both the bed and in the shower. When they were finally done, it was late in the afternoon, and Jared was running late for his appointment.

“Alright, I’ll meet you at the bar tonight, yeah?” Jared told Jensen as Jensen walked him to the door. Jared was in his costume, which, luckily, was simply a suit.

“Sounds good,” Jensen agreed, kissing Jared on the cheek as Jared opened the door. “See you tonight. Have fun in your meeting. Love you!”

The moment Jensen watched Jared’s car disappear down the street, he called Danny. She picked up on the third ring.

“Yo!” she greeted.

“Hey, do you have Jared’s present still?” he inquired. He’d bought Jared his anniversary gift weeks before, but didn’t want to hide it in the house, afraid Jared would happen upon it.

“Yeah, but I thought you still had a week?” Danny replied.

“We decided we are going to change our anniversary to tonight, since we met at Chris’s Halloween party last year.”

“That’s not how anniversaries work,” Danny argued.

“Shut up,” Jensen laughed. “Just bring the present tonight, alright?”

“How about I bring it over now and we can prelude the party with a horror movie marathon?” Danny suggested.

“Aren’t you spending the day with Chris?” Jensen asked.

“No, he’s getting the bar ready for the party,” Danny sighed. “I’d just get in the way.”

“Probably,” Jensen agreed with a laugh. “Alright, come over.”

“See you in a few,” she retorted, hanging up.

When Danny arrived, she was already in full costume, dressed as a slightly slutty nurse, to which Chris was going to be a doctor. Jared had somehow convinced their entire group, since everyone was together now, to do stupidly adorable couple costumes, to Jensen’s despair. Misha was going as Dr. Frankenstein, and Chad as Frankenstein’s Monster. Felicia and Gen were going as Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn respectively, and it was their first real night out since Camille was born. He and Jared were going as the Men in Black. Jared had even ordered them the little flash devices, and had bought horrible early 2000’s sunglasses like Will Smith wore in the movie.

Danny handed Jensen the box that held the pure gold cuff links and matching tie pin. The tie pin was monogrammed with Jared’s initials, and the cuff links read, ‘With love, Jensen’ on the undersides. He planned to present them to Jared and tell him he expected him to wear them to the Oscars, because they would match the little statue perfectly.

Danny and he settled in for a movie marathon until it was time for Jensen to get ready for the party. Jensen left Danny watching a movie alone while he showered and got dressed in his suit. They had planned to all meet at the bar around eight. Jared had warned Jensen that he wasn’t sure how long his meeting with the studio would go, and that he had to run errands afterwards before heading to the party.

Danny and he carpooled, and when they arrived at the bar a little after eight, Jensen got a text from Jared: ‘Heading to the bar now, but traffic is horrible so it might take a little bit.’

Jensen replied quickly. ‘No problem. Chad misses you already.’

Jared didn’t reply, but Jensen knew he was probably chuckling and rolling his eyes.

The party was tame to begin with, as Jensen knew would be the case. Usually, Halloween didn’t pick up until closer to ten. It rolled towards a quarter past nine, and still quiet, he and Chris chatted idly.

“Look at us,” Chris admired. “Dressed up in couple costumes. Teenager us would’ve vomited.”

“Agreed,” Jensen laughed boisterously. “I would’ve wanted to punch you. Mine, at least, is not too bad. Yours though…”

“Oh, please,” Chris scoffed. “Neither of ours is as bad as Misha and Chad’s.”

“They think they’re so cute,” Jensen laughed.

“Ugh, if only it weren’t true,” Chris grudgingly laughed, and they both looked down the bar two seats where Misha and Chad were laughing with Gen, Felicia, and Danny. Misha was relaxing back against Chad and Chad had his green painted arm tossed over Misha’s shoulder like it was the most natural pose in the world.

“Who would’ve thought Chad could be tamed,” Jensen laughed.

“Really,” Chris nodded. “Who would’ve thought any of us could be. We…I mean, look at us! We’re all in respectable, committed relationships. It’s amazing.”

Jensen was slow to grin, but when he met Chris’s eyes, he agreed. “It is amazing.”

“You…I’m happiest for you, man,” Chris confided a little quieter. “I mean, I know you don’t like talking about it, but I’m glad you’re happy again.”

“Me too,” Jensen nodded, looking down at his hands. “He makes me happy. I mean…I feel like my old self, Chris. Like…when we spent the summer at the ranch as kids. Like nothing happened…or rather, that I’m finally getting over it.”

“I know,” Chris replied, and Jensen looked up when he heard Chris’s voice break a little and was both deeply touched and a little embarrassed that Chris’s eyes were a little misty. “But don’t give Jared all the credit, Jen. It wasn’t all Jared. You have as much to do with your happiness as he does.”

Jensen was surprised by the sudden thickness in his throat as he stared back into Chris’s unwavering eyes. “I know,” he finally replied. “I know.”

“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known,” Chris smiled at him fondly. “And I’m so proud of you.”

“God, you’re sappy tonight,” Jensen choked a little, mortified that his voice broke. Chris laughed, and slapped his hand onto Jensen’s shoulder, giving him a well meaning shake before letting go.

“I just never get the chance to tell you these things,” Chris shrugged. “I’m just really glad you’re happy, man.”

“Thanks, you too,” Jensen nodded with a grin. “I’m glad we’re both happy.”

Chris opened his mouth, but Jensen’s cell rang out, interrupting whatever Chris had been about to say. Chris looked down at Jensen’s phone and laughed. “Grab that, it might be Jared,” Chris suggested.

Jensen looked at the display, but didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?” he answered, still grinning at Chris.

“Hello, is this Jensen Ackles?” a man asked on the other end, his tone grim. Jensen’s smile vanished.

“Yes, may I ask who’s speaking?”

“My name is Jason Harrison, I’m a nurse at UCLA Medical Center. You’re listed as Mr. Jared Padalecki’s emergency contact, and I’m calling on his behalf. Mr. Ackles, I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”