Stupid decisions

Levi couldn't tell you that he wasn't worried about Eren because that would be a straight up lie. He was worried about Eren and he hated himself for being such a coward. He hates that whenever he has mustered up enough courage to talk to Eren, all of it flies out the window when Eren smiles or huggs him upon noticing that Levi had come to see him.

Now however, Levi sits by himself in Eren's room as the object of his affections is in the kitchen making lunch for the both of them. Levi had picked Eren up from work earlier that day, saying that he needed to talk to Eren and pronto. The look on Eren's face told Levi that he was assuming the worst and that made Levi mentally slap himself for being to blunt about such simple matters so he assured Eren that it he had done nothing wrong and all Levi wanted to talk about was private.

What if you didn't reassure him like you thought you did?

What if he still is thinking the worst?

You are such an idiot Levi!

Why do you have to be such a blunt asshole all the time? 

Would it hurt to show some emotion to someone as precious as Eren?

Levi was broken out of his thoughts when the gorgeous jewel named Eren walked in holding a plate full of mini sandwiches and two cups of black tea.

"Hey... got us some lunch." Eren said. Honestly when he had noticed that Levi was waiting for him in the parking lot in his black Mercedes, Eren had been excited. However, that all vanished when he saw the look on Levi's face. He felt himself deflate when Levi said 'We need to talk.' Eren was filled with worry and dread as they drove to Eren's place. That feeling pulling at his heart and mind with each step they took. 

What if he has someone already? It's possible since he looks so fucking handsome.

What if he's realized how much of a fuck up I am and leaves?

What if he sees how shitty I really am? or worse. What if he remembers why he left me in the first place and disappears from my life all over again?

As Eren brought the tray of sandwiches and drinks to the small desk in his room, he tried to surpress his inner terminal. Opting to hear Levi out before he combusts under his own worries and assumptions.

"... So..." Eren mutters as he sits down next to Levi.

"So..." 

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" Eren asked. Trying to not sound so worried. Hoping Levi didn't notice the slight shake in his voice. 

Levi did hear the slight edge to Eren's voice and he hated that it was his own bluntness that had Eren so nervous and worried.

"About the other day... after Annie and Mikasa tried to kill me... remember?"

"Yeah..." Eren said, unsure of where Levi is going with this.

"When I had came out the shower... I saw you and you looked as if something was... bothering you." Great job Levi, kudos to you.

So this is what he wanted to talk about huh? Fuck you Jäger, for lacking the inability to be low key!

 "... Oh..." Eren muttered from the rim of his tea cup.

"Oh? Why are you saying that? Did I say something wrong? Because if I did i'm sorry..."

"No of course not..."

" .... Did I bring up smething you didnt want to talk about? Am I going to far?..."

"Levi... "

"Because I can totally drop it and pretend that this doesnt worry me... " 

"L-Levi... ?"

"...cant say I'll be okay knowing something is bothering you but I will suck it up... if thats what you want..."

"Levi!"

Levi stopped his rambling when Eren sternlyy called his name.

"Its fine okay... I was just surprised is all... I was kinda expecting a different topic actually." Eren admitted embarrassedly.

"Oh... Okay..." Levi muttered, taking a bit of his sandwhich. "Are you sure?...because if I did im sorry..."

"Levi im positive chillax old man." Eren said smiling a little. Levi 'tsk'ed at being called an old man... again.

"So whats bothering you?" Levi asked after some minutes passed of comfortable silence.

"It was just... " Levi looked over when he heard Eren sigh. It wasn't a 'Its a pretty hard thing to say' type of sigh but was a 'FUCK im going to regret saying this so please just change the topic... im like 99.99 % uncomfortable right the fuck now' type of sigh.

"Its okay if you dont want to talk about it. I know im not the best person when it comes to doing these things... I just wanted to know if you were okay and if there was anything I could do to help..." Levi finished.

"No... its fine im just... just nervous..."

"Im all ears love." Fuck Levi! There you go again, saying things that you damn well know you shouldnt say. Now he is going to hate you even more than he does now! This was why Levi was dumbstruck when Eren smiled at him lovingly.

"When i saw you being jumped by Annie and Mikasa... it brought me back to the days when you and those two lovebirds would argue over something as simple as cleaning the house 'properly' even though we all killed our backs cleaning the apartment like 4 or 5 times but it didnt meet your standard of cleaniness..." Both men chuckled at the memory.

"Or when we would all pillow fight because you were tired but Mikasa was being a bitch and kept talking mad loud just to anger you..." Levi remembered that time, it was funny as shit. He looked at Eren lovingly.

"... It also reminded me of when Mikasa and Annie interigated you... when I announced that we were... offical." Levi's breath hitched. He remembered that day. It was honestly one of the most amazing days of his life. He remember feeling relief when Eren had suggested they come out to his overprotective 'guardian's. Levi had been all for it, happy that he no longer had to pretend to be Eren's 'Friend' in the presence of the she devil's. No longer having to restrict the amout of love bites on his lovers neck when they made love.

As Levi sat there, he recalled the finest memory of that entire day. Once they had gotten home Levi was on Eren like white on rice. Recalling how he took Eren over and over that night, on every suitable surface they could find in their love/lust filled frenzy. He recalled how he and his young lover had woken upon the kitchen floor. He almost laughed when he remembered how disgusted he was when he saw the whole house in a mess, as if a tornadoe had gone through. However, he had no one else to blame but his dick and himself.

"Levi... please say something... even if its to laugh at me or insult me just... say something." Eren pleaded, hating himself beacuse he knew he should have never said anything. He should've came up with a like similar to 'im fine' but instead chose to spill his thoughts that have been haunting him since that night.

"I dont know what to say..." And it was true, he didnt know what to say. He couldn't say 'oh well that weird' because one: it wasn't. Just the thought of Eren thinking about those fond memories they've had together had his heart soaring and two: that would just be mean. He couldn't say 'What a inconvience I think of the same things when im all alone and missing you' because that would freak Eren out and ruin this friendship they've come to.

"Im sorry... fuck just forget that I said anything okay. Just forget that I miss you and forget that I still love you. Forget about me and find someone worth your lo..."

Levi Silenced Eren with a deep, passionate kiss.