“But it’s Spring Break,” Kelley said. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, her textbook sitting open, forgotten, beside her. “And we’re gonna have to do something exciting, considering it’s our last one.”
“And you want to pile into a car and spend most of the week driving from one place to another?”
“Well shit, when you say it like that, it sounds boring,” Kelley pouted. “C’mon Al, it’ll be fun.”
Alex glanced up from her computer screen, her hands hovering over the keyboard. She was seated at the kitchen table, her half-eaten lunch cooling on the table beside her laptop. “It doesn’t sound very fun.”
“Are you kidding? We’ll drive up the coast. Or to the National Parks. Stop anywhere, see anything.” Kelley already had it planned. They’d go cross country, finish off the trip at her parent’s house in Georgia.
Alex considered this for a moment, her head tilted. Kelley forced herself not to look away.
“Just us?” Alex asked, brows drawn together curiously.
“If you want it to be,” Kelley said slowly, “or we could invite Tobin and Christen,” she says, a little bit faster, cheeks red.
“Just us is fine, Kel. When are we leaving?”
****
“Is this really going to be comfortable for a week?” Alex asked suspiciously as they loaded their bags in Kelley’s jeep. “Seems pretty cramped.”
“We’ll get out frequently,” Kelley promised, slamming the trunk closed.
Alex nodded and yawned. It was still early, the sun only just peeking over the horizon. Despite this, Kelley seemed to be entirely awake, despite not having had any coffee that morning. By contrast, Alex was on her second mug and was still half asleep.
“Why are we leaving so early again?” Alex asked as she climbed into the passenger seat.
“Oh, c’mon. It isn’t that early,” Kelley said, sliding into the driver’s seat and turning the key in the ignition.
“It’s six in the morning,” Alex said grumpily, taking a sip from her coffee mug pointedly, glaring at Kelley over the top of the mug.
Kelley rolled her eyes. “Not my fault you aren’t a morning person, Alex,” she said, her tone light, a toothy grin plastered across her face. “And, if you don’t stop complaining neither of us will have any fun.”
Alex laughs, drowning out the sound of the tires on the pavement.
****
Before they head off for good, they meet Christen and Tobin, Kelley and Alex’s best friends, at a cafe nearby to say their goodbyes. Kelley didn’t really know Tobin and Alex didn’t really know Christen, but they were important to one another, and somehow that was enough.
The café was better than Alex expected. The coffee was almost too strong for her, which was impressive, but the food was delicious, and Kelley ate enough for all of them.
“So, how’d you guys meet,” Kelley mumbled around a mouthful of food.
“A party,” Tobin said with a shrug.
“They invite you to the big girl parties now?” Kelley asked, turning to Christen.
“Shut up,” Christen said with a good-natured snort. “I start Law school next semester; it’s not that big a stretch.”
“Whatever gets you through the night,” Kelley said, taking another bite of her breakfast.
“Well how’d you two get together?” Christen countered, smirking down at her plate, one step ahead of Kelley.
Kelley choked on her breakfast. Alex glanced up at Christen, curious.
“We’re not together,” Kelley said when she regained her composure, not making eye contact with Christen.
This surprised Tobin. Her and Alex didn’t talk that much, but when they did, Alex usually had something to say about her roommate. And the way they moved together, and the way they were sitting a little too close, made Tobin think they had to be together. She dropped it, and they continued their meal in silence.
****
The first couple of nights they stopped at motels after full days of driving and exploring.
On their third night, they pitched tents in Yosemite National Park. Kelley broke out the tent, and pitched in way that made it look effortless.
“You don’t strike me as the camping type,” Alex commented, moving to stand behind Kelley.
“My dad took us a lot when we were kids,” Kelley said, pushing herself to his feet. “We haven’t been since I was, like, thirteen. Jerry got a fishing hook stuck in his ass and that was the end of that.”
“But you kept the tent,” Alex said from where she was sitting against the truck, fishing around in the cooler for something to drink.
“Yeah, well, call me sentimental,” Kelley said, walking over to the car and taking a seat next to Alex, pulling a beer from the cooler.
The sun had just slid below the horizon. They had cooked dinner over a fire, and Kelley threw more wood on it so it would flare up again. After some coaxing, flames were once again dancing over the logs. Kelley and Alex plop down on a log, a little closer than necessary.
Alex feels different here, it makes her feel like she can do anything. The stars in the sky and warmth of the fire make her feel stronger somehow.
Something tells Alex that it might have to do with the girl sitting next to her.
****
Kelley doesn’t remember how they ended up in the tent last night, probably the result of one too many beers, but she wakes up with her arm hanging loosely around Alex, like she’s trying to keep her from falling off the nonexistent bed.
Kelley smiles at the situation, but remembers the facts. Alex is straight, like unbearingly straight. Kelley herself, well, she loves Alex. More than she should. It’s a problem that Kelley can’t seem to find a way to fix.
Kelley gets up, slowly removing her arm from Alex’s waist, and gets out of the tent.
Kelley stands there, and looks up at the sky, and feels the wind on her back. She’s never felt more at home anywhere else. The outdoors is where she she belongs.
Kelley feels Alex hug her from behind.
“Morning,” she mumbles, unable to function without her coffee.
Kelley smiles. She was wrong. The only place she belongs is wrapped up in Alex’s arms.
****
They end up at a diner a few days later, somewhere along the border of New Mexico and Texas.
Alex heard Kelley’s stomach rumble over the roar of the radio and made the decision to pull over as soon as possible.
“Thank fucking god,” Kelley mutters, clutching her stomach, “you picked a good spot, Al.”
“I couldn’t concentrate on driving with your stomach making gross noises.”
“Fuck you, Alex,” Kelley grins before making her way into the diner.
They make their way over to a table, and seat themselves down. Kelley’s glancing over the top of the menu. Alex’s eyebrows are knit in concentration, her nose scrunched up.
"What do you want to order?”
Kelley let out laughed, "Well, what are you stuck deciding between Al?"
"Shit Kelley, that’s not what I meant," Alex said, trying to keep a straight face. She didn’t succeed.
Kelley smiled to herself at the way Alex's face lit up.
“What do you want, Alex?”
“I’m going to the bathroom. Surprise me.”
"You sure?"
"Positive."
Kelley ends up getting chicken tenders and quesadillas, knowing that that’s what Alex couldn’t decide between. Kelley’s had the pleasure of being Alex’s best friend for the four years they’ve been at Cal together, and sometimes she feels like she cares too much.
The smile on Alex’s face washes away the rest of Kelley’s doubt.
The waiter brought out the check when they were, and Kelley grabbed it before Alex even realized.
“Kel, how much do I owe you?”
“Nothing, Al, it’s on me,” Kelley said, fishing the money out of her back pocket.
“Kelley,” Alex said, cautiously.
“Alex,”
“How much do I owe you?!?”
“Nothing, I already said it’s on me,” Kelley said, stubbornly, a grin plastered across her face.
“Kelley, I swear to g-”
Kelley placed her hand on Alex, and she slowly stopped talking.
“Al. It’s okay. I got this.”
Alex swallows before quickly nodding her head, their feud forgotten.
****
The car comes to a slow stop, and Alex rolls her eyes. Kelley steers the truck towards the side of the road as the wheels use the last of their energy.
“Did we run out of gas again?” Alex asks, unclipping her belt.
Kelley sighs, but nods her head. “Maybe...it could be the battery.”
“Oh,” Alex replies. “We never should have gone on this trip, Kel.”
“We’ll be fine! I’ll give the battery a jump start and we can drive to the nearest gas station and stock up,” Kelley explains.
The corners of Alex’s mouth turn up to form a grin. Sometimes she forgets that Kelley is a whiz with cars. You wouldn’t expect it from her, but Kelley is magic when given the right tools
Kelley gets out of the car and pops the hood.
“You do your thing, Kel.”
Kelley laughs and watches as Alex leans against the side of the car. She tries her best to stubley check her out but Alex catches her, causing Kelley to turn away quickly, blood rushing to her cheeks.
Kelley places her hand on top of the car’s battery and grins; for once the battery isn’t covered in dirt and grease. Alex hands her the jumper cables, and within a few minutes Kelley’s got the car up and running.
Within an instant, the car starts up and Alex jumps a little.
“Do you want to drive?” Kelley asks, tossing Alex the keys.
“Sure,” Alex says, as she puts her sunglasses on and closes the hood.
****
Kelley turns up the radio to drown out the painful silence in the car and leans her head back to take a nap, only to jolt awake at the sound of a car horn.
"Mornin’ Kel," Alex’s raspy voice sounds from her left. "How was your sleep?"
"It could’ve been better. Fuck the asshole who decided to use his horn.”
"We've been stuck in traffic for like, an hour now. I don’t blame him."
"It was unnecessary to use the horn at all if we’ve been stuck here for that long."
"Someone's cranky."
"You would be too if you woke up to that, Alex. It’s fucking irritating.”
"Short and cranky," Alex teases further. Alex prides herself in being able to push all of Kelley’s button. Kelley knows Alex knows her well enough to pull this crap, but she can never stay mad at her.
"Whatever," she crosses her arms, "Are we there yet?"
"Almost, Kel, relax. If we could get out of this traffic we'll be there in about twenty minutes."
"Good, I’m hungry."
"Make that short, cranky, and impatient."
She gives Alex a light slap to the shoulder and the finger, which considering how much the the younger woman is laughing, clearly caused no harm. As if she could ever purposefully hurt Alex.
The sky's gray when they drive up to their hotel. It's not the best one in the Houston, but it definitely could be worse.
Their hotel room is way better than what Kelley’s expecting. It's got a tv, a bathroom, a couch and a closet, but it's only got one bed. One king sized bed.
She'll be taking the couch tonight, it seems.
"I swear I told them a double room!"
Alex looks over at her, defeated, and she can feel a blush creeping up her face.
"Don’t worry about it, Alex, I’ll sleep the couch."
"Kelley,” Alex states.
“Alex.”
“I'm not letting you sleep on the couch. The bed’s big enough to share."
Kelley’s almost as red as her truck at this point.
Alex’s grin isn't helping. Not at all.
"Does that make you nervous, Kelley?”
"What? Me, nervous? No. Never,” Kelley’s beat red at this point.
“I just- are you sure, Alex? I’m fine with the couch.”
The laugh that rings behind her lifts the corners of her lips. She shakes her head and turns around.
“It’s fine, Kel.”
They end up sharing the bed, and when Kelley wakes up with Alex’s arm wrapped around her waist, she can’t help but let out a smile.
She could get used to this, and that scares her. Kelley’s afraid of falling in love with Alex.
She’s afraid she already has.
****
Alex’s hands shake as she tries to lifts the gas pump to the truck, the nozzle refusing to go in, and she takes a moment to lean against the car. She doesn’t know entirely how they got here, how they ended up at this particular rest stop on this particular day in this particular lifetime.
Alex has learned that Kelley has a weird fascination with the average rest-stop candy section, well candy in general, taking forever to look over options, as if Alex and probably the whole universe didn’t already know Kelley was going to get a bag of M & M’s, like she always did, every single time, and eat them in rainbow order.
Alex, unsurprisingly, is adamant on keeping a healthy stock of an ever-increasing variety of caffeinated beverages in their cooler in the backseat.
There was something sublime about this trip, something that asserted that this was a road trip, that they were having an adventure.
Alex thinks back to how crazy Kelley sounded when she asked her, as if Alex would never say yes in a million years.
That’s the problem. Alex can’t say no to Kelley.
She wouldn’t have said yes to anyone else.
****
“But I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough! I want can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you love! Front porch and one more kiss, it doesn’t make sense to anybody else!” Kelley’s sweet alto voice was the only redeeming quality to the song that was playing on the radio. Alex, couldn’t stand country, but it was Kelley’s favorite, so why not?
Alex glanced over at her every once in awhile, hoping she might get tired and change the channel to something more inclined to Alex’s tastes. Instead, all she saw was a toothy grin and Kelley’s head bouncing along to the beat of the music.
She always frowned and looked back at the road, but her irritation at the music choice faded after each song.
Maybe Alex could get used to country.
****
New Orleans breathes new life into the trip. Kelley’s the most excited about Bourbon Street, something that Alex isn’t surprised about, but something different draws Alex to the city. It’s always moving, changing, it feels free in a way.
It’s not until they get to the hotel that Alex thinks that it reminds her of Kelley.
“What are you think about, Al,” whispers Kelley as she snakes her arms around Alex’s waist, burying her face into Alex’s back.
“What we’re going to do next.”
“And what would that be,” Kelley mumbles into her back.
"We're going clubbing, of course.”
Kelley’s about to object, about to say that maybe it's not a good idea to get drunk in a town they barely know, but she really can’t say no to Alex.
"I’m up for it, if you want."
"Really?"
"You really expected me to say no, Alex?"
"Well, yea. It’s easier to get Tobin or Julie out than you."
"I guess you don’t know as much about me as you think you do, Alex," Kelley says, a sly grin covering her face, before she disappears into the bathroom.
Alex pays for dinner, after another argument over the bill. Kelley tries, again, to take it from her, but she knows when she sees the glint in Alex’s eye that she won’t win this one.
The clubs and bars aren't far from where they are. They make their way down bourbon street, hands brushing every once in awhile, most of the time on purpose, but she’ll never admit it.
She only has a few drinks, three at most over the course of two and a half hours, but she still feels it, the way her whole body feels toasty warm and a smile slips more easily onto her lips.
It feels a lot like the way she feels when she’s with Alex.
Alex hasn't been careful with her drinking at all. She’s completely wasted.
Kelley is having trouble getting a drunk Alex back to their room, practically dragging her into the elevator.
Alex stops outside their door, leaning against the wall while Kelley goes through her wallet trying to find her room key. It had to have taken her at least five minutes - she doesn't know how Alex managed to stay standing up - but they make it back into the room.
The sound of the door shutting is drowned out by Alex pressing her into the wall. Kelley gulps, and she’s looking at anything but Alex.
“Kelley,” Alex starts, staring in concentration at her.
“Yea, Al?”
"You know you made me gay. I wasn't nearly this gay before I met you," Alex scoffs.
Kelley doesn’t know what to do. She’s pretty sure she’s the reddest she’s ever been in her life.
“Kelley,” Alex breathes out, inches away from her.
“Yea, Alex,” she croaks out.
“I really, really, really want to kiss you right now.”
Kelley doesn’t let her. Not like this, in this situation.
“Alex, you’re so drunk, go to sleep, bud.”
Alex drags her to the bed with her, and the silently get in together. Her heart is racing and her thoughts are going in a million different directions.
“Thanks Kelley,” Alex mumbles into her hair.
“For what?”
“Bringing me with you,” she whispers, before her breath falls steady and her eyes close for the night.
Kelley isn’t sleeping tonight.
****
They don’t talk about that night, not for a while. It’s eating at Kelley’s insides, and every move she makes around Alex is stressed. This stretch of the trip has been filled with unacknowledgable tension, and it’s hurting them.
They finally make it to a viable camping spot, and they stop at a campsite somewhere in the woods of Alabama. They pitch the tent, and Kelley starts a fire.
Kelley sits on a rock near the fire, reading a book for God knows how long when Alex interrupts her.
“I’m going for a walk, Kelley,” Alex says, a bit of desperation in her voice. Kelley knows she needs to the alone time.
“Okay, Alex. Just don’t go too far, okay?”
Alex nods her head before heading out.
It’s been an hour before Kelley decides to go find her.
Kelley walks to the sound of her feet crunching leaves for a while, slowly finding her way through the darkness. She only stumbled once, a personal record.
After about twenty minutes of searching, she finds her tat a clearing.
After the density of the trees on the trail, the clear meadow came as a surprise, since she hadn’t seen the clearing as she was approaching it, only after she walked into it.
Kelley looked up at the sky and his breath caught; the abundance of stars catching her attention. The stars and the moon gave off enough light that she could see the other edge of the meadow clearly, and more importantly, Alex, just a hundred yards ahead of her. She made her way over to her and stood next to her, brushing their hands.
“Wow,” Alex breathed. Kelley looked over at her to see an awed expression on his face.
Kelley smiled at her. “It’s something, isn’t it? The stars aren’t like this in the city.” she said.
Alex just nodded, and after a moment Kelley realized she was still looking at her and looked away. She tried to look around at the view around her, but she found it hard to keep her gaze from Alex’s face.
“You wanna go sit?” Kelley said after another moment passed in semi-awkward silence.
“What?” Alex asked, dazed, shifting her gaze away from the sky.
Kelley gestured to a tree that had fallen a few feet from them at the edge of the clearing. At Alex’s reassurance, they walked over to it and sat down, the log wasn’t too big and the two of them were forced to sit closer than necessary.
“Alex.”
“Yea, Kelley?”
Kelley is feeling brave. Extremely brave. If she doesn’t say this now she never will.
“We’ve never kissed before,” she draws out slowly, watching Alex’s face for discomfort.
Before she can finish Alex’s lips are on hers. It’s soft and it just feels so natural, like it’s something she’s been doing forever. Now that she’s had a taste she doesn’t think she’ll be able to live without it ever again.
It’s Alex who pulls away first, keeping the foreheads touching, when she breathes out an answer.
“Well, maybe we should’ve,” she breathes out, a smile playing at her lips.
That’s all the confirmation Kelley needs to dive in again.
****
Kelley glanced over from her spot on the couch and studied Alex idly. Her face was scrunched up in concentration, undoubtedly working on a sudoku puzzle. Her tongue was hanging out slightly.
“You look hot,” Kelley said suddenly, jolting her.
Alex’s face turned red, and her jaw worked like she wanted to say something. As soon as she finished a box, Alex looked over at Kelley with a glint in her eye, a smirk on her face.
“What brought that on?” she asked, glancing down at the puzzle every few seconds.
Kelley just grinned. “Nothing, Alex. I’m just saying you look good.”
Alex cursed softly and turned her attention back to the puzzle. Her lips were pressed together but her cheeks and ears remained red long after she acted like she was no longer paying attention to Kelley.
****
Kelley’s had a headache all day, and being on the road is not helping. When they stop for gas and Alex comes back and slides a pack of M&Ms into her hand, she thinks that it’s the little things that count.
****
They stop for coffee, and Kelley’s always been picky about her order. It has to be loaded with sugar and have a substantial amount of whip cream on the top.
Alex drinks it black, and it disgusts her to no end.
“Why are you so disgusting, Alex,” she says, whip cream smeared across her lips.
Alex responds by leaning across the dashboard and kissing the whip cream right off of her face.
“What was that for?”
“Who needs sugar when they’ve got someone like you?”
“That was disgusting, Alex. Worse than the coffee.”
“You love it though,” Alex retorted smugly.
Kelley just blushes and turns the key into the ignition.
****
Kelley always wakes up first. She’s always slow to get up, the feeling of Alex’s arm wrapped around her waist is enough to convince her to stay.
Mornings are the only time it’s ever really quiet and still, and Kelley likes to take it all in, from the sound of her breathing to the rain outside.
Sometimes, she enjoys the peace that ties in with being the only one awake, that fresh cup of coffee and the morning news rumbling low in the background providing white noise, before Alex joins her, still rubbing sleep from her eyes as she gets her own cup of coffee and finds Kelley outside of their tent.
It’s a little domestic, really. Not that Kelley’s complaining.
Kelley remembers that she doesn’t like being alone every time she sees Alex smile at her over the cup of coffee after she says goodmorning.
****
Miami is exactly what Kelley expected it to be - crowded with other college students looking to party.
Kelley’s not surprised that Alex is one of them.
They avoid the clubs this time, instead opting for the beaches. Kelley parks the truck, and they lug their gear out before making a little corner of the beach theirs. Kelley rents a surfboard while Alex reads and tans.
Kelley enjoys water. Alex enjoys the view. The sun makes Kelley’s eyes shine in a way that’s more stunning than normal, and every minute spent outside brings out her freckles just a little bit more. Alex really wants to map them out, to show Kelley just how much she means to her. She silently promises herself that she’s going to do just that before they leave.
Alex is reading on their towel when a soaking wet Kelley plops down next to her. Alex can see the exhaustion in her features, the hours of sun and surf having worn her down. Kelley’s hair is tousled from the waves, and Alex really wants to kiss her.
So she does.
“Al, come in the water with me, it’s perfect out there! Maybe I can finally teach you how to surf,” she laughs after pulling back..
"Why would I do that when the view from here is great?"
Kelley knows she doesn't mean the shoreline and she kisses her again, heart pounding with ferocity.
There's a certain smoothness to it all, from hands skimming over sun kissed skin and the short of breath moans that take after. Tasting the salt and the sun on one another's skin. Waiting kisses, moderate and enthusiastic. Kelley’s wanted this for so long, and Alex knows it, and she thinks she wanted it too.
No one has ever made her feel this way, and that makes her nervous, but Kelley has a way of wordlessly reassuring her that they’re okay, that this is right.
It is right.
When the sun starts to set Kelley is boneless, eyes struggling to stay open when Alex mumbles against her neck, "You still wanna swim, Kelley?"
She can feel the smile against her skin and laughs, wrapping her arms around Alex’s shoulders. "No. I'm fine right here."
They stay like that for a few more hours, and Alex wouldn’t have it any other way.
****
“Kelley, stop it,” Alex says, batting Kelley’s hand away for what has to be the fifth time.
“What am I doing Alex?” Kelley says with a knowing grin, and again tries to rest her hand on Alex’s thigh.
“Kelley, I’m trying to drive, if you keep doing that I’m going to crash the fucking car,” Alex says through gritted teeth. She hates that Kelley has this effect on her.
“What am I, doing Alex?” Kelley questions innocently, dragging her finger up Alex’s thigh
“Touching me,” Alex stammers out, the pounding between her legs distracting her from the road. She’s brought back into focus from a loud honk behind them. Kelley’s laughing way too hard, and she can’t take it anymore. She swerves hard to the right, looking for a secluded place to park.
“What are you doing, Alex?”
“You, once I find a place to park.”
“You’re disgusting,” Kelley responds, beat red.
“Yea, but you can’t resist.”
“True,” Kelley mumbles out before being shut up by Alex’s lips on hers.
****
"I'm glad you came with me, Alex," Kelley says to Alex, who’s sitting in the passenger seat with a hand on Kelley’s thigh. "I couldn't imagine this trip without you."
Alex smiles, setting Kelley on fire. She’ll never get tired of the way Alex makes her feel. She feels so alive with this girl, and it’s not something she plans on letting go of.
She thinks she’s loved Alex more than she ever has before in this moment.
She’s said that before.
“I’m glad you asked me, Kelley.”
“I was always going to ask you, Al. You’re my best friend,” she says, bring her hand to rest on top of Alex’s.
“Kelley, can we do this again?”
Kelley’s surprised by the question, but she feels proud nonetheless.
“Yea, Alex. This was the best trip of my life,” she says, squeezing Alex’s hand.
“I just want to do one thing different the next time around.”
“You do? What’s that?
“Yeah, I don’t want to go as your best friend.”
“You don’t?” Kelley asks, faltering slightly.
“I want to go as your girlfriend,” she says, grinning widely.
“Yeah, I can arrange that.”
“You better.”
Kelley leans over the dashboard to kiss Alex. Kelley’s loved her since their first year on campus together, and now that they’re here doing this together in this moment it feels surreal. Kissing Alex makes Kelley feel a lot of things, but one stands out above the others.
Kissing Alex feels a lot like free falling, and if falling meant she got to be with Alex, she’d fall forever.