Commitment
Caitlyn spun a pen in her hands as she shuffled through case files. Her mind was a whirl.
In her head, she replayed the moment she and Vi had kissed. The way they had hung in that one perfect moment was something she couldn’t bear to let go, now that it was over.
For a brief moment, she felt the scorn of the Piltovan folk in her ears, their disapproving eyes on her back. As much as she’d tried to play it off, their remarks were something she dwelled on daily. She had convinced herself — and Vi — that she didn’t care about their comment anymore, but in truth, she felt the doubt starting to creep in.
But she and Vi had shared a kiss, and there was no denying that Caitlyn was madly in love with her. Caitlyn was committed now, to their romance, no matter how looked down upon by society. She couldn’t afford to care about the other Houses and the whispers behind her back.
Still…
She put down the case file and sighed. She was sitting in her office, the very one where she’d first met Vi. She could almost see Vi standing in front of her, hand stuck out, a cheeky grin on her lips.
Wow…how long had it been since they met?
She glanced at the clock. Twenty more minutes till she could knock off. Vi had promised to meet her after work and bring her someplace nice for dinner.
There was a knock on her door.
“Commander.” Caitlyn nodded at Marcus and stood.
Marcus handed her a brown envelope. “Biopsy for that undercity gang fight just came in. Might wanna take a look at it.”
Caitlyn scowled. “Yes, sir,” she answered grudgingly as she took the file.
“By the way,” Marcus said as he was leaving, “that girl who came to see you the other day…who was she?”
Caitlyn bit her lip and tried not to feel spiteful. Vi had been coming down to the station more often now that they were a true couple, and Caitlyn’s colleagues had noticed. Vi’s tattoos and history with small gang fights and public nuisances were a part of the station’s records and certainly didn’t help her case. Sure, she was no Maddie — the orange-haired girl had several counts of vehicle theft and robberies on her name — but a clean slate would have allowed Caitlyn a much shinier image, too.
Somehow, Caitlyn found the courage to say, “My girlfriend. Why?”
Marcus’s brow furrowed. “Nothing, just…”
His words seemed to weigh on his tongue before he spoke. “I thought you might have learned your lesson with Nolen. Seems I was wrong. Either that or…you really see something in that Zaunite.”
He said the word like it was a crime, and Caitlyn resisted the urge to smack him over the head with the butt of her rifle. She needed her job after all, and she simply bit her tongue.
“Then again,” Marcus said, “you seemed to see something special in all of them.”
Caitlyn’s ears rang with Maddie’s words. Enjoy it while it’s still sweet, Kiramman. It won’t last for long.
~~~
Caitlyn pursed her lips as she recalled Marcus’s words. He hadn’t even bothered to hide his distaste, and the same could certainly be said for the rest of Caitlyn’s colleagues. She laughed off the comments they made, but secretly, each one added fuel to the fire in her heart, burning with hatred and spite.
So what if I’m dating a Zaunite? You guys have dated some interesting people too.
She wished she’d had the courage to point out Marcus’s recent divorce with his wife, whom he had found to be sneaking into the undercity regularly and taking uncontrolled doses of Shimmer.
“What’s going on?”
Vi’s voice pulled Caitlyn back into reality. She looked up.
They were standing on the bridge that connected the undercity and Piltover, watching the moon rise over the gold-and-white roofs of topside. Caitlyn glanced down and saw her grip tighten on the railing.
Caitlyn bit the inside of her cheek. “Nothing.”
“Hmm.” Vi leaned forward, leaning against the railing, too. “Don’t lie to me, cupcake. What happened? Something going on at work? A creepy coworker trying to make a pass at you?”
Caitlyn tried for a laugh, but even to her it sounded brittle. “Oh, please. Who would dare?”
Vi smiled. She reached across and took Caitlyn’s hand. “What’s going on?” she asked again. “You’ve been so…wound up lately.”
Caitlyn squeezed Vi’s hand before pulling away. “I’m fine, Vi. I promise.” How could she tell Vi the truth when that had been the thing that drove them apart before? At that time, it was no more than a friendship, a business arrangement. Now, their relationship was so much more. Caitlyn wasn’t sure she could bear to lose Vi now, when they’d come so far.
She felt Vi’s gaze on her and stole a glance. Vi reminded Caitlyn of a little puppy sometimes — those soft eyes, pleading with her and melting her heart, exactly what now stared back at Caitlyn.
Caitlyn allowed herself a smile and cupped Vi’s face in hers. “Come on,” she said as she walked past Vi and toward Piltover. “Let’s go back.”
~~~
Caitlyn sat on the sofa, scanning the biopsy report Marcus had handed her the day before.
Her thoughts were still on Vi — a topic that constantly loomed in the back of her mind, like a shadow she couldn’t ignore. She was trying to convince herself she really, truly didn’t care about what the people said, but the gaslighting had gotten to the point Caitlyn herself wasn’t sure what was true and what was not.
She scoffed to herself. Lying to yourself is a new low.
Familiar footsteps echoed through the halls, and Caitlyn looked up. Her mother was descending down the stairs like a model.
Caitlyn bit her lip. She hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to her mother properly since the night she and Vi had kissed. No doubt Cassandra had seen everything — Maddie riling Caitlyn up, the way Vi had defended Caitlyn. Perhaps that incident would have changed her mother’s perspective on Vi, which would make things a lot easier on Caitlyn, too.
Still, Caitlyn refused to get her hopes up. She gave her mother a slight nod. “Mother.”
Cassandra sat from across her daughter. “Your friend Vi…”
Here we go, Caitlyn thought. She braced herself for the worst.
“I saw how she stepped in between you and Maddie that night at the gala.”
Caitlyn had nearly forgotten about one tiny little detail — her mother had specifically invited Maddie to the event, intending to dig at Caitlyn and annoy her.
“You invited Maddie that night,” Caitlyn said, her voice steely.
“Well, I was the one who barred her initially. Of course the only person who would let her in was me.”
“Why?” Caitlyn demanded. “I have Vi now. Why did you bring Maddie into the picture?”
Cassandra leaned back. “I had to know what Vi would’ve done in that situation. I can’t let you run off with some girl who abandons you when things go south.”
Caitlyn bit her tongue. “Vi isn’t like that. When something goes wrong, she stands by me. She doesn’t throw me under the bus like Maddie would have. And you could have picked anyone else. Why would you choose my ex to do this, of all people?”
Cassandra looked surprised. “Well, it seems your affection for the stray has grown considerably.”
“Stray?” Caitlyn was disgusted. “Vi’s isn’t a stray! She’s not an animal or a monster. Being from Zaun doesn’t make her any less human than us!”
“Enough, Caitlyn!” Cassandra’s eyes flared with anger. “She’s still Zaunite! People are already whispering and gossiping, and it’s only bound to grow worse. If you’re going to make a decision, make it now. Commit to this relationship. If things between you two don’t end well, it’ll reflect on us even worse than it did with Maddie!”
Caitlyn held her tongue. She knew there was no point in arguing with her mother at this point, and all she could do was sit in silence and wait for Cassandra to finish.
To her surprise, however, her mother’s didn’t continue shouting. If anything, Cassandra seemed to taste the words on the tip of her tongue, as though calculating the weight it would put on Caitlyn.
“Vi has…pleasantly surprised me,” she admitted. “She’s nothing like Maddie, and I concede that. She handled things diplomatically and respectfully after you told her about our…ah, discussion, the other day.”
Caitlyn’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”
Cassandra’s eyebrows arched in surprise. “She didn’t tell you?”
She exhaled. “Vi came to see me. In private. She told me that you told her about our argument. She…made quite an impression. Very well spoken and respectful. She promised me she would treat you well and never hurt you, always support you and have your back even if the whole world turned against you.”
Caitlyn could barely conceal her anger. She had specifically told Vi not to speak to Cassandra about what Caitlyn had said, to keep their relationship civil. Vi had violated that without even telling Caitlyn. “When was this?”
Cassandra shrugged. “Two days after the gala, maybe? She came to my office to find me. I have to admit, it changed my perspective on her. But it doesn’t mean I support the relationship.”
With that, Cassandra traipsed up the stairs, leaving Caitlyn’s anger simmering in her heart.
~~~
Vi and Caitlyn walked together along the street, dimly lit by the streetlamps. Night had fallen several hours ago, so the road was now quiet and deserted except for the pitter-patter of the rain as it hit the pavement.
It had been drizzling a little that afternoon, but over the course of their dinner the rain had only gotten heavier. Vi glanced up at the sky as the rain picked up pace, but they remained dry in the shelter of the umbrella.
Caitlyn walked awkwardly by her side. Her house was just around the corner. Vi couldn’t help feeling like something was a little…off. Caitlyn was unusually quiet tonight, as she had been for a few days now.
“Hey, cupcake,” Vi said, trying to inject a faint layer of humour into her tone. “You okay? You’ve been…real quiet, lately. It’s not like you.”
Caitlyn forced a smile, but Vi saw something else flickering beneath. “I’m fine,” Caitlyn answered. “Just…tired.”
“Tired?” Vi asked doubtfully. She saw Caitlyn’s grip tighten on the handle of the umbrella.
“Come on, Cait,” Vi said. She stopped walking, and Caitlyn, too, halted a few steps ahead of her, leaving Vi’s back open to the rain.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?”
Caitlyn bit her lip in frustration. “You really wanna talk now?”
“Yeah,” Vi said. “Of course.”
“Fine,” Caitlyn answered, her tone sharp and almost spiteful. “Let’s talk about how you went behind my back and spoke to my mother about the one thing I told you to leave alone.”
The words hit Vi like a punch to the gut. She knows.
“Cait…” Vi started, but Caitlyn didn’t let her finish.
“I told you specifically not to do this. Not to talk to her about what I told you. To keep your relationship neutral. It was the one thing I asked of you. I never asked you for anything else, Vi. Why couldn’t you just have listened this one time?”
“Cait, I can explain,” Vi said, but her heart was already turning to lead.
“You had no right to talk to my mother about this. And behind my back, too. Do you know how hard it is to have to make you look good in front of her? I want to commit to this, to make this work, but it looks like you’re not even trying to do the same thing!”
“Cait, don’t say that. I want this to work as much as you do. I want us to work.”
“Enough, Vi!” Caitlyn whipped around, and Vi saw the fire in her eyes, glaring at Vi like a pair of laser beams. “I’m…I just…I want to believe that we’ll always be together. You’ll always be by my side. I just…I don’t know if I can believe that anymore.”
Realisaiton dawned on Vi, and she took a step back, ignoring the rain now soaking through her hair. “Cait…don’t say that. Please don’t say that. I was trying…I thought what I was doing was right, Cait. Your mother doesn’t get to decide what’s a good relationship for you. I thought…” Her voice broke in desperation. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
Caitlyn looked away, trying to mask her own pain, but the crack in her voice betrayed her. “It’s not just that, Vi. People are whispering. I need to know that this will work. If we get any deeper into this, they will notice every little thing. I can't afford to take that risk. Not with what we are.”
“No.” Vi reached for Caitlyn’s hand, but the latter pulled away. “Cait, please. Don’t leave me. I…”
Her voice faltered. Vi felt tears pooling in her eyes and running down her face, blending in seamlessly with the rain streaking down her cheeks.
“Don’t go.” Vi’s voice cracked with emotion. She stumbled toward Caitlyn, arm outstretched, as though the distance between them were suffocating her. “You told me…you said you didn’t care what the people think. You told me you were fine with it! Why would you lie to me and give me false hope like that? I believed that you meant that. Why did you lie to me?”
“I was lying to myself, too!” Caitlyn screamed, her anger moulding her voice into something as sharp and hard as an obsidian knife. “But I’m done with that. I don’t need or want to hear whatever sideways remarks they have to say about us. This…it’s not going to work out, Vi. I wish it would. But it won’t.”
Vi’s jaw tightened. “You have to believe it will, Cait! Please. Just…give me one more chance. I won’t let you down again. I promise.”
“You don’t belong in my world, Vi.” Caitlyn’s gaze was cold, but Vi saw the tears shimmering in her blue eyes. Caitlyn hesitated on her next words, as though considering if it was worth it to spit out.
“We…don’t belong together.”
She turned her back to Vi. Behind her, Vi felt as though she’d been punched in the throat as she struggled to breathe. She fell to her knees on the wet pavement, letting the rain soak into her clothes and hair. The rain pounded around her, drowning out the sound of everything except Caitlyn’s retreating footsteps, and she howled in pain.
“Caitlyn!”
But Caitlyn was already running toward the Kiramman mansion, her figure disappearing into the shadows.