Chapter 6
Sleep didn’t find Lexa again that night, as the sounds of Tondc waking filtered through the closed door of the hut she went out to the small training area. She could not get what was going to happen that day out of her mind. Something else that had been playing on her mind was what was going to happen afterwards. After the fall of the Mountain there had been murmurings of discontent amongst her people, some questioning the decision she had made that night, others questioning her ability to lead her people. Lexa knew that whatever she had done that night on the Mountain would have consequences, she also knew that with the Mountain Men gone there was nothing that kept the coalition together. Their mutual enemy was gone. Ordering the clan leaders to Polis was almost asking for trouble, her position as leader of the coalition had been pretty solid up until this point, but she knew all that could change.
When she had turned her back on Clarke and walked away that night she had shown that she could not be trusted, that her word meant nothing. Some of the other clan leaders would understand her decision, most of them would have done the same thing, but that in itself lead to a weakening of her position. Her place as Heda was not in question, that was something that she was born to be, not chosen by her people but chosen by the spirit of Heda. Nobody could change that, no matter how much they disagreed with what she had done. She could, of course, still be challenged on it, but that would mean her people would have to go against their very beliefs and Lexa was sure that nobody doubted her that much.
As the village awoke fully to the new day Lexa continued to train, she knew that when it was time for her warriors to attack Camp Jaha a messenger would be sent, until then she was determined to push her body to its limits. She ran over everything that Anya had taught her, every punishing lesson. She needed to stop herself thinking, she couldn’t let doubts into her mind. One thing that she couldn’t get out of her mind was what she and Clarke had talked about the previous night. The blonde finally starting to remember what had happened to her at the hands of the Azgeda. Lexa herself knew that if you tortured someone to the point of their mind breaking, it was easy to imprint your views on them, to get them to do what you wanted. She had done it herself in the past. To know just how far Clarke had been pushed, Lexa needed to know who had tortured her. She knew that many of Nia’s people were capable of it.
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Clarke stood and watched as Lexa trained, it was something that she had always been fascinated by in a way. She had seen Lexa bring down men more than twice her size without even thinking about it, and she had questioned many times how that much power could come from someone as small as Lexa was. Sure she knew that the Commander was physically in peak condition, but there had to be more to it than that. Her eyes narrowed as she watched Lexa suddenly stop what she was doing, the Commander slowly turning her head and looking towards the hut that Clarke had seen Roan coming out of the night before, the hut where they were keeping Ontari. She watched as Lexa tightened the grip on her sword before she walked from the training area towards the hut.
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As she walked into the hut she saw Ontari sitting on the floor, her back against the far wall, the girl opening her eyes as soon as Lexa closed the door.
“To what do I owe the pleasure, Commander?” Ontari asked as she looked at Lexa.
“I’m going to ask you some questions,” Lexa replied, picking up the chair and moving it so it was in front of the girl, “and you’re going to answer them.”
“Seems simple enough.” Ontari said as Lexa sat down.
“One would think,” Lexa replied clenching her jaw a little, “what was your involvement with Clarke during the first few weeks that she was with the Azgeda?”
“I thought you would be more interested in what I could tell you about Costia’s final days.” Ontari said, knowing as soon as she had said it that it was possibly the wrong thing to say.
Lexa gripped her sword a little tighter, her eyes fixed onto Ontari in a way that a hunter eyes their prey. Only the door opening stopped the Commander from standing up.
“Ryder told me that she has yet to eat,” Clarke said as she walked into the hut, “I thought I would bring her breakfast.”
“She eats when I say she can eat,” Lexa replied, without turning to look at Clarke, “leave it there.”
“Lexa…” Clarke started to say.
“I said leave it there.” Lexa said as she stood up, turning to face Clarke, “when she needs a healer I will have Ryder come for you.”
“Is she likely to need a healer?” Clarke asked.
“That depends on how long she wishes to remain alive.” Lexa replied, “if she answers my questions I do not see that we will have a problem.”
“Is this really necessary?” the blonde asked, stepping closer to Lexa.
“I have questions to which I need answers,” Lexa said, her jaw clenched tightly as she talked to Clarke, “answers which you are either unable or unwilling to give me.”
“And this is the best way to go about getting those answers?” Clarke asked.
“In my experience, yes,” Lexa replied, “or perhaps there is another way, maybe I should invite her into my bed, would that be more acceptable to you?”
Clarke shook her head and sighed as she turned and walked from the hut.
Lexa watched Clarke leave before she turned back and looked at Ontari.
“There are two ways in which this can happen,” Lexa said calmly, “you can answer the questions I ask, or I can make you answer them, the choice is yours.”
“When Clarke was first brought to the capitol she was unconscious,” Ontari said, “it was obvious that she wasn’t there by choice. Nia ordered that she be kept in one of the rooms under the palace where she lives. They are basically cells. She was kept there for almost a week, no human contact other than Roan and the healer.”
“What happened after the first week?” Lexa asked, slightly relieved that the girl seemed to want to take the easier option.
“She was moved to another of the rooms, higher up in the palace,” Ontari replied, “somewhere that she would be a little more comfortable. That was the first time that I actually saw her, I was told to take her something to eat. She didn’t even look at me; it was like she looked right through me as if I wasn’t even there. By that point it was pretty clear what was happening to her, the wounds on her arms were visible and fresh. I remember walking past the room that night to hear her crying and screaming. Other than Clarke the room was empty…”
“She was having a nightmare.” Lexa said.
“Yeah,” Ontari said with a nod, “a bad one. Just before I woke her up do you know who she was calling out for, who she wanted to help her… you.”
Lexa didn’t say anything; she couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Nia wanted to know everything she said,” Ontari continued, “whatever came out of her mouth while someone was in the room, she wanted to know about it. Now, obviously I knew that she’d take great interest in Clarke crying out for you during her nightmare, but I didn’t tell her.”
“Why not?” Lexa asked.
“I’d listened to someone else screaming out for you while they were being tortured,” Ontari answered, “I knew how much worse it would be for Clarke, so I kept it to myself.”
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Clarke paced outside the hut, she knew that Lexa needed answers, and she also knew that she had no say over anything that happened in Tondc. She couldn’t really say anything about Lexa torturing someone for information, she had witnessed it herself back when the 100 had first landed, she had stood by as Lincoln was tortured. She was expecting to hear something from the hut, raised voices, cries of pain, but she heard nothing. It was the silence that worried Clarke.
“Do you need help with something?” Ryder asked as he walked over to her.
“Lexa is in there,” Clarke replied, motioning to the hut, “she basically told me to leave, said she’d send for me if Ontari needed a healer.”
“If she answers Heda’s questions then she will not need a healer.” Ryder said, “you know how this works, Clarke.”
“Yeah,” Clarke said with a nod, “I do. I know that one way or another she’ll tell Lexa what she wants to know, then Lexa will kill her. She didn’t have to come here last night, she didn’t have to tell me that Nia had killed Niylah, but she did.”
“That was her choice, not yours.” Ryder replied.
“Yeah,” the blonde said with a small sigh and shake of her head, “it’s also a reminder why I shouldn’t let people in… People I let get close to me either die or screw me up.”
“Screw you up?” Ryder asked, his brow furrowed a little in confusion.
“It means mess with my head,” Clarke replied with a glance back at the door, “use me for their own benefit, get what they need and then walk away…”
“Heda had no choice.” Ryder said quietly, “you know that.”
Clarke nodded a little.
“Doesn’t stop it hurting though.” She said before she walked away.
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“I don’t know who told Nia about Clarke crying out for you,” Ontari said, “It definitely wasn’t me, but someone did. Nia figured out that Clarke had started talking to me, not about anything important, but just talking. I was going in there to take her food and help the healer, and when she was asking how she hurt herself, I was the one lying to her. Telling her that it didn’t matter how she did it, we were there to help her… I was kept away from her for a week, and in that time Nia found out about the nightmares.”
Lexa found herself feeling a small amount of sympathy for the girl sitting in front of her, she also felt the anger that had been burning away at her since she had walked in the hut start to build again. Ontari had done what everyone else does when they meet Clarke, she’d liked her, even though she knew she shouldn’t.
“In that one week, she went from not talking about you at all, blocking it all out,” Ontari continued, shaking her head a little, “to talking about how she hated you. How you left her die. All of it…”
“Why the change?” Lexa asked, attempting to keep the emotion off her face.
“You became the focus of what was happening to her,” the other girl replied, “you were the tool used, Commander. By the end of it her mind was so broken it was easy for Nia to get her to agree to what she wanted to do. We all know that Clarke will do anything to protect her people, her friends, family… In the end it was easy. The safety of her people, at any cost. A lesson you taught her, I believe.”
“And what was the cost?” Lexa asked, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it anyway.
“You.” Ontari said, “Clarke was supposed to go to Polis, get you to agree to send help for her people and the Azgeda. That bit was easy, easier than I expected it to be, I honestly did not expect you to agree that easily. Which got me to thinking that maybe Clarke isn’t the only one who developed strong feelings.”
“I send assistance and then what?” Lexa said, her jaw clenched, not wanting to discuss her feelings for Clarke.
“You were supposed to lead your warriors,” the other girl replied, “Nia and her warriors would fight alongside yours to help Clarke’s people, then you were going to die. Nia would go to Polis, where the clan leaders are meeting, tell them of your death. She would then take over control of the coalition, using Clarke and the fear that people have for her. But that’s obviously not going to happen now, as you’re here and your warriors are elsewhere. There was another plan though, for if that one didn’t work out. She’s going to challenge your leadership of the coalition in Polis. She already has the other clan leader she needs on side. You are going to have to fight for your place, and your life, if you want the Skaikru joining the coalition.”
“That’s to be expected,” Lexa said with a sigh, “Who will she have me fight?”
“I don’t know,” Ontari answered, “probably her son, though she did bring some of her best hand-to-hand fighters with her, so she has a few options.”
Lexa nodded and stood up.
“What happens to me now?” the other girl asked.
“Now, you eat.” Lexa replied walking over to the plate that Clarke had left earlier.
“No one should be sent to death on an empty stomach, right.” Ontari said, taking the plate from Lexa.
“I may yet not kill you.” Lexa replied honestly, “you may have your uses.”
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Clarke saw Lexa leave the hut, as the Commander’s eyes met hers both felt a vibration in the ground. Everyone started to look around, trying to figure out where the noise came from.
“Ready the horses.” Lexa said as she looked at Ryder, before she walked back to the hut she had been sharing with Clarke.
The blonde followed Lexa to the hut and watched as she saw the Commander putting on her armor.
“Lexa…” Clarke said.
“We need to leave,” Lexa replied, glancing over at Clarke, “I am assuming that explosion came from your camp, yet Indra’s messenger did not get here.”
“And that’s bad?” Clarke asked, “maybe he just didn’t get here yet.”
“If that explosion marked the start of the battle, Clarke, it may already be over.” Lexa said as she picked up her sword and walked towards the door.
“Lexa,” Clarke said, putting her hand on the Commander’s arm, “I need to tell you something.”
“No you don’t.” Lexa replied with a small smile, “I already know.”
“If you already knew what I wanted to tell you, you wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get to Camp Jaha…” Clarke said.
“It is my destiny to die in battle, Clarke,” Lexa said, stepping a little closer to the blonde, “if that is today, tomorrow or the next day, that is how my life will end. That is not your fault, you are not to blame for what happens here. But I will not stay here while my warriors die just because I may be riding to my death.”
“Just be careful…” Clarke replied quietly.
Lexa nodded a little before walking from the hut and over to the horses.