I'll Tell You Something I think You'll Understand
Eventually, after enduring many snide remarks from Indra about the amount of time the two young leaders had wasted on emotional scenes in the past day alone, the three women finally managed to end up in the small clearing just on the edge of the camp where the ritual party was waiting. Most of the members of the party were no longer on their horses, having been waiting in the clearing for over an hour at this point, and some even appeared to be taking naps near a grouping of bushes, but all of them snapped to attention as soon as the women arrived. Once they did, Indra left the two leaders with a last mumbled remark that sounded suspiciously like she was accusing them of being ‘idiotic and overly emotional babies,’ but Clarke was barely paying attention enough to notice. Instead, she was entranced by the people that had been called together for this ritual.
As Lexa had warned her, the group appeared to be an assortment of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas of about equal numbers. However, Clarke was completely unprepared for the eclectic variety in the kinds of people that were there. As far as she could tell, there were only three warriors in the bunch in addition to Indra, one of each standing, who were all decked out in their armor and weapons. The rest of the people seemed to be from every aspect of life possible. There were blacksmiths, bakers, healers, handmaidens, housewives, househusbands, farmers, a few teenagers, a few elders, and even a man who Clarke was fairly certain was this camp’s equivalent of the town drunk. And they were all suddenly very focused on Clarke and Lexa as everyone began to mount their horses and prepare for the ride to the Sky People’s camp.
Suddenly feeling very self-conscious under all of their gazes, Clarke found herself tensing up and shutting down for the next several minutes. She wasn’t even really sure why she was doing it, she had been stared at before, a lot if she was being perfectly honest with herself, and it had never been a problem. But, something about the way this group was analyzing her and surrounding her in this particular situation, just as they were about to go announce her mating intentions to her people, was completely overwhelming Clarke.
As a result, not much of the next several minutes really registered in Clarke’s mind. She knows Lexa made a small statement to the group, though what she said went straight through one of Clarke’s ears and out the other, and then Clarke somehow managed to climb onto her own horse and start riding along the road in the dead center of the group next to Lexa. But, the only thing Clarke could really focus on was the fact that she was completely out of her element and really didn’t understand what was going on or what was about to happen.
Lexa was worried. Clarke seemed to be lost in her own world frozen inside her own head and had completely stopped responding to Lexa and the things going on around them. At first, when Clarke hadn’t said anything after Lexa’s rallying speech and sincere thank you to the group, she assumed nerves had caught up to the blonde and so she tried her best to soothe the Omega by rubbing her back softly and pumping out calming pheromones as she helped her climb onto the back of her horse. But Clarke didn’t even seem to notice.
Lexa didn’t let it worry her at first. Clarke’s pheromones weren’t troubled, just muted and slightly confused, and Lexa was confident that Clarke would snap out of her thoughts in a minute or two, or when they started moving at the very latest. But now they had been riding for several minutes and Clarke was still tense and unresponsive and Lexa had to admit that she was worried. The members of the ritual party kept glancing at them and frowning in confusion and concern, it was their job to detect if something was wrong or off about the pair declaring their intentions to mate after all, and Lexa was really, really getting worried. She didn’t want the ritual party to have any reason to doubt her and Clarke’s devotion to each other. Such doubts would only lead to a challenge and Lexa really didn’t want to have to fight anyone today.
So, after another minute of silence where the only thing going through Lexa’s mind was their most recent conversation about communication, Lexa made up her mind and started angling her horse closer to Clarke’s until their knees were brushing each other’s saddle with every one of their horse’s steps. Once she was close enough, Lexa carefully leaned over so that she could stoke Clarke’s face with one hand while she whispered in her ear, “Clarke, please come back to me, ai hodnes. Where have you gone? Clarke?”
After a few minutes of quiet cooing, Lexa was relieved to finally see Clarke’s eyes sharpen as she was eventually pulled out of her mind and into awareness again. The Omega blinked unsteadily for a minute, looking around and assessing what was going on, before she eventually turned to stare directly into Lexa’s eyes with a small, but happy, smile on her face. She giggled softly, “Sorry, Lex. I got kind of overwhelmed and my mind froze up on me for a bit.”
Lexa smiled back, still stroking Clarke’s face with her hand. “Not to worry, love. It happens to everyone. But please tell me, why were you overwhelmed?”
Clarke’s smile faltered for a second as she glanced around at the ritual party and noted that they all kept glancing in their direction every few seconds. No matter what, there was always someone watching what she and Lexa were doing. It seemed to unnerve her and Lexa frowned at the spike in nervous pheromones coming from the blonde.
Turning back to Lexa, Clarke said in an even softer voice, barely audible over the hoof beats, “I guess I just suddenly realized I don’t really know what’s going on or what to expect from this ritual. Why do they keep staring at me, Lexa?”
Lexa let out a small sigh and shook her head in relief and disbelief at her own idiocy. How could she have forgotten to go over the details of the ritual with Clarke? After that first day when they discussed their desire to mate, they had really barely talked about what this ritual entailed beyond the fact that they needed to do it to start the mating process in Lexa’s culture. Shaking her head again, Lexa smiled softly at her Omega and was again relieved when Clarke’s pheromones started calming in response to the gesture. “I suppose that is something important for you to know,” Lexa joked softly.
Clarke rolled her eyes in response. “You think,” she deadpanned.
Lexa flashed another smile before launching into an explanation, still stroking Clarke’s face and practically whispering into the girl’s ear simply because she was enjoying the closeness. “This ritual was designed for mating between the clans. You see, in the beginning there were several instances of people being forced into mating with members of other clans for one reason or another, which has always been against our culture, but no one was able to notice until one or both of the mates looked completely miserable or uncomfortable after the mating.” Lexa paused.
“What reasons were they forced? Do you not have political mating here?” Clarke asked, confused.
“We do have political and arranged mating here,” Lexa said hesitantly. “But, there are very specific situations and steps that are taken in those instances. There is an official way to do those to ensure the safety and happiness of all involved.”
Clarke nodded.
“These forced mating instances were more of the abusive or manipulative kind,” Lexa continued. “We would find out later that someone had been slowly tearing down their partner or friend in another clan, sometimes even family members would team up on a child, emotionally and physically until they were able to manipulate and force them into mating with them or someone else for one reason or another. Sometimes it was for unofficial trading reasons. Sometimes power. Or family debts. Sometimes I think it was just because some people are like that. But the problem we had was that these people would be broken down and coerced into thinking they wanted to mate and then the next thing anyone would know was that they were mated and being hauled off to another clan completely miserable and tied to either an abuser or someone they had no connection to whatsoever.”
Clarke nodded again seeming very sad and Lexa wondered if similar things happened on the Ark. If they did, based on what she has heard about life on the Ark before, she realized it was likely that they were common and accepted in Clarke’s community. There may have even been moments in Clarke’s life where the Omega believed it would or was in danger of having it happen to her. A sharp pain shot through Lexa’s heart at the thought and she subconsciously pulled the Omega closer and tucked her chin into the girl’s neck, whining slightly.
Clarke seemed to understand what Lexa was thinking because soon a soft hand found its way to Lexa’s thigh while soothing hums were pressed into the top of Lexa’s head. After a moment, the sharp pain diminished and Lexa sat up slightly to meet Clarke’s eyes. “Sorry,” Lexa murmured.
Clarke shook her head slightly and gave her a soft smile without speaking, but her eyes spoke louder than any words and Lexa knew that Clarke understood and appreciated what Lexa had been thinking. The hand on Lexa’s thigh squeezed slightly but did not move and Lexa took a deep breath in response, preparing herself to continue.
“Anyway,” Lexa said softly, trying to remember where she left off. “Once this problem became widely known among clan leaders, they came up with this ritual as a way of preventing it. They made it illegal to mate between clans without going through the declaration ritual and promised extremely harsh punishment to anyone who didn’t do it. The ritual itself is fairly simple. The intended mates must gather a group of people from one of their clans – usually the clan of either the Alpha or the more dominant pursuer in the relationship - and travel to the home clan of the other mate. The group of people must be a collection of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas from every walk of life and social standing. There must only be three warriors in the party. This is done in hopes that their combined life experiences will allow them to catch every sign possible that the relationship between the intended mates is at all unbalanced or forced. On the journey to the other clan it is the party’s job to analyze the pair as closely as possible, scrutinizing their every interaction, and decide for themselves based on what they know about life, love and mating, whether or not they believe our dedication to one another to be mutual, sincere, and loving. If any of them have any concerns, they are supposed to discuss it with the others and decide what to do. If they decide the concerns are strong and valid enough, they will approach the warriors and have one or more of them challenge the dominant mate during the ritual.”
At Clarke’s horrified look, Lexa paused and smiled again. “It’s okay, ai hodnes. As I told you before, that is the purpose of this ritual and it is not a fight to the death. When the party gets to the clan of the other mate, that mate must announce to their home why they are there – in your case that might involve a little more explanation and reassurance than is present when the ritual takes place in clans that know what it is – and then announce that anyone who doubts or challenges our relationship has the right to challenge the Alpha or more dominant pursuer mate in a fight in front of everyone. At this point, any who challenge from your clan and however many warriors from my clan that have been elected by the party to challenge me, if there are any, will line up and have the opportunity to fight me until one of us is unconscious or otherwise incapacitated. Then, if I am the victor, I would move on to the next challenger and the next until either I lose or I have defeated all challengers. The point of this is that it is assumed that only my true devotion for you will keep me fighting through however many challengers appear and, if there are too many challengers for me to handle, then clearly there are too many doubts about the relationship for it to be allowed to proceed into a mating. If there are no challengers or I manage to defeat all that present, then we are allowed to mate and marry and be on our way. Does that make sense, hodnes?”
Clarke still looked upset about the prospect of Lexa fighting anyone, let alone multiple people, but she nodded slowly. “I think so,” she said eventually. “Although I am now really concerned about how they might have interpreted my freeze earlier,” she continued as her eyes darted around nervously without really focusing on the people watching them.
Lexa laughed slightly. “There is no need to worry, hodnes. I admit, they looked concerned at the time, but they have also been watching our interactions since then very closely and I have seen a number of them smiling amusedly and lovingly in our direction as we talk. The rest no longer look skeptical, just determined.”
Clarke let herself look around at the people more closely and was relieved to see that Lexa was right. A number of the party members were glancing their way with smirks and smiles firmly planted on their faces. One of the warriors even met Clarke’s eye as she looked their way and winked at her before looking away. Clarke blushed and let out a long breath. Lexa chuckled again at her side and Clarke swatted her thigh slightly in retaliation before finally pulling it away and leaning away from Lexa so that she was sitting straight on her horse for the first time in a long time. Her back cracked in relief and she groaned softly.
Lexa was disappointed at the loss, but was amused when she heard Clarke groan and straightened out as well to settle back into the ride, although she kept her horse close enough to Clarke’s horse that their legs continues to brush because she simply couldn’t force herself to give up the contact. Clarke chuckled softly.
“How long before we reach my camp?” Clarke asked after a few minutes.
“It will not be long, now,” Lexa replied. “You should prepare for what you are going to say. As I mentioned, it must be you to announce the ritual to your people.”
Clarke nodded and spent the next several minutes trying to find a concise way to explain to her people what was happening and that she was okay and wanted this. However, every now and then she found her mind spiraling into worried thoughts about who might challenge Lexa on her behalf. Often settling on the worry that her people might take this as an opportunity to try to fight and harm Lexa simply because they wanted to, not because of their relationship, and that scared her to death. Although, every time this happened, Lexa seemed to notice the change in her almost immediately and would reach over to comfort the Omega with a pat on the leg or a stroke on her arm. Eventually, while Lexa was in the middle of stroking Clarke’s arm yet again, Clarke gave up all appearances and simply grabbed Lexa’s hand in her own and clutched it for the rest of the journey. And that was how they rode up to the gates at the Camp Jaha nearly forty minutes later.
When the party stopped outside of the gates, Lexa tried to pull her hand away softly, most likely out of a desire to allow Clarke to appear as independent and strong as she wished, but Clarke needed the support and merely clutched the hand tighter and shot her a pleading look in response. Lexa nodded understandingly and left her hand where it was, squeezing reassuringly.
Luckily the guards at the gate didn’t seem threatened by the party at all and immediately started to allow them entrance. At first Clarke assumed it was because their group was so obviously not a war party, and that may have been part of it, but as they moved into the camp she noticed that one of Lexa’s messengers was waiting just inside the gate by their horse and she realized that they must have sent someone ahead of them to warn the camp they were coming. Slowly, they all dismounted their horses and left them with a few Sky People who had come to take them, before moving carefully into the area of camp where people had already started to gather in preparation.
Clarke noticed that the ritual party had fallen behind Lexa and Clarke as they walked toward her people and she could barely hear them muttering to each other in rushed, hushed, Trigedasleng. She didn’t know what they were saying, but she knew they were discussing their conclusions on the relationship and she sincerely hoped they would decide to have none of their warriors challenge Lexa.
When they finally reached the place the Sky People had gathered to greet them, Clarke was relieved to see several of her friends in the crowd. Bellamy, Monty, and Raven rushed forward in greeting and gave her quick hugs. Each of them asked her if she was okay in hushed tones, shooting suspicious glances toward Lexa – whose hand Clarke had finally released in order to hug her friends - and the grounders in between frantic scans of Clarke’s body as they searched for any damage and signs of distress. She assured them she was fine and eventually they nodded and stepped back, although Bellamy, being the only Alpha among them, sent several more suspicious glares in Lexa’s direction as he stepped back to the rest of the crowd. Clarke was touched to see Lexa doing her absolute best to ignore him for Clarke’s sake.
Then, Clarke’s eyes landed on her mother who was standing at the front of the group looking like she wanted to come and greet Clarke with a hug as well, but wasn’t sure if it would be accepted. Clarke nodded to her in greeting and she nodded back sadly, accepting that was all she was going to get. After scanning the crowd one more time, noticing all of the familiar faces that now circled her and Lexa, she took a deep breath and launched into the announcement she had prepared.
“As I’m sure you all have heard, I was struck by my heat during my latest round of discussions with Commander Lexa.” She paused as she noticed that several of the members in the crowd, mostly the few Omegas who had chosen to stay, flinch at her words. “It is alright,” Clarke continued, “it was this incident that led me to discover that the people here have a much different view of Alpha, Beta, and Omega rights and actions. The Commander did not take advantage of me. She did not hurt me and she barely even allowed herself to touch me to push me away during the times that I, admittedly, tried to throw myself at her as she helped me through my heat. As I’m sure you heard when her new decrees went through, her people believe that Alphas can in fact control themselves and that Omegas do not deserve to be beaten and taken advantage of simply for being Omegas.” At those words several of the Alphas seemed to look guilty, most likely because this was something they had discovered about themselves years ago, but had accepted their cultures beliefs and played into them nonetheless. To her utmost surprise, however, Bellamy looked the guiltiest out of them all and Clarke made a mental note to herself to bring it up with him at a later, less public, moment.
“In fact,” she continued again, “during this time and once my heat was over, Commander Lexa and I had time to talk, which allowed us to reveal our feelings toward each other. We love each other and wish to mate. But, in her culture a ritual must be performed before that is allowed to happen to insure that no one is being forced into a mating they do not actually want. That is what this is. So, if there is anyone out there who doubts our devotion to each other or who wishes to challenge our mating, you have this opportunity to fight Lexa. If you incapacitate her, then our mating is off, but it she incapacitates you and anyone else who challenges, then she has successfully proven the sincerity of our mating. The group of people that we have brought with us are here for the same purpose. They have been watching us and if they believe we are insincere, they will challenge Lexa as well.” Clarke nodded one final time and looked over to Lexa.
Lexa had watched Clarke address her people, the people who had caused her so much pain in her life, with such conviction and leadership that her heart expanded and beat hard in her chest, struggling to contain the amount of love it held for the girl. When Clarke’s speech started winding down, Lexa snapped herself back into focus on what she needed to be doing and slowly began removing her coat, tossing it to Indra in the crowd, and preparing for any challengers. When Clarke nodded and turned to her, she nodded as well and, in the most commanding voice she could muster at the moment, her nerves spiking more than she cared to admit, she said, “All challengers step forward now.”
Clarke held her breath and looked around frantically. Her first instinct was to check the warriors they had brought with them, but they were all casually standing in the back of the crowd and smiling at her.
Relieved, she then moved her attention to her own people. To her surprise, she saw several Alphas who looked absolutely murderous. They were glaring at Lexa and pumping out the most dominating Alpha pheromones they could muster, but they were not stepping forward. Clarke realized that, although she recognized all of them, she had never interacted with any of them, which means that they are most likely Alphas who lost their Omegas or despised Lexa for her new decrees about Omega treatment and wanted to hurt her for it. However, they were not stepping forward. She saw one of them glance to the side grumpily before fixing her eyes back on Lexa and, when she followed the angry female Alpha’s line of sight, she saw her mom.
Abby was standing where she had been before, but now she was shooting a death glare at all of the Alphas who were acting up and clearly emitting a warning growl of protection. She must have actually listened to what Clarke had said the other day and told the other Alphas not to do anything. Clarke’s heart did a funny stutter in her chest and she felt a strange amount of affection for her mother in that moment. It wasn’t much, but it was the first time in a really long time that her mother had really listened to her and done something, anything really, against other Alphas for Clarke’s benefit alone. And Clarke felt like her mom might actually love her some and it took her almost a fully minute to regain her composure and break her eyes away from Abby to continue to scan the crowd. To her surprise, no one seemed to be stepping forward, although Bellamy kept fidgeting in a way that was starting to really scare Clarke.
After another minute or so, he cleared his throat, breaking what had become an almost deadly silence in the gathering. Then, he spoke haltingly, “May I- I mean, can – Would it be okay if I asked Clarke something, before I decide? Is that allowed?”
Everyone’s eyes flicked to Lexa, whose attention had been completely focused on the angry Alphas until Bellamy’s interruption. Clarke hadn’t noticed it before, but Lexa looked like she was so tense she would leap on anyone who made the slightest movement. When the young Alpha leader turned to face him, she moved with a stiff gracefulness that reminded Clarke of a lion preparing to pounce on the prey it had been stalking. For a moment Clarke was worried that Lexa would take the fact that Bell had spoken as challenge enough. But, after a moment, she nodded her head jerkily and then remained fixed on Bellamy as if she expected him to be using this as a ploy to attack her while she was off guard.
Bellamy nodded back quickly before flicking his eyes back to Clarke, not daring to take even one step forward as she asked in a soft, concerned voice, “Princess?”
Clarke knew exactly what Bellamy was asking in that one word. From the moment he spoke up, she knew her wasn’t doing it because he wanted her for himself or anything like that, they had never been romantic toward each other. In fact, they both felt they had developed a bond that was very similar to the one he shared with Octavia, as he had once told her after a night of drinking a few weeks after she reconciled their peoples. He had admitted that he thought of her as another sister that he needed to look after and, while at times that angered Clarke because she got tired of Alphas constantly trying to control and protect her, she was also very touched and happy because she loved and looked up to him like a big brother as well. So, in that one word, the title that their rag-tag bunch of delinquent friends had given her so long ago, she understood him to be asking her if she was really okay. If she really wanted this. If she needed him to step in. And so she smiled at him as best she could, touched by his concern but also still very tense about the situation, and she said in a voice that carried all of the emotion she could muster, “It’s my choice, Bell. I love her.”
He studied her eyes for exactly five seconds after that. Five seconds. And then he smiled, nodded, and dropped his eyes to the ground to show his nonthreatening intentions. The entire camp seemed to let out a breath at that.
After several more tense seconds of waiting, Indra stepped forward with Lexa’s coat and announced, “The declaration ritual had been completed successfully without challenge. The intended mates are now free to move forward with their mating at their own pace with the full support of both of their peoples. Congratulations.”
And just like that it was like the bubble of tense energy that had been building in the camp finally popped and people were cheering and rushing forward to congratulate them. But Clarke barely even noticed because as soon as Indra stopped talking, she found herself completely enveloped in Lexa’s arms, cradled by Lexa’s body, and overwhelmed by the most intense, happy, relieved, and loving kiss she had ever experienced being pressed onto her lips. She didn’t hesitate to kiss back.