Zayn pretends not to notice the way Liam peeks her head around the door and she pretends that she hadn't listened to every footstep of hers from the entrance of their dorm to their bedroom. But she did, and she looks up because she has always had trouble keeping her eyes off of Liam when they are in the same room together.
Liam looks sheepish, nibbling on her bottom lip as she adjusts the snapback snug to her head, wisps of sandy brown curls sticking out from underneath. Her cheeks are bright red from the cool night air, and the color seeps down her throat and pools across her chest.
“Hey, not sleeping?”
Zayn fidgets with the pages of the book on her lap, shaking her head and scooching closer to the wall next to her bed without word. The relief that crosses Liam’s face is noticeable before she pads over and props herself onto the space Zayn has made for her.
She lays on her side, looking off Zayn as she toes off her sneakers, kicking them to the floor. “I didn't want to bother you if you were.”
Zayn sighs, closing the book before she sinks down, closer to Liam. She pinches her chin, giving her a crooked smile. “You never bother me.”
The pink in Liam’s cheeks falls a shade darker as she raises her brows, lips pouting out some before she speaks. “Yeah? You seemed a bit mad with me, today. And like, I wasn't sure why -”
Guilt fills Zayn as she shakes her head. She hadn't been mad, but jealous and she sure as hell hadn’t wanted Liam to catch onto that.
“No, how was your date with Harry?”
Liam's brows push together and she frowns in confusion for a long moment before she flops onto her back, sighing loudly. “Good, I guess.”
Zayn rakes her eyes down the length of Liam, the way her shirt bunches up above her belly button and the jeans that cling to the swell of her hips. Her fingers flatten underneath her breasts as she looks at Zayn, and Zayn feels her cheeks warm as she drags her eyes back up to her face.
“He wants me to hang at his tomorrow. I think he is going to Netflix and chill me.”
Zayn snorts out her laugh at how adorable Liam looks as her face scrunches. “Probably. Nialler tries that with me all of the time. The two of them are probably plottin’ together.”
“Yeah,” Liam drags out, tapping a finger under Zayn's chin. “But you guys actually - like, you know. I don't.”
Zayn frowns in confusion. “Dude, what do you mean?”
Liam burns even more, rolling her eyes as she tugs her hat off. She props it onto Zayn's head, grinning at Zayn’s frown. “Like you know. Shag, bang, do the sex.”
Zayn barks out a laugh, wanting to press her lips to the pout on Liam's just to ease the fondness building in her chest but she can't. And that is the reason she really can't be jealous of Harry, though her and Niall really aren't anything than a casual shag here and there. Liam and Harry have actually been going on dates, though Liam turns her nose up whenever Zayn calls him her boyfriend.
“Donut,” Zayn fonds, tucking herself closer to Liam. The music playing from the speaker on her dresser is loud, because she had attempted to mute out the sound of their other roommates on the other side of the wall, noisy they get even though they knew Zayn was here. “But seriously Li, if you don't want to then don't. Tell him that and if he gives you any shit, call me and I'll kick his ass.”
Liam giggles, the corner of her eyes crunching as she does. “Well, I don't think he is like that, babe. I would like to, just - I don't think with him.”
Zayn runs her palm over Liam's warm cheek, seeing the embarrassed look in her eyes and wishing she could get rid of it. “Nothin’ wrong with that, waiting for someone you want to mess with before you do.”
“I have,” Liam blurts. Her brows push together as she fingers the shirt she wears nervously. “Like, met the someone. But what if I'm embarrassing like? I never got myself off properly, so what if I am actually a screamer and don't know.”
Zayn bites hard on her bottom lip as not to laugh, but Liam narrows her eyes at her anyway.
“I'm serious,” Liam scolds, pinching the inside of her thigh. “Like that is an honest fear of mine.”
“I'm not laughing at that,” Zayn mumbles, grinning as she tickles under her chin. “You're just cute, yeah?”
Liam grins, looking back at the ceiling. “Yeah, well -”
Zayn sighs, tucking her fingers through Liam’s hair to shake out the way it still holds onto the shape of her hat. “But what do you mean you never got yourself off?”
“Tried,” Liam mumbles, rolling to her side. She wrinkles her nose, eyelashes fluttering across her cheeks as she looks down shyly. “Don't have patience I reckon, and it's hard when you're like five feet from me all of the time.”
“That has never stopped me before,” Zayn jokes. And she is joking, because as much as Liam makes her feel like she needs to put her hand between her legs, Zayn has always had a hard time at being quiet.
“What?” Liam breathes, shoving her some before she cups her hip and tugs her closer, laughing softly. “Shut up.”
“I'm kidding,” Zayn insists. “Your problem is you don't know how to relax babe, take your time.” She sucks in a breath, stroking her finger against Liam's cheek to show her what she means. “Don't put pressure on yourself like I know you probably do.”
Liam swallows as she nods, fingers digging into Zayn's leg. “Um, this might be weird but like, how do you do it?”
Zayn is more comfortable around Liam than anyone else. They are close - Liam knows everything about her, except that she is kind of a tiny bit in love with her. A lot really, but she refuses to let her own self know that, let alone Liam. But this, this makes her heart thump up into her throat.
She swallows it down, tugging a confident look on her lips to ease the nerves taking over Liam's face. “I dunno, dude like? Touch myself a lot, like my legs - really like that and stuff. Get myself worked up.”
Liam nods, eyes falling to Zayn's lips so she takes that as an okay to keep talking.
“I don't think too much about it,” Zayn jokes. “Like I just go with what feels good.”
Liam nods again before sighing frustratedly, falling back onto her back and Zayn misses where her fingers no longer touch her thigh.
+*
Liam nibbles on her bottom lip, thumb hovering over the blue link Zayn had sent to her. It should be weird, asking Zayn for masturbation tips, but it isn't really. A little bit, by the way her heart flips in her chest, but Zayn is never judgmental, and they are close -
Liam scrolls through the blog Zayn had linked her to, eyeing the explicit gifs and the dirty text posts, scrolling past the videos because Zayn knicked her headphones and she is too aware of Danielle and Jade outside of her bedroom door.
She tries not to think about how the whole blog is girl on girl, and what that means that Zayn says this is her favorite one because it makes arousal curl down her belly and her thoughts too busy, and Zayn told her she needs to stop thinking too much.
Liam bites her lip as she stops scrolling on a gif of a girl with long raven colored hair, face buried between two soft looking thighs. The arousal in her belly builds as she watches the other girl tug her fingers through the black hair, the roll of her hips just barely noticeable.
Liam squirms against the sheets before she keeps scrolling, reading over the questions asked about different ways to get off. It makes her feel hot, but it doesn't compare to the gifs of the raven haired girl.
She moans softly, watching one where the raven haired girl grips the hips of the brown haired girl underneath her, their hips grinding against each other and the words ‘come for Daddy’ written on the bottom.
Liam closes her eyes, placing her phone beside her as she tries to catch her breath. Her heart races as she inhales, dragging her fingers over the shirt that covers her belly.
The more she touches herself, simple touches across her belly or her hips, the more those simple touches start to feel really fucking good.
She slides her palm under her shirt, shivering she dips her fingers under her bra. She tries to clear her mind before pushing them under the material, but she can't. Her mind stays on the raven haired girl, lips on the inner of her thighs.
“Fuck,” Liam whispers as she drags her nails over her perked nipple. She pinches it between her fingers, hips rolling up as her toes press into the mattress.
She pushes up, undoing her bra but keeping on the shirt because she likes the way it smells like Zayn’s perfume. She had stolen it from her dresser this morning, but Zayn hasn't seemed to mind - only pinches the material with that crooked grin of hers on her lips.
She remembers what Zayn had said about her thighs and she tries it, dragging her fingers from her knees to the inside of them, pushing under the spandex shorts she wears. It tickles but warms through her, making the moan in her throat feel hard to swallow down.
She stops when she reaches the edge of her panties before pulling away and pushing her fingers under the band at the top instead, legs trembling.
Black hair between her legs, soft full lips and gentle fingers, she keeps her mind on that instead of the worry in her head that this is a waste of time as she pushes her fingers lower.
“Oh,” Liam gasps quietly, sliding her fingers over the damp fabric. It sparks through her as she rubs down, hips rolling up to meet her touch.
Liam groans, biting hard on her bottom lip as rubs her clit, the drag of the material against her maddening.
Liam hooks her thumb under the top of her panties, hesitant like before she sucks in a breath and lifts her hips, tugging those and her shorts past her hips.
She feels a bit out in the open like this, early enough in the day that it is still light in her room, on top of her sheets and though the door is locked, she thinks about Zayn walking in on her -
“Fuck,” Liam gasps as pleasure rolls down to her gut before she can touch herself again. An energy flows through her as she does, stroking between her folds the way Zayn had touched her cheek.
She feels tense, trying to take it slow, her breath coming out sharp and quiet. It is frustrating, how she thinks she is close to orgasming but she figures she isn't, as it isn't anything mind blowing like she has read about.
Liam covers her face with her arm, taking in the scent of Zayn's perfume when the shirt drags up more. She blames that for the way the raven haired girl takes Zayn's face in her mind, tongue rubbing against Liam’s clit instead of her fingers even though she knows that isn't the only reason.
Liam gasps out, her belly clenching as her hips buck up to her touch. It feels like her throat might break with the way she strains to keep the noise down.
“Liam!”
Liam pulls her hand from herself, cupping her lips as she hears Jade’s voice outside of her door before she knocks. Her heart races, a pressure between her legs that urges for her to continue to touch herself but she curls her fingers into her sheets instead.
“We're picking Zayn up and going to dinner, wanna come?”
Yes, Liam thinks, frowning as she pushes up. She scrambles to pull her clothes back on and to fix her bra, nervous that maybe she didn't actually lock the door and Jade will find her in this state.
And that kind of excites her more -
“Course,” she calls, tugging her hair up into a bun because she feels where it sticks to the back of her neck. “Just one second.”
The shake in her voice is obvious, and she clasps her hands to her face, feeling ridiculous as she tries to catch her breath.
+*
Liam rubs at her fingers as she looks out of the window where she sits in the back of Jade’s car, an annoying feeling curling in her belly as she watches Nialler curl his arms around Zayn’s shoulders.
She swallows, looking away before their lips can press together, her cheeks on fire because she can't stop thinking about Zayn’s tongue between her legs. And it is awful -
Awful because it makes the pressure between her legs build and Zayn always knows when she is feeling off, and Liam isn’t going to be able to hide the flush in her cheeks when Zayn gets in the car, or the way she will look at Zayn licking her bottom lip like she always does. She has thought of Zayn in more than friend ways before, but she has always been able to shrug them off. Kind of.
Zayn's brows furrow the moment she looks at Liam after sliding into the car, touching Liam’s thigh but Liam just nods to tell her she is okay, not wanting to draw Danielle and Jade’s attention.
Zayn only frowns more. “How was your date with Harry?”
“It's supposed to be later,” Liam says. “Cancelled it.”
Zayn rubs her cheek. “We can go out then, ladies night - you and me.”
+*
Zayn feels drunk.
She hasn't drank anything, but she loves the the loud music around her, the crowd of bodies moving horribly off beat, the excitement around her and Liam’s smile. She can't hear her giggles but she can see them in the way her mouth falls open, eyes practically closed as she grabs Zayn’s fingers and wiggles her hips.
She soaks in the way Liam’s bumps against her from how close they are, breasts pressing against Zayn’s here and there when she plants herself to Zayn’s front before moving back.
“Having fun?”
Liam moves closer, pressing as close as she can as she turns her head so Zayn can repeat herself with her lips hovering over her ear.
“Having fun?”
Liam nods, biting at her bottom lip as she lets go of one of Zayn's hands to curl her arm around her shoulders, fingers tickling at her neck before she leans to brush her lips against her ear.
It makes Zayn shiver and grip Liam’s fingers as she cups Liam’s hip with her other hand, not wanting to still the way she continues to wiggle them but to pull her closer so she can feel Liam's body moving against hers.
“Always have fun with you.”
Zayn rolls her hips back against Liam’s when she doesn't let her neck go, telling herself it is normal - she does it all of the time with Jade and Danielle. It just feels different, the pool of arousal in her belly and the way her chest warms when she eyes the warm look in Liam’s eyes.
They fit perfectly together, bodies moving in sync with each other more so than the music. Zayn drops her eyes to her lips as they part, feeling the way Liam’s legs spread some before she presses harder against her.
Zayn digs her fingers into her waist, rolling her hips back and Liam’s lips part more - erotic looking as the lyrics of the song around them pound against Zayn’s ears.
Hear the sound of your body drip, drip,drip, as I kiss both sets of lip, lip, lips -
She bites hard on her lower lip to keep herself from tasting Liam’s full bottom one before she turns, letting go of Liam to press her back to her chest in hopes that it will tame the urge to kiss her best mate.
Liam's hands are warm against her belly, the cool air breezing against the exposed skin when Liam drags the material of her shirt up as they dance. She can almost make out Liam’s voice as she sings along the words, voice a few centimeters away from her ear.
Girl, I’ll drink you down, sippin’ on your body all night -
“I just wanna take your legs and wrap ‘em around,” Zayn sings back, sliding her fingers over the back of Liam’s hand on her belly to intertwine them as she tilts her head backwards, onto Liam’s shoulder.
The giggle Liam lets out as her lips press against Zayn’s ear warms through her, and her eyes close but she can see the way Liam’s eyes probably crinkle at the corners like they always do in her head.
Liam’s hand drags down her hip, sliding to her thigh and Zayn gasps quietly when she cups the inside of them, tugging her legs apart a bit to make them fit better together. It makes the arousal rush through her, even more so when she feels the drip between her legs.
“Girls’ night is over,” Liam says loudly with disappointment in her voice before letting go of Zayn suddenly, making her stumble back a bit as she had been leaning her weight against her. Liam presses a hand over her lower spine before Zayn can turn and see the frown on her face.
“What is it?” Zayn yells over the music, curling her fingers around Liam’s wrist before strong arms wrap around her waist and her nose fills with Niall’s strong cologne.
“Ay Zayner,” Niall yells, plopping his lips to her jaw. “Fancy meetin’ you here.”
Zayn doesn’t turn to him, feeling her chest heavy some as Liam winks both eyes at her, mumbling something about getting a drink before she is pushing away from them and weaving through the crowd towards the bar.
She turns, giving Niall a half ass grin as she curls his fingers into the flaps of his plaid shirt. “Girl’s night, with Li.”
Niall grins, curling his arms around Zayn’s shoulders so their chests press together. “Sounds fun. Love to get in on that.”
Zayn groans before she laughs, shoving Niall away with a grin. “I bet that you would.”
+*
“Gonna lay in your bed.”
Liam feels heavy when she falls half on top of Zayn, sighing contently when her lips scrape against Zayn’s cheek.
“Your bed is way better than mine.”
Zayn snorts, curling her arm around Zayn’s shoulders before she tickles her fingers through her hair. “Better with you in it,” she mumbles.
Liam laughs tiredly, curling her arm around Zayn and tickling her fingers against her neck. She hadn’t drank much, but Zayn can smell the alcohol on her breath when she pushes closer, feeling her smile against her cheek. “Better than Nialler?”
Zayn laughs softly, tightening her grip around Liam. “Nialler has never been in my bed, babe. Only you.”
“Oh,” Liam mutters, snuggling closer. She shifts her leg, wrapping it around Zayn’s waist before pushing it between her’s so her toes drag down her calf. “M’ special then.”
Zayn bites around her grin, nodding. “Yeah, babe. Exactly.”
Liam’s thumb rubs at her skin as they fall quiet and Zayn focuses on the soft sound of her breathing, the way her chest rises and falls in opposite of her own, and the steady flutter of her heart against Zayn’s chest until her thumb stills and Liam heavies, falling asleep.
+*
Liam cups her palms over her face, breathing heavily as she falls onto her bed. She just came back from a jog, deciding on using the stairs instead of the elevator to get to her dorm room, and her body aches, sweat coating her skin and heart pounding in her ears.
And she can’t catch her breath as she feels her face grow hot because she definitely just heard Jade moan loudly from her room, a high pitched noise that Liam shouldn’t have been aroused by but she had been.
She hears Danielle’s muffled voice before she decides to reach for Zayns’ headphones on the desk between their beds and tug them over her ears, taking the iPod that is attached with them. Zayn must be with Niall or something, because she never leaves without her iPod - even when she is going to class or work.
Liam scrolls through her playlist before she clicks on the one with her name. She isn’t supposed to know about it, she thinks, because Zayn had never told her about it - but she had discovered it a few weeks ago while Zayn had let her borrow her computer to make her own playlists.
Liam closes her eyes as she leans back against the pillow, knowing she needs to take a shower or something but she feels too nervous to get out of bed, in case she runs into Danielle or Jade and they know she has heard them.
I’ve known you five years, going on six. Feelings that we’ve had, always dismissed -
Liam cups her hands over the headphones like that can help her hear better, muting out any sound around her as her heart thumps heavily in her chest. She doesn’t understand why half of the songs on this playlist are here, though she considers maybe it is just because her and Zayn share the same taste in music. Like maybe Zayn just chose these songs to share them with her, even if she never does -
You should bring thoughts to me one more time,
And maybe we’ll be caught up in a moment,
And came out the closet, you and I -
She does like this song, a lot really. And she will never admit that it has anything to do with the image pressing against her eyelids, Zayn crawling up her body, raven hair waterfalling across her shoulders as she whisper sings the words against her jaw.
Liam bites on her bottom lip, crunching her eyebrows together as she feels that course of sparks down her spine that always comes with thinking about Zayn like that. Intimately.
I don’t really want to compromise our friendship, but I got a thing for you -
Liam flicks her eyes open as her phone vibrates in her pocket, not wanting to answer it because the ‘and I don’t want to cross the line, but I’m kinda really hoping that we do’ makes her breath catch in her throat and she rather focus on maybe what this song means to Zayn instead of focusing on how to lie to Harry and say she has plans for tonight.
She taps out something quick - her usual lie, about doing something with Zayn tonight. She feels bad, she likes Harry - she does. But like, like a mate.
Harry and her have danced dirty together before, Harry’s large hands on her back and full lips on her throat and it just made her… giggle? But with Zayn, Liam felt like she was coming apart right there on the dance floor, struggling to keep her lips to herself. To keep herself from grinding off against her bum even though every touch, every move made arousal shoot down to Liam’s core.
It makes her squirm now, just thinking about how Zayn made her feel and she rips the headphones off, right after the I’ve been thinking about showing you how I feel lowkey and pushes from the bed, hoping a shower will make her head feel better.
“Shut up, would you,” she hears Zayn laugh, muffled through her closed door before there is a bang and Danielle’s giggles follow. Liam bites on her bottom lip, reaching for the door handle as she feels it jiggle under her palm.
Zayn peeks her head in carefully, a hesitant look on her face before her eyes slide over Liam and brighten, the crinkles in the corners of her eyes deepening as they squint. “Hey Li.”
She slides her palm across Liam’s hip distractedly as she pushes inside the door, nudging her head roughly in the direction of their roommates’ bedroom. “Wish Jade was as worried about being a screamer as you are.”
“Hey,” Liam complains, swatting Zayn’s bum as she pads off towards her bed, throwing Liam a grin over her shoulders. “I reckon I can be quite quiet, now.”
“Oh?” Zayn asks, raising her brow at Liam before she searches for something on her desk.
“Yeah,” Liam mumbles, feeling her face growing hot and she wants to slap a palm over her face because she hadn’t really thought before she spoke just then and she does that so often she isn't sure how Zayn can't know how she feels about her. “Um, tried what you said - trying not to think too much.”
Zayn nibbles at her bottom lip as she glances at her before padding towards Liam bed to reach for the iPod and headphones that lie there. There is a flush in her cheeks when she looks back at Liam, a bit of hesitancy in her features that Liam isn’t used to seeing in the other girl as she drops her eyes down to the iPod.
“How’d it go?” Zayn says, clearing her throat some before giving Liam an easy grin, eyes glinting with amusement as she pads back over towards Liam.
“Felt good for a while,” Liam mumbles, fidgeting with the bottom of her t-shirt, a nervous habit of hers. “Didn’t really do a good job at clearing my mind though.”
Thought about you, she wants to say, but she presses her lips shut tightly because that would be crossing a line, even if she desperately wants to feel Zayn’s hands on her skin. It isn’t something she could ever ask for.
The music from Jade and Danielle’s room is loud, but the distinct noises of sex aren’t completely muffled and it makes Liam’s face grow hotter before Zayn steps in front of her, nearly pushing her back against their door with how close she gets. She tucks a finger under Liam’s chin, lifting it some so all Liam can see is Zayn’s crooked grin.
“Maybe you need someone to distract you,” Zayn murmurs, lips quirking up more. She nudges her head again towards the other room. “Go ask Dani and Jade if you can join, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”
Liam groans softly, pushing Zayn away but gripping onto the black and red plaid shirt, one Liam is certain is hers, she wears to tug her closer until they are fully aligned. She thinks she is going crazy or something, since there is already a spark down her spine from having Zayn so close, her senses filling with her perfume and the smell of the lotion she wears, that makes her skin look so soft -
She swears she has never been this sensitive, so easily aroused and she is slightly embarrassed because she can feel her cheeks grow hot and she knows Zayn must see the pink of her skin.
“Shut up,” Liam breathes, trying to grin back. She is all too aware of how she doesn’t smell as good as Zayn, probably sweaty from her jog but Zayn doesn’t seem to mind. “Maybe a shower will help relax me enough.”
She doesn’t mean to smooth her fingers across Zayn’s belly, but she feels like there is a pressure building under her fingertips that can only be eased by the touch of Zayn’s skin. She drops her eyes to Zayn’s lips, watching the way she sucks the bottom one between her teeth, cocking her head to the side some.
“You kill me,” Zayn says softly, voice dropping to a whisper as she presses her palm to Liam’s cheek. She pulls away then and Liam frowns, clinging onto Zayn’s hoodie so she can't move too far away.
“What’d I do?”
Zayn smiles, nose wrinkling to assure Liam that she didn’t actually do anything but Liam’s chest tightens roughly as Zayn reaches out to cup her cheek again, thumb dragging against her bottom lip.
“If you keep talking about getting yourself off Li, I’m going to need to.”
Liam stares at Zayn for a long moment, nipping at her bottom lip when Zayn removes her thumb and pulls away again. This time Liam lets her go, confused.
“At least you will be successful,” she jokes, trying to ease the fast pace of her heart with humor. Arousal courses through her as she thinks about it, Zayn’s fingers between her legs while thinking about her.
Zayn barks out a laugh, wrinkling her nose. “I guess I should show you how to do it properly then, sometime. Best mate duties, yeah?”
Liam knocks her head against the back of the door, holding in a groan in her throat and unable to stop the strangled look that takes over her face, but Zayn turns away from Liam then, missing it.
“Maybe,” Liam chokes out some before she pulls open the door, breathing in heavily because the air outside of the room feels a lot more cooler than the air in their bedroom.
+*
Zayn is dying.
She is being tortured, to death.
Liam always gets dressed in the bathroom if Zayn is there. They have lived together for three years now, and that is how it has always been. And Zayn feels awkward because she is propped up against her headboard facing Liam’s dresser and Liam doesn’t even seem to mind.
Zayn bites hard on her bottom lip, sinking down some on her bed as she keeps her eyes trained on the screen of her iPod but she can’t. Liam had just joked about twenty minutes ago about jacking off in the shower, and that had been torturous enough.
And she feels like a proper creep as Liam pulls out a piece of small, red material from her top dresser, letting go of her towel and Zayn’s breath stops for a moment before she realizes that Liam must have tied the front of it or something, because it doesn’t move as Liam bends down to step into the panties she had pulled out.
Zayn closes her eyes, telling herself she should probably just roll over where she isn’t facing Liam but she sucks apparently, because she glances at her best mate again as she tugs on a pair of shorts, ones that she had knicked from Zayn years ago.
Her breath hitches when Liam drops the towel, pooling at her feet and Zayn is screwed now, eyes latched onto the planes of her back, the curve of her spine and the moles scattered across her delicate but strong looking shoulders as she digs through her side of their shared closet.
“Jade and Dani quieted down then,” Liam says suddenly, a shake in her voice that Zayn normally recognizes as nerves with Liam but now she can’t be sure.
“They left,” Zayn says tightly. She pulls her eyes away when Liam turns slightly, showing a glimpse of the curve of her breast from underneath her arm. Zayn feels ridiculous for feeling so affected, but it is Liam -
Liam finally slides on a t-shirt, a soft one that Zayn usually steals from her before she turns around and pads over to Zayn. Her wet hair clings to her shoulders, dampening the material and her skin looks so soft, especially her thighs as she lifts one leg to climb onto Zayn’s bed.
“Just us then,” Liam murmurs, rolling to Zayn’s side. “Good, I could use a nap.”
“Tire yourself out?” Zayn teases, nudging her elbow against Liam even though it feels as if her breath is stuck in her lungs. She had been plagued with thoughts of Liam in the shower, back against the wet tiled wall, fingers working quickly between her legs as they trembled, the other hand pressed over her lips just in case a sound came out too loud.
Liam pouts, brow wrinkling as she shakes her head. “No, I was thinking too much.”
Her voice drops quiet and Zayn has to push away the one part of the headphone she still has covering her ear, opposite of Liam. Liam’s eyes go big, her hands coming up to squish between her cheek and Zayn’s pillow.
“I um, was uh.” Liam raises her brows high towards her hairline and Zayn curls to her side, tucking her fingers under her chin because she doesn’t like the frustrated look taking over Liam’s face. “I was thinking about what you said about um, showing me how? And like, I got too nervous about askin’ you so it kind of ruined the mood for me.”
Zayn bites at her bottom lip, wishing Liam would finally look at her but she stares between them as she speaks, tongue flicking out nervously against her bottom lip after every few words.
“Asking me?” Zayn repeats, nudging her chin again but Liam still refuses to look at her.
Liam drags her toes against Zayn’s calf, nodding. “Yeah.”
Zayn forms her lips into an easy grin to comfort Liam, though her heart thumps heavy in her chest as she pushes Liam’s chin up more, rubbing a thumb against her slick bottom lip. “You want me to show you how to make yourself come, Li?”
Liam’s brows push together as she rolls that tongue over the pad of Zayn’s finger, nodding again. “I think you are like, the only person I’m comfortable with to like -”
Liam swallows thickly, brows furrowing more as Zayn tangles their legs together. “Be like that with.”
Zayn nods, taking in Liam’s words and they warm through her, making her chest tighten some but she keeps her face relaxed, knowing Liam needs it not to be weird.
And it isn’t weird really, but she doesn’t want to overwhelm Liam with how she feels because she could go on for hours and probably ruin this moment because of it.
“I want you to be comfortable with me,” Zayn murmurs back, dragging her thumb across Liam’s very pink cheek. “Want me to show you now?”
Liam’s eyes widen but relief coats her face some as she nods again, pressing closer so their hips and bellys press together.
Zayn nods, sucking in a breath before she ducks forward, grazing her lips against Liam’s so softly they barely touch. Liam’s part instantly, but she moves back, sliding her palm down to Liam’s collarbone to guide her backwards.
Zayn stays on her side, ignoring the way the air tenses around them as she takes Liam’s hand with her own. There is a determined look set on Liam’s face, her eyes overwhelmed as Zayn guides Liam’s palm against her belly, shucking up her shirt some.
“I like to touch myself,” Zayn murmurs, watching the way their hands look together. “Like I told you, all over.”
“I tried that,” Liam breathes, flattening her fingers instead of trying to grip on Zayn’s as she guides her shirt farther up, until their fingers scrape against her rib cage. The swell of her belly looks so soft, her chest rising and falling quicker than normal.
“How’d it feel?”
Liam swallows as Zayn pushes their fingers up higher, under the curve of her breast and Zayn can see the hard of her nipples underneath her shirt, fingers clenching around Liam’s to keep herself from leaning forward and mouthing at them underneath the material like she wants to.
“Really good.”
“Do you like your nipples touched?”
Liam nods, sucking in a breath when Zayn moves their hands higher, guiding Liam’s fingers to rub over the hard bud.
“Me too,” Zayn murmurs, shifting closer. “I like to pinch them a bit -”
Liam does that, biting hard on her bottom lip to muffle the groan in her throat. It is beautiful really, watching how red her skin gets, the way her eyelashes span across her rounded cheeks as her eyes flutter shut.
“Keep going,” Zayn tells her, sliding her fingers gently over the back of Liam’s hand. She touches her like that everywhere, trailing them across her belly and over her neck, thumbs breezing over her eyelids when they flutter shut, lips parting around a soft moan that sounds through Zayn.
“The other one, babe.”
Liam bites on her lips as Zayn trails a finger down her nose, tracing the shape of her mouth and back down her throat.
“God,” Liam breathes and Zayn can feel her eyes on her but Zayn watches her own fingers, sliding back to cover Liam’s hand with her own. “I feel like I’m on fire.”
Zayn grins. “You look like you’re on fire.”
She pushes Liam’s shirt up a bit higher to see the way pink trails between the curves of her breasts, her body shivering slightly as Zayn grazes a nail over the perked nipple between her fingers.
“Sorry,” Liam mumbles.
Zayn frowns at her, chuckling softly as she guides Liam to cup her breast, urging her hand to knead it between her fingers. “For what? You look beautiful, babe.”
Liam sucks in a sharp breath, pushing up some onto her elbow as she curves towards Zayn. “Can I take my shirt off?”
It is Zayn’s turn to suck in a breath this time as she nods, pulling her hand away from Liam. “You can do whatever you want, babe. I’m just here to help.”
Liam nods, before reaching down to curl her fingers around the bottom of her shirt, to tug it above her head. There is a nervous look on her face again as she flops back down, fingers tickling over her belly as she looks at Zayn.
Zayn leans over her, pushing her damp hair from her forehead as she grins. “You tell me what is okay and what is not okay, yeah? Try stuff, see if you like it and if you don’t, tell me okay?”
Liam nods, fingers tickling at Zayn’s side, playing with the material of the shirt that Zayn wears because it smells like Liam's perfume. “I think I’d like if you talk to me?”
Zayn grins more, taking Liam’s hand to cup her breast again. She looks down then, watching the way their hands look together, cupping the round of Liam’s breast, the swollen nipple that peeks between her fingers. “What do you want me to tell you? I like how soft your skin is -
Zayn ducks forward, nuzzling against her neck. “That you smell good, like my lotion -”
Liam breathes out harshly, taking over their hands and guiding them down her torso. Zayn moves her hand with hers, pressing a soft kiss to Liam’s throat because she isn’t sure if she is allowed to kiss her skin properly.
“That I’ve thought about this for awhile?”
Liam moans quietly, dragging their fingers down her navel and across her hips. She pushes her fingers under the band of her shorts, just a tease against her skin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Zayn murmurs, pushing up to hover her face over Liam’s so she can see how serious she is, even though she grins like it isn’t a big deal. She pushes their fingers underneath the band more, until she can feel the material hugging at the back of her hand. Liam’s hands roll up instinctively as Liam bites down on her bottom lip.
Her legs jerk slightly apart as Zayn feels her fingers slip lower, taking over the pace and Zayn drags her nails gently over the back of Liam’s hand, wanting to touch Liam the way she is touching herself.
Zayn leans forward, hovering her lips over Liam’s ear as she feels the way the back of her hand moves as she rubs a finger against herself. “That you’re who I think about when I touch myself like this?”
Liam groans roughly, turning her head so her lips knock against Zayn’s cheek as a shiver trembles through her. “Show me?”
Zayn huffs out, overwhelmed as she plops a kiss against the hinge of Liam’s jaw before easing her hand out from underneath the material and pushing up some. She can see Liam better like this, the way her belly clenches and her hips roll ever so slightly, the way her hand works slowly underneath her shorts.
“Off with these then,” Zayn murmurs, hooking her fingers under the band of her shorts and Liam complies, hips lifting until she is pushing forward to wiggle them off of her calves. She plops down on the bed with a dorky grin, wiggling her eyebrows some as the material disappears somewhere across the room.
The grin slips off her lips though when Zayn covers her hand back with her own and guides them between her legs. Liam hooks one leg between Zayn’s, as if the small bed isn’t large enough for her to spread them as much as she’d like.
Zayn ducks close to Liam’s face as she takes Liam’s fingers, lips brushing against her ear before she guides the pads over her fingers over the damp of her panties, pushing against the cleft before slipping down farther - until Liam moans softly into the quiet room.
“I like to tease myself,” Zayn explains, voice thick as she feels the arousal course through her at how wet Liam is already. “See how wet I can get before I touch me’self proper.”
“Fuck,” Liam breathes, head tilting back some and to the side and Zayn presses a tentative kiss to the slope of her neck as she spreads Liam’s fingers, pushing against her folds underneath the soft of her panties.
“Can I kiss you like this?” Zayn murmurs, pressing another small kiss to her throat and Liam doesn’t hesitate in nodding, a whimper rumbling in her throat - similar to the one building in Zayn’s at the permission to mouth at Liam’s throat.
She does, trailing open mouthed kisses against Liam’s skin, rolling her tongue over her skin as she pulls her hand away, smoothing it up the inside of Liam’s thigh as she instructs her to keep going.
“I like this too,” Zayn murmurs against her birthmark as she breezes her nails over the sensitive part of her thigh.
Liam’s hips jerk up, a strangled noise leaving her lips but it is soft - desperate, and Zayn doesn’t hesitate to hook her fingers around the brim of Liam’s panties.
“Can you,” Liam breathes as Zayn tugs them past her hips and Liam is eager in her movements to help pull them the rest of the way off. “Can you touch me now?”
Zayn groans roughly, leaning over Liam and she only hesitates a moment before she slots their lips together. Liam chases her fingers underneath Zayn’s shirt, across her belly and the ink wrapped around her ribcage before Zayn pulls away and nods.
She thinks she forgets to breathe for a moment as she adjusts herself, wrapping herself around the side of Liam to continue pressing their lips together as she brings her hand back down between her legs.
Liam fists a hand into Zayn’s hair as she teases past the coarse curls, and to her thighs, taking her time in touching Liam until Liam’s legs are spreading, the muscles of her thighs jumping as she whimpers needily against Zayn’s lips.
She just wants to be good for Liam, to show her she can be comfortable with Zayn, that she will take care of her, but she is also desperate to see how fucked out Liam will look when she comes.
“Want me to touch you?” Zayn breathes against mouth, teasing a finger against her lips. Just a breeze over her skin that makes Liam make a frustrated noise.
“Yeah,” Liam groans and Zayn grins as she knocks their noses together.
“Ask me.”
Liam bites on Zayn's bottom lip, whining slightly before she huffs out. “Zayn, please touch me ‘cause -”
Whatever she was going to say cuts off into a moan as Zayn presses her fingers firm against her, rolling the slick between her lips to her clit and it makes Liam shudder beautifully, lips parting and back arching into Zayn's touch.
“More?” Zayn teases, rubbing against her gently.
Liam tightens the grip in her hair, nodding. “Yeah, shut up now,” she groans tightly before she presses their lips together, cutting off Zayn's laugh.
Zayn moans into it as she works her fingers, encouraging the way Liam grinds up against her hand. It is overwhelming how easily Liam gets breathless, quiet in the way she whimpers though it sounds deafening in their quiet room.
She shifts slightly on top of Liam as she works her fingers lower, circling around her hole and gauging how Liam reacts. She tenses some, letting out a shattered breath that makes Zayn pull back some to watch her.
Her face is redder than Zayn has ever seen it, eyes clenched shut and brows pushed together. There has never been a time Liam hasn't looked beautiful, but Zayn wants to stitch how she looks right now to the back of her eyelids.
“Do you like this?” Zayn murmurs, eyeing how purpled Liam's lips are from just gentle kisses.
“Dunno, never tried,” Liam breathes nervously, giving Zayn a jerky shrug of her shoulders. “We can try now?”
Zayn nods, licking at her lips as she gentles a digit into Liam. Her brow creases as she curls her finger, rubbing slowly before gently fucking into her, the palm of her hand rubbing at her clit.
Liam digs her fingers into Zayn's shoulders, making a high pitched noise before she shakes her head.
Zayn doesn't hesitate to move her fingers away before sliding them against her clit again, before Liam speaks.
“Not so much, sorry,” Liam moans. It is amazing how she can look so pleased and apologetic at the same time and Zayn chuckles softly, peppering an assuring kiss to her lips.
“Don't apologize,” she laughs weakly. “Wanna make you feel good, whatever you want.”
“Anything?” Liam moans, cupping Zayn's cheek. She drags her thumb roughly against her bottom lip, looking conflicted before she whispers anything again.
Zayn's heart races, arousal pooling in her navel. She isn't quite sure what Liam is implying, but fuck - she hopes it is what she thinks it is.
“What do you want?” Zayn whispers, knocking their noses together as she presses her parted lips to Liam’s, her thumb keeping them from touching completely. Liam's hips jerk and squirm underneath her, and she can almost feel the way the tension ripples through her belly.
Liam whimpers, pushing her thumb past Zayn's bottom lip as she bites on her own, those nerves back in her face. “Kiss me?”
“Where?” Zayn pushes, voice right from holding back the moan in her throat and she hasn't even tried to relieve the pressure building between her legs.
“Fuck, Zayn -”
Zayn presses against her clit, pulling it gently between two fingers as if to mime how her lips would feel. “Here?”
Liam moans loudly, head tipping back against the pillows. Zayn only kisses her throat to compensate, needing Liam to give her the go ahead before she moves lower like she craves to.
Liam grips her shoulder again, the pressure of her palm light but Zayn moves lower, kissing at her collarbone, licking and nipping at the purpling skin until Liam presses harder against her shoulder.
“Words,” Zayn mutters. “Just say it babe, and you can have whatever it is -”
“Yeah,” Liam moans roughly, the impatience in her voice making Zayn chuckle lightly. “Kiss me there.”
Zayn groans, mouthing down her chest as she pulls her hands away from Liam to readjust herself so she is aligned on top of her fully, cupping her hips to keep them from rolling against her as she moves lower.
She sucks softly at the curve of Liam's breast before kissing between, trailing wet, mouth shaped marks down the swell of her belly. She runs her palms down Liam’s thighs, gripping them as she mouths at her hips so she can tug them above her shoulders.
Liam gasps, digging her heel into Zayn’s back as she turns her head to mouth at the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, teething at the skin until it is reddened and raw under her mouth. Liam's fingers are reckless in her hair, gentle tugs to urge Zayn on.
“This is what you want?” Zayn asks again, turning to hover her lips between Liam's legs. She spreads her lips with gentle fingers, moaning at how slick and red Liam looks.
She pulls her eyes up to Liam when she doesn't respond and sees Liam looking back down at her, lip trapped between her teeth for a long moment before she nods.
Zayn keeps her eyes on Liam’s as she licks tentatively. Liam huffs out roughly and she does it again, this time flattening her tongue from her hole to her clit, moaning at the taste before she wraps her lips around Liam’s bud.
“Holy fuck,” Liam gasps, pressing against the back of Zayn's head as her hips roll forward, just barely but Zayn notices the way she feels closer to her mouth.
Zayn groans, licking and sucking at Liam until her lips feel slick with Liam’s arousal, the taste threatening to make Zayn addicted. She has felt addicted to Liam for years now, but this - this is something different.
Liam trembles and shakes, legs clenching around her cheeks and toes digging into her back. She is loud but it is beautiful, high pitched overwhelmed noises, chin pointed towards the air and grinding against Zayn's tongue, fingers tightening in her hair to hold her harder against her and Zayn is in love with it.
“Fuck,” Liam gasps roughly and Zayn presses her hips against the mattress with a firm palm in hopes to ease the way Liam wracks beneath her. “Zayn, Zayn -”
Zayn muffles the wounded noise rolling off her tongue as she flicks her tongue faster, steady strokes against her clit before she wraps her lips back around her, savoring the way Liam gets wetter - messing her chin and pulsing against her tongue as her body stiffens underneath her.
Liam chants out harsh breaths before she lets out a muffled groan like her lips are pressed shut as she comes. Zayn pulls away, replacing her mouth with her thumb as she bites at the inner of her thigh, rubbing out the rest of Liam's orgasm.
“Oh my god,” Liam moans before she lets out a laugh, giddy sounding as she grips at Zayn’s chin to tug her up her body.
Liam giggles breathlessly, making Zayn giggle too before she smothers their lips together. It is a breathless kiss, interrupted by their laughs before Liam curls her arms around Zayn's shoulders and tugs her as close as possible.
“Good?” Zayn chuckles, nipping at Liam's bottom lip.
“Great,” Liam hums, eyes flicking open and the brightness and warmth in them makes Zayn's heart stutter in her chest. “Your turn now?”
Zayn shakes her head, grinning slightly as she runs her fingers over the edges of Liam's face. “No, sometimes I like to make myself come twice. Not done showing you.”
Liam’s eyes widen as she groans. “Are you going to take your clothes off at least?”
Zayn huffs out a laugh, nodding. “Yeah, babe. Come on.”
Liam frowns at her as Zayn pushes up and slides off of her bed, hand reaching out to curl around Liam's wrist to tug her along.
“My legs feel like jello,” Liam giggles as Zayn pulls her forward and across the room. “Where are you taking me?”
Zayn opens their door, peeking out to make sure they are still alone before she nudges her head to tell Liam to come along. “The shower.”
+*
Liam curls her arms around Zayn's where they wrap around her belly, her lips tickling against her neck as the warm water slips against her skin. It is intimate, soft the way Zayn drags her fingers against her skin - calm, but a buzz still runs through Liam at the feel of Zayn's wet body against her own, the hard of her nipples pressing into her shoulder blades.
How her voice drops so low and quiet when she whispers in her ear. Liam thinks she is going to think about tonight for weeks, the way Zayn's tongue felt between her legs, the way she looks so overwhelmed but that same look in her eyes she always has for Liam.
Because they are best friends, but Liam still ponders what Zayn meant about thinking about them like this for awhile.
“Spread your legs,” Zayn instructs quietly, chasing the water drops that slip down Liam's belly with her fingers. She hasn't ever been touched by anyone else like this, and she can't think of anyone else more perfect than Zayn to be the first.
Liam does as she ask, but frowns at the way Zayn pulls away some, moving her hand to press against her spine as her body twists behind her.
She feels the pressure from the shower head against her shoulders before Zayn is pressing back against her, placing a kiss to her ear as she moves the shower head in front of them.
“Oh,” Liam breathes, sinking back into Zayn as she curls her other arm around her waist. Liam's legs spread more as she reaches behind her to cup a hand around the back of Zayn's neck, a moan already building in her throat from anticipation.
“Okay?” Zayn murmurs against her cheek, the grin evident in her voice.
Liam nods, biting down on her bottom lip and gripping at Zayn's skin to keep herself from pushing Zayn's hand lower, not wanting to appear too eager but she is.
Her orgasm had been mind blowing, and she hadn't even have to try to clear her mind like Zayn had instructed, too focused on her every touch. The way it felt like Zayn's fingertips were igniting sparks against her skin.
“You sure?” Zayn hums, nipping at her earlobe as she skates the shower head lower, her other hand following to skate against her thigh. She pulls her legs apart further, stitching Liam closer to her.
“Yeah just, get on with it.”
That easiness and calm she felt a moment ago fades away as the pressure builds between her legs, her need for Zayn's lips on her skin growing. She tilts her head, revealing the slope of her neck as a way to silently tell her and it is all Zayn needs before her teeth are grazing down the length of it.
Zayn's fingers dig into her thigh as she moves the shower head where Liam needs it, and it makes her gasp loudly. She is sensitive and it pounds through her and she understands why Zayn grips her so tightly as her legs quake from the feel.
The water pulses against her clit, pleasure rippling through her like a wave, cheeks burning in embarrassment at the sharp moans roll off of her tongue as she curls her hips towards the shower head. She wants to drown in the feeling taking over her, body rushing towards her climax.
“Look at you,” Zayn groans roughly, massaging the streams of water against her. “Gonna come already?”
“Fuck,” Liam gasps loudly, knocking her head back against Zayn's shoulder in an attempt to nod. She feels like it, her body hard to hold up with the shake that runs through her.
She grips at her mouth, needing to hide how loud she knows she is going to be as her orgasm rocks through her but it hardly works. Zayn's arm curls protectively around her belly as she slips lower, their skin slippery from the water and knees bending.
“Guess you are a screamer,” Zayn giggles in her ear, pulling the shower head away and letting it hang so the streams knock against their calves.
Liam lets out a hitched breath as she turns, legs feeling like jello as they tremble and she curls her arms around Zayn like a vice grip. “Shut up.”
Zayn grins, head cocking to the side before Liam plants her lips on her’s to quiet her. It hadn't been that loud -
Zayn moans quietly, smoothing her palms up Liam's slippery back, trying to keep her close as she pulls back. Liam grins, nipping at Zayn's bottom lip as she tickles her fingers down her belly.
“Don't want me to touch you then?” Liam asks through biting kisses. She stops the movement of her hand until Zayn groans quietly.
Zayn keeps kissing her, biting and sucking at her bottom lip though Liam stills, focusing on the feel of her skin under her fingertips. She sucks in a breath in sync with Zayn as she moves between her legs, trying to tease Zayn like she had teased her, spreading her lips and sliding between them, circling her hole before dragging back to her clit.
Zayn shudders, letting out a gasp as she rolls her hips forward to meet Liam's touch. Liam pulls her face away to watch Zayn’s teeth fuck down on her bottom lip, eyes falling to take in the water droplets running down her breasts and navel, the way her fingers look rubbing between her folds.
Zayn is quieter, barely making any noise louder than a harsh breath as Liam rubs her off, fingers digging into Liam's back and legs noticeably trending as she slicks her fingers wetter, so wet it makes Liam groan roughly -
“This is good?” Liam huffs out, sliding her other palm up Zayn’s belly to cup her breast kneading it gently before rolling her thumb across her slicked, perked nipple. She hesitates for a moment before ducking forward to cover one with her mouth, savoring the way Zayn gets louder as she moans.
“A pro already,” Zayn mutters tightly as Liam bites at her softly, circling her fingers before pinching her softly.
Liam huffs out a laugh, rolling her clit between the pads of her fingers as Zayn’s body bucks forward, a strangled noise leaving her lips as she grips Liam's cheeks to tug her head back up.
She comes with her tongue snaking past Liam's lips, body trembling and dragging Liam back so Zayn’s back hits the shower wall. It makes Liam breathless, feeling the tension that runs through, her body battling to shake it out.
“Must be a pro,” Liam jokes back quietly, rubbing her palms up Zayn's sides. “For you to come that quickly.”
Zayn wrinkles her nose, grabbing the shower head behind her and firing it against Liam’s cheek. Liam ducks away, careful not to slip as she laughs.
“Almost came with my tongue on you,” Zayn quips, hovering the shower head over Liam's shoulders so the water beats against her back. “Without touching myself.”
Liam groans, knocking their foreheads together. “You kill me.”
+*
It becomes a thing.
A thing Zayn looks forward to all day, getting distracted while in class though not just from thinking about touching Liam, but kissing her, witnessing the soft, shy giggle that Zayn has never got to witness before now. The flush in her cheeks and the way she has developed a habit of curling around Zayn while coming down from her orgasm and refusing to leave Zayn's bed though Zayn has never insisted she should.
And Zayn would be more than fine if they didn't fool around, but the feeling that comes with thinking maybe Liam could feel something for her too has become addicting, and she sees that the most when they roll around their small beds together.
And Niall takes it well when Zayn tells him she doesn't want to fuck about with him any longer, to be just mates again. She had been nervous, unsure if there were any feelings there on Niall's part, even though he told her from the start that romance and love isn't something he wants.
“You still wanna chill though, yeah?” Niall asks, quirking up a brow as he pinches the joint between his fingers. He gives her a bright grin before he wraps his lips around the end, eyes on Zayn as he inhales.
“Obviously,” Zayn muses, kicking her feet onto Niall’s lap.
“Good,” Niall says, voice tight from the smoke. “‘Cause no one else can drink like me so you're the only one who’s not a bore.”
Zayn rolls her eyes, grinning as the relief flushes through her. “We still on for tonight? You and the lads?”
Niall nods, passing the joint back to her as he blows out the thick smoke. “Yeah, bring Li along. You two finally a thing or summat?”
Zayn startles, stilling where she brings the joint to her lips. She tries to keep the wide of her eyes calm but she knows she fails by the way Niall cracks out a laugh, face reddening as he does so.
“I knew it was you markin’ up her neck like that,” he laughs, bending forward as he huffs out his amusement like it is somethin funny.
“Me?” Zayn tries, voice tight before she puts out the burning bud in the ashtray in front of the couch. “But her and Harry?”
Niall shakes his head, settling back on the couch as he tickles her calves. “Not Harry, he's not in like sex, or whatever. Not his thing.”
Zayn frowns, cupping her hands behind her head where she rests it on the arm of the couch. “That's all he talks about.”
Niall shrugs, nipping at his bottom lip. “Afraid to seem abnormal I guess. Dunno, doesn't like to talk about it. But Liam’s had a thing for you since, like forever. Obvious mate.”
Zayn chews on her bottom lip, heart flipping in her chest as she shrugs. Definitely not, but she isn't sure how to talk about it without making her feelings for Liam apparent.
Niall gives her an easy grin, humor in his eyes. “Remember last year? When I called you my girl and Li got all hot and bothered, pretended to be joking about you being her Zayn but it was obvious she was being serious?”
Zayn feels her face grow hot as she shrugs again awkwardly. She does remember that, had been confused by that but she had blamed it on the amount Liam had to drink that night. Not a lot, but - “she always talks shit when she's drinking, mate.”
Niall only shrugs back, laughing to himself until Zayn kicks him gently in the stomach to get him to quit. It only makes him laugh harder.
+*
Nerves linger through her as she drags her fingers through Liam's hair, scooping up her curls to tug them into a messy bun at the top of her skull. Liam looks down at her with a warm look, cheeks a bright red from her orgasm.
She settles against Zayn's bare chest, cheek to her collarbone and making it obvious she isn't going anywhere.
Zayn can't stop thinking about what Niall had said, if there is more to how Liam feels about her than just someone to help her get off. Liam loves her yeah, but if it is more than just best mates, Zayn doesn't know and she wants to.
But she can't find the words to express that, to ask - and it is becoming frustrating.
“Niall invited us out tonight,” Zayn tries, tickling her fingers down Liam's sweaty back. “If you wanna go.”
“No,” Liam murmurs before she yawns. “I'm cool hanging here with you.”
Zayn bites around her grin, reaching for the blanket that is bundled beside them to tug over Liam's back. “Use me as a pillow, you mean.”
“Not my fault you're so soft.”
It goes quiet for a while as Zayn struggles with the thoughts in her head. She knows Liam is still awake by the way she fidgets here and there, lightly touching Zayn or shifting on top of her. She likes the calm that has settled around them, how easy it is just being here, not talking or doing anything really, with Liam.
“Do you wanna um,” Zayn starts thickly, palming at Liam's spine to comfort the nerves making her throat tight. “Like go to that new restaurant down the road tomorrow night after class? Just you and me or whatever.”
Zayn rolls her eyes at herself. She has asked people on dates before, but she feels like in this moment, she is complete shit at it.
Liam pushes up, a crooked grin set on her lips. “Wanna take me on a date, Malik? That new place is quite fancy.”
Zayn wrinkles her nose, pinching her side. “Maybe.”
She means to be teasing but her tongue feels heavy and her heart pounds brutally in her chest and there is no way Liam can't feel it when she presses her cheek back to her sternum.
“I'll be there if you pay.”
Zayn huffs out a laugh, relief coating her even though she can't manage the words to clarify that she does want it to be a date.
+*
Zayn stares at herself in the mirror. She doesn't worry about how she looks most of the time, usually never with Liam - who has seen her in worse states, but right now she is overthinking every shirt, every way she does her hair. Her eyeliner is too crooked and maybe she put on too much makeup, she can't decide which plugs are the best to wear, because Liam likes the white flower ones but she thinks the wooden elephants fit better with her outfit -
Zayn groans, planting her palms to her face. “Get it together.”
She can't, really. Because she has been overthinking what she is going to say all day, after years and years of wanting to say them to Liam outloud - but she doesn't know how.
Zayn slinks away from the mirror when her phone buzzes, knowing it is Liam because her last class just ended. They are supposed to meet at the restaurant, where Zayn should be already but she is always late.
forgot about dinner 2nt with Haz, rain check for tomorrow ?
Disappointment fills Zayn as she stares at the message, heart heavy as she types out an ok and flops onto her bed.
Maybe it's a sign.
+*
Zayn is mad at her. Liam can tell. Zayn thinks she isn't good at showing emotions, but she is like an open book. Her heart on her sleeve, Liam has always said.
She is cut off, her words tight and missing that usual warmth she has for Liam. And she was in bed when Liam had gotten home after hanging out with Harry the night before, even though Zayn is notorious for staying up into the late hours.
Liam doesn't know what she did to deserve it, and she nibbles on her bottom lip nervously as she watches Zayn in front of their mirror, fixing her chest until her breasts round more over her bra, drawing her hair up into a bun that is messy, so strands fall around her head and ticks her neck. She looks beautiful - always really, and it makes Liam's throat tight.
“Goin’ to Nialler’s,” she said offhandedly, glancing at Liam over her shoulder. “See you later.”
That jealousy Liam thought was gone curls in her belly and she pouts, brows pushing together. “Wanna go to that restaurant tonight?”
Zayn shrugs, reaching for the coat that hangs behind the door of their bedroom. “Not sure if I'm feeling up to it tonight. Nialler said something about pizza and drinks.”
Liam only nods, shifting down her bed. “Okay,” she murmurs, glaring up at the ceiling because the cut off way Zayn speaks to her makes a pressure build behind her eyelids. She doesn't cry easily normally, but all day she has felt like she is on the verge of tears when it comes to Zayn.
“You can come, if you want,” Zayn says softly, a hint of that warmth back. There is a guilty look on her face as she pauses her turning of the door knob. “Harry will be there.”
“Wanna spend time with you,” Liam tells her simply, though she feels like she should just be quiet. “Just you.”
“Then why'd you blow me off yesterday?”
Liam pushes up, glaring at Zayn in confusion and catching her glare right back, face hard before she shakes her head and pulls open the door.
“Forget it. Catch you later. Come if you want.”
+*
Liam knocks hard on Niall's front door, a determined look on her face she can feel. She was going to let Zayn be, knowing that is usually when she needs when she is upset with someone, to be left alone. Liam has only been subjected to the silent treatment a few times from Zayn, but it has never lasted long and she has always hated it.
Niall answers, a huge grin on his face as he holds the door open for her. Liam only mutters out a greeting before she heads over towards Zayn where she sits on Niall’s couch, legs tucked underneath her bum. Only Niall is there, no Harry and Liam feels bad for only a moment for interrupting.
“Come on,” Liam says, nudging her head towards the hallway that holds the boys’ bedrooms. “Need to talk to you.”
Zayn's jaw tightens but her eyes widen some, probably due to the serious and desperate way Liam says it, before she stands up, taking Liam's hand.
“What is it?” Zayn grits out as Liam tugs her into Niall’s bedroom, trying not to think about the moments Zayn and him have spent in here.
She plants her hands to Zayn's shoulders when the door closes, planting her back to it and huffing out.
“I'm sorry,” Liam says, pushing her brows together as she inches closer so their chests press together. She takes it as a good sign when Zayn doesn't push her away. Zayn pulls her closer actually, with her fingers playing with the band of her jeans around her hips. “I'm sorry I blew you off, I hadn't thought it would bother you and if I knew, I wouldn't have done it.”
“‘Course it bothered me,” Zayn mumbles before she bites at her bottom lip shyly.
“Well why?” Liam presses softly, tilting her head because she never really sees Zayn shy like this. And she has cancelled plans plenty of times before, and it had always been her who felt bad about it, and Zayn always telling her she needn't be.
“Nothing,” Zayn says firmly, moving a palm to the dip in Liam's back. “Not important.”
“It is,” Liam insists, curling her arms around Zayn's shoulders. “You're mad at me so that means it's the most important thing.”
Zayn grins slightly, shrugging. “Don't laugh, yeah?”
Liam nods, squeezing her tighter. She wouldn't.
Zayn hesitates for a long moment before she nods. “Wanted to like - I dunno, maybe it was wrong of me, but I wanted to take you out, yeah? Like on a -”
Zayn bites hard on her lip, face hardening for a moment like she is struggling with a word before she says it. “Date.”
Liam sucks in a breath, brows pushing in confusion. A simple word, but it makes her heart beat like mad in her chest. “A date.”
Zayn nods. “Yeah, a date.”
Liam groans, knocking their foreheads together. She doesn't know how to react to that information - that Zayn would want to take her on a date. That Zayn wanted anything more than messing around.
Not that she would mind if Zayn did only want that, but it has been making her feelings for Zayn increase. Her thoughts of maybe she is a bit in love with Zayn harder to ignore.
“I didn't know.”
“I didn't tell you.”
Liam pulls back, smiling softly before she pecks a kiss to Zayn's lips. “Let's go now, wherever. Let's go on a date now.”
Zayn frowns, rubbing at her back. “You want to?”
She laughs quietly as she nods. “I would have told Harry to eat shit if I had known.”
Zayn snorts, that brightness and warmth returning to her features. “I want to take you on a lot of dates, all of the time.”
“You can,” Liam promises, dragging her fingers through the loose hair under Zayn's bun. “All of the time.”
“And fuck around after?” Zayn murmurs, that cocky grin sliding across her lips as she whispers the words. “I like that too.”
Liam groans quietly as she nods. She slots their lips together, tongue rolling across the crease of Zayn's lips until they part and she can taste the pizza sauce on her tongue. Zayn fists at her shirt, stitching their bodies together until they become breathless, the sounds muting out the background noise from the television.
“Still have stuff to teach me,” Liam says between kisses as she presses Zayn into the door harder. “Like how I can fuck you -”
Zayn makes a wounded noise, knocking her head back against the door harshly. “Okay here's the plan, sex than date.”
Liam blurts out a laugh as Zayn giggles, nodding. “Deal.”