Chapter 10
Mary Eunice didn't sleep that night. She studied the ceiling, listening to Lana's gentle breaths, as her mind raced.
you're going to lose her, you know. either to thredson and his so-called therapy, or else by doing something hopelessly stupid to ruin it all.
better enjoy it while it lasts.
i can't lose her. i love her.
but you will. and she doesn't love you.
So it went until morning came.
*****
She woke Lana gently, and sent her to shower while she busied herself in the kitchen. As they sat down to breakfast, the previous night's anxiety showed plainly on her face, and Lana stared at her from across the table.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
The girl looked up sharply, startled out of her own head.
"About what?"
"What you're so worried about."
"I'm- I'm not sure what you mean," she stuttered out, avoiding the woman's near-black eyes.
The woman sighed gently, and reached out a dainty hand for Mary Eunice to take.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me, Blondie."
Mary couldn't help but grin. She'd have denied it if asked, but, secretly, she adored the nickname. It made her feel like Marilyn Monroe, or Jayne Mansfield.
"I'm really quite alright, Lana. But thank you."
The brunette leaned forward, lifting Mary Eunice's pale hand to her lips to kiss the back of it.
"I won't press you," she said, dark eyes earnest. "But you can tell me anything. I care about you. I'm always here for you. Always."
The nun gazed back at the inmate. Her heart began to flutter, her eyes to burn. Her voice was barely more than a whisper when she answered.
"I know."
*****
Time passed uneventfully for the next while, with Lana smoking away the hours and Mary Eunice attending to her daily duties, making frequent excuses to find herself in dark corners, sneaking kisses and stealing nips of communion wine with her lover. The nun's restless mind calmed somewhat, and she allowed herself the freedom to simply enjoy what they had. That omnipresent voice in her head still made an appearance from time to time, still ate at her occasionally with doubts and fears. But as she became more comfortable and confident in their relationship, she grew better able to push it back, ignoring it like it had never existed. Every night, she prayed for this strength, and in every prayer, she praised the Lord and thanked him for putting Lana in her path, secure in the knowledge that God is eternal love and love will never be a sin.
The inmate, while still forced to attend therapy with Dr. Thredson, was no longer subjected to his nausea IV, thanks to the nun's intervention. ("No, Doctor, she's quite thin enough. We can't have her bringing up what little she eats every time she sees you. No, no, you'll have to make do some other way.") For this miracle, she was endlessly grateful. ("Mary, honey, now I know there is a God. And you must be one of his angels." To which, the girl had blushed furiously, of course.)
As far as the rest of the aversion/conversion process, she'd still have to get through it.
"What am I going to do?" she'd asked Mary one night after a session of heavy, heated love. "About that boy, I mean. And those pictures."
The girl lightly bit her ear.
"Think of me, darling. Only of me," she whispered. Her stormy eyes glazed slightly as she lost herself in thought, and after a moment she gave a pretty giggle. "They'll let you out of here, and we'll run away together."
The blonde may have been serious, or it could have been an idle fantasy, but that was all the woman needed to hear. Her potent writer's imagination would take care of the rest. A life with her golden seraph outside of Briarcliff proved to be better motivation than even her damn Pulitzer (though she still couldn't shake that particular hunger. "Why not have it all?" she'd told herself.)
So, for a time, things didn't seem so bad, and life at Briarcliff was almost bearable. Almost.
*****
Lana had taken to sleeping in Mary Eunice's room occasionally, particularly after they'd had heavy, deep conversations that stretched into the wee hours of the morning, or if their physical affections had been particularly draining. Most nights, however, she insisted, against her lover's strong protests, that she return to her cell to sleep. In her mind, this was as much to avoid being caught as it was to prevent her from becoming too spoiled, accustomed to the comfort and relative luxury of hot bubble baths and the blonde's bed.
This particular night was no different. The inmate rolled off of the nun to lie next to her, an arm around her waist and breathing heavily into her long neck.
"Jesus," Lana breathed. "That was incredible."
Mary Eunice hummed contentedly in response.
The brunette grinned. "You're the worst nun in the world."
"That is highly likely," she answered softly. "But God is love, Lana. That's all He's ever been."
"You'd know better than me. I'll take your word for it."
A few moments passed in warm, glowing silence, before Lana propped herself up on her elbow to study the girl's face.
"Your God of love... is he here now? With us?"
The beautiful, soft expression on Mary's angel-face faltered for a moment.
say something!
i love her.
don't say that. anything but that.
Finally, she spoke in a whisper.
"God is everywhere."
Lana looked at her for another second before resting her head back on the pillow and kissing the blonde's strong shoulder.
"Well, I'd say that's good enough."
*****
They crept quickly through the halls, Mary Eunice accompanying the inmate to her cell as was their nightly ritual. Once inside, the Lana turned rather abruptly and pulled the girl to her, kissing her lips and giving her ass a good, solid squeeze.
"Mmm Lana.." she purred.
"Better get out of here, Sister."
"Or what?"
"This holy habit of yours may wind up ripped to shreds," Lana growled, tugging on the black fabric for effect.
The nun giggled.
"You're shameless, Miss Winters. Good night."
"Good night, Blondie," the inmate said, landing a parting spank on the girl's firm rear as she turned to leave.
The nun threw a look of mock disapproval over her shoulder, her face believably stern until she laughed and it softened into a good-natured eye roll. With that, she left and Lana closed the heavy door behind her.
She crossed the cold, dank cell, settling in on her thin mattress. Thoroughly spent from her long day, she let her dark eyes fall shut, and didn't open them again til morning.
*****
Mary Eunice slowly made her way through the asylum, her footsteps easy, her heart light. She was certain she must have been smiling stupidly, but no part of her cared. The girl was happy, truly happy, for the very first time in her painful, tormented life. So lost in blissful thought she was, that she didn't hear the footsteps coming from around the corner until the source of them was almost on top of her.
"Sister Jude!" she half yelped, a hand flying to her chest. "Oh my word, you gave me quite a fright!"
The older nun sighed with relief.
"I'm glad it's just you." A beat of silence, and she furrowed her brow. "What in the world are you doing stalking through the halls in the dark?"
oh boy. think, you idiot.
"I- well, that is, I-" she struggled in a small voice.
"Spit it out, girl!"
Flinching at Jude's tone, she stood up stiff as a board, and mustering every ounce of courage, responded with a tight voice.
"I've been praying, Sister Jude. With L- Miss Winters."
smooth.
The elder stared at her incredulously.
"You- what?"
"M-Miss Winters, she's taken an interest. She wants to find the Lord. And, well, Nights are hardest for her, so I've been praying with her. At her bed."
Jude looked at for another moment, before a tiny smile formed on her face.
"Well, well. I knew you had something special in you," she said, smug pride dripping from every word. "To turn around a degenerate like that Lana Winters.." She scoffed. "Shows what those idiots knew. 'Stupid'.. ha!"
She gave the girl's shoulders a squeeze, and Mary Eunice flushed bright red, searing guilt bubbling up in her chest.
"You've done well, child. Now, I think I could use your help tonight."
The young nun nodded, eager to make herself useful, to atone for her dishonesty.
"There's a family downstairs. Their boy, he.. well, he's troubled. I just notified the Monsignor. He's on his way, but they shouldn't be alone in a time like this. Go see to them, I'll be there shortly."
"Yes, Sister, right away."
"Good girl."
With that, Jude continued on her way with purposeful strides, and Mary Eunice hurried downstairs, wholly unaware of what exactly was awaiting her.