The Only Exception

Waking up to the sound of an alarm has you startled. You don’t normally set Alarms on Fridays because your classes don’t start till 3, but now it’s officially the Christmas break; And today you wanted to be up early enough to prepare yourself for the night ahead.

Okay, So maybe 7am was a little excessive, But there is no hiding your excitement this morning. You reach over and slide your thumb across your phone screen to cut the Harry potter theme music from playing and push yourself up out of bed. You told Carmilla to be here by eight so you still have plenty of time to get everything ready.

As you pick up your clothes for the day and make your way to the bathroom to shower, you start thinking about what Carmilla might wear for the Party. You know her enough now to understand that she’s very laid back and doesn’t entirely care what others view her as -Even if she is incredibly sexy- and a part of you feels like she knows that oh too well.

In a way you’re jealous because you remember how she looked in the morning after she slept over, and honestly.. You couldn’t look that good even if you tried. A part of you still doesn’t understand what Carmilla see’s in you because she could have just about anyone as a Partner, let alone Friend.

Friend. Yup, that word still bothers you; But you have to take what you can get.

And actually, she’s kind of closed off and is super bitchy to almost everyone.. Except you. She just hopelessly flirts with you and makes you feel super anxious all the time. Maybe Carmilla doesn’t like having friends.

Then why you?

--

You finish up the rest of your shower, get dressed, and make your way down to the dorm community room. It’s basically just a lounge that has a very old style tube TV, Two couches that kinda look like the 50’s threw them up, and a kitchen- which is a sink, a fridge and a Microwave.

Once you reach the lounge you notice Perry making brownies in a mug and Lafontaine watching something sciencey while sprawled out on the furniture. “Hey L! Since when do you wake up this early on a Friday?” They push their body up in a sitting position.

“Also it’s Christmas break silly! Aren’t you normally one for sleeping in?” Perry giggles as she walks towards Laf and hands them a Mug. “Yeah, well.. Tonight’s the Christmas party and I want everything to be perfect” You say while making your way to the counter to prepare your hot cocoa for the morning.

“Laura, What are you so unprepared for? You’ve been to many of parties on campus, Plus Danny’s running it and you two are good friends” But before you can answer Perry , Lafontaine cuts in. “Perr She’s been to plenty of parties- yes, But none where Carmilla Karnstein was present” They laugh a little while taking a bite of the warm brownie.

You blush at that. It’s true, you shouldn’t be so nervous for tonight. It’s just a casual night out with friends. One that you are completely crushing on.. But friends none the less. You pour the contents of the Hot chocolate into your Tardis mug and add the hot water from the kettle. “It’s not like that..” Even Laf knows that’s a lie because they raise their eyebrow and nod like they can hear your own thoughts.

“I just know that Carmilla has never been to one of these, And her and Danny don’t entirely get along so I just want it to be a stress free night for everyone. Just drinking and dancing and having a good time” You smile to hide the blush that’s lurking up on you.

“And potentially getting Laid afterwards.” Laf smirks and you do your best to not let that comment effect you. You let out a sigh and join both of them in watching whatever nature show is on.

3pm

Last night was the first time you actually slept soundly in years.

Part of you knows it’s because Mattie is back in your life, and the other part knows it’s because you get to spend tonight with Laura.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. It’s not the party that makes you nervous, Or even being on campus and having Liltia possibly see you..

It’s Laura.

Every time you’re around her you feel this sense of security, Like it’s okay to show her the darker parts of you. You haven’t felt this since you met Ell, but for some reason it’s different with Laura. Her smile shines brighter then Ell’s, Her hair looks softer, and her eyes are filled with such innocent views of the world.

Nothing compared to what you know.

And yet, Laura likes you anyways. She see’s past the sarcastic wall you carry over you to keep people out. She wants you around. She makes you feel like a part of you is worth wanting. Even if this is only a friendship.

Normally you aren’t the type to hide feelings, You get what you want most of the time anyways. Then you fuck it all up because that’s all you know how to do. That thought alone is what keeps you from going anywhere further with Laura Hollis. You don’t want to lose her, So friendship is the safe ground.

--

Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud pounding on your door. Clearly it isn’t someone who knows you well because if it was they would know that disturbing you gets them a ‘meet and greet’ with your fist.

You push yourself out of bed, throw on a tank top and shorts and make your way towards the door where the pounding has picked up. You’re certain now that whoever this is wont have any teeth left in .5 seconds. You unlock the chain and pull the door open with a “WHAT?!” but your vision picks up on Will standing with coffee and bagels.

“Woah kitty cat! Cranky much? I just came to bring you food because I sure as hell know you have nothing in that fridge of yours.” He walks past you and sits the coffees down on the table while unwrapping the bagels for both of you.

“You know not to show up unannounced like that, plus why the fuck are you here so early?” He laughs. “Early? Its 3 in the afternoon Carm..” He must have noticed the way your body stiffens at the nickname and corrects himself. “Uh sorry.. Carmilla.”

“Whatever. You never just show up like this. So.. What do you want Will?” You join him at the table and bring the coffee cup to your lips. “Why do I have to want something? Can’t I just come have a lovely lunch with my older sister?” He takes a bite and you set the cup down. “William.”

He knows you only use his full name when you are either mad or dead serious about something.

“Fine. You ran out so fast last night that I didn’t get to ask you about your recurrence with Mattie.” You let out a sigh while taking a bite. “Carmilla please.. She’s our sister. I never got to meet her growing up but she meant so much to you. All the stories.. I just want to know her.” He’s got a look in his eye that screams desperation.

“If you really must know, She cried. She told me all about how she had been looking for me for years but always came up empty. I was speechless at first. But then we went out for coffee and talked about her work and my music”. You finish off your coffee and stand up to throw out the cup.

“Well what does she look like? Did you tell her about me? Does she want to meet me?” You let out a longer sigh this time. “She.. She looked stunning. Everything I knew she’d become.” You pause.

“Yes we talked about you, And she’s very excited to finally meet you. She knows how important you .. You are to-” but Will cuts you off before you can finish. “I know Carmilla. You don’t have to say it. I know.” He gives you a light smile and makes his way to throw out what’s left of lunch.

You shove him lightly in the shoulder and he sticks his tongue out at you. “Now was that all or do you have another desperation on hand?” He takes your hand in his and gets on one knee “Oh yes Carmilla, Please teach me your way of women” You rip your hand from his and push his head so that he falls on his ass.

“Oh fuck off ” You smile as he laughs while pushing himself up.

“You’re a real asshole sometimes you know that?” You smirk while lending him a hand up. “Well, I only learned from the best” He blows you a kiss and you pretend to gag.

“Okay well I’m gonna head back to campus and get ready for that party going down tonight.” He turns to leave but you interrupt him. “I thought the Zeta’s weren’t aloud at this one since the Summers were holding it?” He looks at you like you’ve just said something insane. “How the hell do you even know that?”

“I have my ways, but still. Answer the question” He smirks. “Yeah well Kirsch and I decided we were gonna show up anyway and if were not aloud in, I guess we will just have to crash it” He looks serious about that last part. “No. You will not. Tonight needs to be drama free for Laura. She’s super excited for it”.

His smile grows wider and your holding back actually punching him this time. “So you’re going then? I knew you and Laura were a thing. Fuck man you owe me 10 bucks” You laugh at his attempt. “I don’t owe you shit because we never bet on shit. Also, we are not a thing. Were just friends” He lets out a prolonged ‘Mhmmm’.

“All right sis whatever you say”. He’s almost out the door before your about to say something that definitely doesn’t help your case.

“Wait, Can I get a ride with you? I want to surprise Laura” He just looks at you and laughs as you make your way to your room to get changed.

Friends surprise each other all the time. Will’s just an idiot. You sigh.

4pm

So the morning with Laf and Perry went well minus all the side comments that you’d rather not talk about.. Ever again.

You all had finished up the show and made your ways back to your rooms when you decided to take a little nap.

(Because who are you kidding? Sleep is like your best friend)

Also you really didn’t need to be up that early. Perry made you realize you were stressing over nothing. You had plenty of time to get things done, so a quick power nap wouldn’t hurt.

Except.. That power nap lasted 5 hours and even though you got up about 30 minutes ago, you were still obsessively cleaning and planning the rest of the night out in your head.

--

4:30pm

You jump at the sudden knock on your door, because one, nobody ever knocks and two, you aren’t expecting anyone. You rest the clothes pile in your hands on your bed and realize you’re only in short shorts and a lose fitting tank top. We’ll thank god this is an all girls dorm. You open the door but let out a gasp as you’re accompanied by a familiar face.

“Hey cutie. Thought I’d come by early and bring you Hot chocolate” She looks you up and down “Buut it looks like you definitely weren’t ready for company so my apologizes.” She lets out a small laugh as you look down at yourself and blush.

“Well yeah.. I kinda took a nap and maybe.. sorta.. over slept” You open the door to let Carmilla in and she grazes past you to set the cup on your side table. “Huh.. And Will say’s I over sleep.” She chuckles while plopping herself down next to the pile of clothes you left.

“Also, sorry about the mess, I was in the middle of hyper cleaning before you ever so kindly showed up”. You lift the clothes and throw them into your wardrobe without a second thought. “Ha. If you think this is a mess, Remind me to never invite you over cupcake” You giggle at that. You’d love to see Carmilla’s apartment, Specifically her bedroom but that’s a thought for another day.

“You play?” You raise an eyebrow while you follow Carmillas gaze and notice she’s eyeing your guitar in the back corner of the room.

“Oh that? Yeah.. I’ve been playing since I was 13 but nobody really knows because I’m not really good at it..” You let out a nervous laugh as you sit yourself down on the bed across from yours.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Carmilla gets up to pick up the guitar and places it in your hands. “Come on, Show me what you got” She smiles but this time it’s nothing but genuine. “I.. I’m really not that good Carm.. I wouldn’t even know what to play. I mean- I did write this song a long time ago for a girl I used to like back home”.

“Well then, Show me. I’d love to hear it.” And as you envision the lyrics in your head you can’t help but think how well it actually fits your situation right now.

You begin to strum out the first verse and decide to just go for it.

My hands wrapped around the stick shift
Swerving on the 405,
I can never keep my eyes
Off this

My neck, the feeling of your soft lips
Illuminated in the light,
Bouncing off the exit signs
I missed

All we do is drive
All we do is think about the feelings that we hide
All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign
Sick and full of pride
All we do is drive

You refuse to look at Carmilla but you can hear her shuffling across from you.

Your laugh echoes down the hallway
Carves into my hollow chest,
Spreads over the emptiness
It's bliss

It's so simple but we can't stay
Overanalyze again
Would it really kill you if we kissed?

All we do is drive
All we do is think about the feelings that we hide
All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign
Sick and full of pride
All we do is drive

And California never felt like home to me
And California never felt like home
And California never felt like home to me
Until I had you on the open road and now we're singing

You end the song and set the guitar next to you on the bed. You’ve never actually played for someone before and Carmilla does this for a career; so it’s no wonder your heart feels like its about to explode.

“You have a beautiful voice.. And you play wonderfully” You finally look up at her and her expression says it all. She looks stunned and taken back. “Well, Thank you. I’ve actually never played for anyone before so you’d be the first one to hear that song.” You smile at her because those lyrics fit so well right now it’s almost ironic.

“I thought you said you wrote it for a girl back home? You never played it for her?” You guys make eye contact then and it almost takes your breath away. “Uhm.. Well no. I kinda chickened out in the end and she ended up dating the guy on the football team. So I guess it was a no win for me anyways” You sigh.

“Well, She definitely missed out.” Carmilla stands up and joins you on the other bed. “I’m honored to be the first one to hear it though. Kinda has a new meaning.” She moves closer to you and you let the words “I guess it really does” Slip out before you can stop them.

She reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear which makes your entire body freeze in place. You can feel the heat from her touch drag across your skin and you want nothing more then to feel that heat everywhere.

But instead, You say “I totally forgot! I need to take a shower!” while getting up to rush into the bathroom. You shut the door behind you knowing you already took a shower this morning; but there’s no getting out of this now. Might as well let some cool water fall on -your now- burning skin. Or maybe that was your desire?

Either way you need to kill some time. You undress and turn the water on as you try to bring your thoughts back to normal.

--

You shut the water off after your surprisingly long shower and step out to the sound of strumming. You quickly wrap the towel around your dripping wet body and open the door ever so slightly so there is only a small gap to look through. Carmilla is cross legged on your bed with her back facing you and your guitar in hand. You’ve never heard the song she’s playing before so it must be an original.

Your heart jumps a little at the sound of her voice once she starts the first verse. You swear it was like singing was made for her.

I know
Days will come and go
Maybe I'll grow old
But I will die

For now
Is it worth it to be sad
If it's harder to be glad
To be alive

But the trouble I have caused
I wonder
Where do I belong
Is it here?

She sounds so fragile in this moment. You’ve never seen this side of her before.

Believe in dreams
You love so much
Let the passion of your heart
Make them real

And tell
All the ones you love
Anything and everything you feel

Laugh about the past
And secretly
Wish we could go back
And save the child

You think about what must have happened to her to make her so closed off to everyone. Deep down you wish she would tell you, trust you with her past.

As I look around this room
Seeing worried eyes that know
It's time we cannot buy
Was this worth the time to write?
Was this worth the time to write?

Believe in dreams
I believe in dreams
I believe in dreams
I believe in you

You open the door wider and walk out towards the bed as she finishes the song.

“That was beautiful.. I loved it” You tug on the towel and remember- that’s all you’re wearing right now. Carmilla jumps as if an alarm just woke her up, and turns to look at you.

“Holy shit Cupcake! Don’t scare me like that. You almost gave me a heart attack” She’s holding her hand to her chest and seems to notice your lack of clothes. “If you wanted to give me a standing ovation, I could have waited till you at least got dressed” She smirks at you. “Although I’m not complaining”

How do you do that? You’re baffled at the fact that she can be so gentle and open one second, then completely closed off and sarcastic the next. “Do what cutie?” Shit. You must have said that out loud.

“What happened to you?” You pause as you try and gather the right words. “How do you go from being so open to completely closed of in a matter of seconds.” You don’t mean to come off strong. It’s really none of your business- But you cant help wanting to know this girl.

“It’s a long story. One I’d particularly like to forget” She sighs and shifts uncomfortably. “You’re totally right! It’s none of my business anyways. I’m sorry.” You respond rather quickly at the heavy mood change. “It’s just, I don’t really know much about you. In fact.. All I really know is that you clearly like leather, You were practically made to be a singer, and you’re a hopeless flirt.. I guess I just want to know more. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too.” You stand playing with the towel around you and stare at the floor trying to hide the desperation in your voice.

“Laura. It’s fine. Really. Please don’t apologize. My past is something I’ve never told anyone” She stands up to walk towards you and raises your chin with her hand. “But, Maybe… One day.. you’ll be that somebody” She smiles and you reflect her actions. There’s something about her that you cant quite put your finger on, But hopefully one day she’ll allow you to piece it together.

“Now are you gonna go get dressed or stand here and freeze?” You laugh nervously not having realized you’ve been shivering. “Yeah, Give me a minute” You make your way back to the bathroom and shut the door to change.

--

8pm

“So what are you wearing to the party?” You ask Carmilla like you don’t already know. “Clothes.” She responds and you scoff. “You’re sooo funny. But seriously, do you have a costume?”

“Do I strike you as one to wear costumes? Cause if so I really gotta step up my game here” You smile and shake your head while grabbing your costume out of the wardrobe and making your way to the bathroom to put it on. “Yeah yeah, Broody pants. I kind of figured anyways-- Oof” You’re interrupted by a blow to the back from a pillow.

“My pants are not broody.” You reach down to grab your yellow pillow and throw it back so it hits her square in the face. “Heeey! Rude.” You both laugh as you reach the bathroom to get ready.

Carmilla has a soft side. You’re certain that you’re the only one who sees it though. She’s like 50 things put into one and every time you’re with her, you seem to find out something new. You care about her, in a way you’ve never cared about anyone before. It’s been a month now and everything about her makes you crave her. Maybe tonight will change all that? Maybe you can just tell her how you feel-- No, you have too.

Fuck being Friends.

--

8:20pm

“Uhm cupcake didn’t you say we needed to meet the ginger twins at 8:30?” Carmilla shouts to you from the other side of the bathroom door. You can’t help the sweat building up on your palms. You bought this outfit to impress and you only hope that’s what it does.

You reach for the handle and enter the bedroom in your very short dress. Carmilla is looking at your book collection. “Yeah, Sorry. I’m ready.” Your heart is beating a mile a minute.

“Uhm, Okay. Sooo, that’s officially the best surprise I've ever gotten” She pauses to fully inspect your outfit and you cant help but blush. “Jesus Christ Laura. I’d sit on your lap any day.” You bite your lip and rub your palm down your dress before saying “That can be arranged.”

Your comment seems to take Carmilla back a bit because you notice her eyes light up and the slow smirk that’s forming. You promise yourself that this time you wont run away. This is it. Just kiss her, You can do this.

You take one step towards her before Lafontaine comes barging into your room. “Are you fucking kidding me” You say those words under your breath so neither of them over hear it.

They look at the both of you. “Shit, I did it again. Im sorry kiddos. But there will be plenty of time later, Right now we need both of you over at the summers helping set up!” They give you an apologetic look as Carmilla is gathering both of your things and putting her shoes on.

“Lafontaine, Have I ever told you how much I just adore you.” You give them a smile which they understand is filled with rage. Carmilla Laughs and makes her way towards the door while you follow close behind.

They’re right though. There’s still plenty of time.