Of course Kelley would be the one to get lost.
Horribly, woefully, unfathomably lost.
In the middle of nowhere, mind you, and surrounded by corn.
Kelley's wearing jeans, muddy tennis shoes, a windbreaker, and a frown, as she takes stock of her current situation, squinting her eyes as she thinks about the traitors who had left her here to die. she had been here long enough that she had resigned herself to a doomed fate: wandering aimlessly through this infinite corn maze, alone and abandoned forever, surviving for as long as she could off the raw corn that imprisoned her until the winter frost took away her only food supply. Then, she would curl up on some of the hay bales scattered about and die a slow, lonely death. They would discover her body in the spring when the farmers came to cut down the remaining corn, and her teammates would cry, clutching her cold body, lamenting their decision to leave her for dead in this god forsaken maze.
“We never should have left you!” Pinoe would exclaim.
“Why must the good always die young?” Ali would question, shaking her fists at the sky.
“I love you so so much and you were the best defender I ever had the privilege to play behind!” Hope would cry out.
Okay, so maybe she was being a bit dramatic. And maybe she really should have seen this coming. Because she knows her team’s penchant for games. And the fact that she’s probably been long overdue for a prank (especially if The Great Hair Dye and Sunblock Debacle of 2015 was still fresh in Pinoe’s mind -the infamous incident taking place the last time Sky Blue played Seattle, and while Kelley was already on a plane ride back when her plot came to fruition, she was set on edge for a solid week following, convinced that the wrath of Megan Rapinoe would somehow find her from 3,000 miles away). So Kelley resigns herself to her fate, and ponders the frailty of life as she delves deeper into this labyrinth Satan himself must have designed.
Since the end of the NWSL season, Christie had invited the national team up to New Jersey to hang out, relax, and enjoy each other’s good company before their next camp. Autumn was rolling in and Kelley, who was still living in nearby, had offered up the idea of the corn maze, looking for something new to do and wanting to get outside. The adults had been a bit wary at first, the farm was an hour away, after all, but soon Kelley and the children had nagged their way to victory and so on the 3rd day they all rendezvoused at casa del Rampone and set out in search of corn- or more specifically- the largest corn maze in the great state of New Jersey. Their party consisted of Kelley, obviously, Tobin, Alex, Pinoe, Syd, Whitney, Ashlyn, Ali, Kling, Moe, Abby and Sarah, Boxxy and her family, A-rod and her family, Piercie and her family, and, finally, Hope.
Everyone had been a little surprised when Hope had been one of the faces piling into one of the minivans that would take them to the farm (many had assumed she was going to stay back with Carli and take advantage of some hard to come by solitude), but soon they realized that they should have expected this all along, with the way Kelley was tugging eagerly on the sleeve of Hope’s hoodie, bouncing up and down as she chattered excitedly about god knows what while Hope just gazed down at her, trying to act annoyed but a bemused, sort of adoring smile tugging at the corners of her lips. When they reached the line of no less than five vehicles all crammed into the driveway and against the curb, she finally tore her eyes up from Kelley, where they met the smug and all too knowing looks from the rest of her teammates. Hope looked away sheepishly and pulled her hands a little higher up into her UW sweatshirt. Kelley, oblivious as always, clambered into the closest Grand Caravan.
This had been her idea, after all, and so really she had no one but herself to blame, but maybe if she stretched the truth a little she could pin getting lost in this labyrinth on young Reece Rampone who had so very unfairly started a game of tag, smacking Kelley lightly on the back before scurrying away into the twists and turns of the maze, giggling ferociously.
But Kelley had at least some standards, and so placing the blame on a five year-old was a tad extravagant, even for her, so she paced back and forth in the maze filled with worry and some mild self-hatred.
This was a stupid idea, Kelley mumbled to herself as she walked around and around the seemingly never-ending rows of corn stalks. “This was a really stupid fucking idea,” Kelley repeats, this time huffed under her breath as she quickens her pace to a slight jog, her growing anxiety about her current predicament urging her feet to move faster and to find the rest of her group.
The rest of her group, she remembers, who had seemed to oh so coincidentally have disappeared into the depth of this farmland death trap as soon as she had raced off in hot pursuit of Reece, hollering about how “that wasn’t fair” and “no tag-backs!” She had returned to the spot she was sure they had been last, but the entire legion of soccer players and family members were nowhere to be found. “Reece?!... Alex?!... Tobs?!..,” Kelley yelled, going on and on until she had yelled every player’s name into the abyss, and even little Zoe’s, just in case. No response. “Assholes!” Kelley huffed under breath as she stomped away, swatting stray corn husks out of her face as she set off in search of her friends.
Or so-called “friends” Kelley decided at this point, because honestly, who would abandon her in her time of need like this? Well, she thought, that was probably not a good question seeing as Syd and Pinoe were part of their entourage this fine autumn afternoon, and, if she was being perfectly honest with herself, she probably would have tried to pull these exact shenanigans on someone else today, maybe Tobin or Hope, her usual victims.
But if her 21% charged phone was correct it had already been almost half-an-hour since she had been abandoned and- no no no this was no good at all. Because Kelley loves to pull pranks, but when she’s not in on the joke she’s usually okay, but now it’s been 30 minutes, and she’s all alone in the largest corn maze in the state, and she kind of has to pee, and she’s hungry, too, damnit!
She’s getting frustrated with herself now, because she’s a grownass woman trapped in a corn maze who can’t even locate a group of around twenty adults and children who, when put together, became the human equivalent of a herd of bulls being released into the world’s smallest china shop. And so she should be able to find them, or at least hear them all joking and bickering and laughing with and at each other, or at least catch the sound of Moe falling (for what would be the third time today) into the crunchy grass because she was looking above her, or behind her, or god knows where, and didn’t notice a stray hay bale in her path. But nope, not a peep can be heard as Kelley strains her Irish ears for any hint of a sound beyond the rustle of the breeze in the corn, standing on her tiptoes as if that would ever make a difference.
She decides to call one of her teammates, again. So far she had tried Christie, Lauren, and Boxxy, who she had hoped would have lent her a helping hand, or at least have been the more mature ones, but the phones rang and went to voicemail, and they must have been on silent, too, since Kelley hadn’t been able to hear them through the corn. Bitches. Her phone was on its last few dwindling percentages of battery by now, so Kelley knew she had to be strategic about who she called. Hope was usually always glued to her iPhone, but she would sadly be of no use to Kelley as the blasted thing had ran out of battery after she had let the Ryan and Zoe take turns playing Angry Birds on it for most of the trip up. Syd, Pinoe, Moe, and Kling would probably just hang up on her, wanting to drag out this game of cat and mouse for as long as possible, and Abby probably didn't even have her phone with her, that glorified grandma. She decided her best course of action would be to call Ashlyn. Ash was probably too preoccupied staring longingly into Ali’s eyes to remember to turn her phone’s sound off and would probably pick up. She pressed call. She held her phone to her ear and listened intently, walking slowly now, taking extra care to be quiet in case they happened to be nearby.
Ring...Ring....Ring...Ring…
Kelley thought for a second that she might not pick up either but then-
“Hello?”
“Why hello there, Ash,” Kelley spoke sweetly into the phone, her sarcastically sing-song voice relaying to the keeper just how dead they were all going to be once O’hara could get her hands on them.
“Oh, um, heyyyy Kelley,” Ashlyn said hesitantly and then, feigning innocence, “what’s up?” Kelley could hear the rustle of coats and some jumbled voices on the other end of the line and could probably guess that the rest of the group was huddled around the phone and fighting for a good position to eavesdrop. Kelley smiled in spite of herself, her team was just so goddamn goofy, and she could begrudgingly feel her anger slipping away as she vaguely heard Pinoe whine about how she couldn't see and Syd reminding her that she wouldn't be able to see anything anyway since it was a fucking phone conversation and to hey! stop pushing her out of the way because she got there first!
“Oh, you know, nothing much,” Kelley replied casually, “just in this corn maze thing. I think I may have gotten separated from you guys. Would you happen to know anything about that?”
“Oh wow that, er,” Ash gulped, “that must suck, I wonder how that happened.”
“Yes, I am wondering that exact same thing! Do you think you might be able to help a gal out?”
“Gee Kelley, I, uh, I don't know about that,” Ash continued, seemingly gaining her confidence back and a playful tone being added to her voice. “You know, in the spirit of the maze, I don’t think it’d be fair to the others if I helped you out so-”
“ASHLYN MICHELLE HARRIS! I KNOW YOU'RE ALL TOGETHER AND THAT YOU ABANDONED ME BUT I SWEAR TO GOD YOU BETTER TELL ME WHERE YOU GUYS ARE THIS INSTANT OR YOUR LITTLE FLORIDIAN ASS IS GRASS, YOU HEAR ME!” she heard a cackle of laughter on the other side and then some clearly fake phone static (Kling crinkling a dried corn husk against the speaker, parent-trap style) on the other end.
“Oh dear!” Ashlyn faux-exclaimed, “It seems we are breaking up! I wish -- I-- could help you but I-- what was that Kelley? I can't-- hear you what- was that-?” and then the call ended.
“Ugh” Kelley shouted into her phone, even though Ash had already hung up. She stomped her feet on the ground and cussed out the corn. She looked back down at her phone screen to catch the time, over a full hour she had now spent lost in this stupid maze, just in time to see her phone run out of juice and the screen turn black. She couldn’t do it anymore. her feet were tired, and she felt like she could go her entire life without ever seeing another corn stalk again. She turned on her heel, walking away from yet another dead end when suddenly-
“BOO!”
“AHHHH!”
Kelley must have jumped ten feet in the air as she shrieked like a little girl, an expression of pure terror written across her freckled face. When her feet had finally returned to Earth, she tried to whirl around to face her attackers, but felt something grab her from behind and wrap her up in their arms, effectively pinning her flailing limbs to her sides. As her heart rate began to lower once more, she felt a flood of relief wAsh over her as she realized that no, sh was not going to die her, and that she had just been set up for probably one of the biggest scares of her young life. The rest of the team and their families could now be seen slowly filtering out of the maze itself, like they were all children of the corn or something. But her eyes were still glued to the people directly in front of her, the main scarers. The utterly devious eyes of Syd, Pinoe, and little Reece Rampone stared back at her. Kelley opened her mouth, a glare settling across her face, but the three all pointed behind her as Pinoe shouted “It was her idea! She made us do it! Don’t kill us, please!” Kelley slowly turned around, still held in the now loose embrace of the person who owned one of the voices that yelled “Boo!” and who also owned the pair of strong arms that had grabbed her as she screamed. Her mouth dropped.
“Hope?” Kelley asked, a tad incredulously, and extremely shocked. Hope just looked down at her devilishly, her arms still wrapped around Kelley's waist as she grinned guiltily, but not at all apologetically.
“Hey Kell,” she said nonchalantly, smiling down at the defender.
“You traitor!” Kelley exclaimed, her senses finally returning to her. “You plotted against me!” she shouted, trying to make her voice sound as angry as possible but failing miserably at keeping the shocked smile off her face as she looked at the keeper. Hope looked like she was actually, thoroughly enjoying herself, something Kelley always relished since she knew how stressed and introverted hope often was, even if it was at her expense. That didn’t mean she was going to let her off easy though. She attempted to separate her limbs from Hope’s and wriggle free, but to no avail, hope just hugged her tighter and chuckled, not that Kelley was really trying that hard anyway.
“What do you mean!” Hope replied innocently “We were just coming to rescue you. You didn’t really think we would leave you out here to die, did you?”
“Um, actually, yes. I thought that may have been a real possibility,” Kelley admitted, starting to grin in spite of herself, as the group began to walk back through the maze, Abby and Sarah leading the way to the exit of the corn maze, which, to Kelley's complete amazement, had been only 3 rights and a left away from her this entire time.
Hope laughed, throwing head back a little bit as she strolled leisurely by Kelley's side, her arm now slung around the younger girl’s shoulders as Kelley burrowed her face into Hope’s hoodie and stuck her hands in her pockets. “Awe, i could never abandon you, squirrel, who else would i have to drive me crazy and force me to go on dumb trips to things like corn mazes, anyway?” she joked. Kelley elbowed hope in the ribs and turned her face away to hide her smile and the blush now spreading from her cheeks. “Wow, is that the thanks I get for coming to save you?” Hope teased, her voice soft by Kelley's ear.
“No, that’s what you get for leaving me for an hour and then scaring the crap out of me” Kelley stated simply, throwing her a pointed look.
“Oh really?” Hope replied raising an eyebrow, a sort of challenge. They now stood alone at the mouth of the maze exit, back in grassy field with the tall corn behind them as the rest of the group headed back to the parking lot. Blue eyes met hazel, and maybe it was the adrenaline still coursing through her veins after being scared so badly, but Kelley suddenly felt very brave standing there in hope’s arms with the cool breeze ruffling her hair. So she stood up on her toes and leaned slightly against Hope, placing one hand on her chest to steady herself, and kissed her on the cheek. It was soft yet deliberate and she lingered for just a second there, with her lips pressed to Hope’s cheek, just on the corner of her mouth, Kelley's eyelashes fluttering slightly against her cheekbone as she pulled away, and now it was Hope’s turn to blush.
“That’s what you get for saving me,” Kelley whispered once she had pulled away, her hand still resting on Hope’s chest, trying not to notice the way the keeper’s breath had hitched when she had kissed her.
“Oh really?” hope repeats, but this time it sounds a little choked as she meets Kelley's gaze once more, praying her face isn’t as hot as it feels, her cheek still burning from where Kelley's lips had touched it. But something about Kelley's shy smile, like she’s not sure how Hope will react, makes her feel brave too, and she wants to do something more, but she hears Christie calling them over, so she settles with intertwining her fingers with Kelley's hand that is still lingering on her chest, and giving it a kiss. “Come on Kell, if we don’t hurry up they might really leave us here,” Hope says, starting to lead Kelley towards the parking lot, their fingers still tangled together and small smiles still mirrored on each others’ faces.
“Piggyback ride?” Kelley asks, starting to bounce back up and down again like her usual childish self.
“Of course,” Hope obliges, grinning back at the eager girl, already looking forward to the feeling of being close to Kelley again, and turns around just in time to catch her as she jumps up and wraps her legs around the taller woman’s waist.
“Let’s go, Hope Yolo. I don’t think i’m quite done yelling at Syd and Pinoe yet,” she says as they set off to join their friends. The sun just starting to lower itself in the sky, the very beginnings of a beautiful October sunset poking out from behind the barn, and the crisp autumn chill they feel placated by the comforting warmth of the other’s body heat. Kelley nuzzles her face into Hope’s neck and sighs contentedly, and Hope just smiles to herself and maybe walks a little slower because, god, she could get used to this. And she really hopes she does.