Chapter Three-Readjustments
Kisuke had let her stay at his shop the night of the fire, and the next day she took the initiative to call her aunt who lived a few hours away from Karakura Town. The first thing that Ami told her aunt was that there had been an accident and that her parents and brother had been killed in said accident. The woman had been silent at first, but once she let the news sink in, she didn’t really seem all too phased about the death of her brother, his wife, and one of his children. She seemed more concerned with the child that was still living, and she made plans to go to Karakura Town the next day to see what she could to help Ami.
Until then, Ami stayed at Kisuke’s shop for another night, and the shopkeeper actually seemed rather happy to have Ami staying with him. That made Ami glad, because she would have hated to impose. She also felt safe in the shop, which was another reason that she was happy to stay there. She spent most of her time by herself, and Kisuke or Tessai would occasionally come to check on her. She had met Ururu and Jinta, but only briefly, and they seemed to be too busy doing chores around the shop to pay her any mind.
Ami’s aunt, Mina, came to Karakura Town the next day and met Ami at Kisuke’s shop. Ami had been shocked when the woman greeted her with a hug, but the woman’s embrace was very warm and comforting, so Ami didn’t question it. Again, the woman didn’t really seem to be phased by her brother’s death; instead, she almost seemed happy for Ami. As it turned out, Ami’s aunt had actually left the family religion quite a few years back. Afterwards she had gone to medical school and ended up marrying an American that was also a doctor. Out of curiosity, Ami had asked her aunt of she had been the firstborn child of her family, but the woman only smiled and shook her head, saying that Ami’s father had been the firstborn of her family. Still, the woman seemed to be fully aware of what Ami had gone through, and she was glad that the girl no longer had to face any of it.
To Ami, it seemed like the spent hours talking. Well, her aunt Mina did most of the talking, but Ami certainly didn’t mind listening to her aunt’s life story. It was interesting to see how things had turned out for her after she had left the religion. It kind of gave Ami hope that maybe one day she would able to have a life like that, a normal one, one that wasn’t ruled by misery.
At the end of the day, Ami’s aunt had offered her a place at her home, but after some thought, Ami declined the offer. She would have liked to spend more time with her aunt, but Karakura Town was her home, and now that her family wasn’t there, she hoped to have a fresh start in her hometown. Mina understood her niece’s reasoning, and she agreed to help Ami financially as long as she stayed in school. She set Ami up at an apartment, bought her some food and clothes, gave her some extra money for any other expenses she might have, and then she left to go back to her own home. She gave Ami a parting hug and wished her luck, and with that, she was gone, leaving Ami to her thoughts.
She was fine at first, but after a while, her mind seemed to keep going back to the fire. She remembered the feeling of relief that she got right after she discovered the fate of her family, and felt utterly disgusted with herself. She knew she had every right to hate them, especially her father, but she knew that just because she hated them didn’t mean that they deserved to die. Her father should have been put in jail for the rest of his life, and her mother and brother locked in a padded room, but surely they didn’t deserve to die.
She felt so conflicted with herself. She didn’t know whether to mourn or rejoice; she didn’t know if she should feel victorious or guilty. She didn’t know what to do with herself. In the end, Ami also realized that she knew next to nothing about herself. She didn’t know what she liked to do, what she liked to eat, anything. What kind of music did she like? What was her favorite color? Hell, what was her favorite kind of food? She didn’t know any of it, and at that point, she felt like she didn’t know anything at all. She was stuck in a state of confusion and she didn’t know how to get out of it.
She was allowed to take a few days away from school in order to “cope” with the accident and her loss, and for the most part, Ami just laid in her bed and stared at the ceiling. She was trying to think of something, just one thing, that she knew about herself, but she couldn’t think of anything. She realized that after fifteen years of being alive, that she had never actually lived, and she knew just whose fault that was.
Only one thing had been salvaged from the ashes of her old home. It was an old picture of her family, one taken around the time that her brother had been born. The old frame had been ruined, but someone had been kind enough to replace it. For the most part, the photo was still intact, except for one spot that had been singed through. Ironically, it was Ami’s face that had been burnt off the picture; her parent’s faces were unscathed, as was her brother’s. Ami found herself staring at this picture as she contemplated how little she had actually lived.
Emotions were not Ami’s forte, so she had a hard time figuring out how she should feel about this new revelation. She knew that she shouldn’t be happy about it, and she definitely wasn’t. She couldn’t really tell what emotion it was that was boiling up inside her, but it wasn’t very pleasant. It was like a raging fire that wanted to do nothing more than consume everything around it. As she continued to think of all the wrong that her family had done to her, the fire kept blazing and growing inside of her until it was a raging inferno. That’s when she realized what she was feeling; it was anger. It was a deep, resonating anger, and it was the strongest emotion that Ami had ever felt in her entire life. She couldn’t believe what they had done to her. She was their daughter, yet they hated her and wanted her dead. No, she would not mourn them. She would not rejoice, either. She would do nothing, because that was exactly what they deserved. Nothing.
Ami crawled off her bed and walked over to the bookcase where the picture was perched. She did not want this picture anymore. She hated it like she hated the people that were in it. So she threw it away. She would get new pictures someday, but certainly not of them. They would be happy pictures and not ones filled with hate and sorrow; maybe if she was lucky enough to make friends, she would take pictures of them. Maybe Isshin and Kisuke and Tessai would let her take a picture of them, so she could have a visual reminder of the people that had saved her that night.
Ami felt a little younger after she threw the picture away. Before, she had felt ages older than she actually was because of her hectic life, but now, now she actually felt like the fifteen year old that she was. She wondered if she looked different, as well; when she looked in her mirror, she noticed some slight differences. She didn’t look as tired as she normally did, and there was a certain light in her lavender eyes that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t enough for her, though. She wanted to look as relieved as she felt, so she decided to get rid of one of the main things that her parents had given her so much grief about: her hair. So, with a pair of sharp scissors, Ami cut away at her lavender locks, feeling more and more relived with every lock that fell.
Ichigo Kurosaki stared at the empty seat in front of him as if it was some kind of monster. He knew that she gotten a few days off from school in order to deal with everything, but he was still worried. He had seen her injuries that night, and he knew that she shouldn’t still be alive. Everyone else seemed to have forgotten, though. Even his father seemed to have forgotten everything that had happened. When he came back home that night, Ichigo asked him where Ami was, and Isshin merely looked at him like he had grown two heads and asked him who the hell Ami was. Nobody seemed to remember seeing the bloody girl run down the street, and that really confused Ichigo.
But, even if it did confuse him, it wasn’t his biggest concern. His biggest concern was how Ami was doing, and with each new day he kept hoping that it would be the day that she would finally come back to school so he would know that she was alright. It was starting to look less and less probable that it would be that day, though. The clock was ticking, and it was getting closer and closer for school to start. Ichigo turned his head and watched as the rain poured down outside. Ironically, it had been raining almost non-stop since the night of the fire, and it didn’t look like it would let up any time soon.
Ami was lost. She was going to try to go back to school that day, but she hadn’t accounted for the fact that she had no idea how to get to her school from her new apartment. She was completely and utterly lost, and it was raining to top it all off. Luck was in her favor, though. Some sweet old lady had been outside checking her mail when Ami passed by, and luckily the elderly woman new exactly which way the high school was.
Ami knew she was close to being late, so she ran like she had never ran before. She refused to be late on her first day back; it just wouldn’t set a good tone for things, and she really wanted things to start back on the right track. She could make it, though. The school was right in front of her, and soon enough she was busting through the front doors like a bat out of hell. She took those flights of stairs like a champion, and she stood outside the door right on time as she quickly pulled her raincoat off.
“Alright, I guess we should get things started,” she heard Ochi-sama begin, which caused Ami’s hand to freeze right as she was about to open the door. Dread washed over the lavender-haired girl. She seriously contemplated going back home and trying again the next, but she decided against it. She might as well go ahead and get things over with. She was hoping that by some miracle, she’d be able to sneak in without anyone noticing her, and even though the door made no noise as she opened it, she still had no such luck. As soon as the door was fully open, it seemed like every eye in the room was glued to her. It was kind of creepy, actually.
“Ami?” Ochi-sama muttered, staring at the girl in disbelief.
“S-sorry, Ochi-sama. I…got lost. I’m not u-used to the area I live in…yet,” Ami explained. Her teacher didn’t say anything in reply, and just kept staring at the girl.
"O-Ochi-sama?” Ami stuttered. With a twitch of her head, the teacher seemed to physically snap out of her trance.
"Sorry, Ami. You just look so different,” the teacher pointed out. She wasn’t wrong, either; the hair that had once gone well past Ami’s waist now didn’t even reach her shoulders. It was cut evenly and straight to the bottom of her jaw all the way around her head in a sort of bob-styled haircut. It didn’t look bad by any means, but it was certainly different.
“I, um, n-needed the change,” Ami told her, trying to give her teacher a small smile in the process. It wasn’t much of a smile, but it seemed to elate the brunette teacher.
“Well, I like it! You’re right on time, Ami, so take a seat and we’ll get started!” Ochi-sama announced, and after giving her teacher a small bow Ami quickly walked to her seat and sat down, apparently oblivious of the orange-haired teen that was staring holes in the back of her head.
Time had never been so avidly against Ichigo. She was finally back, but she’d gotten there so late that he hadn’t had the chance to ask her how she was before class started. And to be honest, he was really curious. But time decided to work against his curiosity, because it seemed as if the minutes until lunch were ticking by slower and slower. Patience had never really been his strong suit, but this was just getting ridiculous.
To everyone else, though, the day seemed to be going by fast. It even seemed to go by fast for Ami, who figured her day would go by at an agonizingly slow pace just because of how much school she had missed. But it didn’t, and it seemed like she could hardly blink before it was time for lunch. Most of her classmates seemed to rush out of the room, but a few, including her, lagged behind.
“Ami.”
Ami turned around, only to come face to face with Ichigo Kurosaki. For the most part, he looked calm, but there was a certain annoyed twitch in his eye. Ami kind of found Ichigo to be intimidating because of the broody way he carried himself, so she hoped that he wasn’t annoyed at her.
“Kurosaki…san,” she greeted, throwing in the higher honorific just in case. Ichigo looked at her like she was crazy.
“No, just, no, Ami,” he muttered. “Just leave it at Ichigo.”
“A-alright, I-Ichigo,” Ami conceded. It felt a little rude to her, but she hardly wanted to invoke any anger from him, so she just went with it.
“How are you holding up, Ami?” he asked her, his annoyed expression being traded for a more concerned one.
"I’m…I’m fine, thank you,” she told him.
“Are you sure? You were pretty injured,” Ichigo reminded her. Ami was quiet for a moment. She had thought it strange at the time, but Kisuke had told her just to pretend like her injuries never happened. He assured her that things would be better if she did, and now that she thought about it, Ichigo seemed to be the only one that had even mentioned her injuries. So, she decided to take Kisuke’s advice.
“What injuries?” Ami asked him. The poor boy looked like he wanted to flip a table over.
"Are you…serious?” he grumbled, with the annoyed look taking over his face again. Ami only gave him a nervous nod in reply.
“What the hell,” he muttered, looking away from his classmate.
“What the hell are you doing, Ichigo? Trying to scare the poor girl?” someone shouted, which did more harm than good since it actually did scare Ami.
“What the hell Tatsuki?” Ichigo asked the girl that had made her way over to them. “I was just asking her how she holding up!”
“Really? Because she looks scared to me,” Tatsuki pointed out. Ami really did look terrified, but it wasn’t because of Ichigo. Tatsuki had been the one to scare Ami when her booming voice seemed to shake her to the bone. She figured she would keep that to herself, though. There was no need to try to anger the girl further.
“Gamo-chan!” The happy cheer cut off any further argument between Tatsuki and Ichigo because it was followed by an orange-haired girl bounding over towards them and Ami.
“O-Orihime-chan?” Ami stuttered. Said girl stood right in front of Ami, gave her a very forced serious look, and proceeded to bow until her face was nearly parallel with the floor.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Gamo-chan,” Orihime told her.
“Orihime, you scared her more!” Tatsuki admonished her friend.
“Hm?” Orihime hummed, standing upright to look at Ami’s face, only to find that the girl did indeed look slightly more terrified than she had before.
“I’m sorry, Gamo-chan! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Orihime apologized.
Ami just wasn’t having too good of luck that day. Usually people never spoke to her, but now not one but three people were trying to communicate with her, and she just plainly wasn’t sure what to do.
“See, it wasn’t just me!” Ichigo snipped to Tatsuki, who gave him a glare that would have stopped a weaker man in his place.
“You little-” Tatsuki stopped her rant when a soft and quiet voice made its way through the air.
“Thank you, Orihime-chan,” Ami finally replied. A large smile spread itself across Orihime’s face, and for the first time in her life, Ami was able to share in someone’s happiness, because a smile broke out on her face, too.
Ami decided to go to Urahara’s shop once school finally let out. If anything, she just wanted to let him know that she was doing fine; part of her doubted that he was actually that concerned about her anymore, but another part of her hoped that one of the men that had helped to save her still cared enough to worry about her. So with that faint hope, Ami made her way towards the shop.
It didn’t take her very long to reach the shop, and once she was standing in front of it she saw that Jinta and Ururu were both outside taking care of some chores. The red-headed boy was the first to notice her.
“Who the heck are you?” he demanded, and Ami just froze. She was certainly not expecting that. She knew that she had only briefly met the two children, but she still didn’t expect them to forget her so soon. She didn’t think she was that forgettable; just how many people were there in Karakura Town with purple hair? She figured it made her stand out like a sore thumb, but apparently not…
“Jinta, it’s Ami-san,” Ururu reminded him, her soft voice barely loud enough to be heard.
“No, it’s not! There’s no way!” Jinta argued. “Her hair was longer!”
Ami wouldn’t have surprised if the boy’s voice had carried all the way down the block. She was standing a good bit away from him, but it sounded like he was right beside of her shouting. She was somewhat amazed, though, at how some people’s voices could be so loud. It made them seem so strong and proud, and she found herself to be a bit envious of them. She liked it, even if it did make her ears ring a little.
“Just what are you two…” Kisuke started as he and Tessai walked outside to see what all of the commotion was about. He stopped dead in his tracks once he saw the lavender eyed girl staring back at him.
“~Ami-chan!” he practically cooed, quickly hopping over to the girl and enveloping her in a bone crushing hug. Once he let the confused girl go, he happily pulled out his little fan and held it in front of his face. Ami didn’t question it; she should have, but she didn’t. She figured any explanation that he would give her would only confuse her even more.
“~Ami-chan, what can I do for you? How have you been?” Kisuke asked her, dragging her inside the shop in the process.
“I-I’ve been fine,” Ami told him, stunned out how he was dragging her to one of the back rooms that was in his shop. If memory served her correct, then it was the same rom that they had been in the night of the fire, which was also the room she stayed in until her aunt came.
“Please, take a seat Ami-chan,” Kisuke offered as he shut the door behind them. It was almost like he was expecting her, because there was a table and a few mats already set in the room; they hadn’t been there when she left nearly a week ago.
“Now, Ami, there are a few things I need to ask you. I would have asked you while you were staying here, but I figured you needed some time to let things set in,” he began, sitting down across the table from her. Ami just blinked and slowly nodded her head. It was beyond her what he had in mind to ask her, but she owed him a great debt, so she would listen to him and answer his questions as best she could.
“This will sound strange, Ami, but I need to know, so bear with me. Do you see spirits?”
Ami felt like a deer in headlights. Any reply that she had for him immediately got stuck in her throat. The world seemed to be at a standstill to her, and her mind was reeling. Was she…not crazy? Was she not the only one that could see them? Could Kisuke see them? What Tessai, and Jinta, and Ururu? Could they see them, too? Was she really not as alone as she thought in this world? Were there others like her? So many questions, so many answers that she needed, yet she could hardly even answer the question that had been asked of her.
‘Is he trying to mess with me?’ Ami thought to herself. Surely, surely he wouldn’t be trying to make a fool out of the poor girl. But there had to have been better ways of doing that. Who just asks something like that out of the blue?
“How long, Ami?” Kisuke asked her. Her silence and the stunned look on her face was enough to answer his question. If he had to guess, though, he’d say that she knew absolutely nothing else about the spirit world.
“I…um,” the girl stuttered. She was obviously having a hard time with this, but if he was going to help her, then Kisuke needed a few answers.
“It’s alright, Ami. Just take your time,” he assured her.
"I-it’s just…It started…when he-m-my father started to…”Ami couldn’t even find the right words to answer him with. How do you tell someone something like that? It just…wasn’t an easy thing for her to do. She couldn’t just come out and say ‘well, you see, Urahara-san, I started seeing the spirits of the dead when my father decided to use me as a punching bag’. It should have been that simple, but it just wasn’t.
Kisuke seemed to understand what she meant, though. The poor girl didn’t exactly have a way with words, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out what she meant when she mentioned her father. Her answer did confuse him, though. Why hadn’t she seen them before her abuse started? What was it about her abuse that triggered her to seeing spirits? Stress did a lot to people, but it didn’t cause normal humans to just start seeing spirits out of the blue. Maybe she had been on the verge of death before, when she was younger, but she had survived and kept seeing spirits afterwards. Or maybe, by some small chance, there was something in this girl’s heritage that caused her to be spiritually aware. He knew he’d probably figure it out, but it would take some time.
“Boss, there’s a customer here,” Tessai called through the door, knocking Kisuke out of his thoughts.
“Right, well, I need to go take care of something, Ami. I’ll be back in a bit!” He seemed overly cheery when he left, but Ami knew that the shopkeeper had something on his mind. He’d been too quiet after she tried to answer him. Maybe there really was something wrong with her. She didn’t know, and she felt like she never would. She was starting to feel lost again, like she was slowly starting to lose the hold that she had just gotten on her life. She needed some air; the room felt like it was closing in on her and suffocating her. She knew Kisuke said he’d be back, but surely he wouldn’t mind if she stepped out for a moment…
She felt like she was going to hyperventilate. No, maybe it wasn’t something that drastic. It felt like there a weight on her chest, though. It was getting heavier, too, and her eyes felt really sore for some reason. When she finally walked out of the room and towards the exit, she felt something wet roll down her face. She brought her hand up to wipe whatever it was away, only to see that it was some clear liquid. She was stunned for what seemed like the tenth time that day. Was that a tear? Was she actually crying? Why on earth would she be crying?
She was so distraught by her tears that Ami didn’t even notice the two people walking towards her until they were almost right by her.
“Oh, I was walking by and I saw this cute little shop and I just couldn’t resist coming in!”
The sound of the woman’s voice hit Ami like a bullet. It seemed to pierce through her very soul, and Ami let out a strangled gasp in surprise. Something happened, though. As soon as the piercing sensation hit her from the woman’s voice, Ami could have sworn she saw a light purple light flicker around her. It was brief, so there was a good possibility that she may have been imagining it, but as soon as Kisuke and his customer rounded the corner, Ami knew that the light had to have actually been there.
Kisuke stopped as soon as he saw her, but the woman didn’t. It was like she couldn’t even see Ami and Kisuke held out his hand as he tried to warn the woman that she was about to run into the young girl, but he couldn’t get the words out fast enough. She didn’t run into Ami, though. No, she instead went through her.
Ami was shocked. Kisuke was shocked, as well. The woman was completely oblivious to it all as she let herself out of the shop. Kisuke just stared at Ami for a moment, before he finally pointed to something on her. The wide-eyed girl slowly looked down, only to see that the light purple light actually had been there, and that it was still there, and that it had emanated from her chest. To be more specific, it had emanated from the glyph that had etched its way onto her chest, right over her sternum, and was glowing through her shirt.
Ami was starting to feel like she should have just stayed at home that day…