Your Strength

Jensen woke the next morning feeling better than he had in…well, probably ever, if he was being honest. He was unexpectedly calm now that Jared knew, and that they had talked it out. It was an easy sort of serenity now he knew Jared and he were safe, that Charlie couldn’t break this too. He rolled over and found Jared already awake and smiling at him.

“Morning,” Jared greeted to which Jensen simply offered a small smile. He was glad Jared already knew him well enough to know his lack of vocal ability in the morning.

“No jog?” Jensen offered shortly, settling closer to Jared’s chest.

“No, I was so tired, I thought I’d sleep in and wake up with you,” Jared replied.

Jensen frowned and glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table behind Jared. It told him that it was fast approaching noon. He stretched but couldn’t force himself to immediately leave the warm softness of Jared’s embrace. Jared ducked his head to Jensen’s neck and nuzzled him a little before lighting kissing him.

“This is going to sound incredibly cheesy and probably a little creepy, but I love watching you sleep,” Jared commented. Jensen pulled away from him and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Jared laughed, and explained. “Just because you smile in your sleep. What do you dream about?”

Jensen smiled a little bashfully, resting his head next to Jared’s on his pillow.

“You,” he replied honestly.

Jensen couldn’t see Jared’s face, but he heard the grin in his voice as he murmured after a long moment, “I love you.”

Jensen smiled broadly at this. “You too,” he agreed, rolling on top of Jared and kissing him lazily. Jensen found it incredibly uncomfortable that he was still in yesterday’s clothes, so he pulled away from Jared with a sly grin, and pulled off his shirt and pants. Then he went back to kissing the tall man as he slowly unbuttoned Jared’s shirt. Jensen slid his hands along Jared’s chest once he’d wrestled it open and Jared smiled up at him. Jensen kissed his way from Jared’s belly button to his mouth, taking his time, as his hands fumbled with Jared’s pants. He pulled away from Jared’s mouth to shimmy his pants down his hips and finally all the way off and onto the floor. He pulled off Jared’s underwear and slid his mouth around Jared’s cock, sucking until he was hard and yearning against Jensen’s mouth. He popped off Jared’s erection with a loud pop, making Jared moan. Jensen grabbed the condom and lube from the drawer and started slicking Jared’s asshole, making Jared purr.

“We should probably…go get tested at some point,” Jared murmured through gritted teeth and a smile.

“That’s a good idea,” Jensen agreed, grinning at Jared. “How about later today?”

“That sounds good,” Jared moaned out. “But for you will you just fuck me already?”

“Always with the bossing around,” Jensen murmured with a low chuckle, sliding the condom on and lubing up Jared’s entrance along with his cock. He slid in excruciatingly slow, the way he knew drove Jared mad.

“Pound me, goddamnit,” Jared breathed out when Jensen finally slid all the way in, the head of his cock touching Jared’s prostate tantalizingly.

“As you wish, Love,” Jensen laughed, falling into an immediate rhythm, hard and fast, one hand on Jared’s hip and the other tangled in his long hair. Though Jensen was pounding into Jared, he took his time climaxing. When he finally did, he made sure to hit Jared’s prostate multiple times, making Jared spill his own cum across Jensen’s stomach as Jensen came inside Jared. They slowed to a stop, panting and grinning, kissing as Jensen slid from Jared, throwing the condom away.

“Knock knock,” Jared began customarily, but Jensen’s phone, which he had managed to plug in to the wall socket before passing out on the bed, rang.

“Saved by the bell,” Jensen laughed.

“I love when we have sex in the morning,” Jared commented as Jensen leaned over him to retrieve his phone.

“Oh? And why’s that?” Jensen replied as he struggled.

“Because you’re so delightfully talkative after,” Jared said. “Well…not talkative, but at least not as non-talkative as you usually are in the morning.”

“Well, sex helps wake me up, what can I say?” Jensen grunted as he finally found his phone. He looked at the caller ID. “It’s Felicia. Should I answer it?”

“Why wouldn’t you? If she’s calling on a Saturday while away with Gen’s family, it’s probably important,” Jared replied.

“Because we just had sex. Are we to the point in our friendship with Felicia where we answer the phone post-fornication?” Jensen inquired.

“A) excellent use of fornication in a casual conversation you weirdo,” Jared commented. “And B) she won’t know you’ve just had sex, Jensen.”

“You’re so sassy,” Jensen asked. “Why am I dating you again?”

“Jerk,” Jared laughed.

“Bitch,” Jensen replied, grinning, as he answered the phone. “My dear Felicia, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Promise you won’t hate me,” Felicia jumped right in.

Jensen groaned. “Oh, that’s not a good way to start a conversation.”

“Okay, I know, but just hear me out,” Felicia continued. “I’m sorry. Let me say that straight forward.”

“Okay, well, hold on,” Jensen sighed. “Jared’s here, let me put you on speaker so he can be a witness in case this is truly horrendous news.”

“Alright, that’s fine,” Felicia agreed.

Jensen put her on speaker phone, to Jared’s curious gaze. “Alright, go ahead and make me hate you, Felicia.”

“Okay, so I am so sorry, and I was doing this interview earlier this week, you know, to talk about the movie, build the buzz, all that jazz,” Felicia started. “And the interviewer asked about my crew, about my filming and whatnot, and about the script. So I casually mentioned you.”

“That’s not that bad, Felicia,” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Not to sound too self assured, but I have been written about in articles before.”

“Yeah, I’m not to the bad part yet,” Felicia warned. “And, okay, let me be honest. I admire the hell out of you and your writing and your directorial input, so when I say ‘casually mentioned’, I may mean I raved a little. I got carried away, I didn’t think she’d keep a lot of it, since most interviews get cut a lot. But the interviewer apparently thought it was amazing and unique or whatever, and decided to take the article in the direction of our unique situation with all the pull you have on set and all that.”

“Okay…that’s not so bad…when does the me hating you come in?” Jensen inquired.

“Now,” Felicia admitted. “The article came out and the buzz about the movie has quadrupled. I’ve gotten five other inquiries about interviews…and well, the studio is pleased to say the least. So they…well, they want you to do the premieres.”

“Felicia, I was already going to go to the premieres,” Jensen said. “Seriously, get to the point.”

“You’re not hearing me,” Felicia told him. “I didn’t say go to the premieres. I said do the premieres. I mean, they want you to do the junkets, worldwide. They want you to do the interviews, and everything. They even want to do a private screening in L.A. where all the biggest medias are invited. And they want you to sit on the panel.”

Jensen was silent, his eyes widened.

“Jared, why is he silent? Oh my God, Jared, what face is he doing?” Felicia asked frantically.

“The slowly processing the anger face,” Jared warned.

Felicia made an extremely disgruntled noise. “Jensen, please, I’m sorry! I know you have a thing about public speaking and interviews and all that and I’m sorry but the studio executives think it’s a great idea. They think it will spin the movie a little more than usual, which will be good for box office sales overall, especially since you’re an Oscar winning writer and everything and those are all horrible thoughts, I know, and I’m sorry and I don’t think I can talk them out of it. They’re attached to the idea. At least there’s a substantial bonus in it for you.”

Jensen slowly let out a sigh as he made eye contact with Jared. He could already feel a tiny shred of panic set in. He hated talking in public, he hated being asked questions, especially about his work. He hated it.

“Can he say no?” Jared asked.

“He could, but as I said, they’re very attached to the idea,” Felicia said. “And you may make some enemies that you don’t want.”

“I’ll be right there with you, babe,” Jared told Jensen.

“Yes, right next to you, and you’ll probably not get many questions,” Felicia encouraged.

“Well, I can’t actually say no,” Jensen sighed again. “You’re right, Felicia. I don’t want to make any enemies. This business is pretty fragile.”

“I am sorry,” Felicia said again.

“It’s okay,” Jensen sighed heavily. “You were blindsided just as much as me.”

“But look at the bright side! We’re moving really fast with shooting. We’ll probably be nearly done by the end of next week, and then it’ll go into post-processing, and you guys are free for a few months,” Felicia declared. “We’re rushing the post-processing, so hopefully we can start press and traveling sometime around May, hopefully at the latest, August.”

“That seems optimistic,” Jensen commented.

“Well, I’m an optimistic person, Ackles,” Felicia commented.

“We’ve noticed,” Jared laughed.

“Yes, it’s usually abundantly clear,” Jensen agreed. “Anyway, Felicia. Thanks for the call, but go back to Gen’s family. They’ll hate you if you spend all your vacation time up there talking to us.”

“Nah, they can’t hate me,” Felicia said. “I’m one of the mothers of their grandchild. They have to like me. But you’re right, I should get back, at the very least, to my pregnant wife.”

Jensen rolled his eyes at Jared who laughed. “Bye, Felicia.”

“Bye guys,” Felicia laughed, and hung up.

“Wow,” Jared said. “We’re going to be done filming. This shoot went by quickly.”

“That’s not what you were saying when we put in all that overtime,” Jensen reminded him. “Remember those nights that we got home at three in the morning, then back on set the next day at nine?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess,” Jared granted. “Wow…Felicia kind of worked us hard, didn’t she?”

“Nah, she worked you hard,” Jensen chuckled. “I had it easy.”

“No argument here,” Jared agreed. “Did you like this project?”

Jensen thought for a long moment. “Yes, but I want to say that my judgment is fairly clouded by the fact that I was working with you the entire time. I did like the hands-on feel of having input, though. That was…unique.”

“You were almost like a second director sometimes,” Jared commented.

Jensen laughed. “Okay, I don’t think it was that hands-on.”

“No, really!” Jared argued. “Have you ever thought about directing? Maybe you could be a writer/director. I mean, all you would need is a producer, and Mark was very fond of you. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind backing you again.”

Jensen thought for another long moment. He had thought, very briefly, about being a director, but not very seriously or at length. Jared leaned in and kissed Jensen on the temple.

“Food for thought, babe,” Jared said. “Now, let’s get some real food. I’m starved.”

Jensen laughed. Jared ate more than anyone he’d ever met. “I’ll make breakfast.”

“You’re the best boyfriend a man could ask for,” Jared told him as they both stood and fished new boxers from the dresser.

“You’re too kind,” Jensen laughed.

The rest of the weekend went by very quickly. They went to get tested at a local 24-hour clinic, and would get the results later in the week; though they were both positive they were clean, it was really simply a formality. Jared and Jensen opted to stay in Saturday night, and spent Sunday playing with the dogs at the dog park. Monday, they went back on set and cornered Misha immediately.
“Dude, what happened with Chad on Friday?” Jared demanded.

Misha’s smile was huge and not in the least bit secretive, but still he stated coyly, “I shan’t kiss and tell, boys.”

Jensen laughed. “Oh my God, you two totally fucked.”

“Well…to put it so indelicately…” Misha laughed.

“So, have you talked to him since, or was it a one-night deal?” Jared asked, a little protectively.

“If I tell you, will you promise not to tell Chad?” Misha asked.

“We can’t tell him anyway,” Jensen told him. “We have a bet going on.”

“Alright, then since it’s just between us,” Misha grinned. “He’s still over at my place.”

Jensen and Jared both deadpanned, eyebrows shooting up in astonishment.

“What?” Misha inquired a little fearfully at their sudden lack of humor.

“That’s just…unusual,” Jared said slowly. “I don’t think Chad has ever stayed more than one night at anyone’s house. Ever. Like, even people he’d been dating for a while.”

“So I’m special?” Misha inquired, his cheeks reddening, but he also smiled.

“Must be,” Jensen said. Misha grinned at this, which made Jensen laugh. “Anyway, don’t tell Chad we know. You’ll ruin the bet.”

“Sure thing,” Misha agreed. “He might suspect though. Sorry if that’s the case.”

“Let’s get to work, people,” Felicia called as she entered the set suddenly, making everyone jump a little. “We’re almost done with this baby! Let’s make it great!”

By the end of the week, Chad had come clean to Jared through a text that simply read, ‘Guess I’m a little gay’ quickly followed by ‘But only for Misha, so don’t get any bright ideas, big boy.’ Jared reluctantly gave Jensen the wagered five bucks. The rest of filming went by in a sort of blur, and it ended a few days later than Felicia wanted, much to her dismay. On the last day of shooting, everyone’s spirits were both high and low. Most of the day was entirely Jared’s scenes, so when they broke for lunch, Jensen noticed he seemed a little relieved.

“Okay, everyone, I know sometimes we all go our separate ways for lunch, and feel free to do that, but I’d first like to say a few words,” Felicia called out as everyone started dispersing. She jumped upon onto a prop table and cleared her throat to further get everyone’s attention. “I’d just like to say that I am so grateful to everyone here. Really, you’re all amazing. You’re all the best crew and cast I’ve worked with in a long time. It’s kind of felt like a family, being among you guys. I find you all are brilliant and extremely wonderful people, as a whole.”

Everyone awed and Felicia rolled her eyes.

“I’d like to especially thank Jensen, though,” Felicia continued, making eye contact with Jensen in the crowd. Everyone looked at him, smiling, and Jensen blushed deeply, looking down at his feet a little bashfully before smiling up at her. He felt Jared’s hand graze his back fondly. “Jensen, I know that you didn’t have to be here, and I know that I was sometimes a little neurotic, but you were an amazing help. I am certain that this film would not be as great as it is had you not been there by my side every day. I’m serious. I know that this wasn’t the usual amount of help that directors ask for, I know usually screenwriters just sell their scripts and are pretty much done with it, but I’m so glad you helped us out here.”

“Thank you for having me,” Jensen said back, a little softly, but he knew Felicia had heard.

“You’re brilliant,” Felicia smiled at him enthusiastically. “If you don’t win an Oscar for this goddamn script, I will personally burn the Academy down.”

“Arson seems a bit ambitious, but thanks, Felicia,” Jensen replied and everyone laughed.

“Okay, those are my words!” Felicia finished. “Now, go eat and we’ll meet back in one hour.”

Jensen turned to Jared as everyone dispersed and smiled up at him fondly. “She’s so sappy.”

“Yes, but that’s why we love her,” Jared confirmed, leaning down and pecking Jensen on the cheek. “Lunch?”

“God yes, I’m starving,” Jensen nodded animatedly. The set provided lunch, and today they were serving subs. Jared got his usual gigantic meatball sub, and Jensen his usual BLT. They went and sat on a picnic table alone, knowing others would join them soon.

“Last day shooting,” Jensen said slowly and Jared smiled.

“I love your ‘beat around the bush’ method of conversation,” Jared laughed.

“Okay, fine,” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Let’s go on a vacation. Just for a week or two.”

Jared’s eyebrows shot up and Jensen laughed. “That’s not where I was expecting that to go. Alright, sure. Where did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t given it that much thought,” Jensen said. “Maybe Texas? I miss it. My family has a little ranch house that we could go to, no one’s ever there. There’s a lake, and a boat. One of the neighbors will even let us ride their horses. I’ve been going there since I was a kid. You’ll love it.”

Jared laughed. “’Haven’t given it that much thought’ my ass. That sounds amazing, babe. Where is the ranch?”

“About mid-way between Dallas and Houston,” Jensen said. “And…well…maybe…I was just thinking maybe, if you wanted to, we could invite our families out, just for a weekend? It’s kind of a far drive from San Antonio, so I get if maybe yours don’t want to…but I mean, just a thought. The house is certainly big enough for it…”

Jared was stunned for a moment. “Are you suggesting we meet each other’s families?”

“No…well, I mean, yes…but only if you want to,” Jensen stammered. “I would just as easily like to spend the time solely with you…but if we were already there…and then press on the movie starts and we’ll be traveling…it was just a thought. Forget about it.”

“No, Jensen, babe!” Jared laughed, grabbing Jensen’s hand where Jensen was steadfastly staring at. “I didn’t mean that to sound disapproving or anything. I just…I was caught off guard. That is definitely not where I thought you were going with that. But yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”

Jensen hesitated. “Really?” he asked, glancing up at Jared a little.

“Yeah,” Jared agreed enthusiastically. “It does! And it’s very sweet. Wow. We’ll set everything up. Your family will be okay with my family staying there too?”

“Well, I mean, it was actually kind of my mom’s idea, so I think it’ll be fine,” Jensen admitted slowly. “We were talking on the phone the other day, and she said she wanted to meet you, and then she just kind of went crazy with the idea that we could go on a month long retreat with you and your family, but I managed to talk her down to a weekend.”

Jared chuckled. “Well, tell her I am in full support of a month long family retreat at the Ackles’ Ranch.”

“No,” Jensen shook his head steadfastly. “I will certainly not tell her that.”

Jared laughed. “Why? Doesn’t that sound great? A full month, making our families mingle. Sounds awesome.”

“No,” Jensen said again, but laughed. “I tried to convince here just a day would be fine, but then she pointed out that it was quite a drive, so one day would have to be spent in transit, one day of leisure, and then a second day in transit.”

“All very good points from Mama Ackles,” Jared agreed, grinning. Jensen rolled his eyes at him.

“Again, we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Jensen offered. “It’s kind of weird and unconventional way for our families to meet. I mean, usually I meet your family, you meet mine, separately.”

“I think this is a good idea,” Jared stated with a grin. “I think it will be a bucket of laughs, I really do.”

“Oh, great,” Jensen groaned. “A bucket of laughs. Exactly what I want when I meet my boyfriend’s parents.”

“Jensen, it will be fun!” Jared stated, putting his hands over Jensen’s on the table. “I’m excited now! I hope Jeff and Megan can come. Assuming they’re invited?”

“Siblings are usually included in the term ‘family’,” Jensen replied good naturedly. “I don’t know if mine are coming either, but I can try to force them if you think it will make it less weird.”

“Do,” Jared nodded. “Not to make it less weird, but also because I want to meet all the Ackles.”

“Maybe we could have them come up on separate weekends?” Jensen asked.

“Nope, now I’m attached to the idea,” Jared shook his head. “Whole family get together. It’ll be wild.”

Jensen gave him a scathing look. “You’re not selling this idea to me.”

“It was your idea,” Jared pointed out.

“Yeah, kind of,” Jensen rolled his eyes. “But then again, it’ll be one weekend of chaos, but a lot of time alone.”

“Very true,” Jared grinned mischievously. “How will we pass the time?”

“Fishing,” Jensen replied immediately, holding a straight face for exactly ten seconds, long enough for Jared to snort out a laugh, before breaking into a grin too. “Among other things, I imagine,” he added.

“So what do you think?” Jared asked. “When do you want to go?”

“Well, I think we should stay here for at least a week, just so we can give our friends some much needed attention. But after that, maybe whatever works for the families?”

“Sounds good,” Jared smiled. “I’ll call my mom after we wrap, before the wrap party and see what her thoughts are.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jensen asked again. “Because, again, if this is too weird…”

“Babe, I love you, and I want to meet your family,” Jared grinned. “And I want you to meet my family. And I want our families to meet each other. This is a great idea.”

“Alright,” Jensen said. “If you think so…”

The rest of the day went quickly, which was both relieving and sad. They wrapped around nine that night and everyone ran in for a group hug, much to Jensen’s dismay. Jared squeezed him the most, however, so Jensen made his peace with it. He felt a little light, watching the people who had helped him visually recreate his work smile, teary-eyed, at each other.

When everyone broke a part, Felicia ran to him, openly crying, and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back and felt supremely embarrassed that the tears seemed to be infectious as he blinked back his own.

“You’re a wonderful man, Jensen Ackles,” Felicia whispered to him.

“You’re a brilliant, brilliant woman, Felicia Day,” Jensen replied and she pulled back kissing him on the cheek with a wet grin. Felicia pulled away from him and immediately went to Jared, giving him a huge hug similar to Jensen’s. Jensen saw that Jared’s eyes were a little wet too, which nearly pushed Jensen over the edge. When Felicia left Jared, she proceeded to hug each and every member of her cast and crew. Jensen went to Jared and pulled him into a hug, which Jared returned for a long few moments before they both pulled back.

“I love you,” Jensen told him softly and Jared grinned, his eyes shiny.

“I know,” Jared replied. “I love you too, and I’m so proud of you. None of this would have been possible without you.”

“I think that can be fairly stated about most everyone on the set, Jared,” Jensen rolled his eyes. “Especially the truly brilliant lead actor who portrayed my lead better than I could ever have even imagined.”

“You’re only saying that because I’m sleeping with you,” Jared laughed, but also blushed a little.

“No, that’s just a side benefit,” Jensen retorted, kissing Jared briefly.

“Alright, everyone,” Felicia called everyone to attention. “Wrap party at my house! Be there or be square!”

Everyone cheered and Jensen laughed. “I’m going to miss her,” Jensen said. “I know we’re going to be hanging out with her practically 24/7 again in a few months, but still.”

“Then we’ll have to keep in touch,” Jared said steadfastly.

“Yeah,” Jensen agreed then laughed. “Maybe we should invite her to the ranch too, make it a huge party.”

Jared’s eyes lit up. “We should!”

Jensen saw his mistake immediately. “No, Jared, I was joking,” he back pedaled.

“I know, but why can’t we?” Jared pleaded. “That sounds like so much fun!”

“Jared, the ranch is so out of the way! And that’s just considering it’s far away from the main cities in Texas. Felicia and all them would have to fly to Dallas, and then rent a car to drive for a few hours to actually get to the ranch, then stay for one or two days, just to drive back to fly all the way to L.A. again,” Jensen reasoned.

Jared’s face fell a little. “I want to at least run the idea by them, okay?”

Jensen sighed. “Okay, but make sure you tell them just how difficult it would be. Don’t only play up the fun parts.”

“I know, I’ll make it a fair decision,” Jared agreed, grinning at Jensen. “But imagine if they did come.”

“It would be…” Jensen sighed. “Crowded.”

“But with people we know and like, so not as annoying?” Jared tried, making Jensen laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll give you that one,” he relented.

“Good,” Jared chuckled. “Now, let’s go to this wrap party, lest we be squares.”

“God forbid,” Jensen agreed with a laugh and a fond look at his tall, beautiful Jared.