Present Day
"Come in." Asami gestured for Korra to enter her apartment. It lacked many of the extensive furnishings that her mansion had sported, but Korra didn't doubt the expense she had put into decorating. For instance, the white couch wasn't fancy, but it was large and comfortably squishy, and Korra was certain it cost more than she would make in a month at the RCPD. Likewise, the paintings weren't ornate, but Korra knew Asami supported local up-and-coming artists by purchasing their work at more than asking price. Asami favored abstract pieces in various shades of red. Sometimes it freaked Korra out a little, and when she told Asami, her friend had purchased some paintings with blue hues to try to balance things out. It had actually touched Korra, though she was fairly certain Asami had meant it as a joke.
Korra walked into the apartment and slipped off her shoes. Even though Asami had hardwood floors, she was adamantly against wearing shoes in the house because her expensive patterned throw rugs would get dirty. Plus, it senselessly tracked in dirt.
Korra looked up at Asami and found that the girl was watching her. "So," Asami said curiously, "What's up?"
"Uh…" Korra hesitated, suddenly very anxious. Her heart rate sped up and her breathing became shallow. Her face grew red at the thought of having a panic attack at this moment. She remembered Jinora and she forced herself into her calm place. A few moments passed, and Asami was watching her again. Korra took a deep breath, ready to share her secret, but chickened out at the last second. "It's about your email." Oh well, she would have to build to it.
"Okay." Asami touched the giant diamond ring on her left hand, but didn't look away from Korra. Her face was an unreadable mask, though Korra could tell by her fidgeting that she was nervous.
"I—I don't think I can give you an answer because I can't be objective." Damn it! Korra thought. She had taken the easy way out again.
At that, Asami surprised Korra by laughing. Suddenly the older girl seemed much more relaxed, though not entirely because they were still standing in the entryway. Miss Manners Sato would normally have insisted Korra have a drink and something to eat before they did anything else. "Why would I want someone objective? That would be someone who doesn't know me! An objective person would say I should marry Iroh. Objectively it's a good decision. You, on the other hand, know the whole situation. I want you to be subjective. Maybe then I can figure out why it doesn't feel like a good decision."
She looked at Korra hopefully. Korra didn't know what to make of it. Did Asami want her to tell her to leave Iroh? Did she want her to reassure her that even if it didn't feel right she should do it anyway? She couldn't tell. So, Korra decided to go with the truth. Emboldened by her decision and the perfect opening, she said, "Listen Asami—"
Asami gasped in surprise. Astonished, Korra looked behind her, certain something terrifying or exciting must have come through the door. Instead, Asami was staring at her. "What?" Korra demanded.
"You just called me by my name. You never do that." Asami blinked rapidly, a sure sign she was trying to avoid crying.
Korra gaped at Asami, totally thrown off. It was true she realized, now that Asami had mentioned it. It had never occurred to her before, but it had seemed too intimate to use her name. It was like she was afraid calling her "Asami" would have shown all of her feelings, like all of the love she carried would be made visible by that one word. "I—yeah, I guess you're right." Korra admitted. Now that she'd said it, though, she had the courage to continue. She closed her eyes and said, "I don't think you should marry Iroh."
Asami's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Okay," she said slowly. "Why?"
Korra took a deep breath and met Asami's eyes. With a steady gaze and a quiet, but confident voice, she answered, "Because I want you to choose me."
Korra could hear Asami's quiet gasp from where she stood several feet away, and her heart sank when Asami took a step backward. "What?"
Korra sighed. She had nothing to lose, so she ran a hand through her chin length hair and bolstered her nerve for her confession. "Look, before tonight I didn't realize I had been completely in love with you for years. Jinora helped me to see that. I don't know if you're in love with me, but I know you're not really in love with Iroh. He's safe. He's how you can avoid getting hurt. He's your hiding place. You'll always be content with him, but you won't really be happy."
"What are you saying?" Asami took another step back and Korra could feel her chances slipping away.
Korra countered Asami's move by walking slowly forward until she was right in front of the woman she loved. She gently reached out and threaded her fingers through Asami's ignoring the way her friend tensed at the contact. "I'm saying you should choose me. Choose me because I'll make you happy."
Korra drew near and hesitated for a moment. When Asami didn't retreat, but instead closed her eyes, Korra leaned in and kissed her. It was a risky move, she knew, but she didn't care. If she was only going to get one chance to kiss the woman she loved, she was going to take it, fallout be damned. It was a soft kiss, barely something she would bother to tell her friends about if it had been with anyone else. But it was Asami. It was Asami and she was kissing her and it felt so damn good! And Asami was kissing her back! Caught up in the kiss, Korra squeezed Asami's hands. Asami must have come to her senses and jerked back. Korra was terrified she would run, but instead Asami rested her forehead against hers without letting go of Korra's hands.
"Oh my God," Asami whispered in a voice Korra could feel against her lips more than hear. She opened her eyes and moved her head back so she could stare at Korra. In the long moments filled with silence, Korra met her gaze, but started to panic. It was such a great kiss. Suddenly she understood what all of the books and movies had been talking about. It was everything her kisses with Mako had been missing. But what would Asami say? What was she thinking? Was it good? Was it bad? It had been awhile since Korra had kissed anyone. It was probably bad. Just when she reached that conclusion, Asami asked in a voice filled with wonder, "Is that how it's supposed to feel?"
Korra grinned up at the girl who would sadly always be a few inches taller. "Like you want to cry and laugh and dance and sing all at the same time?"
Asami let out a hushed laugh. "I was going to say that I never wanted it to end, but I like your description better."
Korra took that as an invitation and leaned in to kiss her again. Asami, however, placed a hand on her shoulder and held her back. "Hang on," Asami said. "I can't do this."
As high as Korra had felt just a second ago, she crashed twice as hard. Why had Asami led her on? She could have pulled away from the kiss and said it hadn't meant anything! "What?" Korra croaked.
"Listen, Korra. I might not love Iroh passionately, but I do love him. Maybe being content is enough for me."
Korra shook her head vehemently. "No it's not! It's just safe. You're scared of being happy because it hurts more if you lose it. Yeah, it's scary, but it's also living. C'mon Asami, let yourself be happy. Choose me."
Asami bit her lip and looked down at the ground, clearly thinking about it. She heaved a defeated sigh, her shoulders slumping, and said, "I can't."
Korra squeezed her fingers again. "Asami, do you love me?"
Korra watched as a lone tear slipped down Asami's cheek, but neither girl moved to wipe it away. "Yes," she murmured.
At that, Korra let go of one of Asami's hands to reach up and cup her neck, brushing her thumb comfortingly back and forth against her cheek. When Asami finally looked up at her, Korra smiled. "Be brave, Asami. Let yourself be happy. Choose me."
"What if I lose you?" Asami asked, her voice broken. "That would kill me."
"No," Korra said softly. "It would hurt like fucking hell, but you'd get through it. I can't promise things will always work perfectly between us or that you'll never lose me, but I can promise that as long as I'm living and you want me by your side, I won't ever leave." Korra could tell that Asami was wavering and she grabbed her hands again. "Asami, I love you. Let me make you happy."
Asami let her hands linger in Korra's for just a moment before she pulled away. "Korra," Asami said slowly and Korra's heart cracked. She knew it was about to shatter, that this wouldn't have the ending she hoped for. "I do love you, and I'm so glad you told me how you felt, but I can't choose you."
"What?" Korra managed to choke out.
Asami passed her hand across her forehead and even in this state of pre-heartbreak, Korra felt guilty for making her love have this conversation now when she was tired after a fifteen-hour workday. "Iroh can't hurt me and you can destroy me. God, Korra. When you were hurt, I spent months skimping on hours at work just so I could take care of you because I was the only one you would sometimes smile for. And then you left me—"
"I'm so sorry about that, Asami," Korra cut in, feeling like she could prevent this if this was the reason Asami was turning her down. But Asami held up a hand to stop her.
"No! Don't apologize. You did what you needed to do to get better. That's not what I meant. It's just that when you were gone, it was all I could do to hold myself together. I worked nonstop and built you a car. I even neglected my friends…except when I was drunk and Opal had to come pick me up. You weren't here and you were still destroying me."
Asami paused and it Korra took a few seconds to process what she had just said. "Wait, what? You were drunk? You never get drunk!"
Asami groaned in embarrassment. "Shit. I didn't mean to mention that. I—yeah. When things got were bad with you I coped by going to a bar. But I guess it illustrates my point. You can destroy me in ways Iroh can't."
"That's love, Asami," Korra said softly. "There's always the risk the person you love will hurt you, but taking that risk is the only way to really experience it. Don't you want that? Not just the taste of it you have with Iroh, but something so much more?"
Asami's face crumpled and she dissolved into tears. "I can't have that. Everyone I love leaves me. I won't take that risk with you. I'm telling you three times I can't choose you." She started to walk away, but Korra reached out and pulled her back into a tight hug, pressing her face into the taller woman's shoulder. They took comfort in one another, each trying to stave off her broken heart for just a little longer. Eventually, Asami stepped back and rubbed under her eyes to fix the worst of the mascara that had run.
"I guess I should go," Korra said, wiping away tears of her own.
"You could stay," Asami offered halfheartedly, but they both knew it wasn't sincere.
Korra shook her head. "I think it's better if I go." She was nearly out the door when Asami's voice stopped her. Her heart leapt, hoping beyond hope that Asami had changed her mind.
"Korra? Email me later?" Korra's heart broke all over again and she made her trademark noncommittal grunt. "No, Korra. Promise me."
Korra kind of couldn't believe her own audacity when she replied sadly, "I love you, but I can't. Sorry Sami." With that she left. Looking back, she wouldn't remember walking to her car or driving back to the dock. She wouldn't remember texting Jinora to come get her. But she would remember Jinora's face as she hugged her and told her how sorry she was that Asami had turned her down. She would remember refusing to talk about what had happened. And she would remember going to work the next morning; she had never been so grateful to get called in on a weekend. From then on, she threw herself into her job.
…
Life on the other side of Korra's confession was difficult. Everything reminded her of Asami. When certain songs came on the radio, she would remember singing along to them with Asami. When she passed certain restaurants, she would remember grabbing dinner there with Asami. Hell, every time she drove her car, the car Asami had built for her, she was reminded of Asami. But, by far the worst was spending time on her laptop. She made herself listen to the songs, eat at the restaurants, and drive her car, but she couldn't make herself check her old email address.
A few weeks after the rejection Korra was lying on her bed in the dark and staring listlessly at her ceiling. She'd just worked twenty hours straight, half of which was spent talking to a suicidal young man whose wife and child had just died, and the rest doing the paperwork. Despite her complete exhaustion, she still couldn't sleep when she knew her dreams would be filled with Asami.
Korra heard a knock on her door and tilted her head to see who it was. When Pema sat down beside her, she closed her eyes, hoping the woman would leave her alone if she thought she was asleep. With four children, Pema wasn't so easily fooled. "Can we talk?" her once foster mother asked.
"Can we talk later? I'm sleeping."
Pema stroked Korra's hair and said, "Let's try that again. We're going to have a talk."
"Fine," Korra groaned, but sat up and turned on her bedside lamp. "How'd you know I was awake?"
Pema gave her a sad look. "Honey, you haven't slept more than a couple of hours per night in weeks. You need to talk about this."
"What's there to say?" Korra snapped. "I love Asami, she loves me, but she chose Iroh. I've accepted there's nothing I can do. I'm taking time to mourn that loss. It's a healthy and normal part of healing."
Pema let out a huff of laughter and when Korra's glowered, she covered her mouth. "I'm sorry. You just switched tone all of a sudden and I wasn't expecting it."
"Yeah, well, I spent two years in a group home where they talked like that all the time. I guess some of it was bound to stick."
Pema sobered. "I'd almost forgotten. You've come so far since then." She squeezed Korra's shoulder. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Asami has stopped by a few times to see you. She said you haven't been responding to her emails or texts and she's worried because it's not like you."
Korra held up her phone that had a giant crack down the back of it. "I sort of broke my phone. Since I could send texts and people were responding, I thought it was working. I guess I'm not getting all of my texts. I'll get a new one tomorrow."
"And I suppose your computer suffered a similar fate?" Pema asked drily.
"No," Korra admitted. "I haven't checked my email. I can't face her yet. I just…can't."
Pema nodded. "I understand. I just wanted to let you know." She got up and made to leave, but turned back when she reached the door. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "You said you're taking time to mourn, but what I think you're actually doing is avoiding. Until you talk about it and truly acknowledge it, you won't heal."
Korra knew she would be thinking about that for awhile.
…
Two months after the rejection Korra was doing better. She was still working all of the time and hadn't yet talked to Asami, but at least she was sleeping and talking to people again.
"Hey!" Jinora called when Korra walked in after work, on time for once. "Can you take me driving? I have thirty more hours to go before I can take my license test and mom's making dinner and dad hates driving with me."
"Jinoraaa," Korra whined. "I just got home and I'm hungry."
Jinora grinned and held up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "I figured you would be! Come on, please? All you have to do is sit there."
"Fine." Korra huffed and threw her car keys to her little sister. "Give me two minutes to put my stuff down and pee."
"Awesome! You're the best big sister ever!" Jinora rushed outside before anyone in her family could see her. Her parents would give her a lecture and her little siblings would insist on coming.
"Yeah, yeah." Two minutes and forty-five seconds later, Korra was sitting in the passenger's seat of her car, devouring the PB&J Jinora had made for her. It was pretty good, too. She actually didn't mind driving with Jinora. Her little sister was a cautious driver, so Korra didn't have to worry too much. Plus, Jinora was always so focused that she didn't really talk. That theory was shattered when "All My Life" by Billy Joel came on. Her iPhone was hooked up to her sound system, playing through an old playlist from high school. Korra sighed sadly and closed her eyes to listen.
"What's up?" Jinora asked. Damn. They were on the ferry, so she felt comfortable talking.
"Billy Joel has always been Asami's favorite." It wasn't the first time she'd listened to the artist since Asami had rejected her, but it made her sad every time.
Jinora eyed her oddly. "Well, change it if it's bumming you out."
"Nah." Korra took a deep breath and finally admitted something she'd been thinking but hadn't yet said aloud. "It makes me feel connected to her and I can't lose it."
"Yeah?" Jinora pulled carefully off the ferry, so she didn't say anything more. To Korra that was preferable because it meant she could talk without interruption.
"Yeah. I don't believe in alternate universes, but it feels like if they did exist, this would be the only one where I don't get to be with her. It's stupid, but I feel like I need to stay connected to her because I'm supposed to be with her."
When Jinora didn't respond right away, Korra glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. She would have snapped at her and told her she should be good enough at driving by now to have conversation, but Jinora looked thoughtful rather than focused. So, Korra sat back, closed her eyes, and waited.
"Then you need to talk to her," Jinora said eventually.
"Oh yeah," Korra scoffed. "Because that worked so well when I listened to you last time." She closed her eyes to push back the memories of the last time she was at Asami's apartment. When she opened them, they were parked on the side of the street. "Did you just parallel park?" Korra asked, mildly impressed.
Jinora brushed aside the implied compliment. "Korra, you had to tell her. You're better off now. It's like I told you before: now you can move on. You can be angry at me for it and never listen to me again, but I stand by what I said."
Korra felt tears burn behind her eyes. "I didn't know it would hurt so much."
"It's going to keep hurting unless you start to move on, and you can't move on unless you talk to her."
Korra sighed and pulled out her phone to send a quick text to Asami. She'd gotten a new phone, but she still hadn't responded to any of the three texts Asami had sent her. "I asked her if she wanted to get dinner tonight. Happy?"
"Delighted." Jinora said with the kind of eye roll only teenagers are capable of, and she pulled back onto the street. Just a minute later, Korra's phone buzzed. "So what's the deal? Am I dropping you off at Future Industries?"
"Yes," Korra muttered. It was infuriating how Jinora was always right. Then reason caught up to her. "Wait! I can't let you drive alone!"
Jinora burst into laughter. "Damn. I almost had you! Well, we can pick her up and then you can drop her off whenever you're done."
"Or you could join us?" Korra suggested hopefully. Dinner would probably suck a lot less if Jinora were there.
"Oh yeah. Sounds like a blast. I just need to go home and lock myself in my room so I can skip out on that."
"Shut up."
They picked up Asami at work and made their way back to Air Temple Island. It wasn't too uncomfortable because Asami and Jinora caught up, so Korra didn't have to talk. Once they reached the dock, Jinora hopped on the ferry and Korra made to take over the wheel, but Asami beat her to it. "I've got to check up on your car. It's been awhile."
Korra couldn't help but grin. She knew Asami was making an excuse to drive because she was nervous and handling cars soothed her. It had been two months since she'd seen her, but God, she still loved this girl. Seeing her again was like being smacked in the face with beauty with an aftershock of memories. It was so good to see her, but it hurt so much.
"How have you been?" Asami asked, staring straight ahead.
Korra took a deep breath. She could do this. "I've been okay. Working a lot. That's pretty much all I do, actually."
"I miss you." Asami's voice was no more than a whisper.
"I know," Korra sighed. "I miss you too."
"We spent so many years talking every day and now we don't talk at all. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't want that."
Korra let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, you made that abundantly clear." Their last conversation was all too fresh in her mind. She decided to speak her mind and hope it helped. "Look. I just can't do it anymore. I'm in love with you and it hurts too much to try to go back what we were when we're not that anymore. You don't want to lose me, but the problem is that I've already lost you. I'm still in love with you; maybe I'll always be in love with you. I don't know. I just know it hurts to pretend like I'm not. Talking to you right now is killing me because I want to kiss you so badly. I need some time before I can talk to you all the time again."
This time it was Asami who pulled over to the side of the road. "Well fuck," she said, fighting through tears. She rested her head on Korra's steering wheel and it was all Korra could do to not rub her back.
"I'm sorry," Kora murmured. And she was. She almost caved and promised to email Asami every day, but she remembered Jinora telling her she needed to move on. She couldn't do that if she was talking to Asami all of the time.
It only took a few minutes for Asami to pull herself together. When she did, she sat up and looked sadly at Korra. "It's okay. It's not your fault. It's just—do you think we'll be able to be friends someday?"
This time, Korra could genuinely grin at her. "Count on it."
Asami smiled tentatively back, but it quickly faded. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"I know this is probably the worst thing I can ask of you, but would you consider reading something at the wedding? I'd ask you to be a bridesmaid, but Iroh has a ton of sisters, and since this is a high profile wedding, it would look bad to bump on of them. Plus, well, I figured that would make it harder."
"Why?" Korra gasped out, struck with a stabbing pain and a sudden realization that she would need to tell Jinora later.
"Well, you said you're still in love with me."
Korra shook her head sharply. "No. I mean, why are you asking me to read something?"
"Oh. Because you're a big part of my life and I want all of the people I love to be a part of the biggest day of my life."
Korra managed a nod and a tight smile, which was enough to get Asami to start driving again. Once she got over the shock, she was actually able to enjoy dinner. Despite the pain, she really did miss her friendship with Asami.
Later that night, Korra popped into Jinora's room. "Asami's not perfect," she said with wonder. "Did you know that? Asami has faults."
Jinora looked up from her book in confusion. "Sorry."
"Asami asked me to read something at her wedding!"
"And you're happy about that because…?"
Korra was almost jumping for joy. "Because that was such a selfish thing to do. I mean, of course I agreed, but I can see now that she can be selfish. Like, not always because she really does care about people, but sometimes she's selfish. Plus sometimes she's kind of stuck up. And she is always so dorky!"
"I'm happy for you, but I still don't understand."
"I used to think she was perfect, but now I see she's not. I'm still in love with her, but I can see her more clearly now."
Now Jinora grinned. "You're moving on."
…
Korra had relapses, of course. Wedding related activities were especially painful. Opal roped her into attending Asami's bridal shower where she was forced to play games. They played an Asami trivia game with thirty questions; unsurprisingly, Korra won by a margin of fifteen points. A young woman she didn't know asked her how she knew so much about Asami.
Korra froze.
She turned her gaze to meet Asami's and thought: Because I'm the one who should be with her. Korra knew Asami caught the gist of her thoughts when the woman she loved closed her eyes in an expression of pain. Korra looked back at the young woman and said, "We've been friends for a long time."
It was the truth, if a very limited version of it.
…
The wedding itself was infinitely worse. In the days leading up to it, Korra coped by working more hours than usual. Maybe it was unhealthy, but no more so than sitting around and moping. At least this way she would be helping people.
On the morning of the wedding, Korra donned the tux Asami had bought for her what felt like a hundred years ago. She stood in front of the mirror for half an hour trying to figure out how to tie the bowtie. When Pema came in to see if she was ready, Korra was nearly in tears. "I can't do it," Korra exclaimed, throwing her bowtie across the room.
Pema silently picked up the tie and stood in front of her to tie it. When she was finished, she took Korra's face in her hands and kissed her on the forehead. Korra's eyes began to burn and she said, "I don't want to go. I can't do this."
"I know." Pema hugged her and rocked her for a few minutes.
Eventually Korra nodded. "Okay." She let out the breath she had been holding. "Okay. I can do this."
"I know."
Korra hadn't slept the night before. That combined with the emotional toll of having to participate in Asami's wedding meant that she didn't really remember the details later. She knew she read something about love without stumbling. She vaguely recalled sitting with Tenzin and his family, and Jinora holding her hand. But what she remembered most vividly was hugging Asami before Iroh whisked her off for their honeymoon.
"Be well," Korra whispered into her ear.
"You too," Asami replied.
Thankfully Tenzin was driving so the tears blurring Korra's vision didn't endanger her or anyone else. When they got back to Air Temple Island, Korra said something about not feeling well and went to bed early. She didn't get up for three days. She lay in her bed and read through all of her old emails with Asami, as well as the several Asami had sent her after she rejected her.
When she finished the emails, she opened up a blank Word document and wrote, something she ordinarily wouldn't do:
Please let me ask you a question.
Do you think of me
When you hear the ding alerting you to a new email,
Something that used to belong just to us?
Because I think of you.
Maybe just a couple more.
Do you think of me
When you see an episode of Parks and Rec,
The show we watched together?
Because I think of you.
Do you think of me
When you drive for hours late at night
And a Billy Joel song comes on?
Because I think of you.
Do you think of me
Whenever you complain about how tired you are,
The constant state we used to live in?
Because I think of you.
I'm almost done, I promise.
Do you think of me
At sporadic moments throughout your day,
And miss me and wonder how I'm doing?
Because I think of you.
Do you think of me
When you've had a rotten day
Because I was the one you used to tell all about it?
Because I think of you.
Just let me ask one more.
Did you think of me
On your wedding day and feel even a twinge of regret,
Knowing you were losing me forever?
Because I thought of you.
Jinora came in to check on her just as Korra was contemplating whether or not she should send it to Asami. "What'cha working on?" she asked cheerfully as she hopped on the bed beside Korra and skimmed through the document. "Oh, Korra," she breathed. "Don't do this."
"Do what?"
"You know what. You know you're thinking of sending that. I'm telling you it won't do anything but harm. I know it hurts, but it's over. Asami's married. You need to finally accept it."
Korra took a deep breath and nodded. "I know." She closed out of the document without saving it to remove any temptation she might face in the future. She could theoretically write it again, but she knew she wouldn't. Jinora was right. It was time for her to move on once and for all, which meant that tomorrow she needed to get out of bed.
"That's my girl!" Jinora poked Korra in the side and shot her a toothy grin. Korra was feeling a little less than generous at this point, so she shoved her little sister off the bed.
…
Like when Asami rejected her and in the weeks preceding the wedding, Korra spent a lot of time at work. This time she worked at least fifteen hours per day/seven days per week (unless Chief Beifong sent her home because she was too tired to function) for a solid six months. She could see the increasing worry on Tenzin's face on the rare occasion they were both home at the same time. Her increasing levels of exhaustion made her feel like maybe he was right to worry; however, it was helping her to not think about Asami.
On on afternoon, when she was feeling particularly exhausted, she went to grab a sandwich at a nearby deli. It had been too long since she had last eaten, so she was grouchy from hunger as well as tired. That's when it happened.
"Korra!"
Korra spun around to see who was calling her; she didn't recognize the voice, but that didn't mean anything. However, the smiling girl of Earth Kingdom heritage chasing after her didn't look familiar either. "Um, hi?"
"I'm Jin," the girl said, panting a bit as she came to a halt in front of Korra. She was tiny, barely reaching Korra's shoulders, with chin-length dark brown hair and green eyes.
"Well, you already know my name…" Korra looked harder at the girl. She looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place her. "How do you know me?"
"Everyone knows you! After the whole Kuvira incident, you became a sort of celebrity, so the tabloids started keeping tabs on you, especially once you started working for RCPD. They keep a running tally of the people you've saved. You're at 126, pretty impressive for only a year."
If Korra had been better rested, she might have responded gracefully. Instead, because she was wiped out, she said, "Five."
"Huh?"
"There were five I couldn't save. That's the only tally I've kept."
Jin's excitement faded away and she looked like she wanted to melt into the sidewalk, not totally implausible in the stifling summer heatwave, which admittedly, was not helping Korra's attitude. "Yeah," she murmured. "But I was there for one you did save. Some teenager was going to jump off a bridge after her parents kicked her out. I called the police and was trying to talk her down when you got there."
Now Korra looked closer at the girl and found that she maybe she recognized her now that she had some sort of context to work with. "A girl named Su? Maybe three months ago?"
"Yep. That was me. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I don't know how you do it on a daily basis."
Korra offered Jin a genuine smile. "I remember that case. I was really impressed that you climbed on the bridge to talk to her. Most people just call the police and maybe shout from a distance if they're feeling particularly helpful. You climbed right up and sat next to her. You probably saved her life."
"Did you get the cake I sent over?"
"That was you?!" A mystery cake had been delivered a few days after that incident, and it had been the subject of great debate around the office ever since. At least one person mentioned it on a daily basis both because they didn't know where it came from and because it was the most delicious cake any of them had ever eaten.
Jin grinned up at Korra, and now that Korra was paying more attention, she noticed one of Jin's front teeth protruded a bit, just enough to make her smile unique. "Yep. I take it you got it."
"We definitely got it! It was so good! The outside of it had that great chocolate stuff that's now my favorite food even though I don't know what it's called." Korra could feel her bad mood lifting. For the first time in months she felt like she was actually present in the moment and not hiding in her head.
"Ganache? I'm so glad you liked it!" Jin shifted uncomfortably, opting to look at the ground instead of at Korra. "Listen, if you stop by my bakery around seven tonight I can show you how to make it."
Korra froze. That sounded like… "Do you mean like a date?" She asked aloud, the epitome of cool. It took all of her self-control to not smack herself in the face for being such a dork.
"I—uh…yeah?" Jin looked at her hopefully.
Korra didn't know what to do. On the the one hand, she definitely wanted to spend time with Jin, but on another, she didn't know how she felt about dating post-Asami. Asami had been the only person she'd ever loved and it felt like a betrayal to date someone else. But Asami was married and content, if not especially happy. So where did that leave Korra? She finally decided to say, "I'm not sure about it being a date, but I'd like to get to know you better if that's okay."
"Yeah! That's more than okay!" Jin whipped out her phone. "Here, give me your number and I'll text you the details."
Later that night, Korra entered a cute bakery with a "Closed" sign on the door. There was no one in sight, but a small bell tinkled to signal her arrival. Before long, Jin appeared from a back room and made her way around the display cases to greet Korra with a hug. It was nothing like hugging Asami, quite apart from the fact that Jin was half her height. Asami always hugged with desperation, like the world might end at any moment and she might never get to hug you again. Jin's hug, on the other hand, felt like she couldn't contain her excitement and affection and a hug just bubbled out of her. Korra kind of liked it.
Jin took Korra into the kitchen and pulled out a double boiler. It turned out that ganache was pretty easy to make. It was just heating heavy cream and adding chocolate, though Jin explained that the quality of ingredients greatly impacted the taste. When it was finished, Jin handed Korra a spoon and a plain chocolate cupcake she had made earlier that day. It was even better than Korra remembered because she was a bit heavier handed than Jin had been with icing the cupcakes.
As they worked, they talked. Jin mentioned the last girl she had dated; apparently it had been fun, but they differed on what they wanted. The girlfriend just wanted to have fun and Jin wanted serious. In turn, Korra told Jin about Asami. Jin was sympathetic and didn't seem uncomfortable with Korra mentioning Asami, which was good because Asami was so much a part of Korra that she would never be able to fully extricate herself from her grasp.
As they were leaving the bakery for the evening, ready to part company, Jin placed a hand on Korra's arm and took a deep breath. "Listen. I really like you and I'd like to date you. If you're not ready now, that's okay. I just need to know you will be eventually."
Korra hesitated. She liked hanging with Jin, but she didn't know about dating her yet. She took the cowards way out. "Can I think about it and let you know?"
"Of course."
When Korra got home, she dragged Jinora into her room and told her what happened. Jinora, as usual, was a fount of wisdom. "Well, do you like her?"
Korra shrugged. "I don't know. She's cute and funny and fun to be around. I guess I like her, but it's different from how I felt about Asami."
Jinora rolled her eyes. "Well yeah. Jin and Asami are two different people. Of course you'll feel differently about them."
"So you think I should tell Jin I want to date her?"
"I think you should tell her you want to go on a couple of dates with her and see where it goes. I'm not sure if that's dating her in the way you mean." Jinora was looking at Korra like she was completely helpless. To be fair, Korra was.
"Fine. Thanks!" Korra texted Jin and they set up a date for the next night. For the first time in a long time, Korra was excited.
…
Going on dates with Jin turned into dating Jin. Before long, they were celebrating their six-month anniversary and Korra found that she was very much in love. Dating Jin wasn't anything like how she imagined dating Asami, but it was wonderful. Asami had demons that Jin didn't. Korra had loved Asami for them and it was something they had shared, but she found Jin's carefreeness refreshing. Korra's years with Asami had been fraught with pain, mostly through no fault of their own, and she knew they would never have fully been able to shake that history had they dated. Jin and Korra both had faced challenges, but they no longer defined them.
It was after her six-month anniversary with Jin that Korra worked up the nerve to tell Asami she was dating someone. Asami, to her credit, claimed to be happy for her. Maybe she was. Korra found that she couldn't read her as well as she used to be able to. After seven long years of having eyes only for Asami, Korra was finally content with just calling her her friend. Loving Jin was an unexpected bonus. Indeed, though it was not the ending Korra had longed for, she found she had gotten her happy ending after all.