Chapter 42
''Ooh, hey, hey, hey!'' Murphy lifts his hands up in surrender the moment we step into the Drop-Ship. I follow.
''It's just us!''
''Murphy,'' Bellamy frowns at the realization, lowering his gun, ''What's he doing here?''
''I believe I was invited.''
''We could use extra guns,'' I say, ''Raven's idea.''
Bellamy looks to Raven, she shrugs, and he nods with an accepting ''Might be a good idea.''
''Finn should've been right behind you,'' Raven frowns in worry.
''Don't worry. The spacewalker's gonna be fine,'' says Murphy.
''Where are they?'' I ask.
''I keep checking,'' she shakes her head, hugging her arms, anxious, as Bellamy lets a hand ghost over and around my shoulders for one gentle squeeze of my upper arm, ''Still no sign of them.''
''They're probably just making sure they're not being tailed,'' I say, trying not to let my mind go scary places, ''You know, staying safe.''
''Any trouble with you two?'' Bellamy asks.
''No. No Grounders west of the camp,'' I shake my head.
''And back at camp?''
''I don't think they know yet,'' replies Murphy.
''I managed to buy us a bit more time,'' I explain.
*
It's hard to tell how long we've already been waiting - time has a way of stretching when you sit and wait in fear. Murphy is the only one seemingly calm, whereas Raven can't stop pacing around, her limp almost unnoticeable now with all that fright and adrenaline. Bellamy parades near the entrance, peeking out every now and then to check. I try to sit still and hug my knees to calm myself, but can't help getting up on my feet every other moment to get most of the feeling back into my feet. I am too antsy to sit still and too afraid to relax.
And then they come, Finn carrying an unconscious Clarke in his arms.
''What happened?'' Bellamy and I jump at the same time. There is blood on her head!
''A Grounder,'' Finn explains, breathing heavily, ''Hit her on the head.''
''Here, put her here,'' Murphy urges, quickly pulling over some old tent canvas for her to lie on. We help lower her down gently - she doesn't seem to bleed too heavily, but it's still an open gash that needs to be cleaned.
''I need a bandage, a rag, anything!'' Bellamy demands. It's Murphy again that's come up with something first, pulling out a piece of cloth - ''Got it! Here.''
''Hold her head.''
Murphy obeys, putting his hands gently below Clarke's head, keeping her wound protected. It's kind of a mesmerizing sight - Murphy caring for someone. Vaguely familiar, like a fading memory.
''Clarke, can you hear me?'' Bellamy calls out to her.
I kneel right next to her, moving Bellamy just a bit out of the way. Murphy still holds her gently as I pull out my water bottle, splash some water on my hand and bring it to Clarke's forehead and neck. She stirs a bit.
''Clarke,'' Bell calls again, ''You're gonna be fine. You just need to rest.''
I bring some water to her lips, careful not to pour too much and make her cough it up - she seems to be half-asleep now.
I turn around to look at Finn. His entire body is shaking. Even after worse things that have happened, I've never seen him quite like this. And whatever Raven has told him makes him storm right out. She can't help but follow - he doesn't look fit to be alone.
*
Raven must have managed to calm Finn down, because they are back after a while, and Finn looks back to his senses. She takes over in tending to Clarke so I can step out and join the guys for the watch-out. Finn is checking on Clarke just about every other minute hoping she'll wake up. When Raven comes out to join us, we know Clarke is back.
''Let's just give them a moment,'' she grins. I nod with a smile, my eye back through the rifle's scope, back to scanning the woods.
Bellamy and Murphy had brought out some fallen logs earlier to use as cover - they won't serve well as shields seeing as arrows could probably penetrate the hollow parts, but at least we can duck behind and try and remain unseen, should it come to it. They serve us well for now.
The Grounders know Finn is on the run now, there is no doubt about it. And they had to have figured out where he would go by now too. It's just a matter of time, and my insides are twisting in anxiety again. Waiting is always the worst. We're all crouching in position, guns ready. It won't be too long now. It can't be.
And then I see it - black silhouettes out in the distance, skulking through the trees and bushes. My blood freezes, and all I can say is a breathy ''Bell-''
He's seen it too - of course he has, ''We got company!'' he shouts, ''Get out here!''
Finn and Clarke run out to join us, guns in hands, ducking in their position.
''Get down,'' Bellamy warns, as though we need the warning, ''Grounders.''
''We're surrounded,'' Clarke quickly realizes.
Surrounded is the word. East to west, I scan the treeline. My breath gets caught in my throat at the realization of the big picture. We may have guns, but we don't have infinite ammo. And by their numbers around us, we'd need a whole lot. And that whole lot would make for an act of war, and no one at camp would be safe for a single moment longer, no warning.
Choose wisely.
*
''They're not attacking,'' I realize after a while.
''Testing the ground,'' Bellamy suggests.
''Or giving us another chance,'' Murphy drawls.
We can hardly see anyone anymore. If there is one thing the Grounders are good at, it's camouflage. I remember everything Rand has taught me. You have to know when stealth is your best friend.
''We need to get back inside,'' announces Bellamy.
*
Every now and then you can see a Grounder in the distance, visible for only a moment and then gone back into hiding. We need a good plan, and until one is formed all we can do is take peeks from behind the Drop-Ship curtain to make sure none of the Grounders are coming closer. None of us want to end up dead after being snuck up on.
''They're not moving any closer,'' Murphy confirms after another check.
''Staying out of range,'' Bellamy explains, ''Probably waiting until it's dark.''
''If we hit them now, at least we'd take them by surprise,'' Murphy argues.
''Hit them now? If we just hit them now, no one back at camp is safe,'' I say, ''We gotta think our way through this one.''
''Besides, we don't even know how many of them are out there,'' Clarke shakes her head.
''I'm not hearing any better ideas, y'all,'' Murphy states.
''We'll give them something,'' says Raven.
''All they want is Finn,'' explains Bellamy again.
''Finn wasn't the only one at the village.''
''What are you talking about?'' Clarke asks her.
''Raven, hold on,'' Bellamy defends, and then it dawns on me, too slow.
''You can't be serious,'' I scoff.
''Whoa, whoa, whoa; Raven, I came here to protect him!'' Murphy argues, ''You were the one who wanted me to come! You-,'' - he pauses a moment only to realize, then gives a smile of spite and disappointment, nodding, ''That's why you asked me to come along.''
''No, no, no, that wasn't the plan!'' I say, because she had told me, she had invited us to come together as back-up; what the hell is she on about now?!
''Enough Grounders saw him at the village, they'd believe he was the shooter,'' she says, determined, and I hear Murphy mutter something like ''Sick bitch''. I barely catch it as red fury takes over me.
''You need to back the fuck off,'' I growl, voice low and level and as threatening as I ever sounded.
''Raven, you don't mean this,'' Clarke begs.
''You know what they do to people!'' Bellamy argues.
''They want a murderer, we'll give them one,'' Raven says, and then she cocks a gun at Murphy, ''Drop your gun.''
Murphy steps up toward her, completely resigned, staring down that gun barrel like it's nothing. ''Go to hell, Raven.''
''We're not pointing guns at each other,'' I say, but propping my own up at Raven, ''But you're not giving me a choice right now. Put it down.''
She doesn't even blink let alone look away from Murphy or move the gun.
I can't shoot Raven, not really. The instinctive thing to do would be to shoot at a limb to disable the shooter and save the victim, but she already has one limb disabled, and that's courtesy of Murphy no less. What the fuck are we doing?!? She wouldn't kill him either, the Grounders want the murderer alive. But would they refuse a dead 'culprit'? I can't think, I can hardly keep my heartbeat steady and my hands still. Raven isn't doing this. I am not doing this.
''Put it down, Raven,'' Clarke begs, ''Put it down, both of you.''
''Her first,'' I say.
''Like it or not, he's one of us!'' Clarke turns to Raven, eyes wide. I don't want any of this. How did we come to this?
''Please,'' Bellamy speaks to me quietly, close to my ear, maybe afraid to take the gun away from me too hastily, I don't know, but I know that I can't, not until she lowers her gun first - I can't.
''Her first!'' I shout this time.
But Raven stands unwavering still.
''I said... drop it,'' she growls at Murphy again, and just as she's about to let the barrel of her gun meet Murphy's neck, and I'm about to get ready to do something stupid, Finn steps in and takes hold of her rifle shouting ''Stop! Stop!''
The next thing I know is Bellamy's hands over mine and my rifle then in his hands and my hands feeling cold and half-numb and my breathing too heavy. I could have cried again if my mind wasn't on survival mode right now. I sure as hell feel like crying.
I have just aimed my gun at Raven. At Raven. I've always been the responsible one around, the one that always made sure to keep an eye on any loose cannon. Am I becoming one?
''We're not doing this,'' Finn says, ''They've got us surrounded. The only thing we can do is stay. And defend this place.''
''I'm with you,'' says Bellamy, and we all give a nod of agreement in turn.
''Murphy?''
''Yeah,'' he says, but I could swear my life on it - he's ready to cry too. Murphy is on the verge of tears. That whole thing had to have stung, and I feel ready to burst, but I didn't expect to see his eyes glisten.
''Go upstairs. Watch the rear,'' Finn orders, ''I'll take the lower level. You four, take the front gate. That's the plan. Alright?''
Nodding in agreement again, Murphy climbs up first. I look to Bellamy. He looks half-angry half-worried about me. I don't know which half I hate more. He takes a moment, like he's contemplating whether to give me the gun back or not, but of course he has to. Or maybe that moment is all in my head, but it fucking pisses me off. I'm not just going to shoot up the damn place! And I wasn't the one that pulled the gun out first either! Why is he looking at me like I am the loose cannon?!
His eyes soften when he hands me the rifle, his hand lingering on it a moment longer. Whatever he tried to communicate, there is no need for it. I take the damn thing and step out, ducking swiftly behind the log on the eastern side of what once was our camp.
I do what I have to.
*
We're in position, but I can't see any Grounders at all now, not even as silhouettes in the distance. That's worrying.
''You see anything?''
''No.''
''I don't like this,'' I voice my thoughts, but ignoring the nervousness in my stomach.
And then, in just another moment...
''There!''
I aim before I realize what I'm aiming at.
Finn Collins stands outside the remnants of our walls, hands in the air. Clarke has to have said something, shouted something, then someone else shouts too, but I can't hear it, I can't hear anything, I can't breathe.
Finn just stands there, terrified, and in another moment hands are on him, and Grounders have taken him away.