#nobodysdamselindistress | darcy + power of social media
With certified Twitter account – there was a little blue check next to her name, and everything – Darcy had her own sizable following of people on social media, especially with how many Internet friends and fans she made via Tumblr. Yeah, most of those people were following her in hopes of a candid of Thor in Earth clothes, or Steve humoring her selfie addiction, but she was lucky to have a lot of good followers. The occasional hater and troll popped up time and again, but they were always quickly barraged by a slew of defensive comments.
Yeah, her followers? Pretty bomb, if she said so herself.
One freezing day in February, when Darcy had just about finished using the bank restroom, a bunch of assholes with masks and guns started shouting at everyone to get down and hand over their cell phones – at least, that’s what she could hear through the air ducts, anyways.
She called Jane – straight to voicemail. She called Thor, too, despite knowing the fruitlessness of it; he had a bad habit of overcharging his cell phone with lightning, and up until now he’d fried at least six of Tony’s hi-tech StarkPhone prototypes. She didn’t bother trying Clint or Nat, or Steve or Sam – all four were out of the Tower on mission work, leaving her with Bruce, whose alter ego wouldn’t really help out, and Tony – Tony who, now that she thought about it, was in Malibu with Pepper.
Fuck.
She thought about sneaking out of the toilets, but realized that the restroom opened directly out onto the lobby. Peering through the vent in the door, she counted eight, maybe nine guys with shotguns and handguns, herding people into the middle of the lobby. There was one dude, who was methodically going around and collecting cellphones and wallets from everyone, and another two leading one of the bank tellers to the rear vaults. Four more stood around the lobby, around the hostages and taking aim at the doors, while the last was arguing with one angry-looking guy who looked like he could crush heads like grapes.
She didn’t realize for a moment what their argument was about, but movement at the angry dude’s feet made her freeze, then gape in horror. There was a little boy, maybe five or six, crying quietly at the man’s feet. A woman, presumably the boy’s mother was sobbing, watching the boy with panic and desperation as one of the thugs pushed her back roughly with his gun.
“Will you shut up?!” the angry dude shouted at the boy, and that was when Darcy saw the gun, pressed against the kid’s temple like a death omen.
She sat back on her heels, her hands shaking, and she thought. After a moment, she took a picture through the door vent, posting it on her social media accounts with the following caption:
@darcylewis: @NYPD_Official robbery on 59and 3 ave, one of them has a gun pointed to a little kid’s head, what do i do?! #help #policewhereareyou #butactually #WHEREAREYOU
She was about to tuck her phone, but jumped a second later when her phone vibrated.
@lmkasap: @darcylewis holy crap i hope you’re okay! @NYPD_Official what’s the hold up?!
@yonkeryodel: RT: @darcylewis “@NYPD_Official robbery on 59and 3 ave, one of them has a gun pointed to a little kid’s head, what do i do?!” shit know any ninja moves?
@iamthefuries: wow @darcylewis seriously tweeting during a bank robbery wtf girl
@grrbrrbaby: create a diversion! @darcylewis
Her Instagram account said much of the same, and she didn’t even bother reading the comments, pursing her lips. On her Tumblr however, she was greeted by a slew of messages that made her pause.
redderredder asked darcylewis:
saw your tweet; hope you’re staying safe. if you’re miraculously around a cleaning closet or a kitchen or something – a bomb or something is definitely possibleoriforest asked darcylewis:
asked my brother who was in a robbery too – said don’t go doing stupid heroics, but if you have to play the game and distract them till the police cometrinitat asked darcylewis:
calling nypd nonstop since your post; got put on hold four times but i’m getting my coworkers to call too, that’s the same bank we use to deposit for our workplace, stay safepandorasbox asked darcylewis:
chem major here – smoke bomb? ammonium nitrate and water, plus some newspaper and a lighterkorrasami asked darcylewis:
got in touch with my cousin who works at the local precinct, he’s sending out the alert
Darcy typed out a quick reply after some quick browsing, making sure to keep an eye on the situation in the lobby – no change yet.
pandorasbox asked darcylewis:
chem major here – smoke bomb? ammonium nitrate and water, plus some newspaper and a lighterdarcylewis replied:
i’m in a bathroom, there’s a closet with bleach, ammonia, buckets and mops, first aid kit and paper towels what do I do
The reply was near instantaneous; the reblogs and additional comments even quicker.
pandorasbox
@darcylewis check for a cold pack in the first aid kit, open bag and dump crystals into empty bucket. dissolve in water dip paper towels in solution. When dry roll up and light with some sort of fire starterundervasser
DO NOT under any circumstances mix ammonia and bleach you could die from chlorine gas poisoningfrododo
don’t pop the center bag in the cold pack it makes it uselessjakenfinn
cold water is better – heat could set off crystals prematurely. use some of that snow outsidevalleyvkuss
if you don’t have a lighter try water and light? http://bit.ly/9jds87/grounderlove
uh, what about hydrochloric acid and ammonia, chemistry 101 people. White smoke er’where. like, you won’t be able to see anythingpandorasbox
@grounderlove could release toxic fumes if the ratios aren’t correct, but works toosregnevaeht
chlorofoam to knock those assholes out? bleach acetone and ice that’s all you needpandorasbox
if using acetone use GLASS holy hell you have no idea how quickly it eats through plastic no joke. also, wear a mask and gloves or something please fumes are not a laughing matterdarcylewis
no time, going with hydrochloric acid and ammonia, bottle was in first aid kit. ratios?grounderlove
1:1, just keep containers closed otherwise you’re going to have premature smoke billowing outoriforest
its chloroform @sregnavaeht but @darcylewis I’d advise against using it because wrong ratios = explosionytsatytsat
ammonia fumes are strong enough to disorient a grown man be careful when handlingpandorasbox
go for it @darcylewis we have faith
Darcy shoved her phone in her pocket, holding the little bottle of hydrochloric acid to the light. Digging an empty water bottle out of the trash, she carefully poured out what she guessed was the same amount of ammonia, feeling her eyes burn a little with the strength of the fumes. Capping the bottle quickly, she eyed the air duct above the sinks, a clear shot directly into the main lobby.
Her phone vibrated with an incoming text, and Darcy cursed under her breath as she dug it out of her pocket.
JANE FOSTER: big guy’s coming, hang tight.
Darcy frowned, and typed out a reply.
DARCY LEWIS: eta?
JANE FOSTER: via hammer, can be there in 2 minutes
DARCY LEWIS: i have distraction; tell me when
DARCY LEWIS: smoke bomb
JANE FOSTER: what?!
JANE FOSTER: no way darcy don’t
DARCY LEWIS: nine guys with guns, thor isn’t invincible
DARCY LEWIS: any backup?
JANE FOSTER: tony is fifteen minutes out
DARCY LEWIS: fuck that im setting it off in three mins get thor here now
JANE FOSTER: darcy wait
JANE FOSTER: darcy
JANE FOSTER: DARCY
Darcy didn’t bother responding. Instead, she climbed up onto the sink counter, testing the give of the old metal grate. The screws were completely loose, the thing dislodging years of dust as she pulled the cover off, and Darcy tried muffling her coughs as she dropped the grate and placed the two bottles side by side in the duct. Maybe a foot or two in front of her, she could see the light of the lobby, slotted by the grate in front of the vent.
She listened for the crack of thunder, foreboding and tumultuous, and when she heard it, she twisted both ends of the bottles off, catching a glimpse of white smoke billowing out of one bottle before she stuffed her bag in the vent, blocking the smoke from blowing back into the restroom.
Darcy climbed down from the sink counter, clutching her taser as she slipped one hand into the brass knuckle keychain Nat gave her during Christmas. When the shouting started, she slipped into the handicap stall at the far end of the row, kneeling on the floor to watch for any feet, and waited.
The first one who came was loud and careless; she caught him two stalls away, and he fell with little more than a quiet “oh!” before thumping to the ground.
The next one was more careful. He started kicking in the doors to the stalls, and Darcy waited until he was one stall away before discharging her taser this time. The prongs caught him by the ankles too, but this guy landed on his back, his eyes catching her crouched form almost immediately.
He opened his mouth to yell, and in her panic Darcy tasered him again – he was cut off mid-scream, and Darcy bolted out of the stall the moment his eyes fell shut, darting for the cleaning closet and pulling the flimsy door shut behind her.
The third one was the angry guy from earlier, who took one look at the two men on the floor and went into some kind of berserker rage. She flinched as he punched the mirror, the entire glass panel shattering under the force of his fist, and she realized with horror that she’d used her last taser charge on that second guy.
Then, thunder filled her ears, and the angry guy charged back into the lobby as the smell of lightening and ozone filled the air. Stupidly lucky, a part of her whispered, but the relief didn’t even register to her pounding heart as she sat in the closet, listening to the battle wage outside, but she thought back to that little boy.
No regrets.
Thor found her ten minutes later, dodging the vicious swipe of the broom handle in her hands.
“Magic and smoke and mirrors,” he said with a grin. He kneeled down to pick up her taser, her bag slung over his shoulder, and he looked to the side, where the two thugs lay in a pool of broken glass. “And two battle victories – you must be honored for your valor, Lady Darcy! There are many awaiting your victorious and triumphant return.”
“Victory and triumph, right.” She dropped the broom, smiling shakily as she fell into his arms. He hugged her, warm and comforting as the smell of leather and incense filled her nose, before drawing back, holding her hands out for her bag and taser.
When he began to protest, insisting that he carry her out, she said firmly, “You do that and I become some poor girl saved by an Avenger.” She stared him down until he nodded in acquiescence. He looked a little sad, and so she said, “I appreciate the gesture, big guy, but I refuse to be pushed into some damsel in distress role for the media.”
Thor stared at her, and a devious smile stretched across his face.
They strode out of the smoke together, out of the lobby and into the throng of police cars and reporters and bystanders crowding the scene. Thor was carrying two guys on his shoulders, dragging another three behind him with one hand, and Darcy was holding the little boy, who the bank robbers tried to threaten to get Thor to stand down – with no luck, of course.
The shot of the two of them, an alien god and a mortal girl, silhouetted against white smoke, made the front page of the New York Times the next day. Tony cut out the article and taped it to the common room refrigerator, bawling like a proud dad while simultaneously scolding her for her reckless stupidity.
Darcy dreaded what Nat would say when she found out.
Over the next few days, Darcy was asked for interviews and radio shows, but turned them all down in favor of sending out one social media post before putting the matter to rest.
@darcylewis: white knights? give me the best followers a girl could ask for #nobodysdamselindistress #tumblrfriendsarethebestfriends #illtakeagodthough
#nobodysdamselindistress trended on Twitter and Tumblr for the next week straight. #illtakeagodthough became a meme sensation.
Again, her followers? The best.