Chapter 9
The first game came and went fast. With one win in the bag, the girls were intensifying their practices wanting to be the best they could be. Ashlyn was working her ass off to prove she was good enough to start games over hope and Ali was working her hardest to continue to get better. The couple didn’t have much time to spend together during the period between their first and second game.
Ashlyn wanted to hang out with Ali every chance she got but she also knew that she had to push herself every chance she got. She was working on her first punches, her palm pushes, the static goal kick, and in-hand goalie kick. Ashlyn knew she had to push herself to make her skills better therefore proving that she deserved to be started every once in a while. She was working on her weaving, touching, and saving.
Ali would be lying if she said it didn’t suck getting to spend as much time with Ashlyn. They had about four days in between their games and all Ali wanted to do during their free time was just hang out and relax, but Ashlyn had other plans. With one day until the next game against Sweden, Ali made sure to steal her girlfriend away from her intense training routine before she blew her off again.
“What’s up, Al?” Ashlyn asked with her eyebrows knitted together. It was as if she didn’t realize that she was pushing off time with Ali.
“Can we hang out today?” Ali asked her girlfriend with her best puppy dog eyes, hoping to persuade the blonde girl.
“Babe, you know I am trying to get as much practice in as I can. We can hang out later tonight.”
“Ashlyn come on. You have been pushing yourself every damn day since the last game. You need a break and I miss you.”
“Ali,” Ashlyn said with a sigh, “I promise we’ll hang out later.”
“You know what Ash; go have fun pushing yourself to your limits. Also, don’t count on hanging out with me tonight; I suddenly want to be alone.” Ali said with a huff, turning on her heel and walking away from her girlfriend.
She could hear Ashlyn calling after her but she didn’t have time for this bullshit. Ali understood her girlfriend’s dedication to the sport and she admired her want to be a better player, but if she were to keep pushing herself this way she would end up injured. She just wanted Ashlyn to take a break and realize that she really needed it. Ali knew that later tonight her girlfriend would come knocking on her door to apologize but she vowed to herself to stay strong and actually be alone tonight.
She was sure she sounded like some crazy girlfriend who was just craving attention, but in reality, she just had Ashlyn’s best intentions in mind. She wasn’t going to stick around and baby the girl, that wasn’t her job. So when Ali got to her room, she lay down on her bed and took a much needed nap. When she woke up later in the afternoon, Kelley was just waking up from her nap as well. She had asked Ali if she wanted to hang out with some of the other girls but Ali politely declined.
Ali spent the next few hours in her hotel room alone and listening to music. She was trying to get her mind off of all the negatives and just focus on the positives. She wanted tomorrow’s game to go well and she knew if she let the bad get to her mind then her game would be off. Around five o’clock a knock came from the door and she knew exactly who it was, it was her girlfriend who had been blowing her off for the past couple of days. With a roll of the eyes, she said “go away Ash, I told you I want to be alone.”
“Ali, come on, don’t be like this.” Ashlyn said through the door.
“I’ll see you at team dinner tonight.” She said and went back to her previous activity. She knew Ashlyn hadn’t gone away, in fact she could hear the girl sit down against her door. It took every ounce of will power to not open the door but Ali was trying to prove a point. Soccer was important, it was their dream, it was their profession, but you can’t always focus on just that and push everything else out of the way and right now Ali felt like Ashlyn was just pushing her away and that was a really shitty feeling.
Around six the hotel door opened and in walked a smiling Kelley and Alex followed by Ashlyn. Ashlyn immediately walked over to Ali’s bed, but Ali gave her no attention, rather keeping her eyes fixed on her phone instead.
“Babe.” Ashlyn said but got no response. “Baby please, would you just look at me.”
Ali kept her cool though and continued to type away on her phone. Ashlyn continued to try and get her attention while Kelley and Alex watched with interest from the other hotel bed. Soon Ali heard a frustrated sigh from Ashlyn and felt her get off the bed.
“For fucks sake Alexandra, would you please just look at me!?” She said in a raised voice and at that point, Kelley and Alex basically ran out of the room.
“Fine. Happy?” Ali said finally looking up to meet her girlfriend’s eyes. She could feel tears stinging her eyes and threatening to fall because of the way Ashlyn spoke to her.
“Can you please tell me what has you in such a pissy mood and why the hell you’re ignoring me?”
“Oh dear God Ashlyn, you know exactly why!” Ali said standing from her bed, her voice rising. “You have been doing nothing but training for the past 3 days!”
“Yeah, and?” Ashlyn said with a bewildered look on her face. “This is my career, I am trying to prove myself.”
“I know Ashlyn and I am very happy that you are but you have been working yourself to the damn ground. Over the past three days we hung out at night and within five minutes you were passed out. I get that you need to prove yourself and all but you are going to end up injuring yourself with all of this extra practice.”
“Are you sure this isn’t about you and me getting to spend time? Because it just sounds like that, I doubt that you’re upset because I am training too much and that I could get injured.” Ashlyn said throwing her hands up.
“You know what Ashlyn,” Ali said, tears freely cascading down her face at this point, “Yeah I am upset about us not hanging out but I am more upset about your wellbeing. For you to even question that is a dick move and you don’t understand how much that hurt me. I’d like to ask you to leave or do whatever you want; I am taking a nap until dinner.”
The conversation ended just like that and Ali went back to her bed, shoving her face into her pillow and letting out a much needed sob. She expected to hear the hotel door slam shut like it would in her other relationships but something much different happened. Ashlyn kicked off her shoes and climbed in the bed next to Ali. She brushed the hair off of Ali’s neck and kissed it, cuddling up to her side. “I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m going to stay with you no matter what and I don’t want to leave. I just hope you can forgive me for the idiot I have been acting like.”
Ali didn’t respond, instead she just kept crying. She forgave Ashlyn, of course she did, and she loved her. It was just like so many emotions were hitting her at the moment. She was sad because she was hurt, she was relieved because Ashlyn stayed and apologized, and she was also extremely overwhelmed. None of her past relationships ever stuck around after an apology. Especially when she would cry, they would always storm out. At this moment she realized how lucky she truly was to have Ashlyn in her life.
After a few minutes Ali lifted her head from the pillow, turning her body so she could bury her head into Ashlyn’s chest. “Of course I forgive you. I never meant to act like some crazy girlfriend. I was just afraid you were going to get hurt and I was afraid you were pulling away from me.” She mumbled into her shirt and she felt Ashlyn’s arms tighten around her. No more words were shared between the girls and son enough Kelley walked in, telling them dinner was in 20 minutes and then she left.
The two girls broke apart from each other and finally took in each other’s appearances. Ashlyn looked tired, there were dark circles under her eyes and she just looked like she needed a month’s worth of sleep. Ali had tear streaks down her face as well as some dark circles under her eyes. Ashlyn grabbed a towel and went to the bathroom. She had wetted it under some water and came out to Ali, wiping the smeared make up off of her face. When she was done, she dropped the towel and wrapped her arms around Ali.
“I don’t like fighting with you.” Ali said.
“I absolutely hate fighting with you.” Ashlyn said with a soft laugh.
Ali broke away from the hug and lifted her pinky finger. “Promise me that we won’t argue like that again. I was afraid you were going to walk away.”
Ashlyn linked their pinkies and kissed her hand. “I promise. I meant it all that time ago when I said you were my soulmate, Ali. You’re my person and I know that I am yours too. I won’t walk away from this because I want it so bad. Of course we will fight but I will always stay no matter what.”
“I’ll always stay too.” Ali said and kissed Ashlyn lightly.
“Good.” Ashlyn said. “Now let’s go to dinner, talk with our teammates, discuss tomorrow’s game and then get ready for bed.”
“We’ll kick ass together tomorrow.” Ali said linking their hands together.
“We’ll always kick ass together.” Ashlyn said with a grin.