There had been seventeen whole packages delivered to Carmilla Karnstein’s front door in the past week. Three of them had her name on them- one was a gift from her sister ( “Sorry sis, not making it home for Christmas this year. Give Mother my regards, or set her on fire. Whichever works for you. Merry Christmas” -Mattie ) the other two were gifts for her brother and mother. The rest of the packages ranged in size from fitting in her hand to capable of holding a small child within, and most certainly were not addressed to her.
Carmilla, for lack of a better plan, had basically shoved all fourteen packages in her closet. It had been a bit of a struggle, as the latest box had been the biggest and also the heaviest, but she managed. She hoped no other boxes came- she was running out of room in her closet.
But of course, all of the good karma in the world (not that Carmilla had much stored) could not have stopped the doorbell from ringing one afternoon two days before Christmas.
“If this is another god damn package…” Carmilla grumbled as she marched to the door. She wrenched it open and couldn’t help the small gasp that came out of her mouth.
“Ma’am, could you sign?” The delivery woman held out a clipboard and Carmilla turned her glare to her.
“This thing is taller than I am. What the hell am I supposed to do with it?” She snarled.
“Look, lady. I just bring things to the address printed on it. That thing was not easy to get out of the truck, so either you sign or I stay here until you do.” The woman seemed unfazed by Carmilla’s hostility. Instead she looked rather frazzled. Carmilla sighed and took pity on her, snatching up the clipboard and quickly scrawling her initials on the line.
“Now go away.” The woman wasted no time in doing just that, and Carmilla slunk out of her house towards the package, shivering slightly in the cold. She stalked around it, searching for the name and address. She found it on the opposite side of the box.
“Who the fuck is Laura Hollis, and why the hell does her shit keep ending up on my doorstep!?” She yelled, punching the box. It didn’t even budge.
“Um, I’m sorry did you say Laura Hollis?” A small voice asked from behind her. Carmilla spun on her heel, ready to glare the hell out of whoever said that. Instead, she nearly tripped over her own feet. A short woman, shorter than Carmilla, stood at the end of her driveway, one arm crossed over her chest, supporting the other as she tapped her chin with a mitten clad hand. She wore a red scarf with matching earmuffs and a tan peacoat. With her pink nose and cheeks and snowflakes in her long straight hair, she looked almost...cute.
“Why does it matter. This is the fifteenth fucking package of hers that I’ve acquired against my will.” Carmilla huffed, trying to recover her annoyance and get herself together. Carmilla Karnstein did not call people cute. Not genuinely at least.
“It matters to me! I’m Laura, and I am missing all of the presents I ordered! I live just down the street” The now named Laura cried.
“Take them!” Carmilla practically begged, shoving the ginormous package towards her. It didn’t move, but Carmilla simply scrambled into her house, yanking open her closet. She began hauling Laura’s packages onto her doorstep, dumping them next to the ginormous package until none remained in her house.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding.” Laura said. She’d made her way up the driveway while Carmilla grabbed the boxes. “I wonder why they kept coming to your house? I live across the street, so-”
“Look, I really don’t care.” Carmilla interrupted. “I just want you to take your deliveries and leave.”
“Someone’s a grinch.” Laura scoffed. “At least help me get them to my house. Please?” Carmilla glared at her, but her pleading brown eyes made her growl and look away.
“Fine. But at least tell me what’s in this monster.” She kicked the big box that had just arrived.
“Alright. Come on, let’s go!” Laura scooped up an armful of the packages while Carmilla sighed and grabbed a coat from inside before grudgingly copying her. Laura marched down the driveway and across the street, to the house kiddie corner to Carmilla’s. “Let me just unlock it. You can leave everything just inside.” She struggled with the keys and Carmilla made no move to help her. She dumped the boxes as soon as Laura got the door unlocked.
The two of them made quick work of transporting all of the boxes, and soon all that was left was the huge one that was taller than both of them. Laura stood facing it, giving it a pensive look while Carmilla slouched behind her, eager to just get the damn thing off her doorstep.
“It’s probably going to take both of us to move it. How strong are you, again?”
So that’s how Carmilla ended up in the middle of the street with the majority of the weight of a gigantic box resting on her as a total stranger attempted to maneuver it through her window.
“Don’t you think this would have gone better with a little bit of planning?” Carmilla grunted as she accidentally kicked over the screen they removed from the window, which was leaning against the side of the house.
“Usually yes but I thought we could just go for it.” Laura groaned, slipping a bit on the snow as she shoved the box.
“What the hell is in this thing anyway?”
“A life sized Bill Nye figurine.”
“WHAT?” Carmilla cried and dropped her end of the box in shock. She groaned as it landed on her toe.
“Not Bill!” Laura exclaimed, seemingly unconcerned with the state of Carmilla’s foot.
“Why did you order a life sized Bill Nye?” She groaned, hopping around on one foot.
“It’s a gift for my friend. They’ve had a shitty year, so I’m going big for them.” Laura explained, rubbing her chin and contemplating how to get the box in.
“Good for you. Bad for my foot.” Carmilla grumbled.
“Oh look! It lined up with the window!” Laura pushed at the end of the package, and it slid right inside. “Perfect! Thanks so much for the help Carmilla!”
“Don’t mention it.” She mumbled to a beaming Laura.
“Would you like to come in for some hot chocolate? It’s the least I can do.” She asked hopefully.
“No thanks, creampuff. I think I’m going to go back to grinching it up in my own house.” Carmilla jerked a thumb over her shoulder. Laura’s shoulders slumped.
“Oh, ok then. I’ll see you around?”
“Don’t count on it.” Carmilla turned on her heel and began to walk back to her house.
“Hey wait!” Laura cried. Carmilla turned to look back at her. “If you want, you’re welcome to my Christmas party. Christmas day, come over whenever. I’m having some friends over, and it would be better if you were there.”
“I’ll think about it.” She turned back to her path and burrowed into the collar of her coat. Yeah, she might take her up on that offer.