Chapter 26
Harry knew that this was rightful karma. He'd been up all night with chest pain. When he said his heart was breaking for his little boy, he could now put a legitimate feeling to that sentiment. He deserved it.
When he'd finally fallen into a restful sleep, he'd woken up a few hours later to the news that Louis still wasn't up. 15 hours later and his baby was still sleeping.
His and Nick's parents were there by that point, so were Alberto and Dale. Alberto was standing guard outside of Louis' room currently. The guards had been taking shifts outside of his room, and it made Harry want to melt into a pile of goo. They cared about his little boy so much.
He'd said it before, but he truly deserved the physical pain he was in for making his baby feel this way. He and Nick sat on either side of Louis' hotel bed, removing the crib like attachments the hospital had thoughtfully put on.
Harry softly stroked his finger down Louis' cheek, unable to stop tearing up at seeing the boy look so frail. His wrist looked so small, IVs sticking out, breathing tubes hooked in his nose.
Doctor Alminas walked in, asking how Harry and Nick were doing. Harry was content with saying he was fine, but Nick mentioned Harry's pain to the doctor.
The man had a small smile on his face, looking more amused than concerned. "Ah, now your little one's long slumber makes sense. Biology never fails to amaze me."
Harry and Nick shared inquisitive looks.
"What do you mean, doctor?" Nick asked, wanting a concrete answer.
"Well, think about it this way... your little boy is more at the age of an infant than a toddler. When true children are first born, what do they eat?"
"They nurse from their mum," Harry answered slowly, starting to understand where this was going.
Doctor Alminas smiled. "And you know of young littles who still nurse from their m-doms?"
"Not personally, but I've heard of it," Harry affirmed.
"Well, in male dom pairings, sometimes something similar occurs. A baby will send out distress signals to one of their dominants, and their body will accommodate to help their baby. Meaning in this situation that your body is preparing you for lactating. There's no need to worry about your body changing, biology has emerged to the point where you can produce milk in the physical state you're currently in."
Harry sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to comprehend this. His thoughts were headed down a few paths. He didn't feel emasculated by the fact that he was the one who'd be feeding Louis, that he was seen as more of the boy's mother figure. He wanted to provide for Louis, he felt honored that he could provide for his baby. But what if Louis rejected him? He didn't know if he could handle that.
Harry tried to formulate his thoughts, "What if he rejects me?"
Doctor Alminas gave him a soft smile, understanding Harry's thought process. This wasn't his first rodeo. "He won't. He is the reason that you began to lactate in the first place; his brain and body need it... need you. Your body has been equipped for this since birth, it lays dormant in d-doms, only coming out when a signal is sent from l-sub to p-dom. Sounds a bit like what the people of old would watch in a fi-sci movie. Yes, I believe that's the term. As soon as he wakes up, you'll see. I'll bet all of my money that he starts trying to nurse the moment you pick him up."
"And my body will continue to produce it? What else will he need to eat?" Harry asked, gripping Nick's hand over Louis' body.
"Your body will indeed continue to produce it. You'll need to feed him three or four times a day for the first few weeks, as he will be healing. He will be very weak as he returns home. His body sent out distress signals to you, signaling that he is in dire need of the nutrients and comfort provided by nursing from one of his doms."
"Will his digestive system ever recover fully?" Nick asked.
"It will. He just must be kept to a strict diet, either breast milk or formula, jarred little food, or mashed fruits and cereal. I'll have my nurses make you up a suggestion list. In a few weeks your body might stop making milk. It'll unfortunately have to be a see as we go kind of process; biology works in weird ways."
"That would be very helpful. Thank you so much, Doctor." Nick said gratefully.
"It's my pleasure, gentlemen. Let me know if you need anything else. Press the call button when Louis is awake, a nurse will come assist you with feeding and answer any questions you may have."
The men sat there for a bit, talking quietly and stroking Louis' baby soft skin. They eventually got up to grab food, alternating so that they didn't leave Louis alone for a moment. They'd denied the nurses' offers to change Louis' diapers, taking it upon themselves to do so. That's how Louis would've wanted it.
Their boy finally started to stir around 7pm. Harry's butterfly tattoo had a lot of friends at the moment. All he could think was... what if Louis rejected him? Louis let out soft noises, eyes scrunching shut, but not opening back up. Harry and Nick would do anything to see their baby's pretty blue eyes.
Nick must've pressed the call button when Harry was stuck in thought, as the kindest nurse they'd dealt with was now in the room with them.
"Harry, if you'd like to place Louis on your lap it'd be great. Perfect, there you go," The nurse instructed.
Louis felt so small in his arms. It was like he'd lost half of his body weight in 24 hours.
"Hi sweetheart," Harry cooed softly, bringing Louis closer to his body.
Louis let out a soft whine, curling closer into Harry's body with a shiver. Nick was quick to wrap the boy in a soft blanket they'd brought from home.
"Our sweet boy," Nick said quietly, softly stroking Louis' silky hair.
Louis' eyes didn't open as he moved his head towards Harry's chest, starting to suckle at his collar bone. The boy let out a frustrated sound, presumably upset that he wasn't drinking milk. Harry looked to the nurse with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.
"Gently guide his head towards one of your nipples, he should do the rest," the nurse instructed.
Harry did as she said, guiding Louis to his left pectoral. The boy immediately latched on, beginning to suck at his nipple. It was a long moment before milk started to flow out, Harry feeling more relieved than he ever had. Louis let out a pleased noise. Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He could provide for his baby.
It was certainly a weird feeling. Harry'd only ever met littles twice in his life. One of them was a man who'd lived near him in Cheshire. Harry used to hear whispers about he drank his d-dom's milk, and Harry never understood why that's weird people out. Sure, kids are easily fascinated, but still. To provide for your child in such a personal way is an honor that wasn't received by all.
Sure, he wouldn't be feeding Louis in public, but he'd make sure his boy was happy and healthy. he owed it to him.
He looked up from where Louis was nestled against him to make eye contact with a softly smiling Nick.
"Our baby," Nick murmured. Harry replied with a kiss to his lips.
Louis eventually stopped nursing, leaning against his daddy was a contented sigh.
"Papa would love to see your pretty eyes, darling," Nick coaxed, wanting to see if Louis would open his eyes.
Miraculously, Louis did open his eyes relatively soon after Nick coaxed him into it.
The nurse shut the lights off a few minutes before, wanting Louis to be able to adjust to the lighting without hurting his eyes.
Nick and Harry were expecting a relatively happy Louis, but the moment they saw his eyes they were covered in a sheen of tears.
The little boy started to cry quickly, his voice hoarse due to a lack of talking. Louis clutched his stomach with his hands, and looked down to see the IV still in his arm. It's safe to say his cries picked up immensely, Nick gently grabbing his free hand so he couldn't attempt to take it out.
Doctor Alminas entered the room with a concerned look on his face, coming over to the bed where the three sat.
"Hi Louis, my name is Doctor Alminas. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked softly.
Louis hiccuped and breathed heavily until his tears came to a stop, looking at the doctor with wide eyes.
"He's really regressed right now, Doctor. I'm not sure he understands you," Harry said quietly.
The way that Louis turned and smiled happily at his daddy's voice, pressing slobbery kisses to his cheek before letting out a pained whimper certified his statement. Their poor little one couldn't even figure out what was wrong with himself.
"Does your tummy feel icky?" Doctor Alminas asked while touching his own stomach with a sad face, reframing his approach.
Louis nodded sadly, finally comprehending what was being asked of him.
"Okay, bud, I'll help you feel better," The doctor said, going to converse with his nurse as they walked out of the room. Nick followed them out of the room because him and Harry both wanted to know what was going on, and trying to move Harry out from under Louis would not work out too well.
"What's wrong, doc?" Nick asked concerned.
"Well, he has now digested his food, but it's sitting in his little stomach unmoving. We need to get his digestive track moving again, to put it in pretty terms. We don't need to give him a suppository, but he'll need to drink some laxative or receive an IV with laxative laced in his normal fluids. It's up to you. Both are safe, and it depends on whether or not you think he'd drink it."
Nick sighed, thinking for a moment. "I would give him the IV. He'll spit it out the moment he tastes something that is a bit off."
The doctor smiled softly, "I'll have a nurse bring it in right now."
Nick walked back in the room, unable to not enjoy the sight of Harry holding their little boy close in his arms. He felt blessed to have a little who was truly little compared to both him and Harry. Obviously, he would still love Louis if the boy was taller or heavier, but... to have him be so small that he fit on their laps perfectly was ideal.
"My boys, how are we feeling?" Nick asked softly, resuming his post on Harry's side.
"We're just very sleepy, aren't we sweetheart?" Harry murmured, the continued slow blinking of Louis' eyes a testament to that.
Nick hummed sympathetically, not wanting to Louis to stir from his peaceful state. It'd be easier to get the IV changed and have the unpleasantries occur while he slept.
"They're coming in to put laxative in his fluid IV," Nick said quietly to Harry once he was sure the baby was asleep.
Harry nodded solemnly. "I just want him to feel better."
When Louis was screaming and crying as the medicine took effect it was hard to keep that mantra in his mind. But he tried.
Once Louis was all cleaned up and rediapered, Nick held him close in his lap. Things could only get better from there.
"There's my sweet boy, I bet your tummy is feeling lots better," Nick said more to himself than anyone else.
Harry'd went to grab their mums, the women still anxiously awaiting the chance to see Louis. They figured it wouldn't hurt to let them in for a moment before he went to bed. After all, they'd been waiting for almost a day to see him.
Louis let out small noises behind his pacifier, so weak and worn out that he could do nothing but curl into his papa's warmth.
The door to his room opened quietly a few minutes later, Alberto quietly asking if Louis was okay to have his visitors. At Nick's approval, the mums followed Harry in the room.
Anne and Eileen took a seat by the hospital bed, eyes somber as they took in Louis' diminutive form.
The women only stayed for a moment, not wanting to interfere when the nurse came in to add more fluid to his IV.
Nick and Harry sat on the couch next to Louis' bed while he slept, watching Game of Thrones quietly. He'd slept for about three hours before he'd started crying again, Harry and Nick quickly getting up and moving over to sit on either side of his bed and attempt to calm him.
It was obvious what the fuss was when he immediately latched his mouth onto Nick's arm blindly, sucking as if he would receive milk. Harry let out a coo, immediately unbuttoning his shirt and settling Louis on his lap.
The boy drank eagerly at first, filling up his empty tummy that was experiencing hunger for the first time in over a day. His drinking slowed, Harry chuckling quietly as he saw Louis' eyes closed. His boy was continuing to suckle on him in his sleep, seemingly comforted by the way that Harry felt in his mouth. Harry quickly placed a pacifier in Louis' mouth in its place before allowing Nick to tuck him into bed.
He wasn't sure how he'd feel about feeding Louis, but it was so much better than anything he could've imagined. He was providing his little boy with sustenance that kept him alive. It was a powerful feeling, something that made him feel proud. He was proud to be able to help his little boy, and he was glad that he could be there when Louis needed him.
He hoped that he could continue to provide for him, in any way that he needed to. He and Nick cuddled up on the small couch and fell asleep, hoping tomorrow was a better day.