Chapter 35
''The Reaper tunnels,'' Clarke points on the map, ''Are still our best chance of an exit.''
Bellamy shakes his head, ''It's too damn risky.''
''Well, what about this one,'' I point to the west wing, ''You said they don't use it much. The manned security shouldn't be as tight. We blow it open.''
''All of those doors withstood nuclear war,'' Bellamy argues.
''We said as much about the bridge,'' I insist, ''Maybe Raven could do it.''
''No way,'' Clarke shakes her head, ''Even if she could, the west wing's way too off. The Mountain Men will be back on their feet and fighting back by the time we even try to get to our people.''
''So you suggest a stealth mission,'' I say.
''Hey, what's with your arm?'' Bellamy asks as he clasps my wrist. With my sleeves rolled up you can see the new, fresh bruise forming on my right forearm.
''Hm? Oh. Octavia,'' I shrug off with a smile, ''She's kicking my ass, but I'm learning.''
Bellamy looks at me with a worried frown, as though his sister continuously getting bruised up has been enough on his plate, without me added to it. He opens his mouth wanting to say something, but instead he says:
''I'm gonna get drinks.''
''What about the tunnel,'' I ask, ''The tunnel they use to dispose of the bodies?''
''I don't think so,'' she shakes her head again, ''Too steep and slippery, and it goes too high up for anyone to be able to latch onto something.''
''Crap.''
''It's a labyrinth,'' Clarke says with despair, ''We got to the dam through this tunnel. It's all connected to the mine system. That's our way in and that's it,'' she insists.
''Sure, if we can get past the Reapers and the Mountain Men,'' Bellamy says upon his return, ''I swear to God, if your mom doesn't sanction a mission soon, I'm going by myself.''
''You won't be by yourself,'' Clarke assures him.
''How's Finn doing, anyway?'' he asks.
''I haven't talked to him since we got back. I don't know what to say. He just... kept shooting.''
''Maybe you should,'' I suggest.
''We're at war, Clarke,'' Bellamy reasons, ''We've all done things.''
As though summoned, Finn appears. ''Hey.''
''Hey,'' Clarke replies awkwardly. I pull out a chair for him. I can't stand seeing him just stand there looking like he's ready to fly right out of his skin and into outer space.
''I'm gonna get you something for that bruise,'' Bellamy tells me, getting up, ''It's a splinter in my eye.''
I almost snort.
''Mount Weather?'' Finn asks once he sits and sees the map, ''What's the plan?''
''Still working on it,'' Clarke replies curtly.
''Ah! Check it out,'' Murphy announces his arrival out of nowhere, pulling up a chair himself - I can smell the scent of moonshine from his cup, ''Salvaged Monty's still from the drop ship. Now, I guess, you know, if they could just salvage Monty, huh?''
''What the fuck are you doing here, Murphy?'' I growl. Why does he have to be an asshole and piss me off? Does it feed his soul in some sick, twisted way? I could punch him. I could honest-to-god punch him right now just enough to draw some blood and get arrested. It's the thought of getting arrested again that calms me, mostly.
''Easy! It was just a joke,'' he raises up his hands in surrender - he's in a mood too good for my taste, ''Ok. You, uh, told them we were cleared?''
''No.''
''Well, it looks like our pardon for surviving includes our time on the ground. Now bigger fish to fry, I guess,'' he shrugs.
''We did what we had to do,'' Finn says, defeated, as though he's said it a million times by now, ''I gotta go.''
Murphy whistles as he watches Finn go, his entire being consisting of nothing but sarcasm. ''Trouble in paradise?'' he asks.
''Just because they pardoned you doesn't mean I have,'' Clarke retorts.
''Clarke!'' Raven rushes up, then spits a ''Beat it, Murphy!'' when she sees him sitting there with us. I am surprised he doesn't argue but just obeys like a puppy. Maybe he really does feel bad about her leg. ''Well, then, have a good one,'' he only says, complying.
I can't read him anymore, and that just makes me even more nervous about this whole Murphy-is-back thing.
''What is it?''
''I know why we haven't heard from any of the other Ark stations. Mount Weather's jamming us.''
''What?'' we ask in unison.
''Show me,'' Clarke urges, before they both rush away to Raven's little workshop. I decide to stay and wait for Bellamy to fill him in on it.
''Where'd everyone go?'' he frowns when he places the ice cubes wrapped up in a rag gently on my arm. I hiss; the cold of it is almost painful.
''Clarke went with Raven, it seems like she figured out the radio problem. Mount Weather's been jamming us.''
''Wha- How? If they can do that then-''
''Yeah.''
*
Clarke and Raven seem to have managed to get through to Abby, because the next day she is marching with us to destroy Mount Weather's radio tower. I can hardly believe it, really, what with Abby literally fighting us every step of the way. Maybe it's the fact that Mount Weather literally crashed that Exodus ship that has convinced her.
I don't question it. I'm just glad my dad isn't making too much of a fuss about it, and once he realizes he can no longer really forbid or allow me anything, he is content with at least getting the permission to come with us. Not that he's particularly needed since we won't be doing anything constructive but blowing up things. Either way, it's an extra gun. I just hate the feeling of having to watch out for him. It's a weird feeling, what with him having watched out for me all my life. But my dad and Abby and everyone else's parents that came down do not know the Earth the way we do. They think they're still our protectors, but the roles have half-reversed the moment they came down. They just can't see that yet.
At least we're finally doing something, and that's enough for me. What I do question about the whole thing is taking Finn with us. He was pardoned and cleared and all that, and I am okay with him, but he doesn't seem to be back to himself yet. Putting a gun back into his hands doesn't seem like the smartest idea, as much as I want him to know he's still trusted.
On the other hand, he's our best tracker.
Octavia seems to be reading my thoughts.
''I can't believe they let Finn come,'' she says as we hike, next to each other.
''He's the best tracker we've got,'' I explain, ''And if we split up, I won't be enough.''
''Don't forget to look up,'' Bellamy reminds everyone, ''The Grounders use the trees. That's how we lost John Mbege.''
Everyone looks to him, nodding in understanding. That rifle now looks more natural in his hands than in any of the guards'. The simple way he walks - sure but alert - shows that he knows what he's doing and what he could be dealing with any moment now. I think the others see that - Abby, my dad, the guards. I think for a split moment there they finally realized we might actually know what we're doing down here, and Bellamy most of all. I feel so irrationally proud of him in that moment, I can almost feel my chest physically swell with it. He's come such a long way.
''To think you hated his ass once,'' Octavia nudges me with a smirk on her face.
''I never hated him,'' I almost roll my eyes. She chuckles with a nod of surrender.
''You're good for him,'' she says, ''What we've done to survive, it's hardened us all. You keep him... him. No matter what happens out there and no matter what we come back from, with you there he just... shrugs it off his back.''
I don't know what to say to that, mostly because - in my eyes - she's right, only in reverse. Bellamy keeps me soft. Bellamy makes my rough edges invisible. He helps me heal my scars.
''He's good for me,'' I only say. A small smile still plays on Octavia's lips, but she doesn't push the topic.
We walk for hours, watching our footing and sipping on water and staying aware of the treelines. The sun seems to be quicker at getting down, reminding me of the impending winter we can barely prepare for in the midst of everything happening. We walk and walk and walk, until the Blake siblings decide to reveal their master plan to me as we fall back behind the others.
''Listen. Babe,'' Bellamy tells me as we walk, barely above a whisper, but the tone of his voice makes me nervous immediately - I know something's up, ''This is it for us. We're gonna slip out. O and I are going east. We're gonna try and find another entrance to the mountain. You have to cover for us for a while.''
''What are you talking about?''
''We have to do th-''
''I know we have to do this, but you're not doing it alone! I can't believe you!'' I hiss, ''I'm coming with.''
''Tasha, we need the rest not to notice until we've covered enough ground,'' Octavia says, ''We can't do that without you.''
''O, trust me, they'll notice pretty damn soon anyway,'' I argue, ''I can't believe you thought I'd let you go without me. You should have told me about this sooner.''
''Tasha-,'' Bellamy starts.
''Listen to me, Bellamy Blake. I'll be damned if we're parting ways willingly ever again. You hear me?''
He looks torn, like he's deciding, like I haven't made up my mind. He looks hesitant, but also soft. Soft at my stubborn display of affection.
''Well whatever we're doing I suggest we do it now,'' Octavia urges, looking ahead. None of our people are looking back on us. It's now or never.
''Come on!'' Octavia slips away into the trees, back bent, almost on tip toes. Without another second of hesitation, we have to follow.
We rush away in complete silence, minding where we step, trying to cover as much ground as we can before anyone figures out we're gone. Bellamy is tailing us and checking if we're being followed.
''We're clear,'' he says, ''I think we're safe for now.''
I can literally see the tension leave all of our shoulders as he says that. Straightening up a bit, we still keep to the growth and shadows, but we walk more freely.
''How long until Abby sends the guards after us?'' I ask.
''Hopefully too late,'' Octavia says, using her machete to cut some of the growth away from our path. Creating shortcuts isn't the easiest way of moving about, but it's the safest, most concealed way for us now.
After a while we've made it to the area they meant to explore, though we're now out in the open. Instinctively like breathing, I have an arrow at the ready - pointed down at the ground to be sure, but ready.
''According to Clarke, before the bombs, there were buildings everywhere here,'' Bellamy says, ''I'm guessing some of them had access to the bunker. So we're looking for ruins, anything that's man-made, ok?''
''Hey! Blake!'' someone calls, and when the guards appear out of the bushes I don't mean to have my arrow trained at them, I really don't. It's so instinctive, as I turn around, the very realization of it really scares me. But for some reason, I'm not putting it down either.
''Let's go, right now,'' one of the guards says. I realize I don't know either of their names.
''In case you've forgotten, we're not under your command,'' Bellamy replies.
''Don't make us do this the hard way,'' the guard insists, turning to me, ''Put that bow down!''
''Not until you walk away,'' I say.
''Come on, Scott, 47 of our people are prisoners in this mountain,'' Bellamy argues.
''And that's why we're out here!''
''Wrong,'' I say, not moving my bow yet, ''You're out here to find other stations of the Ark. We're out here to try and find our friends. Now we should all go back to our respective tasks.''
''Guys,'' Octavia calls, barely above a whisper. I look to where she's looking, and when I realize what I'm seeing, my hands lower my weapon by themselves.
Critters, and hundreds of them, swarming.
''What are they doing?'' Scott asks.
Running.
''Acid fog,'' Bellamy says it just as I put it together, ''We need cover, now!''
I fumble for my pack immediately - the small tent cover could see us through. I can see it approaching now, the familiar menacing yellow mist. It's coming faster and faster, and faster than I remember it to be. I realize half of me is starting to panic, so I shut it down, because panic would cripple me, and it would kill me. I need my hands to work, and to work deftly and fast.
''O! O! Come back here!''
I turn around - Bellamy is after Octavia who I don't know what the hell she's even doing. ''Bellamy!'' I call, my tent already out and ready to use, but neither of them listen, and the fog is closing in on us, ''Guys! Fuck!''
''Hey! Hey!'' he finally calls, ''Over here!''
When I drop that tent canvas on the ground and run to them, I realize I blindly trust Bellamy Blake with my life. The thought of it is fleeting as I rush to them, like it never flickered in my mind. And once I realize we're uncovering what seems to be a man-made construction under the growth, the adrenaline kicks in in double dose, the danger of the acid fog with the possibility of finding a way to our friends combined. My hands work like mad.
''I found it,'' Octavia breathes, uncovering a door.
''Come on, pull!'' Bellamy shouts as the men pull on the metal thing together, and all Octavia and I can do is stand there and wait and watch the damn fog approach.
At this point, the fear of getting incinerated is more real than ever before.
''Hurry up!'' Octavia almost screams.
After another eternity long moment, the door slams open.