Chapter 13
“Ni, will you please get Mcdonald’s with me?” Louis asked, looking at his bandmate with wide eyes. He knew his daddy didn’t want him eating it, but would he risk looking like a meanie and saying no after Niall promised to go with him? Maybe. That’s why Louis was going to go without telling him.
“Of course, bud, let me get my wallet!” Niall said, giving Louis a grin. It would be his first chance to really be alone with Louis since he found out he was little, and he was overjoyed.
Louis looked to make sure his daddy wasn’t looking; he was caught up in a conversation Lou and Caroline. Perfect. They were practicing in a huge warehouse, the only place that was big enough to fit their stage for the tour. It was the first day that they were practicing on it, and Louis was in awe of how huge it was. He couldn’t wait to play in stadiums again.
He looked up to see Niall waving him over, Louis checking one more time to make sure Harry wasn’t looking before scampering over. He felt a bit guilty, but he really needed Mcdonald’s. His daddy would be fine, he’d be back in just a minute anyways. Basil and Alberto lead them out of the dark warehouse, his bodyguard strapping him in his car seat once in the car. He couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed; Niall loved him, he knew that!
“Where’s Harry,” Alberto asked as he started the car, directing his question to Niall.
“He’s inside, was talkin’ to Lou I think.” Alberto shrugged, driving off. This was the first time he’d seen Louis without Harry in almost a month, he was surprised that the man was letting Louis go off alone, but it wasn’t his job to question that, was it?
A short drive to Mcdonald’s later, they started pulling up to the drive thru.
Niall groaned, “Not the drive thru, let’s go in! We have time, no one’s here, we’re fine.”
Louis felt his stomach clench up at that, not quite sure he was okay with getting out of the car. He hadn’t been in public for almost a month, the only time fans got a glimpse of him was through the gate at the studio.
“Are you good going in, Lou?” Basil asked, looking back at the boy.
“He’s fine! Right Lou?” Niall asked, looking at his bandmate. Unable to upset his friend, Louis nodded his head.
Alberto let out a sigh, backing up and pulling into a parking spot. Niall bent over and undid Louis’ car seat, Basil opening the boy’s door and giving him a hand as he hopped out.
He was wearing sweatpants, thankfully, but he was still nervous that someone would spot him. This wasn’t how he expected his first traipse back into the real world to be. He thought he’d be with his daddies, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized this wasn’t a good idea. Taking a deep breath, Louis walked into the restaurant, praying that no one would notice him.
Harry was freaking the fuck out. He went over to talk to Lou and Caroline about getting a new wardrobe for Louis, as his skin was growing increasingly sensitive, and when he went to grab the boy to ask what he wanted for lunch he was gone. Zayn and Liam said that the last time they saw him he was with Niall. Harry had never felt more panicked in his life, wondering where the hell his baby went. He tried to breathe, knowing that calling the police wouldn’t help anything at the moment. Getting his thoughts together, he texted Alberto.
Is Louis with you??????? Please tell me he’s with you????
Almost immediately he received a reply.
Yeah, we’re at McDs. He said u told him he could go?
Harry was taken aback by that, this being the first time that Louis had done something naughty.
I didn’t. Please make sure he gets back here safe. And quickly. Please.
Don’t kill me for doing my job, H. Fans just came up and asked for a pic. I told them no, but your boy told them yes.
Okay. Get him back here please. Make sure he eats first. And get him water.
Regardless of how irate he was, Harry couldn’t help but prioritize his boy’s basic needs. Harry knew that he and Nick were in for a fun afternoon. He quickly called the older man and filled him in on what had happened, preparing him for the conversation to be had when they got home.
Louis walked back in, hiding himself behind Alberto. Harry tried not to be endeared by the sight, but he couldn’t help it. He waited for Louis and Niall to join him on the stage where he, Liam, and Zayn already stood. Niall hopped up quickly, excited to get back to it, but Louis moved up slowly, looking down at the ground. Harry stayed still, arms crossed tightly across his chest while he waited for the boy.
Unable to remain patient anymore, Harry walked over to where Louis had just climbed onto the stage.
“Are you okay?” Harry asked. It made him sick to his stomach thinking about his little boy being out in public without him, especially for the first time since he was outed.
Louis looked up, nervous to see the expression on his daddy’s face. It was worse than he thought, a mixture of worry and disappointment. He didn’t want his daddy to be sad, especially because of him. Leaning in, Louis hugged Harry tightly. “Love you. Best daddy in the world!”
Harry chuckled humorlessly and gave his little boy a kiss on the hair. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you, Louis. We’ll talk when we get home.”
All of the feeling drained out of Louis’ body at his words. Louis’ mind was panicked, automatically leading him to the conclusion that Harry was going to tell him he didn’t want him anymore. Not that he realized it, but if he was still playing gad Louis he would’ve never of come to that conclusion. The juvenile state of his mind prioritized emotions over rational thought, and it was evident how true that was with the situation currently taking place.
Louis tried his best to finish up practice well, only Harry noticing that he was anything but chipper. Once strapped in his car seat on the way home, Louis nervously spared a glance over at Harry. The man was scrolling on his phone with a look of concentration on his face. Jackie had sent him a long email outlining questions about Louis. He let her know that yes, Louis wanted to do meet and greets, and yes, he would be ready to do an interview once he was in the states. He was so concentrated on replying quickly that he didn’t realize how distraught his boy had become at his silence.
Pulling up to their home, Harry unbuckled Louis who sprung out of the car and went inside. He knew what he had to do. He regretted going to Mcdonald’s, he just wanted Niall to think he was cool, he thought miserably. Nick wasn’t even waiting for him at the door, another bad sign. His fate was sealed; he was going to be alone forever. He trudged up the stairs, holding onto the railing as it was growing increasingly hard to see with the tears that were forming in his eyes. He moved to his nursery, thinking about what he needed to grab. Lacy was the first on his list, leaning into his crib to grab her where she lay, he needed a paci, and some diapers. He could live for a while off of that, right? He grabbed some diapers and tucked them under his elbow with Lacy. He took off his vans and went to grab his Bubble Guppies shoes, knowing he couldn’t leave them behind. Louis quickly grew frustrated as he tried to put his strap on shoes on, confused on why they didn’t feel right. He knew that they fit as he’d worn them around the house, enamored by the way they lit up when he stomped.
Looking back at his room one last time, he started to walk to the staircase. He was crying silently at this point, wondering why he had to have been a bad boy and leave without his daddy. Once down the stairs, feet already hurting from his shoes, he walked to the living room so he could get out of the house. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he knew he wasn’t wanted anymore.
A cough drew him out of his sad inner monologue, looking up to see his daddies- Harry and Nick- sitting on the couch.
Harry and Nick were close to bursting out in laughter at the sight of their little boy with a pacifier tucked on one finger, his stuffed lion, and a few diapers. “Where are you going, love?” Nick asked.
“I-I don’t know. I’m leaving, ‘m sorry for being a bad boy,” Louis whimpered, unable to look at them any longer.
“Baby, why don’t you come sit on the couch. Let’s get your shoes off, they’re on the wrong feet, silly boy,” Harry cooed, wanting to have a conversation with their little runaway.
“I said I’m leaving! You don’t want naughty Louis,” the boy said, unable to stop himself from bawling at that point. Nick let out a small sigh, standing up and grabbing the boy. He sat him on his lap on the couch, Harry reaching over to take his shoes off.
“Louis doesn’t want to l-leave,” the little sobbed, curling his fingers in Nick’s hair.
“We don’t want you to leave either, sweetheart,” Harry soothed, rubbing his hand down the boys back.
“B-but I was n-n-naughty,” he cried, not understanding why his daddies didn’t want him to leave. He was bad! Why would they want a little boy who didn’t follow the rules? It didn’t make any sense to him.
“You didn’t follow the rules, but that doesn’t make you a bad boy. You’re never a bad boy, pumpkin,” Harry explained slowly.
Louis eventually stopped crying, and Nick began to speak.
“Can you tell us what happened today, Louis?” Nick asked.
The little took a deep breath, “I wanted nuggets. And Niall asked me to go! I didn’t want to tell him I couldn’t. I knew daddy wouldn’t want me to because it’s yucky food.”
“Do you know how worried daddy was when he couldn’t find you?” Harry asked.
Louis looked up at his daddy with wide eyes, crawling over into his lap. “Daddy, don’t be scared! I was just getting nuggets, I’m right here.”
Harry and Nick understood that Louis had never had anyone who worried about him, and trying to explain how much they cared about him was a bit of a task. It was hard to explain to someone who had never received love until they were 21 that when you love someone you want them to be safe.
“I know, baby, and I’m so glad you’re right here. But daddy and papa love you so very much and need to know where you are at all times, okay? Remember our rules? The most important one is that you stay safe, and that means letting us know where you go.”
“I don’t have to leave?” Louis asked, mind only able to focus on whether or not his daddies wanted to get rid of him. He thought about his mother and how quick she was to abandon him, and he couldn’t help but fear that his daddy and papa would do the same.
“You never have to leave, little cub. We love you so very much, even when you break the rules. That will never change,” Nick promised.
The incident had made Louis ridiculously clingy, never leaving his daddies for even a second. He cried when he was put down for a nap, not sleeping until his papa lay on the couch with him. Fifteen minutes of wailing cries when they put him to bed were enough for them to allow him to sleep with them. They had two days until they left, and the daddies were sick with worry about how this development would effect how Louis reacted to leaving his papa.
By Tuesday night, the daddies were feeling guilty about how relieved they were to know they had a night alone together. They knew they needed it, and would regret it if they didn’t go out. When Anne arrived the men took the momentary distraction of Louis as a chance to go upstairs and change. Harry put on a pair of his signature black jeans and a light blue button-down, buttons undone of course. Nick got dressed in a similar outfit, donning a red collared shirt. Both of the men looked at the other and felt an overwhelming feeling of lust, feeling unsure of how they got such a handsome partner.
They headed down to the living room to see Louis on Anne’s lap pointing to the television where Doc McStuffins was playing. Trying to be as nonchalant about it as possible, the men quickly pressed kisses to Louis’ lips and gave him a squeeze.
“Have a fun night with nana, baby! We can’t wait to hear all about it,” Nick said.
What were they talking about? Where were they going?
“Where are you going?” Louis asked, tears already filling his light blue eyes.
“We’re just going out to dinner, pumpkin, we’ll be back when you wake up in the morning!” Harry promised. He wasn’t sure how late they’d be out, so he didn’t want to tell the boy to wait up for them. With the eleven hour time change in Australia, he didn’t want the boy to mess up his sleeping schedule.
“Don’t leave me,” Louis sobbed, getting up off of Anne’s lap. He ran over to his papa and threw himself on him, wrapping his arms around the man’s legs.
Harry bent down next to the boy, cooing softly. “Baby, we will be back soon! Nana is going to order pizza and make you yummy cookies, you’ll have so much fun you won’t even know we left!”
“What if you don’t come back,” Louis worried, tears falling quickly.
“Little cub, of course we’re going to come back! Nana can even put you to sleep in our bed and when you wake up we’ll be right there.”
“You promise?” The little asked, the feeling of terror in his chest heavy.
“Pinky promise, baby,” Harry said, holding out his pinky to the little boy.
“Now give daddy and I kisses and then go have fun with your nana!” Nick said, reaching down to pick the boy up. Louis was still sniffling and took the chance to wipe his tears on his papa’s shirt. Nick laughed, realizing that he was never going to be completely clean again while having a little boy around.
Anne called Louis over to where she’d moved by the staircase, jiggling a box of beads. The boy skipped over to her, mood changing at the prospect of doing crafts. Silently thanking her, Nick and Harry quickly left the house. Even though they knew their baby was in capable hands, they couldn’t help but feel guilty.
“All right, now it’s nana and Louis time! Give me your hand and we can walk up the stairs!” Anne said, holding her hand out for Louis. Harry had explained how Louis fell down the last few stairs the day before, the boy becoming a bit wobbly. The woman was more than happy to hold the boy’s hand, overjoyed at the prospect of spending the night alone with him.
Once up the stairs, Louis pulled the woman into his nursery. “Let’s make beads for my daddies!” He exclaimed, setting himself down in the adult sized plastic craft table set in the corner of the room.
“What a great idea, angel! Let me get everything we’ll need out,” She said, ducking down to peek in the plastic drawers. Grabbing child friendly scissors, construction paper, markers, crayons, and uncooked macaroni before heading to the table.
“What’s in your box, nana?” Louis asked, bouncing eagerly on his seat.
“Let’s take a look!” She exclaimed, opening the box, “We have some string, and lots of different bead colors! Would you like to make bracelets?”
Looking forlorn, Louis admitted, “I’ve never played with beads! Will you please help me, nana?”
Anne really was falling in love with the little boy in front of her, wondering how any mother could ever neglect him. Louis was completely enthusiastic about learning how to bead and asked for three lines of string so that he could make bracelets for him and his daddies. He made sure that they were absolutely perfect, putting the prettiest beads that he could find on the stretchy string. Finally finished with the bracelets, Louis held them away from his face to look at them. He couldn’t wait to show them to his daddies!
Looking at the bracelets, he started to cry. He messed his daddy’s up, putting beads that spelled “dady” instead of “daddy”. His daddy was going to be so upset, it would take him so long to make another bracelet.
“What’s wrong, lovely?” Anne asked the boy, scooting her chair over to his.
“I messed up!” He cried, shoving the bracelet in his nana’s face.
Anne cooed, rubbing the boy’s shoulder. She knew without a doubt that Harry would find the little boy’s mistake absolutely adorable, but could see how distraught Louis was. “Sweetheart, it’s okay! It looks amazing, he isn’t even going to notice.”
“He is going to be sad I messed up!”
“Do you know the best part about daddies, Louis?” Anne asked, Louis responding by shaking his head quickly. “The best part about daddies is they love you no matter what! I promise that he will love it, and that he loves you so very much.”
Before Louis could reply, Anne’s phone started ringing.
“Hello? Yeah, of course! I’ll be down in a second,” She answered, hanging up.
“Who was it? Daddy?” Louis asked, overjoyed at the prospect of his daddies already being home.
“Not daddy, love, it was Dale. He brought us some yummy pizza for dinner!”
Louis clapped his hands together, quickly standing up. He linked his hand with Anne’s, holding onto her hand as they walked down the stairs. Knowing that his daddies didn’t want him answering the door, he waited for his nana to do it. He was excited to see Dale, especially because he had three boxes in his hand.
“Hey guys, there’s the pizza, breadsticks, and salad! Anything else I can get you?” Dale asked, handing over the pizza.
“I think we’re all set! Thank you, Dale, have a good night!” Anne said with a smile.
“Thank you!” Louis said before skipping into the kitchen. He jumped up in his highchair, Anne chuckling as she watched the eager boy. She placed the pizza down before strapping him in and locking his tray in.
“What would you like to drink, little love?” She asked, grabbing plates and a sippy cup.
“Apple juice, please!”
Truth be told, Louis didn’t even think about his daddies until he was getting ready for bed. He felt overwhelmingly sad thinking about them, wondering why they didn’t want to stay home and play with him. They always told him how fun he was to play with, so why did they decide to leave?”
Once dressed for bed, his nana told him she was going to make his baba and she’d be right back upstairs. He took the minute to go and grab his bracelets from where they were sitting on the now cleaned up craft table, wanting to hide them in his crib so he could give them to his daddies at the perfect time.
Climbing into his daddies’ bed, he didn’t feel the same sense of excitement that he usually did, because his daddies weren’t there to cuddle him. He couldn’t help but tear up thinking about it, wishing that his daddies were with him.
“What’s with the sad face, love?” Anne asked, walking in.
“I miss my daddies,” Louis said honestly.
“Aw, love, they miss you too! Do you want to call them and wish them goodnight?”
“Please,” Louis said, curling into the woman’s side. Anne crossed her fingers that they’d pick up, quite sure that they were waiting for a phone call from the little boy.
She put the phone on speaker, the phone being picked up after the first ring.
“Hello?” Harry answered.
“Daddy! It’s me,” Louis said, perking up in excitement at hearing his daddy’s voice.
Harry stood up from the table, motioning to Nick to follow him to the restroom. It was a private bathroom, so Harry locked the door after Nick, putting the phone on speaker.
“Hi sweetheart, can you hear me?” Harry asked.
“Yes, daddy! I said it’s me!” Louis said.
Chuckling, Nick asked, “How is your night with nana going?”
“Good! Nana is so fun to play with! We made presents for you and ate pizza.”
“That sounds delicious, pumpkin. Are you going to bed?” Harry questioned.
“Yeah,” Louis sighed dramatically, “I don’t wanna sleep without you! I miss you.”
“We’ll be home when you wake up, little cub. Just drink your baba and we’ll be home before you know it,” Nick promised.
“Okay, Nicky. Love you, love you, love you!” Louis said, the sound of him pressing his lips together in a kiss heard on the other end of the phone.
“And we love you so much, angel. Goodnight! Thanks mum,” Harry said before hanging up.
Louis rested up against his nana’s side while he drank his bottle, soothed by her humming. He was asleep before he was fully finished with the drink, not even staying awake long enough to say goodnight to the woman. Anne tucked the little boy in with his stuffed lion, pressing a kiss to his forehead before heading downstairs. Harry and Nick were home by 9:30, profusely thanking Anne before she headed out.
“Truly, you have no need to thank me. I love that little boy more than most things in my life. If I’m being honest, Robin and I are seeing if we can work in a trip to visit on the European leg of the tour. We’ve always wanted to go to Paris, and I’ll get to see his sweet face…. And you, of course, dear.”
Harry chuckled at his mum’s words, “I know how you feel mum, we both do. He’s perfect. But I would love if you and Robin could make it out. Nick’s joining us for the European dates, so that would be lovely.”
The men were quiet as they headed into their room, turning on lamps instead of the main light so that they wouldn’t wake Louis up. Their efforts were futile as the boy woke up almost instantly, letting out a whine.
“Shhh, love, it’s just your daddy and I,” Nick soothed from where he was in the walk in closet changing into his pajamas.
“Paci,” the boy said, patting his hands around the center of the bed. Nick couldn’t help but laugh as he watched, the boy’s eyes were shut as he searched for the pacifier that was sitting right next to him.
“Here you are, love,” Nick said, placing the paci in the boy’s mouth as he slid into bed. Grumbling, the little invaded Nick’s personal space, draping himself over his papa before falling back asleep. Nick knew that if anyone else had even attempted to lay on him like that he would’ve pushed them off without a second thought, but this little boy was looking to be the exception to most things Nick believed. He wouldn’t change it for anything.
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Louis was 100% sure that there was no place on earth he wanted to be at less than Caroline and Lou’s studio. It was the day before they left for tour, and he had been stuck trying on clothes for what seemed like years.
Harry was lounging on a couch in the corner of the room, trusting the two women to help Louis. He, Caroline, and Lou had wanted to figure out a new wardrobe for Louis now that he was being more particular about the fabrics he wore and was scared his diaper would show. The little had no qualms about his diaper showing in front of Caroline and Lou, he’d known them for so long that he knew they wouldn’t judge him.
When the p-dom went to talk to the two women about Louis and tried to create a story about why he wanted to help Louis pick out new clothes they laughed. And laughed. They laughed for a good ten minutes, telling him that they had known since the first time they saw them together after Louis came out as a little. That was that, it seemed.
“I know you’re going to want to say no, but just try them on,” Caroline said, handing Louis a pair of what looked like jeans.
“But-“
“No buts! Trust me. They’re jeans that are specifically made with littles in mind.”
Louis tried them on and felt like he’d gone and went to heaven. He let out a pleased sigh, walking over to the mirror that spanned the wall. Surprised at the fact that they looked just as good as they felt, he gasped.
“Told you so,” Caroline sang smugly, “you’ll be happy to know that I ordered twelve pairs in black and eight in dark blue. You’re welcome.”
Harry let out a snort, he still wasn't quite used to the way that their stylist and make up artist knew them so well.
Louis was already taking the jeans off, back in just a diaper.
“All right, there’s just one thing left to try on, dear. I think you’ll like it quite a lot,” Caroline said, heading over to the clothes rack she had set up. She pulled out a black crew neck sweater that was covered in white silhouettes of the Bubble Guppies.
“Guppies!” Louis said, pulling the sweater on. It looked ridiculously cool, and it would be impossible to know what the silhouettes were of unless someone knew what the show was. “I’m never taking it off!” Louis exclaimed.
“Pumpkin, why don’t you say thank you and hand the sweater back? I promise you’ll get to wear it on tour, but we need it to stay with the rest of your outfits.”
Letting out a melodramatic sigh, Louis took the sweater off. “Thank you for the sweater! I wish I could keep it,” the boy handed it over, staring at it longingly.
“I think I can get another one made, no promises, though. I’ll see what I can do!” Caroline said, unable to resist the little’s pout. He truly had everyone wrapped around his finger.
With Louis’ wardrobe taken care of, they were officially ready to leave for tour. All the boys had to look forward to that night was a relaxing time at home. Harry knew it was his last night with Nick for a while, and he was certain he'd make the most of it.
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Louis woke up extremely excited the next morning. His daddies had packed everything he needed, and now he got to go to Australia! Daddy promised him that he could go swimming with dolphins in a few days and he couldn’t wait. They were leaving for the airport after breakfast, and Louis was patiently waiting for his daddies to come get him so that they could eat. He grabbed his bracelets from where they were hidden under his mattress and put them around Lacy’s neck. He couldn’t forget them, he was finally going to give them to his daddies on the plane.
Nick was sick to his stomach as he listened to Louis sing about Australia on the baby monitor. As each second passed he realized how awful of an idea it was not to tell the boy, because he clearly didn’t know that all three of them wouldn’t be together. He hoped with every fiber of his being that Louis would understand, but he knew that he would react in just the way a true child would; a complete and utterly heartbreaking tantrum.
Breakfast was a weird affair; it consisted of an extremely happy Louis, and Nick and Harry trying to fake happiness for the boy’s sake. Alberto texted them that he’d be there in an hour to pick them up. After Louis’ teeth were brushed they headed down to the living room where all of their bags were.
Nick sat down with Louis on his lap, Harry taking a seat next to them. The papa began to rub Louis’ tummy just the way that he liked, hoping to calm the boy before he started talking. Praying to whatever God there was, Nick began.
“I’m going to miss you so much, little cub. Are you going to be a good boy for your daddy?” Nick asked.
Looking at him confused, Louis said, “Why are you gonna miss me, silly Nicky? We’re going to Australia together!”
“Baby, I’m not going on tour with you. I have to stay and do my job here in London.”
Stiffening in Nick’s lap, Louis’ face crumpled, “What?”
Louis looked at his papa with tears filling his eyes, his breathing beginning to get heavy. Why wouldn’t papa come on tour? Didn’t he want to stay with him and daddy?
“I can’t leave work, love. We’ll talk on the phone every day and we can even videochat!”
Unable to stop the torrent of emotions that was building up inside of him, Louis started wailing. “Why why why why wouldn’t you come?”
Still speaking calmly, Nick repeated himself for the third time, “Baby, I can’t leave work. I have a job just like you and daddy do.”
Louis pushed himself off of Nick’s lap, throwing himself to the floor. He buried his face in the carpet, slamming his fists down on the ground. Nick and Harry shared a concerned look, not sure of how to proceed.
After a few minutes of the boy’s cries not dying down, Nick got onto the ground and gently grabbed the boy’s fists, opening them up. Louis let out an anguished sob at seeing the man’s face, pained knowing he wouldn’t have his papa around for a few weeks. “Papa, don’t leave me,” Louis cried, finally allowing the man the pleasure of having a name from his little.
Nick felt his heart grow twenty times its normal size at the four letter word, but also felt his heart break at knowing he wouldn’t hear it in person for almost three weeks.
“Papa isn’t leaving you, sweetheart, he loves you so so much. I’ll be right here when you’re back with lots of kisses and cuddles, I promise.”
“Papa,” Louis cried again, picking himself up and crawling into Nick’s lap. He pressed snotty, tear soaked kisses all over the man’s face and lips, and truth be told Nick has never felt more loved in his life.
“Papa’s right here, my sweet little cub,” Nick cooed, rubbing the boy’s back.
“You can’t q-quit?” Louis asked, looking up at Nick with wide, innocent eyes.
“No, love, I can’t quit. But it’s okay! I’ll see you and daddy so very soon. Daddy is going to take such good care of you, I promise.”
“B-but, what if you find a new little boy? What about Louis?” The little asked, face pained at the thought of his papa finding a better little than him.
Nick wanted to cry at the words, wishing that he could let the little hear his thoughts for just five minutes so he could never question how loved he was again. “You’re the best little boy in the world, my angel. Your daddy and I could never love someone the way we love you, I promise.” Holding out his pinky to Louis, they interlocked their little fingers in what was the most important pinky promise the boy had ever been a part of.
“I don’t want you to leave me, papa. Daddy’s gonna be sad without you!” Louis said, sparing a look over Nick’s shoulder for Harry.
“You’re right, sweetheart, I am going to miss papa. But I can call him every day, and you can too! I promise tour will fly by,” Harry said. The man was having a hard time not getting emotional as he usually did when he left Nick, but he knew he had to be strong for their little boy.
“Can we buy him presents?” Louis asked.
“Of course we can, he’d love that,” Harry assured, smiling, “Alberto just texted me, they’re going to be here in about ten minutes. Let’s give papa lots of hugs and kisses goodbye, okay?”
“I have a present!” Louis said, getting up and walking to the couch to grab the bracelets off of Lacy’s neck. “Close your eyes!” Louis said excitedly.
He dropped the bracelets in his daddies’ palms, and shouted for them to open their eyes. He’d placed his own creation around his wrist and looked up to see their reactions.
Both of the men smiled hugely, showering their boy with praises.
“I spelled daddy wrong, ‘m sorry,” Louis said, looking down. Harry had barely noticed the misspelling, feeling so much love in his heart at the boy’s thoughtful gift.
“I didn’t even notice, pumpkin. I love it so much, thank you for such a thoughtful gift. Can I take a picture of them?”
Louis nodded enthusiastically, happy at the prospect of his daddies wanting a picture of his creations. The men placed their wrists together, Harry snapping a picture of the names that were on the bracelets. It was perfect.
“I’m going to wear it every day, it’ll remind me of your sweet face,” Nick said, smiling.
Harry felt his phone vibrating on his leg, feeling a sense of dread at knowing their family’s parting was upon them.
“Dale just texted me, they’re pulling up,” Harry said, standing up from the couch. He offered his hands to Louis where he was sitting on Nick’s lap on the ground, the boy standing up wearily. The doorbell rang and Harry went to get it, letting in Dale and Alberto. The men walked back in the living room to the sight of Nick carrying a crying Louis around the room, whispering in the little’s ear.
“Long morning, eh?” Alberto asked.
“That’s an understatement,” Harry said.
“We’ll grab everything, don’t worry about it,” Dale said, starting to pick up the assortment of bags that were on the floor.
“Thank you, just leave the light blue diaper bag and black backpack, everything else can go,” Harry said, giving the men a grateful smile.
“Sweetheart, you’ve got to say bye to papa. You’re going to see him very soon, promise.”
“I l-love you papa,” Louis cried, squeezing his arms around the man’s neck tightly. Nick gently bent down to place the boy on the floor, knowing that him and Harry needed to get going.
“And I love you so much, little cub. You’re going to have so much fun, I can’t wait to hear about everything that you and daddy do!”
“I love you papa,” Louis repeated, standing on his tiptoes to press kisses on Nick’s face.
“One more kiss,” Nick said. Louis gave his papa one more kiss, trying not to cry. He would see his papa soon, he promised.
One more kiss turned into lots of kisses as Nick carried him out to the car, putting him in his car seat. Louis placed Lacy on the seat next to him while his papa buckled him in.
“Love you, love you, love you, my perfect little boy. I’ll see you before you know it.” Nick said, giving the boy one last kiss on the lips.
“Love you papa. Can I have a paci?” Louis asked, milking the man for one final favor.
“Of course you can,” Nick said, grabbing the diaper bag from where it was sat on the floor of the car. He popped the Avengers patterned pacifier in the boy’s mouth before saying goodbye one final time.
“Bye sweetheart,” Nick said, waving to the boy before shutting the door. He headed to the garage where Harry was waiting for him.
“It’s going to be fine, baby,” Nick promised, rubbing his finger over Harry’s furrowed brow.
“I know, I’m just going to miss you. It never gets easier,” Harry answered honestly, pressing a kiss to Nick’s lips.
“I know, I’ll see you soon enough. I love you, popstar,” Nick said, kissing Harry. Their last kiss was always the hardest part, knowing that that was the moment that they’d remember in their time apart.
“I love you more, I’ll call you when we land,” Harry said, kissing Nick quickly. He gave his boyfriend one last tight hug before walking away, waving before he got in the car. Tour was officially underway.
Louis grew increasingly grumpier as they drove to the airport, Alberto opening the partition to let them know that there were fans waiting at the private terminal. The boy just wanted to be on the plane so that he could sleep, he didn’t want to have to deal with anyone right now. He missed his papa and didn’t want to be yelled at by the paparazzi that were inevitably waiting.
Pulling up to the runway there were fans about fifteen feet away, Harry would guess that there were 70 or so.
“We’re going to get you guys on the plane and then we’ll come back for your bags. You still want me to bring the car seat, H?” Dale asked, looking at the p-dom.
“Sounds good, and yeah, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. Let’s do this,” Dale said.
“Baby, do you want to take your pacifier out? There are paps out there,” Harry asked, not sure if the boy would want to spit the item out. It angered him to know that paparazzi would completely disregard the law so that they could get pictures of the boy, but he wanted him to be prepared just in case.
Louis simply shook his head, making no move to take the item out. The little’s car door was opened, and Preston, Alberto, Paddy, and Dale were in front of him.
“Grab the blue bag,” Alberto directed, leaning over to unbuckle Louis’ harness. Paddy leaned down to grab the bag, offering Louis his hand to jump out once he was free from his restraints. Making sure to grab Lacy under one arm, Louis grabbed Paddy’s hand with his free one and jumped onto the concrete, the four guards suddenly standing on all four sides of him.
The screams started almost immediately, both paparazzi and fans trying to attract the little’s attention. He heard the scrape of the metal gates against the pavement and immediately tensed up. Hooking his arm with Alberto’s much bigger one, he felt a bit safer.
“Almost there, bud,” Alberto promised, quickly checking behind them to make sure the fans hadn’t broken out of the gate. They certainly were moving it forward, but they were nowhere near where the little was walking, thankfully.
“All right, Paddy’s going to go first and then you’re going to climb up the stairs to the plane, okay?” Alberto guided him. Nodding, Louis quickly followed Liam’s guard up the stairs, breathing a sigh of relief behind his pacifier once he was on the plane. Niall, Liam, and Zayn were already seated on there along with other security guards, Lou, and Caroline. The private plane was spacious and had seats that fully reclined into beds that would make the long plane ride a lot more comfortable. Louis sucked on his pacifier anxiously, going to sit down next to Niall while he waited for his daddy.
“You ready for Oz, mate?” Niall asked, electric smile on his face. Louis nodded, leaning his head on the Irish gad’s shoulder. Niall let out a coo, excited that Louis was finally showing him affection. It lasted all of two seconds, as Harry walked onto the plane and Louis was out of his seat at the speed of light.
“Hi lovebug,” Harry smiled, patting the little’s head, “Let’s go sit down.”
The plane was equipped with flat screen TVs for every row of seats, a kind staff of stewardesses, and like Louis had noticed, extremely comfy seats.
Once they were seated, the pilot came on the intercom letting them know that the flight was about to take off.
A kind looking stewardess walked up to Louis and Harry’s row, bending over while she talked to Louis. “Hi deary, my name is Eve, if you need anything don’t be afraid to let me know!”
Louis liked the way that Eve talked to him and noticed how her smile resembled his nana’s. He took his pacifier out before speaking, “Hi, Ms. Eve, do you have a baba? ‘m tired.”
Harry cut in, “Love, I have your bottle, the flight is about to take off, so maybe Eve can fill it with warm milk once we’re in the air.” The daddy handed the stewardess the bottle, thanking her.
“What nice manners!” Eve commended Louis, “I’ll fill your bottle right up once we’re in the air and bring it back to you.”
After thanking the woman, Harry strapped Louis in. “Are you excited, Loulou?”
“Yeah! I can’t wait to sing new songs,” Louis said, smiling while thinking about it.
“Let’s do this!” Niall yelled as the plane was taking off, everyone in their secluded section at the front of the plane yelling in response and clapping their hands. Louis squeezed his eyes shut as the plane took off, grabbing Harry’s hand. He let out a sigh of relief once they were in the air, happy that the plane didn’t fall apart or break when they were headed up.
A few minutes later Eve brought Louis a bottle filled with warm milk, the boy happy to have the drink. She helped Harry transform Louis’ seat into a bed, a simple sliding out of a segment and the reclining of the boy’s chair. Harry grabbed a blanket that he’d brought from Louis’ crib, making sure the boy and Lacy were tucked in tightly.
“Baba please,” Louis said, laying back on the airplane bed.
“Here you go angel, sweet dreams,” Harry said to the boy. He stroked his hair while the boy drank the bottle, his blinking gradually slowing until he fell asleep. Harry popped the bottle out of his mouth and stuck a pacifier in, the boy quickly beginning to suck on his beloved item.
Harry stood up, walking over to where Liam, Zayn, and Niall were sitting in a row.
“Sup H,” Niall said, giving the man a smile.
“Not much, just got Lou to sleep. Ridiculously excited to land already, though.”
“Don’t get too excited, lad, we’ve got a while,” Liam said, drawing a groan from all of the guys. They had about 12 hours until the landed in Singapore for a refuel, but even then they didn’t have a chance to get off of the plane.
“Is Lou ready to go?” Zayn asked, curious to know how the boy was feeling about getting back on tour.
“He could barely sleep last night he was so ready to go. A bit of waterworks this morning with having to say goodbye to Nick, but he’s ecstatic. The fact that it’s a short tour doesn’t hurt either.”
“Amen to that,” Niall said, pretending to toast his bandmates.
“Do you know if we’re still gonna be doing meet and greets? I know Jackie was tellin’ me that it was up to Louis,” Liam asked.
“He decided that he wants to do them, so we’ll see how they go. I mean let’s be honest, if people are willing to spend that much to meet us I don’t think they’ll be rude,” Harry said.
“And he has all of us there in case anything does go to shit. Little bugger makes my heart melt, I don’t know what he’s doing to me!” Niall said, laughing.
“I know exactly what you mean, couldn’t be more in love with him if I tried,” Harry sighed, looking back to where the little was sleeping.
“Sounds serious. I mean, you guys aren’t… like that… you know what I mean? If you are it’s fine… I just can’t see Louis being like that,” Liam asked, eyes wide.
Harry was quick to deny his questions, “No, no, God no. Never. He’s the most innocent person I’ve ever met in my life, that’s not what this is for.”
“I was just wondering, mate, the only parent/little pair I know is pretty sexual about it, so I didn’t know.” Liam answered.
“And that’s fine, but… that’s not what Nick and I were looking for, and definitely not what Louis needs.”
“He’s noticeably different, I just want you to know that. Happier, more outgoing… it’s shit that we didn’t even notice that he was in such a bad place. But he’s so much better now, H, and it’s all thanks to you,” Zayn said, looking at Harry gratefully.
“Trying to make me cry, mate?” Harry said, a bit choked up. “But really, it’s all for him. He just deserves the best life, and Nick and I want to give it to him.”
“Well, I’d say you’re off to a good start. Now, enough of this Full House shit, I’m gonna go nap until we’re in Australia.” Niall said, starting to shift his seat into a bed.
“Niall… you know that’s 22 hours?” Zayn said slowly.
“Call me a squirrel, boys, I’m heading into hibernation.” Niall said, putting his noise-cancelling headphones over his ears with a salute to his bandmates.
“All right, I’m off to answer some emails, you know where to find me,” Harry said, standing up.
“You really are a dad, H, answering emails. How boring,” Zayn joked with a smile.
Louis woke up feeling disoriented and extremely uncomfortable. He couldn’t help but start to cry as he started to open his eyes, feeling grumpy and realizing that he messed his diaper.
Harry looked up from the book he was reading when he heard the boy next to him start to cry, quickly putting it down on the ground. “Shh, it’s okay pumpkin, daddy’s right here.”
“Daddy, need a change,” Louis cried, starting to sit up.
“All right, baby, no need to cry. Daddy will get you changed right now.” Harry leaned down to pick up the diaper bag off the ground, hooking it over one of his shoulders before picking Louis up from the converted bed. He shushed the boy as he whimpered, conscientious of the fact that Niall and Paddy were sleeping in their section. Eve had told him that the bathroom in the front of the plane had a changing table to accommodate littles, so that’s where he headed. They past the stewardess on the way up there, and she simply gave Harry a sympathetic smile while watching him carry the grumpy little boy.
“Here we go, baby, let’s get you changed.” Harry said, placing the boy on the adult-sized changing table. He pulled down Louis’ sweats before untaping his diaper.
“Want to watch Guppies, please,” Louis said, looking around the spacious bathroom. It was crazy to see what money could buy, Louis remembering the first time that the band flew anywhere and how crammed the bathrooms were on commercial flights.
“Of course, we can get Guppies set up when we’re sitting. Thank you for your nice manners, angel,” Harry praised, causing Louis to blush.
“I miss papa,” Louis said glumly.
“So do I, sweetheart, but we’re going to have so much fun! We can call papa every night and tell him about what we did, and of course we’re going to send him pictures, he’d like that very much.”
The rest of the flight went on pretty smoothly, until they landed in Australia. Louis was feeling unusually clingy since they left, he didn’t want his daddy out of his sight. Any time the man so much as stood up, Louis would look up from his TV show and let out a distressed cry. The little took to following Harry, even waiting outside of the bathroom for him while he went.
When the plane landed, everyone started to get up. It was down to a science at that point, the crew getting off first and the boys getting off last. The director of the Kingsford Smith airport came onto the plane to welcome them and let them know that there were hundreds of fans awaiting their arrival. They knew by now that the only way out was through the fans, and the guards readied themselves. They had 12 guards on tour with them, two more than their usual number. Although Paul didn’t work directly with them anymore, he was still in charge of the company that supplied their security and sent two of his best out with the boys. The bigger they got the more security that was necessary, and with Louis’ classification they didn’t want to take any chances. Harry deeply appreciated it.
“All right, Harry and Zayn are going to go in the first car, then the other three are going to head out. Dale just took a lot out in the terminal and the fans are behind gates, it should be pretty easy. All good?” Phil, one of their guards, said. He’d come on with them at the beginning of last tour to take Paul’s place, and so far he’d been doing a pretty good job of it.
Louis felt his stomach drop at the words Harry and Zayn and the fact that they’d be getting into a car without him. He tightened his grip on his daddy’s waist exclaiming, “I’m going with daddy!”
Everyone tensed up a bit, knowing that Louis couldn’t go with Harry without drawing suspicion. Niall had been reading up on what the fans were saying, and there were already countless conspiracies about Harry being Louis’ p-dom, fans bringing up random pictures and videos and fawning over minute details. The fact of the matter was that Harry didn’t even know Louis was a little until two months prior, so anything the fans were coming up with was pure garbage. Louis didn’t want the world to know that he had daddies, so that was that; their security would obey his wishes.
“Louis, if you were to go with Harry then people would become suspicious. They’re already wondering if you two are paired, so this is to help you,” Phil explained patiently.
The little let out a huff, wishing that the man would understand. Louis didn’t want to be separated from his daddy, he was scared and knew his daddy would protect him. He’d always hated crowds, especially at airports. “I don’t care! I want to be with daddy.”
“Louis, angel, listen to what Phil is saying,” Harry explains gently, forcing the boy to look up at him, “Remember what our number one rule is?”
With tears in his eyes, Louis mumbled, “Louis has to be safe.”
“Good boy, that’s right! Now if Phil thinks that this will keep you safe, then we’re going to go with it.”
Louis couldn’t help but start crying, not understanding why this would keep him safe. “Want you daddy.”
Harry cooed, bending down to pick the boy up. “It’s okay, angel, I’ll see you in just a few minutes. I’ll be waiting at the hotel and we can watch a movie when you get there, okay?”
The boys and guards were standing there patiently, feeling bad for intruding on such an intimate moment.
Louis shook his head, squeezing his arms around Harry’s shoulders almost painfully. “No, need you now daddy.”
Liam interjected before Harry could speak, “Lou, Niall and I will be there with you, bud. You can hold one of our hands, we’ll even stop by Mcdonald’s on the way to the hotel to get ice cream. Sound good?” He made an executive decision to entice the boy with Mcdonald’s, knowing Harry would get over it if it made the boy let go of him.
The little looked up curiously at this, “Ice cream? And you won’t let go? You promise?”
The boys weren’t aware of how important promises had become to Louis in his time spent with Nick and Harry, but Liam knew that he needed to make the boy as comfortable as possible.
“Of course, Lou, I promise. Now come give me a cuddle while we wait to get off the plane, love.” Liam held his arms open with a smile, hoping that the boy would be excited enough by the prospect of Mcdonald’s to leave his daddy.
He looked at Harry, puckering his lips. Harry let out a small chuckle, pressing rapid kisses on Louis’ lips before placing him on the ground. “I love you, pumpkin. Be a good boy and I’ll see you in just a bit.”
Louis sniffled, rubbing his tear stained face on Harry’s shirt. “Love you, daddy.”
Dale clapped his hands together, “All right! Let’s roll out.” Harry grabbed his carry on, handing over Louis’ diaper bag to Alberto.
“Make sure you grab his car seat, thanks Albs,” Harry said, clapping the man on the shoulder.
Waving enthusiastically to Louis, Harry headed off the plane with Dale, Zayn, Preston, and Allen. Niall distracted Louis with conversation about the dolphins they were going to swim with the next day while Phil waited for a text that the first group had made it to the car. Once he received it he let the others know, and they started grabbing their things.
A representative from the airline who was going to walk them out asked if he could help with anything, and Alberto immediately handed him the car seat. Louis grabbed Lacy under one arm and tightly grabbed Liam’s hand with another, trying to keep his breathing under control.
“It’s all right, Lou, I’m going to be right here the whole time.” Alberto said, rubbing his boy’s shoulders.
“Okay,” Louis said shakily. He couldn’t help but be nervous, both the prospect of crowds and paparazzi completely freaking him out. He could do this. His daddy, Liam, and Alberto all promised him they’d keep him safe; he trusted them, he knew that he would be fine.
“All right, follow behind Leo and I,” Phil instructed, heading the group up. Louis was flanked by Alberto and Paddy on one side, Liam on the other. Niall was close behind them, other members of their team behind him and next to Liam. As soon as they’d stepped off the plane there were loud screams ringing in Louis’ ears, and he couldn’t help but tighten his grip on Liam’s hand. He made sure Lacy was tightly tucked under his arm, not wanting to know how he’d feel if she fell to the ground. The group turned a corner to where baggage claim was, and the screams of fans intensified tenfold. They were behind barriers that were slightly moving forward as the fans pushed, security standing in front of them trying to keep them erect. As they neared to where the fans were there were cameras shoved in their faces, both on phones and from paparazzi’s professional lenses.
Louis looked down trusting Liam to guide him where he needed to go. His ears picked up screams of his name, paparazzi asking question after question about who he wanted his p-doms to be, how young he regressed, and why he just came out.
He felt as though they were passed the barricades for hours, wishing his ears could block out the screams. He tried not to still at the clear voice of a pap ringing out, “Is that a diaper or your huge ass, Louis? The fans want to know!” Liam let out an angry huff beside him, urging the little to keep moving.
“It’s okay, love, it’s okay. We’re almost there,” Liam encouraged, squeezing the boy’s hand even tighter. Once outside the airport worker placed the boy’s car seat into the car quickly, Alberto pushing him out of the way to quickly wind the seatbelt into it to keep it secure. Fans were rushing outside, free of their barricades and seeing the momentary delay of the boys having to climb into the car as a chance to get a picture with them. Louis felt like he was going to throw up as he heard the fans running towards the car, wanting Alberto to hurry up. The man quickly picked up Louis and placed him in the car seat, strapping the boy in before slamming the door. The few lightning fast fans that had made it to the car cooed at the sight, snapping pictures of the little in the car seat. It truly was the most adorable sight the fans had ever seen, the littlest band member strapped into a car seat with a stuffed lion held to his chest.
“All good?” Phil asked calmly from the front seat, starting to drive.
Louis nodded, letting out a shaky breath. Liam patted his leg from where he sat beside him, Paddy and Alberto giving the boy encouraging smiles. Niall and the rest of their security were in a second car headed back to the hotel.
“Yeah, I’m good. I just don’t like how mean they are sometimes. Are we going to Mcdonald’s?”
Everyone chuckled, amused by how quick Louis’ mind changed gears. “That’s where we’re headed!” Phil said, shaking his head.
One ice cream cone later Louis was back at the hotel, Alberto dropping off an ice cream covered little at Harry’s door.
“What do we have here? A big ice cream cone?” Harry exclaimed, looking at the vanilla cream dripping down his little boy’s face.
“No daddy, it’s me! Louis!” the boy exclaimed, giggling at how his daddy thought he was something as delicious as ice cream.
Harry gasped, “Are you sure? You look like you’re a big vanilla scoop of ice cream! It’s all over you!”
“It’s me, it’s me! I didn’t have a bib and you and papa weren’t there to hold it, so I got it all over!”
“I can see that, angel! Let’s get you cleaned up. Say thank you to Alberto, babe, and tell him goodnight.”
Louis hugged Alberto in thanks, getting his sticky hands and face all over the guard’s shirt. The guard took it in stride, only grimacing while Louis couldn’t see.
“Any time, bud. I’ll see you tomorrow, rest up so you’re ready for the dolphins!”
The little let out an excited sound, ridiculously excited to play with the dolphins. He hoped they liked him.
Harry shut the door, ushering the boy into the bathroom. He started the large bathtub, happy that they stayed at hotels with such nice tubs. Undressing Louis, he grimaced at the sopping wet diaper the boy had. He hoped that he wouldn’t get a rash, knowing that Louis had been sitting in it for at least an hour.
Once bathed, Harry put the boy on his changing mat and changed him into a thick night diaper and onesie. “I know it’s afternoon back home, love, but it’s night time here. I don’t want you to be cranky tomorrow, so we’re going to go to bed now. Just get comfy in bed while daddy makes you a bottle.”
Louis nodded, confused by the time change. He never really understood how the times changed depending on where they were, but he just went with the flow.
“No crib?” Louis asked, confused.
“No crib, but if you want one then we can have one shipped to each hotel. But daddy thought you could just sleep with him.”
“I want to sleep with you, daddy. Love your cuddles,” Louis said shyly, blushing.
“I love your cuddles too, pumpkin.” Harry said smiling at his boy, screwing the cap on the bottle. He walked back to the bed, climbing on and patting the space between his legs. Louis crawled in between them, snuggling close to his daddy. He closed his eyes as he began to drink the warm milk, loving how it tasted after such a long flight. Harry was overjoyed at the fact that the boy fell asleep as he was finishing the bottle, hoping he’d be out like a light until what was morning in Sydney. They had a long day tomorrow, after all; it was time for Louis to finally swim with dolphins after 21 years of being deprived of the experience. Harry couldn’t wait to see the boy’s face light up with happiness; Louis deserved all of the love in the world, and Harry was happy to be able to give him it.