...Hope you're alright...
It has be a year and a half. One whole year and a half of agony, nightmares and painful memories. Come to think of it... it hasnt really been that long. But all the suffering I've endured sure made it seem like a thousand life times.
I live with my sister Mikasa and her fiancé Annie. They just recently sold their apartment to buy a small but roomy house along the end of the city. Though I never wanted to intrude on both their lives with my hideousness, they had insisted (Forced) on me living with them. We even built a side house, even smaller compared to theirs but just as roomy since it was only me living there, along side the main house. It even was connected by a small hallway that attached itself to the sliding glass doors.
I have a steady job. Annie had helped get me hired at her job... well since shes assisstant manager and all. Though I work part time, I get a fairly good pay check every week. Its enough money to get food into my fridge, give Mikasa and Annie a fair share (even if they whine and protest) and keep the rest stashed. I dont really care about what I look like or what I wear. I would be fine wearing a box over my entire body if it ever came to it. As long as it would hide my ugly face and even worse body from peoples eyes then im happy. Mikasa wouldnt let me though, no she would beat my assuntil the next century if she saw me wearing cardborad boxes as clothes. Thats why I choose to buy baggy clothing, such as XL sweaters and sweat pants... anything to hide my hideousness.
The first time I met Annie was the day Levi had started with his strange behavior. She was quick to warm up to me and soon enough she was joking around and smiling more around me... like him. I knew from the moment I layed eyes on her and Mikasa that those two had something going on. However, I had waited until they were ready to tell me personally that they were dating. Needless to say, I was the very first person they told. Mikasa and I didnt have parents to tell and I learned later on that Annie and her brother didnt have parents to tell either. After they told Armin and he told Sasha, the secret wasnt a secret anymore because Sasha knew Hanji and she wouldnt hesitate to spread good news around.
Anyway... this brings me to the topic of Annie's brother Riener. She had introduced us a while back. Probably around the time Levi left. The reason? Completely coincidentual. He had just recently moved to Pennsyvaina when Levi had left me. Thus, she took her time introducing us (approximatly 4 days after Levi left).
It had been a bad, depressing day for me. I had sent the agonizing message that Levi left me to everyone I knew. Those words still hurt my already disfigured heart... even till this day. Annie and Mikasa had been furious and even though I never knew why...Riener had been furious too. Mikasa and all the rest of my friends had been so mad but I had already given up and told them that it wasnt worth it... not anymore.
I have to admit that Riener is...Hot! With his blue eyes, blonde spikey hair, strong body and his personality... oh nevermind. Someone as handsome as Riener wont go for some worthless bag of burdens for someone else to carry. Wouldnt spare me a second glance let alone touch me.
I already had tried going for someone who obviously deserved better and look where that has me.
Levi was right. Im just a worthless piece of shit under someones shoe.
I sighed "Levi... where ever you are...I hope you're happy."