Shorties

Look, Rox, it’ll only be for a few months. It’ll be gone before we know it!

Roxas rolls Axel’s words around in his head, and not for the first time. The stint abroad was one that would further his career, and Roxas wanted to support him. Even if it meant being left behind, the could still Skype every day, right? Still, three months was a long time to be apart, especially when they were still figuring things out between them.

The first month passes quickly enough. They did Skype, as often as they could, though the differing time zones combined with their conflicting schedules makes that less often than either of them would’ve liked.

The second month passes. Axel is busy with work, Roxas with his senior thesis. The Skype calls come, but fewer and far between. There’s an ocean between them, and, Roxas thinks, sometimes it feels like more.

It’s halfway through the third month that Axel tells him, “They want me to stay another three months. I have to give them an answer next week.” There is a strain in his voice, a look that is bittersweet hope and unhappiness, and Roxas wonders why he feels nothing when he hits end call.

Roxas wonders why he feels empty, why seeing Axel’s face doesn’t make his chest warm and full anymore. It’s just a face, familiar as it is, with Axel’s green eyes and inverted teardrop tattoos, and that makes him feel something, but it’s not what he’s supposed to feel.

Since Axel’s been gone, Roxas has grown closer to Sora. Without Axel there to monopolize his time, Roxas has been spending more time with his other friends, Sora in particular. Sora, who usually has a smile on his face, but has thoughts deeper than he lets on. Sora, who Roxas begins to look forward to spending time with the most.

Time with Sora, Roxas realizes, is something he looks forward to more than Axel’s Skype calls. Sora, who Roxas thinks he’s seen watching him with a look in his eyes.

When he thinks about it, there’s a little flutter in his chest.

“You should take their offer,” Roxas is calm, when he says it. He feels calm, even though Axel’s face says he isn’t calm. “Do what’s best for you, Axel.”

“I miss you, Roxas.” Roxas has nothing, in response to that. “I want to be able to hold you again.”

Roxas sighs. “Axel.”

The look on Axel’s face, even through the poor quality of the Skype call, says he knows what’s next. “Roxas, no, don’t say it. I’m coming back, I’m not going to stay. Whatever it is, it can wait, right? ‘Til I get back?”

Roxas shakes his head. “I won’t change my mind. Axel, stay. Your career is most important, right now.”

“But it’s not! Roxas, you’re important.”  Desperation creeps into Axel’s voice, and Roxas feels a little something.

But it’s still not what he’s supposed to feel.  “I don’t—Axel, I don’t feel the same way anymore.  I’m sorry.  I think I like someone else, now.”

Axel’s face is stricken.  He looks a little tired, Roxas thinks, but he knows Axel will be fine.  “You—did you—”

“I wouldn’t do anything like that,” Roxas says.  “I wanted to end things with us, first.”  Axel scrubs at his face.  It’s late there, Roxas knows.  “You should get some sleep, Axel.”

Axel looks at him, his green eyes piercing, even with all the distance between them.  Finally, he looks away, sighing.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I guess I should.”  Roxas knows this isn’t over, not yet, but there’s still a thread of defeat in Axel’s voice.

“Take their offer, Axel.”

“Good night, Rox.”

“Good bye.”  Roxas hits the end call button.  He stares at the Skype window a moment longer, and then closes his laptop.  He’s not sure what he’s supposed to feel.  A little sad, maybe, that Axel has to be hurt, but mostly he feels lighter.

The sound of Sora clearing his throat behind him startles Roxas.  He looks to see Sora biting his lip, eyes on the ground.

“How much did you hear?”  He’s not sure he wants Sora to know, yet.  He’s still figuring it out, what he feels and what he doesn’t, and he’s not sure he was clear enough with Axel.

Sora shrugs.  “Enough.”

“You weren’t meant to hear any of it.”  Roxas scowls at his laptop.

“Yeah.  Sorry.”

Silence hangs in the air between them, awkward, but Roxas shrugs it off.  “Don’t worry about it.”

There’s a little hesitation in Sora’s voice when he asks, “Who do you like, Roxas?”

Roxas meets his gaze head-on.  “Who do you like, Sora?”  It’s a little bit of a challenge, since he’s been caught out like this, and he doesn’t have any expectations, because he didn’t drop Axel for this.  It was just a push, on top of the distance that had grown up between them.

But Roxas still feels something, a little flutter in his chest, when Sora says, “What if I said it was you?”