Dispensable and Expendable
Vi’s words bounced around in Caitlyn’s head for weeks, long after their meeting at the cafe. Vi wanted their relationship to be more than a business arrangement — that much was obvious. But Caitlyn wasn’t sure she wanted to take it a step further.
While Caitlyn enjoyed Vi’s company as well, she had societal expectations to balance out. Her parents had turned their noses up at Vi when they’d first met her, but Vi’s charismatic affectations had won them over. The rest of Piltover, however, was not so easy to charm.
Caitlyn understood why. Up here on the topside, people from the undercity were often frowned upon. Vi was Zaunite. The city had a short memory, and Caitlyn rarely met Vi outside of the galas, so their relationship status as a ‘couple’ was often forgotten by the city until another gala resurfaced. It hadn’t gotten so far or deep that people started whispering.
But Caitlyn knew — if her meetings with Vi became more frequent, it wouldn’t be long before people started gossiping. If they were friends it wasn’t too serious, but to society, they were a couple. More ‘dates’ would mean more gossip. A deeper relationship. For now, all Caitlyn wanted was to keep it on the surface.
People would murmur, she knew. About Caitlyn Kiramman, heir to the House of Kiramman, dating a lowlife Zaunite that no one cared about. As much as she wanted Vi and her to get closer, she didn’t want any more whispers behind her back or any more eyes on her than she had now.
~~~
Caitlyn hovered in a corner near a pillar, eyeing Vi cautiously.
Vi was mingling with a few Hextech investors at a nearby table while Caitlyn got another glass of champagne. On the surface, the investors were all smiles and laughter, but Caitlyn had seen what happened when Vi turned her back. Their expressions soured, their grins faded, and all they saw was a girl from the undercity they could easily stomp on.
Caitlyn shook her head subtly.
The gazes that lingered on Vi’s back seemed harsher than before. Disapproving, judgemental, and a fraction of it seemed to bounce onto Caitlyn. She felt each flick of the eyes, each glance, each whisper about her and Vi, and she knew it would only get worse from here.
Again, Caitlyn wondered if bringing Vi into this world was a mistake — not because of Vi, but rather because Caitlyn herself couldn’t handle what came with it.
The night of the ball ended, and as always, Caitlyn saw Vi off. She turned away and retreated into the ballroom faster than usual, and Vi must have noticed, because she called Caitlyn back in a sharp tone she’d never used before.
“What’s going on, Cait?” Vi asked. “You’ve been so quiet tonight.”
Caitlyn sighed and lowered her gaze to the polished marble floor. She bit her lip and tentatively answered, “I think we should stop this.”
Vi folded her arms across her chest. “What do you mean, ‘this’?”
“You know, this whole…facade we’ve been keeping up. The events. Us. Everything.” The words were slipping off her tongue. “It’s just…it’s not working anymore. People are whispering and gossiping and I just can’t —”
She stopped herself, refusing to finish her sentence.
Vi’s expression darkened. “Can’t what? Be seen with…someone like me?”
“That’s not what I meant, Vi,” Caitlyn protested quickly, but Vi wasn’t really listening anymore.
“Then what did you mean?” Vi snapped. “Because from where I’m standing, it’s almost as though you’re embarrassed to be seen with me! Almost like you’re saying, ‘In what mad world would I trust someone like you?’ You’re so scared about what others would say that you’re willing to throw me under the bus!”
“Vi, I didn’t —”
“Save it,” Vi answered coldly. She slipped her arms through her jacket sleeve and tucked her hands into her pockets, her back turned to Caitlyn. “I keep telling myself that you’re different, but you’re not. I really thought you cared about me, Cait. But no. You’re like all the other Pilties. At the end of the day, I’m just some lowly Zaunite to you. Dispensable. Expendable. I’m just a part of your life you’re not gonna remember in two days’ time.”
With that, her shadow retreated into the night.
~~~
The argument left Caitlyn rattled, though she wasn’t quite sure why.
It haunted her, day and night. She remembered every detail about it — each word that slipped off her tongue, the hurt in Vi’s voice, the way she stalked down the stairs and into the darkness of the night without even looking back.
It had been a little over two weeks since their argument, and at the previous event — a small one, yet their relationship was the talk of the town — Caitlyn had brushed off Vi’s absence. “Work commitments,” she told some. “Personal matters,” she murmured to others.
She knew, deep down, that yes, part of her was ashamed to be with Vi. But she hated feeling that way. She understood Vi wasn’t an animal; she was human, just like the rest of them, and she deserved respect and validation instead of being discriminated against just because of where she was born. The guilt was constantly eating at her, and yet, sheer stubbornness kept Caitlyn from reaching out to Vi.
The poisonous concoction of regret, guilt, hate, gossip and stubbornness festered for days, until the truth finally hit her. It was late evening as she stood in the shower, steam clinging to the walls. Her hands were pressed on the tiles on the wall, the near-scalding water of the shower running down her bare back.
She replayed the argument in her head.
Dispensable. Expendable.
The realisation dawned upon her as she turned the knob of the showerhead to switch off the water. Something about Vi was so different that it had left a mark on Caitlyn despite them just being business acquaintances. She was so different from everyone else. When Vi looked at Caitlyn, it felt as though she was seeing Caitlyn — not the heir to the House of Kiramman, not the perfect little lady she was expected to be.
Vi saw none of that. All she saw was a person, plain and simple. And Caitlyn felt that in Vi’s gaze.
Caitlyn appreciated Vi for that, and Vi, being the only person in her life to ever have done that, had left an indelible mark on Caitlyn. She was more than just a partner. She was an anchor. The thought of losing her terrified Caitlyn, making her chest ache duly.
Caitlyn scoffed at the thought of the posh folk. For the first time in a while, she somehow felt…free. Of some sort of weight she didn’t even know was there. Vi had freed her, and now, Caitlyn couldn’t care less about what the people had to say.
~~~
Caitlyn’s thumb hovered slightly over the ‘send’ button. She had been pacing around her room for nearly twenty minutes now, crafting a text to Vi and asking her to meet up.
Still, something held her back. What if Vi didn’t want to see her? What if she wasn’t ready to move on from the argument? What if she still despised Caitlyn for looking down on her?
Caitlyn’s grip tightened around her phone. It was a risk she had to take if there was going to be any chance of repairing the hole torn in their relationship.
It took Vi nearly a whole day, but she eventually responded with a simple, Fine.
~~~
Vi walked into the cafe in the late afternoon, as scheduled. The staff were nowhere to be found — perhaps in the back — and besides two other customers, the cafe was empty.
Caitlyn sat at their usual corner table, her back to Vi.
Vi walked over, and Caitlyn looked up. Vi’s brow was furrowed, her expression guarded, arms crossed defensively. She stood next to the table but didn’t sit.
“What do you want?” she asked.
Caitlyn’s shoulders sagged. Her blue eyes were a strange mix of emotions. “To…apologise.”
The word seemed forced, but her eyes reflected the guilt festering within her. Vi pulled out a chair and sat down.
“Go on,” she said.
“I was wrong,” Caitlyn started, voice steady despite the lump in her throat that Vi could almost hear. “I let my fear of what people might think control me. It wasn’t fair to you, and it wasn’t fair to the connection we were starting to build. You’re…” She hesitated, her gaze dropping to the table. “You’re important to me, Vi. And I should’ve acted like it.”
Vi clenched her jaw, though she wasn’t exactly angry at Caitlyn. “So what? You’re just cool with being friends with a Zaunite now?”
“It’s not about that,” Caitlyn answered quietly. “I…realised I don’t really care about what the other Piltovans have to say about this. You’re brave and honest and so many other good things that they aren’t. And you’re more important to me than they are. You’re my friend, Vi. And I’m not ashamed of that.”
Vi’s expression softened. Deep inside, the apology had struck a point in her heart she hadn’t expected, filling her with the sort of warmth and admiration she had always yearned for. It was just a taste, but for the moment, it was enough.
She leaned back in her chair and interlaced her fingers. “You sure have a smooth tongue, huh, cupcake?”
Caitlyn’s shoulders relaxed, and Vi could feel the tension dissipating almost immediately. “Is that…an acceptance?”
“I’m sorry, too,” Vi said, the words surprising her. “I shouldn’t have lashed out. I should have at least given you a chance to talk.”
Tentatively, she reached across the table and gripped Caitlyn’s hand in hers. Neither of them pulled away. Instead, Caitlyn squeezed Vi’s fingers.
“You don’t owe me an apology,” Caitlyn said. “You had every right to be mad.”
Vi smiled slightly and withdrew. “If you say so, cupcake,” she said. “Are you paying for this?”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “Stop calling me that,” she said. “And yes, I’ll pay.”
Vi leaned forward, her tone softening. “For what it’s worth, I get it. This world of yours? It’s not easy to navigate. But don’t think for a second that I’m gonna stick around if you keep shutting me out. Deal?”
Caitlyn nodded, her smile turning genuine. “Deal.”
She took a sip of tea as Vi ordered a cold matcha latte. For a moment, neither of them said anything, until Vi broke the silence.
“So, about that next gala. Do I get to pick the after-party spot this time?”
Caitlyn laughed, shaking her head. “If you promise not to take me to some dingy Zaunite dive bar.”
Vi’s eyes glinted mischievously. “No promises, cupcake.”