December
Stumbled around the block a thousand times
You missed every call that I had tried
So now I'm giving up
A heartbreak in mid-December
"Hi! This is Christen, I can't get to the phone right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!"
"Chris," Kelley slurred out, "I- I miss you. I need you. Please pick up. I just wanna talk. Call me back when y- if you get this. I'll see you in Hawaii."
With that, Kelley hit end call. She's tried countless times to reach out to Christen. She had made so many mistakes with their relationship since college and Christen always found a reason to forgive her.
But this time, it was different.
Christen didn't accept Kelley with open arms.
She didn't listen to the half-assed excuses that Kelley gave her.
But most noticeably, she didn't return Kelley's calls.
I was looking out our window
Watching all the cars go
Wondering if I'll ever see Chicago
Or a sunset on the West Coast
As the National Team arrived in Hawaii, Kelley was delighted to see so many familiar faces. Yet when she saw Christen's face, she wasn't quite as delighted. The team filed into the dining hall. The two did their best to avert each other's eyes. Kelley took her usual spot next to Alex and Tobin while Christen stuck relatively close to Morgan and Julie's side.
Everyone began to file out and with the perfect timing of fate, Kelley, Morgan, and Christen all were in the elevator together.
Kelley was thanking God that Morgan was her roommate, because if it were anyone else, she'd be stuck in the elevator alone with Christen.
Morgan cleared her throat. "So, it kinda sucks that the game got canceled. I mean, it's good that we're finally sticking up for our playing rights and all, but I would've loved to have played in Hawaii, ya know?"
Christen's eyes hardened. "I know what you mean. The league is constantly putting our priorities under the men's team and their own. It's hard to keep relying on them when they keep disregarding our opinions."
Kelley was quick to pick up on what Christen was implying. "But you guys have to admit that the whole organization has us pretty well off. Without it, we wouldn't have our careers. Sure, they have prioritized us over the men, but we'll get there. And I think that they have rehashed things. Time is the only variable."
"Kell," Christen replied slowly. "Don't you think that they would've righted their wrongs if it really meant that much to them? Think about it. It's right there in front of you."
Kelley hesitated for a moment, almost faltering. But after a brief pause, she righted herself and spoke smoothly. "They do care. They have strange ways of showing it, but they do. They'll come around. It's human nature. Mistakes are bound to be made, but those who really care about a cause will do whatever is needed to fix the situation." With that, the elevator button rang. "Come on Moe, this is our floor."
I miss your face
You're in my head
There's so many things that I should have said
A year of suffering, a lesson learned
Kelley and Morgan were rooming together for this leg of the victory tour and Morgan had her hands full to say the least.
"Morgan, I messed up. Like really, really messed up. She's never been mad for this long. I'm going to lose my best friend. Oh my God. I fucked it all up. What am I going t-"
"Kell, I love you, but just shut up. Calm down for just two seconds. Are you good?"
"Yeah," Kelley took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Alright, listen to me. You and Christen have been each other's number one supporter since college. I've seen the way she looks at you when you aren't paying attention. She looks at you like you're her world, and you are. I haven't seen her look at anyone else like she does you. I've talked to her over these past couple weeks. She isn't done. When I helped you out at your soccer camp, she called me right after. She wanted to know how you were doing, if you were taking care of yourself. No matter what, she's going to pick you. I agree, you did fuck it up. But she can't help herself. She loves you. I hope you've learned your lesson. One of these times she isn;t going to let you come back."
"But I've left her a million messages. She won't answer any of my calls. She would always answer no matter when I called."
"Has it ever occurred to you that she needs some space?"
"I don't know, Morgan. I think she's really done this time."
Morgan let out an almost inaudible sigh. "Honestly, I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe it's for the best." She stood up from the edge of her bed and slowly walked over to Kelley. She gave her a soft pat on the back. "Well, I have coffee plans with Danny and Emily. I'll be back later if you still want to talk."
The corners of Kelley's mouth slightly turned upward. "Thanks, Moe. I needed this."
Before she closed the door behind her, Morgan gave Kelley an apologetic look. "You'll figure it out, Kell. These kinds of things always have a funny way of straightening themselves out."
I hope you get your ballroom floor
Your perfect house with rose red doors
As the Victory Tour drew to a close, Christen ended on top. With scoring four goals in two games, she was feeling an intoxicating surge of confidence. Yet when she came face to face with Kelley in the hotel lobby in New Orleans, she quickly sobered up.
"Press, listen. I'm not here to try and fix anything. That's long overdue. I just wanted to say congrats on these last few games. You really gave it your all. I'm proud of you. Julie was telling me that you've been pretty hard on yourself. I'm glad that you've got it back." Kelley let out a small laugh. "It almost was like Déjà vu. Seeing you like that reminded me of our college days."
"Thanks, Kell. But honestly, who are you trying to kid? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love hearing that, especially from you. But to be fair, would you be standing here right now if I hadn't gotten upset with you a few weeks ago? Would you really be so concerned about my self-esteem if things hadn't ended like they did?"
Kelley looked around cautiously before she continued. "Oh, please. We both know that's a bunch of bullshit."
That comment took Christen by surprise. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. That's such bullshit. I'll always care about you. I don't care if we never speak again; I'll never stop caring. And just because I fucked up doesn't give you any right to assume how I feel." Christen could hear the anger in Kelley's voice. "I fucked up. Big time. I recognize that. But you were it for me, Chris. I want to do life with you. I don't care if I don't see another gold medal or World Cup trophy in my lifetime. You're my prize, Press. And God only knows what'll happen. I just want what's best for you." At this point, Kelley's voice had softened. "I know you want to travel the world and make a difference, and I hope you find someone who will go on that journey with you. I hope you get those three kids that you've always dreamed about. Just find someone who will go on this adventure with you, okay? I'm not saying it has to be me or anyone in particular; hell, it could be the cashier from In-N-Out. I just want you to make your life worth while."
Christen had been mentally preparing herself for weeks on what she'd do if she had to face Kelley. But everything she had planned on saying, had been overcome by her indecisive feelings for Kelley. "Oh my goodness. Kell, I just- I need some time."
"I get it. Trust me, I do. But I have one question. And I want you to be completely honest with me. I don't care what your answer is, okay?"
"Yeah, sure. It's not like this could get any more awkward."
"Alright. I called you like a million times. And you never picked up. Not once. Why? I know I screwed up, but I would've at least like the have been told off, rather than not hear anything at all."
Christen sighed and looked at the ceiling. "I just knew that if I heard your voice, even if it was just for a second. I'd melt. I wanted to stay mad at you. I wanted to have my space to think. And if I would've accepted one of your calls, I would've fallen right back. I knew that I would've seen you at camps, but I figured I would face that when it happened. I still need more time. Listen, I've got to catch a flight to L.A. Have a nice Christmas, Kelley."
As Christen reached the front doors of the hotel, Kelley yelled out, "You know, I'm still going to call you. This isn't over. You'll have to pick up sooner or later."
Christen slowly turned around and called back, "I don't think I can pick up anytime soon, O'Hara. We'll both move on."
Watching Christen leave, Kelley mumbled to herself, "Speak for yourself."
I'm the last thing you'd remember
It's been a long lonely December
Every day since Kelley watched Christen walk out of those hotel doors, she had called her every day; and she had been ignored every day.
Considering she no longer had a significant other to celebrate the holidays with, Kelley made her way down to Georgia to spend Christmas with her family. While everyone was cleaning up the dinner table, Erin pulled her aside.
"Mom caught me up on the whole Christen thing and might I say, you really did it this time."
"Gee thanks, Erin. You really know how to make a gal feel welcome, don't you?"
"You didn't let me finish. I think you need to take the reigns. This is all on you. We all saw how happy Christen made you. I don't want to see you lose that. I think you need to figure this out, Kell."
Although she didn't want to admit it, Kelley knew that her older sister was right. With that, she excused herself and stepped outside onto the front porch.
As she punched the digits into her phone, the pattern was all too familiar. She had dialed this number one too many times.
After the third ring, Kelley grew impatient. She knew that this time wouldn't be any different than the others. The fifth ring was just about to begin when she heard a click and muffled noises on the other end.
"Hello?"
Kelley was almost in too much shock to piece together a sentence. "H- hey. Um, Merry Christmas."
"Thanks, Kelley. You too."
"Christen?"
"Yeah?"
"You're not fucking with me, right?"
Christen allowed herself to let out a genuine laugh. "No, no."
"They why'd you finally decide to pick up?"
Christen sighed. It wasn't a depressing or tired sort of sigh. It was merely an indicator that she had realized what she should have seen all along. "Can I be honest with you?"
"Yeah, totally. Of course."
"I picked up because I realized that I should be hearing your voice instead of avoiding it. I spent so much time trying to figure out why I shouldn't go back to you yet, all I could come up with were reasons why I should. I talked to Morgan the day after we left New Orleans. She told me what you guys talked about."
"Oh, God. I don't know what she told you but if sh-"
"Kelley, just shut up for ten seconds. I miss you. I want to hear your voice again. I'm ready to fall for you."