Chapter 4
Frank didn’t remember falling asleep. He woke up slowly, still disoriented from his nap. Opening his eyes, he stared up at the ceiling and realized a few things: he was wearing a shirt, his hands weren’t restrained anymore, he was still lying on top of his captor. Frank shot off the bed, stumbling onto the floor in his haste.
Memories of his ‘reward’ tormented his mind. He didn’t even fight Gerard. He just let him do it. That disgusted him almost as much as his captor’s actions. Frank let him do it and it felt good. He had enjoyed it and begged for more. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“Frank?” Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Gerard sat up.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
The other man looked almost disinterested. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Frank barked out a laugh. “Man, you’re such a freak, and you don’t even know it.” He ran a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. “I mean, you-you molested me!”
Gerard rolled his eyes.
“You keep saying this bullshit about how you’re helping me, like I’m some sad little stray or something. How was that supposed to help me, Gerard?” Frank wasn’t sure when he got so weak. He used to get into fights for the fun of it in high school because the assholes he fought with were always quick to misjudge him. If this had happened to Frank four years ago, he would already be back home. “You’re just a sick motherfucker who gets off on treating me like I’m helpless. I’m sick of it.”
Frank always liked throwing the first punch, catching the dumb fuck who chose to fight him off guard. It was just as satisfying then to feel the dull pain in his knuckles and to see his captor’s face get knocked back. Gerard slammed him onto the floor. Frank kicked him in the stomach with his knee and reversed their positions, landing hits in Gerard’s face. He only stopped because one second he was straddling his captive’s chest and the next, he was curled into a ball on his side and someone was screaming. There was a sharp ache radiating from Frank’s neck and throughout his entire body.
“Shut up!”
Frank knew Gerard was kicking him, but he couldn’t move. He could barely get himself to stop screaming. He took in broken breaths until Gerard stopped, collapsing onto the floor next to him.
“You’re so fucking stupid.” His captor said, wiping the blood from his nose.
Frank brought his knees up to his chest. He wished he had been wearing rings when he punched Gerard.
“You’re so goddamn lucky, Frank. Everyday I choose to look past how stupid you are because I love you.” He sighed, “Fuck, I’m saying this wrong.” He dug into his pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He took a drag and let the cigarette hang out of the corner of his mouth. Frank has never been so jealous of another person. “It’s not that you’re unintelligent, I wouldn’t call you that. You’re misguided, I told you that. You just have a problem—problems,” he corrected himself, “you never think before you act, you chase adrenaline like it’s crack, you put too much faith in people who hate you because you love them too much. Don’t get me wrong, these are all things I love about you Frankie, but you’re right. I’m a sick motherfucker.” He huffed out a laugh at Frank’s grimace. “Sooner or later you’ll realize that I’m the only person who’ll put up with you all the time, not just when you can give me what I want, when you can be the perfect student or friend or bandmate or son. I’m the only one who wants you when you’re bleeding and shaking on the floor because of your own stupid impulses.”
Gerard stood up. He dragged Frank over to the bed, letting him feel the ache in his ribs from being kicked, before he picked him up and placed him on the bed.
*****
The following days were uneventful.
Gerard fed him breakfast every morning, bathed him, and left him chained to the bed. Frank tried to fight him a few more times, but Gerard would shock him until he screamed, slap him until his ears rang, or kick him until he cowered, curled up in a ball on the floor. Frank didn’t know how to feel about it. He knew he should be outraged. And he was. He always was until it was time for Gerard to bathe him again and the older man gazed sadly at the bruises blooming on his skin, always looked at Frank with wet hazel eyes full of disappointment and pity. It made Frank want to shrink into himself and hide away from the other man. It brought the snakes in the pit of his stomach back to life, all of them hissing at him and writhing until he felt like vomiting whatever Gerard fed him for breakfast.
Sometimes his captor would spend the afternoon upstairs, sometimes he would spend them with Frank. He would ramble about anything, X-Men, Doom Patrol, B-movies, music, Steven King novels, Star Wars. Frank often found himself thinking that he could’ve been friends with Gerard under different circumstances. That thought would always make him sick, so he tried to ignore Gerard on these days. The other man didn’t seem to mind.
In the evening, Gerard fed him dinner and let him use the bathroom again, and Frank would often be too exhausted to fight him. He suspected his captor was drugging him, but he wasn’t sure. Frank had been fighting exhaustion everyday before Gerard took him. When he didn’t have work, he would spend the entire day asleep if his neighbors didn’t wake him.
Some nights Frank swore he was being watched. He could barely make out Gerard’s form in the dark, looking over him from afar.
Frank doesn’t realize that he’s gotten used to this routine until it ends. One morning, Gerard doesn’t come into the basement. At first, Frank isn’t sure if he woke up earlier than usual until the pale light that he’s grown to associate with midday comes streaming through the window. He choked out a sob.
Before Gerard, Frank never cried. He didn’t cry when he got kicked out, didn’t cry when he accidentally broke three of his toes on stage, didn’t cry when Pencey played their last show. He has cried everyday since he was abducted.
Frank didn’t know why he was crying. He should have been glad that Gerard wasn’t there, but all he could think about was horrible things happening to the other man. He feared that he had died in his sleep or fell down the stairs and broke his neck or had gotten into a car crash. He was the only one who knew where Frank was. Without him, Frank would starve to death before anyone found him. He was panting, struggling to breathe until he finally felt Gerard’s cold fingers against his hairline.
“‘m here, Frankie. I’m sorry. I had to wait until the bakery was open.”
Frank furrowed his brow until he saw what Gerard was holding in his other hand, a red velvet cupcake.
“Happy birthday, Frankie.”
“It’s my birthday?”
“Yep! I have to admit, I’m a little jealous. I mean, you have the coolest birthday. Anyone would be jealous.”
Frank had to stop himself from crying again. Gerard took him on the 13th, that meant he had been trapped for almost three weeks.
“Thank you, Gerard,” he said shakily.
The older man beamed as he began to feed him the cupcake. “You’re sweet today. That’s good, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to give you your present.”
Frank’s stomach dropped. He hoped his present wouldn’t be like the ‘reward’ Gerard had given him.
Gerard undid the restraints on Frank’s left hand and pulled something out of his back pocket, a flip phone. Frank’s flip phone. “Before you get any ideas, I took the SIM card out, but that’s all I did. You should still have any calls or texts from before this morning.
Frank looked between his phone and Gerard, not quite believing what was happening. He opened his phone, expecting to see calls and texts from his friends, maybe even one from his parents, but there was nothing.
Frank Iero had been missing for three weeks, and the only thing he had to show for it was a single missed call and a voicemail from Todd.
“Iero, I swear to God. I told you yesterday was your last chance. Don’t bother showing up tomorrow.”
Frank swallowed. “You’re lying,” he told Gerard, unable to meet his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“You didn’t take the SIM card out this morning, you did it three weeks ago.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Frankie.”
“Stop fucking calling me that!” Frank wiped the tears from his face but they kept coming. “You’re lying!”
Gerard reached out to touch Frank’s face, but he jerked his head away.
“You’re a fucking liar. They’re looking for me. Someone is looking for me.”
“You’re not even a missing person, Frank.”
Frank sobbed more, clutching his phone. “Shut up! Stop lying to me.”
Gerard sighed. “Do you want me to bring you a newspaper? You’re not a missing person. No one knows you’re missing because they didn’t even notice that you’re gone. Don’t you get that?”
Once again, Frank couldn’t breathe. He was trapped in this basement with Gerard forever. No one was coming to save him. Maybe no one cared enough to save him if they knew he was missing. What would even happen if he escaped? He had no job, he would surely lose his apartment when he missed his rent next week. His ‘friends’ didn’t care that he was missing. They probably wouldn’t care if he was homeless.
Maybe Gerard was right.
Maybe he was saving him.
Frank hated his life. He was a college dropout working at a dead-end job. He lived in a shitty apartment, he had shitty neighbors, and his parents hadn’t spoken to him in over a year because he quit school and got a neck tattoo to show how dedicated he was to his band. His band that was broken up. His band full of ‘friends’ who didn’t care to contact him in three weeks.
No one wanted Frank in their life. No one except Gerard, who showed Frank how much he wanted him from the beginning.
Frank sniffed and dried his eyes. “Thank you, Gerard.”
The older man looked startled at first but his expression softened into a small smile. “You’re welcome, Frankie.”
The rest of the day went on as usual. Gerard fed him breakfast even though his left arm was still free. He bathed Frank and dressed him and the younger man didn’t cringe when he pressed a kiss to the side of his knee while doing so.
He spent the afternoon alone. Frank had time to reflect on the day, but he wasn’t sure what to think. He wanted to keep being mad at Gerard, but he was too exhausted. The past three weeks had stolen his energy. What happened that morning made him realize how much he depended on Gerard. Frank hated living alone. He hated his cold, drafty apartment. He had been trying to get a new place so he could have a dog and then maybe things wouldn’t feel so lonely. That all felt so stupid now. Frank’s old life didn’t exist anymore. Frank’s old life wasn’t even entirely real. If you had asked him a month ago if he thought he mattered enough for people to notice if he went missing he would’ve said yes without hesitating, but that wasn’t true.
The only person who truly cared anymore was Gerard. And his fucked up way of “caring” could hardly be called that some days. Maybe that was all Frank deserved.
Gerard came back, pulling Frank out of his thoughts. “I brought you a surprise.” He was holding a portable DVD player that he set on the bedside table before he began to undo Frank’s restraints. He handcuffed his hands in front of him this time and left his legs free. Gerard sat on the bed next to Frank with the DVD player in his lap and pressed play.
“The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell—” the movie began.
“Texas Chainsaw?”
“Yeah, it’s one of your favorites, right?”
Frank nodded.
Gerard grinned. He pulled Frank closer to him so that his head was resting on his shoulder. Once again, the younger man wanted to dislike what was happening, but he didn’t know how long it had been since he had done this with another person.
Things with his friends had been tense leading to Pencey’s break-up, and Frank had never really been the dating type. But he loathed to admit that it was nice to be next to Gerard. He was warm even though his hands were always cold. He smelled like coffee and old books and a small but growing part of Frank wished the DVD player wasn’t resting in his lap so that he could be there instead. He found himself ignoring the movie completely to focus on Gerard. He tilted his head up so he could meet the other’s gaze and pressed their lips together before his better judgment could advise him against it.
Frank missed kissing. He liked kissing almost as much as he liked fighting, but he knew that he would never fight Gerard again if he could keep kissing him like this. The older man’s lips were soft and warm against his, and it was innocent at first. At least it was until Gerard lightly bit against his bottom lip and Frank found himself letting out a soft moan that seemed to only spur him on. Gerard moved the DVD player out of the way and pulled Frank into his lap and the younger man wished his hands were free so he could run his fingers through the other man’s short hair. Their power imbalance made him feel dizzy while Gerard licked into his mouth as if he was savoring every part of Frank so that he could commit it to memory. The younger man moaned again when his captor sucked on his tongue and he found himself becoming pliant under Gerard’s kiss. He let the other man take the lead and they only pulled away to breathe. Frank’s face was flushed and Gerard’s pupils were wide with hunger. Frank let himself be pushed onto his back so Gerard could climb on top of him. Their lips reconnected and Frank looped his restrained hands around his neck to keep him there.
Maybe Gerard was all Frank deserved, but at least he loved him. And one day Frank could learn to be okay with that. One day, Gerard’s love would be all he needed.