Chapter 13
This time, Glinda wakes up slowly. Pale, rosy light fills the cave, and she and Elphaba are lying across the ground, intertwined. Her arms are wrapped around Elphaba’s skinny waist, her face tucked into the crook of her shoulder. Still half asleep, Glinda squeezes Elphaba tighter, and that’s when it hits her.
She can’t help it; she starts giggling. Elphaba shifts next to her, pressing smiling lips to her forehead.
“What’s so funny?” she asks, running a hand through Glinda’s hair. The blonde shakes her head.
“Nothing. I was just thinking.”
“About?”
Glinda wraps her fingers in Elphaba’s jacket, then smoothes the material out again. “For my interview, my stylist gave me these shoes. They were beautiful—made of solid emerald. I remember thinking that I would never in my life hold anything as precious as those shoes.” She turns her head back into Elphaba, smiling into her neck, and holds her closer. “I was wrong.”
Elphaba’s fingers run through her hair again and Glinda closes her eyes, relishing the sensation. She feels rather than sees the dark green blush that warms Elphaba’s neck, and she wants nothing more than to stay in that moment forever.
They do stay like that for a while, tangled and holding on to each other, but after a few moments Elphaba shifts. She only pulls back a little, but it’s enough for reality to settle in between them.
Glinda’s heart sinks. She knows what Elphaba is going to say before the green girl even opens her mouth.
“We can’t do this.”
Glinda reaches up to tuck a lock of dark hair back. Elphaba’s eyes flutter shut, but she sighs.
“Glinda. We can’t.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.” Their eyes meet. “Yes, Elphie, I do. I get it. This is stupid. This is pointless. This is going to get us both killed, and even if one of us survives we won’t come out as the same person. But none of that changes the fact that, even if you made me leave right now, I would still follow you and do my best to stop anyone who comes after you. None of that changes the fact that everything I ever thought I knew changed when I met you.”
Elphaba bites her lip and looks down. “This can only end badly.”
“Elphaba, we’re in the Hunger Games. It can’t really get much worse.”
There’s a long moment of silence, broken only by Elphaba’s sigh. Glinda sits up, kneeling so that she’s perpendicular to her, and grips Elphaba’s hand in both of hers.
“Maybe it’s stupid,” she whispers. “Maybe it’s the worst decision ever made in the Games. But if time is against us, what else can we do but make the most of it?”
“I don’t know…”
“Do you trust me?” she asks suddenly. The green girl looks away and mumbles something. “Elphie?”
Elphaba jerks her hand away, sitting up, and in an instant she’s cupping Glinda’s face and kissing her, hard.
Glinda lets out a whimper and her entire body flushes, but she wraps her arms around Elphaba’s waist. Elphaba breaks the kiss but leans closer, pressing their bodies together even more. She tucks her face into the crook of Glinda’s neck, inhaling deeply.
“I trust you,” she breathes, her voice catching. Glinda feels the tears against her neck. “I trust you.”
***
They hear the cannon a few hours later, just after they’ve dished out a handful of berries and a chunk of stale bread.
“This should get us through the rest of the day,” Elphaba says, peering into her little pack. “But we’ll have to focus on finding food tomorrow.”
Glinda’s response is cut off by the thundering sound. She and Elphaba look at each other and move soundlessly toward the back wall of the cave.
“It sounded far off,” Glinda breathes after a moment or two.
“They won’t find us in here,” Elphaba agrees. Still, they stay pressed against the rock, as far away from the outside world as possible.
That’s how the day goes—quiet, curled together in their cave, ignoring the rest of the arena while they can. They take turns resting against each other, tangling fingers or playing with hair.
Elphaba dozes off sometime after lunch. Her head, which has been resting on Glinda’s shoulder for the last half hour, starts slipping down her arm. Once in a while she’ll jerk awake and sit up, only to nod off again. After the third time, Glinda, biting back a giggle, wraps an arm around Elphaba’s shoulders and guides her down to rest on her lap.
She amuses herself for a while with Elphaba’s hair. Even after a week and a half in the arena, it’s still somehow silky to the touch. Glinda thinks of how beautiful it must be freshly washed and taken care of, and she wonders, briefly, if it will ever be that way again.
When she’s been asleep for a while, Glinda carefully extracts herself from Elphaba and stands, ignoring the dull throb at the back of her skull. She’s starting to get thirsty, but her water bottle was lost with the rest of her supplies. There might be a stream nearby, but that would mean leaving the cave.
Glinda stretches for a moment and looks back at Elphaba, still asleep. If she hears water outside, she’ll go look. If not, she’ll come right back in. Either way, she won’t be gone for more than a couple minutes. It’s worth finding out, isn’t it?
She climbs up the steep slope of the cave’s entrance, blinking furiously as the light grows brighter. She kneels behind the bushes that cover the mouth of the cave and peers out.
The arena is quiet enough, and there are no signs of any other tributes ever being nearby. There’s the low, consistent murmur of running water, but it’s distant, probably too far to walk within a couple of minutes. Glinda hesitates, glancing over her shoulder into the cave. Elphaba is safe here—she probably won’t even wake up—but is venturing out worth it? She swallows, noticing that her throat feels thicker than before, and rubs at the back of her head. The knot at the base of her skull is tender to the touch, and she can feel flaky, dried blood around it. She looks longingly toward the sound of the water.
It’s only a matter of time before another tribute or the Gamemakers catches up with them, though, and Glinda isn’t all that eager to push their luck. Besides, the thought of Elphaba curled up, asleep and alone in the cave is enough to make her turn right around and go back inside.
As it turns out, Elphaba isn’t curled up or asleep. Instead, she’s scrambling to her feet, looking frantically about the cave. Glinda hears her rapid breathing, feels the slight charge in the air, and hurries to her side.
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” she whispers, kneeling beside Elphaba and stroking her hair back.
“Where were you?” Elphaba demands. She grips Glinda’s arm and pulls her closer.
“Nowhere,” she says. “I wanted to know if there was water nearby so I went to the entrance to look around. I never left the cave, I promise.”
Elphaba’s eyes search her face, but she calms down. The air stops humming and her hold on Glinda loosens.
“Sorry,” she mumbles. “I just…thought I heard…” Glinda takes her hand and she shakes her head. “It was a dream.”
“It’s okay,” says Glinda, pressing her lips to her cheek. “We’re okay here.”
“We’re not.” But Elphaba closes her eyes and leans in to the touch.
Glinda shifts to sit more comfortably against Elphaba. It’s so calm and so quiet that, after a while, Glinda feels herself starting to fall asleep. Her eyes flutter shut and she lets out a sigh. Elphaba’s hand finds hers and intertwines their fingers, and Glinda smiles into her neck.
“So…water?” asks Elphaba.
“Mm. It sounded like it was a few minutes away.”
“We should check it out. I’m thirsty, and I think moving around will do us good.”
Glinda snuggles her face further into the crook of Elphaba’s neck, her eyes still closed. “Do we have to?”
“You think there’s someone out there?”
“No, but I’m sleepy.”
She feels Elphaba’s chuckle more than she hears it. Glinda pushes herself upright and scowls at her. “Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are!”
“Come on,” says Elphaba, climbing to her feet and pulling Glinda up with her. Her face is serious, but there’s still laughter in her eyes—not that Glinda really minds, of course.
They climb carefully out of their cave and head toward the sound of running water. Elphaba was right. It feels good to stretch their muscles, even if they keep looking anxiously over their shoulders for signs of other tributes. The knot at the back of Glinda’s head throbs with every step, and Elphaba’s feet drag more than usual, but the fresh, cool air is rejuvenating. Even better, they make it to the stream without any sign of danger.
Now that she’s in the light, Glinda can see the crimson stains on her hands from killing the mountain lion. And Jeron. She hesitates at the water’s edge, studying the creases of her fingers and trying to remember how to breathe.
Green hands wrap around hers. Glinda meets Elphaba’s eyes as she tugs her hands down into the water, gently scrubbing at the stains. Neither girl says a word.
Afterward Glinda gulps down several handfuls of water, then splashes some over her face and neck. She doesn’t want to think about how gross she looks, but as she washes the dried blood from the back of her head she can’t help it. She leans over the water, trying to catch a glimpse of her reflection, but the surface is too choppy to show her a clear image.
The walk back to the cave is almost as uneventful as the walk out. The only difference is, about halfway back, Glinda reaches down and finds Elphaba’s hand. And as they walk together through the trees, the birds even dare to sing.
***
It’s Glinda’s turn to nap as the afternoon rolls on. She slumps against the wall, resting her head on Elphaba’s shoulder, and lets her eyes shut. The next thing she remembers is sitting halfway on Elphaba’s lap. She sighs and leans further into Elphaba’s chest, drifting off again as arms tighten around her.
Glinda wakes again to the sound of humming in her ear. She considers opening her eyes, but then thinks better of it. Elphaba’s hum turns into singing, and though it’s under her breath and Glinda only catches a few words, she feels it. The melody doesn’t fill the air, but it fills Glinda, bringing a sense of calm, relief, maybe even hope. Elphaba’s voice holds possibility. It conjures up a world outside the Games, somewhere Glinda can almost see, even with her eyes closed and her face pressed into Elphaba’s jacket. Her chest tightens with emotion, her eyes sting, and she inhales Elphaba’s smell and lets blissful sleep take her again.
When she finally wakes up again, she can only think of how safe she feels in Elphaba’s arms. She opens her eyes but doesn’t move. Instead, she gazes out of the cave at the sky. The very air has turned gold, glowing in the late afternoon sunlight. She can picture the sun hanging low over the mountains, and she imagines what this valley could look like without the Games. What did it look like before, without all the traps and the tributes and the bloodshed? What will it look like after?
“Are you awake?” Elphaba asks softly. Glinda nods. She starts to move off her lap, but Elphaba stops her, pulling her to sit between her legs. Smiling, Glinda leans back into her chest, and after shifting for a second, Elphaba leans forward and rests her chin on Glinda’s shoulder.
Glinda sighs contentedly. She thinks that it might just be the most peaceful day of her life—a snapshot in the chaos of the Games, where she and Elphaba can just hold each other and rest and not worry about what’s coming.
They divide the last of Elphaba’s food and watch the golden light outside the cave begin to dim. Glinda looks at the sky, dreading the moment it turns dark.
“We should watch the anthem,” she says quietly. “Find out who that cannon was for.”
“Yeah.”
Glinda tries not to care, but she really hopes Fiyero’s picture doesn’t appear in the sky. For a moment she wishes for it to be Avaric, but then she remembers what Elphaba said a couple days ago, about no one deserving to be in here. She remembers that Avaric’s family is legendary in the Games, and that he’s been preparing for this even more than she has. And unlike Glinda, Avaric probably never had a choice. From the day he was born, he was a tribute. Another piece in the Hunger Games.
It is in that moment, with pity and regret and shame swirling through her, that Glinda truly understands.
“I hate the Wizard.”
Elphaba grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers. Together, they move to the mouth of the cave, where they can stare up at the darkening sky.
Glinda tightens her grip on Elphaba’s hand as the anthem plays. The picture appears above them, and it’s neither Fiyero nor Avaric. Instead it’s the last Quadling boy. She sighs as the anthem fades and the photo vanishes.
Eight left, thinks Glinda, but she doesn’t say it out loud. She doesn’t have to. Next to her, Elphaba is quiet and tense, undoubtedly thinking the same exact thing.
They crawl back inside and settle down for the night without saying much. Glinda takes first watch and sits peacefully beside Elphaba, listening to the green girl’s steady breathing.
It’s not until a couple hours later that she remembers the lights. She didn’t care last night, but now she’s filled with a sudden, intense desire to watch the colors dance through the sky. After a quick glance at Elphaba, she crawls forward and up to the mouth of the cave, settling down just behind the cover of branches.
The entire valley is illuminated, bathed in the brilliant shades of green and purple that float idly above. Glinda stares up at the stars and colors, captivated, and can’t help but feel small.
She’s vaguely aware of movement in the cave behind her, and then there’s a warm body leaning against her side. “Amazing, isn’t it?” Elphaba says softly.
“Do you know how it happens?”
Elphaba shakes her head. “There’s probably some sort of explanation, but to be honest I don’t really want to know.”
“No?”
“No. Maybe if it was something I could take the time to study, I’d be curious. But given the circumstances…well, I just think it’s nice to have something beautiful to wonder at.”
Glinda looks over at her. Elphaba’s skin is entrancing in the colored light. Something beautiful to wonder at, she thinks.
“It is nice,” she whispers. Elphaba notices her gaze and raises an eyebrow. Glinda flushes and looks back up.
A few minutes of quiet pass. Elphaba sighs softly, contentedly, then asks, “What are you thinking about?”
It takes Glinda a moment to answer. “The Games,” she says quietly. “How they were supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to me. In a way, I guess, they still are.”
Elphaba stares at her, but Glinda keeps her gaze up as she continues. “I know, it sounds crazy. But say I hadn’t volunteered. I would end up living the rest of my life in Frottica, never knowing, never understanding, never…” She sighs, unsure how to say what she wants. “I came here wanting glory and fame and whatever else the Emerald City would throw at me. But instead something better happened to me.” Glinda meets Elphaba’s eyes and sees the entire sky reflected in them. “You happened to me.”
She doesn’t know who moves first. She doesn’t know anything but Elphaba’s lips against hers, Elphaba’s arms wrapping around her, pulling her closer. There’s more that Glinda wants to say—three specific little words—but they’re too terrifying to even try to get out. What do they mean, anyway? They don’t have the time, the security, for words like that. They don’t have anything but this moment. So it’s this moment that Glinda focuses on.
Later, when they’ve moved back inside and the torrent of emotion that followed Glinda’s confession has subsided, Elphaba holds her close and stares out at the little sliver of illuminated sky.
“You could have won,” Elphaba says softly. “If you never met me.”
“Yeah.” Glinda closes her eyes. “But what would I be winning, really?”