Prologue
PROLOGUE
His hand brushed lightly against hers, so lightly that she thought for a moment she’d imagined it, that the anticipation growing inside of her veins was putting her on edge. But his hand was there when she glanced down, his fingertips grazing over her own so slowly that this time, she knew it was no accident.
There was a deliberateness to his actions that caused that foreign part of her to stir again. His breath was warm on her neck and soon her back was flush against his chest. They’d been this close before, in less intimate ways. But this was something different. This was something unexpected.
“Stay,” he whispered and the ache in his voice mirrored the agony in her chest.
She couldn’t stay, they both knew that.
And yet here he was, his hand against hers, gripping it with slight desperation, his breath on her skin and he was asking - no, he was telling her - to stay. Staying wasn’t an option now, she reminded herself with her eyes shut tight. She wanted to ignore it, the feeling that rushed through her at his nearness, at the sound of his voice and the way he’d said the simple word as if he truly meant it.
Maybe he did, she allowed herself to wonder.
She wanted to stay. He needed her and he could hear that hanging on the slight catch in his throat. But things were different now. And no matter how much he needed her it wasn’t the way she needed him. There would always be that hesitation there, hanging above her; a barrier between them that would be forever keeping them at arm’s length.
She couldn’t stay, she told herself again, ignoring the way his fingers tangled between her own and now the ache that had been so heavy in her chest rose steadily until it lodged itself in her throat. She swallowed hard but the lump of sorrow did not move. If possible, it only grew larger. Soon it would burst out and everything she was bottling up would be on display for him to see.
And that she could not bear.
She willed herself to step away from him so they were no longer touching. She did not look back at him as she stepped outside, out into the rain as the sky opened up in the same turmoil that was swirling around within her.
And then she said it.
“No.”
It left an immediate void inside of her, the word, which had been said just as simply as his. It had the power to crush everything inside of her as she walked away. And this time, she didn’t look back.